War of Hearts, A Historical Romance (17 page)

She did feel a bit guilty for tricking the
Colonel. Hell, Ryan had even saved her life. No. She would not fill
her heart with regret; there just was no room left.

She sat down and brushed out her hair. She
cursed Tristan for undoing it at night. It was not he who had to
fight with the tangles every morning. Brushing them free with
vigor, she braided her hair in two plats and let them fall down her
back.

Looking in the mirror, she thought the
braids made her look younger than her eighteen years. She may look
young, but her soul was old. She had seen too much death, too much
pain. Refusing to give into tears she stood and headed down to
breakfast.

For once she was the first one there. Not
wanting to sit and wait she headed to the kitchen to see if she
could help. Cecilia greeted her warmly.

“Sleep well?” she asked.

“I haven’t slept well in years,” she
confessed, and received a pat on her arm for support.

“These are dark days,” she replied. “But you
should not worry. Master Tristan adores you. He will care for
you.”

She snorted at that. “Until when? Until
someone else catches his eye?”

“No Miss…”

Boots clopping down the stairs drowned out
their conversation. Sarah’s green eyes met Tristan’s blue ones and
her heart sped up on its own accord. He hesitated on the last step
as if he wasn’t sure whether to approach her or not. She looked
away first and he sighed, heading to the dining room.

With the ball two days away the Colonel was
in a tizzy. Ryan was scribbling frantically as the Colonel named
off a whole list of to-dos. Sarah promised to help them tomorrow,
and received a grateful smile from both. Breakfast was over and
done; too soon Sarah found herself alone at the table with
Tristan.

Silence filled the room and Sarah traced the
silver pattern with her finger.

“Sarah…” he started.

She glared over at him and he reluctantly
stood. “Time to go.”

His head swam with emotions and he was not
sure where to start. There was so much he needed to tell her,
however he was terrified for some reason. Terrified to let her know
what a powerful presence she was in his life.

This crazy plan of hers was very dangerous
and he was unsure who would make it out alive. His priority was her
life. He cared naught for anyone else.

Of course he would feel sad if Gabriel fell.
But if anything happened to Sarah, he wasn’t sure he could go on.
The fact that she had filled his life with her essence in such a
short time confused him greatly.

He had women in his life before, and none of
them had anything close to what Sarah could offer. Her heart. It
was as simple as that. So why couldn’t he just tell her?

They walked silently to the carriage and he
crossed over to help her climb up. She accepted his hand
reluctantly and sat up stiffly in the seat; as close to her own
side as possible. The seat sunk down slightly as Tristan sat, and
with a click of his tongue, they were off.

Sarah glanced at the scenery without seeing
it. She could smell the salty air as they neared the sea and was
surprised when he pulled to the side of the road and stopped.

“Sarah, please say something.”

She ignored him, watching a bird scratching
the ground looking for worms.

“Please?”

She glanced over at him hearing the need in
his voice.

“It’s not you Tristan, it’s me. I’m not sure
who I am anymore.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I don’t know what I mean. But when I look
in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself. I don’t see the girl from
Jersey who followed her brother into war. The person I see is a
stranger. Someone who is willing to kill without a second thought.
Someone who…who lies with a man just for the pleasure of it. It
isn’t right.”

Tristan’s heart clenched at her pain. She
dissolved into sobs and he pulled her into his arms even though she
fought at him weakly. He kissed her hair as he held her. Rubbing
her back he tried to soothe her. Her sobs quieted and he offered
her his handkerchief.

“Sarah, nothing you have done is wrong.
Randall was a waste of air and deserved to die. As far as being
with me, I am to blame. I fell for you the first time we met. I had
to have you; and since I have, I cannot fathom being with another.
I know it is selfish, but whenever you are in my bed, I never want
you to leave. And when you aren’t there, well I can barely function
with worry. As far as my joke yesterday, I grievously regret it.
There is no cathedral in the world that can compete with your
beauty.”

She rolled her eyes and lightly punched his
arm at the jest.

He gently grasped her chin and turned her
head to face him. “Seriously, I know we have not discussed the
future; but if I am graced with one, I want you to be in it. I want
to spend my life with you, and I would be honored to have you as my
wife.”

Sarah sat in a stunned silence, not sure if
this was real or a dream. “You want to marry me?” she asked
cautiously.

“Of course. Isn’t that what you want?”

“It’s what I thought I wanted. I used to
believe in fairytales, where people live happily ever after. Does
that seem foolish?” she asked softly.

“Happiness is never foolish. There is so
much sadness and hurt in these times, we have to hold on to every
scrap of joy we can find. Do I make you happy?”

She smiled up at him. “Yes. But…”

He frowned. “But what?”

“Robert.”

His brows angled in confusion. “My brother?
What about him?”

“I was close to Robert, and he…he wanted to
be with me. I…I turned him down. He’s married.”

Tristan scoffed. “If you could call that a
marriage.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Well, I was hoping you
had more respect for the sanctity of marriage.”

“Of course I do! So, if Robert wasn’t
married?”

She shook her head. “That is not even an
option. He is married so I said no. I just wanted you to know. I
don’t want there to be secrets between us.”

“No secrets,” he whispered, leaning over and
kissing her gently.

A gunshot rang out from nearby, startling
the horses. Tristan grabbed the reins and fought for control. Sarah
clutched desperately to the seat; she would have clung onto
Tristan’s arm but she assumed he needed both of them at the
moment.

The scenery flashed by and she was filled
with fear for Tristan’s safety, as well as her own. Standing up, he
wrapped the reins around his fore arms and pulled with all of his
might. The horses balked at first but soon started to slow.

A tired Tristan sat down next her. “I hate
horses; I’d rather be on a ship.”

“Well, then let’s get going,” Sarah
replied.

“Aye, Aye.” He grinned, setting them off on
a slower pace.

***

The plank was already lowered when they
arrived, and Tristan held tightly to Sarah’s hand as he guided them
across. Not seeing Gabriel on deck, they headed below.

They located him in the captain’s quarters
holding a pistol aimed at the door. “Whoa!” Tristan called out as
Gabriel lowered the weapon with a grin.

“Just making sure.” He grinned, clapping
hands with Tristan and nodding to Sarah. He motioned to the maps he
had pulled out and they crowded around to listen.

Gabriel used coins to mark out the current
position of the boats and slide them around as he and Tristan
finalized the strategy.

“You and Sarah will be on the
Sea
Maiden
in case she is needed.”

“No,” Sarah spoke up. “I need to be on the
Vixen
. Many prisoners will be sick and injured. They will
need me.”

“Absolutely not!” Tristan countered. “It is
too dangerous. A couple more hours will not make a difference.”

“It will to them.”

“You don’t understand; that boat is full of
disease and vermin. I will not risk it,” he added.

“Vermin?” she seethed. “Those are men! Brave
men, who will be strong once more. I will trust their care to no
one else.”

Gabriel watched the pair with interest. His
eyes followed them back and forth; he would have smiled if the
discussion were not so serious.

“I did not mean to imply that the men were
vermin, just that they would be covered in it. They will have to be
undressed, and that is not a chore for a lady,” Tristan pleaded
with her.

Sarah let out a frustrated groan. “A lady? I
have seen men fighting bare-naked because their clothes had worn
off their reduced frames. I have assisted in surgery and been
subjected to every human by-product imaginable. Blood, pus, urine,
feces, vomit, spit, and tears. General Washington had the entire
camp inoculated against small pox, which saved countless lives. Not
to mention I have been exposed to every disease imaginable and have
become stronger for it.”

“My men can handle it,” Gabriel spoke,
earning a fiery glare from Sarah.

“Your men will be exposed, if you mingle
them with the rest of the crew, you risk exposing everyone on both
ships. All should stay on the
Vixen
in quarantine until they
pass or are healed. They would stand a better chance of healing if
I were there as well. Don’t forget that your brother will need care
as well,” Sarah spat back.

The men glanced at each other uncertainly.
Her words made sense. Tristan sighed. “Well, if you are going to be
on the
Vixen
, then so am I.”

“And who is going to captain the
Sea
Maiden
?” Gabriel asked.

“You are. Jonathan will be rescued. We will
save all we can.” The last bit he added looking at Sarah.

Sarah flung herself into his arms as he held
her close.

Back in the carriage both were quiet, lost
in their own thoughts. Sarah’s stomach rumbled and she blushed,
laying her hand on it to stifle any future noises. Tristan’s blue
eyes twinkled at her. “Hungry?”

“No,” she mumbled back.

“Well I am. I know a great place to
eat.”

Sarah did not reply; he turned down a road
she vaguely recalled and tried to get her bearings. This city was
like a maze. She doubted if she would ever figure it out if she
lived here a hundred years. He pulled up and parked the carriage in
front of a tall brick building. Wondrous aromas wafted out the door
and Sarah realized how hungry she really was. With a sigh, she
leaned down into Tristan’s arms as he lifted her to the ground.

Keeping his arm around her waist he led her
to the door of the cookery. A finely dressed gentleman bowed to
them as they entered . Sarah felt out of place immediately. He
greeted Tristan by name and led them into the dining area. Sarah
couldn’t help but glance around at the linen laden tables with
fresh flowers and candles.

The man pulled out Sarah’s chair for her and
she felt awkward when he scooted her back in. Sarah looked on in
surprise as a young boy hurried over with water goblets and another
man with an air about him asked them what they wanted to eat.

Sarah glanced at Tristan, unsure how to
reply. He winked at her and requested he recite the specials.

The server cleared his throat, repeating the
list in a bored monotone. The droning noise caused her mind to
wander, and she glanced around at the other finely dressed patrons.
She wondered if the stuffy people would be attending the ball.

She heard the man clear his throat again,
tapping his foot, and she turned to look at him. “Pardon me?” she
asked.

“What is your selection?”

“Um…I’ll take the lamb,” she replied,
pleased her mind had pulled forth a word from his rambling
list.

“The same and we will take tea as well,”
Tristan added.

He nodded without comment, disappearing into
a back room.

“I have never seen a place such as this,”
Sarah said, twisting in her seat to stare at the elaborate fare
being carried to the other tables.

“I used to eat here fairly regular; that is
before I had such a lovely house guest.”

“I’m not sure I would consider Ryan as
lovely,” she teased.

“No, but he is quite a catch from what I
hear.”

“Yes, which is why I’m accompanying him to
the ball.” Sarah lifted the water goblet and took a sip, trying to
hide her smile. Tristan frowned. He had almost forgotten that.

“We’ll I do hope you save me a dance.”

“I will try desperately.”

The server returned with two bowls of soup
and wordlessly set them in front of them before retreating. To
escape Tristan’s intense stare, which penetrated her soul, she bent
her head to take a sip. Her hand shook a bit, betraying her own
deep emotions.

The warmth filled her throat as she
swallowed. She was sure it was delicious, however the only taste in
her mouth she wanted was Tristan’s. As time drifted away, Sarah was
desperate to express her feelings to him. He had largely led all of
their encounters. That was going to change.

She looked up, meeting his gaze filled with
a need of her own. A slow smile spread across her face as she moved
her leg underneath the table and ran her foot up his calf.

The spoon Tristan had lifted toward his lips
stilled in midair. She watched amused, his hand was wavering and
dribbled the broth onto the spotless tablecloth.

“Hungry?” she asked.

He leaned forward, tensing with an
animalistic need as food left his mind. He watched her smile widen
as she traced an imaginary path to his inner thigh. In desperation
he clutched her ankle holding her still, his pants tightening
around his groin.

A gleam filled his own eyes and he grasped
her foot, tugging her closer toward him. Her chair squeaked from
the forward motion and she squealed in alarm, pulling away quickly.
Her knee hit the tabletop hard and knocked over his water
goblet.