Waking Hearts (15 page)

“Tell me your secrets,” Beth said, watching the kids.

“Secrets?”

“It’s almost unnatural how nice your children are. And it’s a damn miracle how well-adjusted they’ve turned out with their dad.”

Allie shrugged. “I have people.”

Beth laughed, familiar with most of Allie’s “people.” “You do,” she said. “The kids sure mentioned that bear a lot.”

Allie closed her eyes and leaned back in the lounge chair. “Ollie’s a good friend.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed how
friendly
he is for years.”

Allie opened her eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, dear clueless sister, that man is hot for you and has been for ages.”

She waved a hand and tried to calm her racing heart. “I’m not his type.”

“Really? Because I’m fairly sure that man’s type is
you
.”

“You haven’t seen the women he’s dated, okay?” She closed her eyes again and concentrated on the warmth of the sun, trying not to think about how warm he’d felt around her. “Besides, what single thirty-five-year-old man is going to be willing to take on a woman with four kids? He’s not insane.”

Beth scoffed. “You’re acting like he’d be doing you a favor.”

“Yeah, ’cause I’m such a catch.”

“Will you stop?” Beth tore off her sunglasses, scowling at her. “What makes you think you aren’t?”

Allie held up fingers. “Poor. Single mother. Dead husband who was probably a criminal. Stretch marks.”

“I will hit you if you mention your four stretch marks again. Do you know how many humans usually get? We’re shifters. We’re lucky as it is.”

“It’s more than four,” Allie grumbled. “And it’s just so unfair that I got them and you didn’t.”

“Yeah, but you have a burly, tattooed giant who’s hot for you.”

“And your husband wears a kilt on formal occasions.”

Beth grinned. “Yes, he does. And he has great legs.”

“Ollie has great legs,” Allie said under her breath.

“So you’ve noticed?”

“Of
course
I’ve noticed. I’m not dead.”

“But you’re not pursuing him because…”

“Seriously?” Allie said, turning to her sister. “You’re asking me this
now
? When you’ve been dealing with our emotional baggage for the past two days?”

“Well, I’ve kind of been wondering for months. And grief is not emotional baggage, it’s a natural part of life. Do not stigmatize a completely natural part of living, Allie.”

She took a deep breath. “Fine. But do you really think my kids are ready to deal with mommy having a boyfriend? Or even thinking about that?”

Beth paused, and Allie could tell she was truly thinking it over.

“Normally,” her sister started, “I would say no. If you were a stranger I was counseling, I’d tell you to back off and let yourself heal. I suspect that’s what Ollie is thinking as well, especially now. But you’re not a stranger, and your situation isn’t normal.”

“You have to be clearer, because my brain has way too much going on to interpret that. Nothing about this is normal.”

Beth kept her voice low, but the kids were shouting and laughing too much to pay attention.

“You had emotionally separated from Joe long before he left. You are very far from hung up on him. The grief you’re feeling is the kind of grief you would feel even if this had happened ten years from now, Allie. Because you didn’t lose a husband you loved, you lost the father of your children whom you
once
loved, and it’s a different kind of grief.”

Allie nodded. That made sense to her. “But the kids—”

“If this was a new guy who had just come into the picture, I’d warn you off. You know I don’t give a shit about being polite when it comes to the well-being of my nephews and niece.”

“But?”

“But Ollie isn’t new. He’s been a part of your life—and a part of theirs—since they were born. Having him around, whether it’s as your friend or even possibly your boyfriend, is not going to hurt them. It might even help. Especially if it makes you more emotionally fulfilled. Because sister, I love you, but you have looked wrung out for months.”

Allie took a deep breath and tried to reconcile what her sister was saying with the guilt that was eating her heart. Guilt for thinking of herself instead of her kids. Guilt over feeling attracted to Ollie when Joe was dead.

“Listen,” Beth said, “I’m not saying you should start rubbing up on the man in front of your five-year-old. I’m just saying that if something happens because your relationship with Ollie goes in a new direction—one that I’ve seen the potential of for years, I might add—it’s not going to hurt your kids. So get that out of your head.”

“Am I a bad mother?” she asked. “For even thinking about this stuff?”

“Nope. You’re a normal woman who’s been alone a long time and now has a good man giving indications that he’d like to be a bigger part of her life.”

Allie took a deep breath. “He is a good man.”

“He’s a really good man. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t have him around your kids anyway.”

“Okay.” She relaxed a little. “I still don’t think I’m his type.”

“I’m going to throw you in the pool if you mention the stretch marks again, fart-face.”

ALLIE and the kids only stayed at Beth and Brian’s house a few nights. In the end, she could tell that all of them wanted to get home. They needed their friends and their grandparents. Needed the routine of school and sports, even if their dad was really and truly gone. Loralie had been sleeping in Allie’s bed at night, and neither one was getting much rest.

It was almost bedtime by the time they managed to pack everything in the car and head back to the Springs.

“Mom.” Kevin sat up straighter next to her in the minivan. “There’s something not right.”

She peered into the darkness. She’d just pulled off the main road and rumbled over the cattle grate by their fence. The front porch lights were on, and she wondered if she’d forgotten to turn them off or if her dad had come over to check the house.

“Kevin, what—”

“Stop the car,” he said. The unexpected command in her son’s voice shocked her enough that she stopped. “I saw something.” In a second, the passenger door was open and she sensed his shift.

“Kevin!”

Dammit. What was she supposed to do? She couldn’t leave the younger kids alone to chase after him.

Mark unbuckled his belt and leaned forward. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.”

She rolled down her window and smelled the breeze, but it was coming from the other direction. A sharp, vulpine whine came from the back of her throat.

Her son was out there, and he’d shifted because he sensed danger. She reached for her phone to call Caleb just as Kevin trotted back. He scampered behind the car and shifted back, buttoning up his jeans as he walked back to the open door.

“Kevin, what happened?” Mark shouted.

“Keep your voice down,” he hissed. “Someone’s in the house, Mom. I thought I saw one of the curtains move, and when I went closer, I could see flashlights.”

She stifled her instinctual snarl and reached for the door. “Stay with your brothers and sister.” She handed him her phone. “Call Ollie and Caleb. Now.”

“Mom—”

“Stay in the car!” She handed him the keys. “Lock it. And if anyone but me comes nearby, you take off and drive to Ollie’s house.”

She got out and listened until the doors locked behind her. Then she walked to the back and removed her clothes, a faint shiver chasing her spine as she bent and shifted.

A tug in her belly, a tingling in her nose.

She was her fox.

Allie let out a howling bark, well aware of the chilling nature of her call. She dashed to the house, slinking between the scrub and creeping forward unnoticed. If the intruders saw anything, it would be the flash of eyes in the half-moon.

Low to the ground, the scents could be overwhelming, but the fox sifted through the layers until she scented
other
in the air, a discordant thread in the familiar tapestry of the desert.

There were two.

She crept around the back, pausing under a window where she could hear them moving. They did not speak, but she could hear ripping and tearing in her bedroom. Two grown humans were far too big for her to hunt, but she could do her best to scare them away. Away from her home and children.

Allie barked again and all sound stopped.

“What was that?”

“Sounded like a scream.”

“All the way out here?”

More silence. The men moved through the house, and Allie could hear them kicking things out of their way.

“You think someone found the car?”

“Who the hell knows?” A thumping, as if the man had dropped something. “We should go. There’s nothing here. Maybe when Russell’s wife…”

Their voices became muffled as they headed toward the back door. Allie followed them, slinking along the edges of the house. There was a cold, foreign scent coming from under the kitchen. She poked her head in a space, only to pull it out when she caught a more threatening scent in the wind.

Bear
.

She could feel the vibrations in the sand beneath her paws. The humans didn’t feel it. Didn’t see it. But as she watched them jog down the porch steps and into the night, she followed.

They were headed to the back of her property and the tail end of Emmet Wash. Allie was guessing that was where they left their car. On the other side of the wash was a thick stand of cottonwood on an old farm road. It was little more than a dirt track but wide enough to take a vehicle and far enough from her house that it wouldn’t be noticeable.

The bear was getting closer.

“What was that?” one of the men asked.

“I don’t know. This whole fucking place gives me the creeps. Let’s go.”

Bears weren’t known for stealth. Allie couldn’t believe the humans missed the crashing through the brush. A pause as the bear leapt over the fence on the border of her property. A heavy thunk.

The humans stopped.

“There’s something out there.”

“Probably a coyote.”

“Are they dangerous?” A thread of panic.

You’re not panicking enough. Not nearly enough.

The bear was getting closer.

“They’re coyotes, dumbass. They’re smaller than most dogs.”

Ollie paused, probably twenty meters away. His shaggy brown coat would be invisible in the night. She heard the huffing pants. Then a draw of breath before the bear let out a terrifying roar.

“What the hell was that?”

The humans were running now, but so was Ollie. She could hear them scrambling through the brush.

“Was that a bear?”

“Holy shit! Run.
Run!
”

He chased them over the small hill and across the wash as Allie hurried to keep up. Ollie could run faster than most humans realized, but foxes were faster and more agile.

Crossing the wash slowed Ollie down just enough to let the humans jump in their car, but he quickly caught up to them. He reared to his full height, put both giant paws on the hood of the sedan, and silently stared through the windshield.

Allie smelled urine and adrenaline. The humans were scrambling inside the vehicle, looking for keys and yelling at each other.

The bear paused, took a huffing breath, and roared again, his fangs gleaming in the moonlight.

Every instinct in the fox told her to run. Only the human mind calmed her. This was Ollie. He would never hurt her or her young.

The grizzly slowly dug four-inch claws into the car’s hood, tearing metal and drawing back before he reared up again, bouncing on the front of the luxury vehicle like it was no more than a child’s playground toy.

The humans screamed, but one of them managed to turn the key in the ignition and the car started.

Allie barked again. Short, high-pitched barks designed to grab the bear’s attention. If the humans rammed him, they could hurt him. Not mortally, but a car could do some damage.

With one last roar and a shove, he backed away. The humans reversed the car, kicking up dust and almost running off the road in their attempts to escape. The bear paced along the edge of the wash, huffing until the lights disappeared.

Then he turned with a low, rumbling growl and started running back to the house. Allie ran with him, darting her tail out to brush his shoulder as she passed him. She reached the minivan and circled it, checking for any unfamiliar scents before she went to the back and shifted to her human form again, pulling on her clothes as quickly as possible.

Kevin rolled down the window. “Mom?”

“I’m fine, Kevin. Stay in the car.”

“What the fuck did you think you were you doing?” Human again, Ollie roared at her, striding out of the shadows and marching to the back of the van stark-naked while she was still pulling on her pants.

“Hey!” she barked. “Calm down. You think my kids can’t hear you?”