Waking Elizabeth (27 page)

He
closed his eyes, as if hearing that brought him great pain.
 
And I was positive that it did.
 
If her emotions caused me the pain that I
felt I could only imagine that he felt Robert’s as well.
 

“So
they cursed us?” I laughed incredulously, “Is that what’s happening to us?”

“You
are in a place of death, Ellie.
 
There
will be no good memories here.”
 
He was
quiet for several seconds before he continued, “Come with me, I want to show
you something.
 
Will you?”

I
was overcome with a jumble of emotions that I couldn’t see my way through but
the only thing I did know was that I felt whole now that he was there.
 
All of that anger and hurt I’d felt about his
secret seemed to wash away now that he was here.
 
He rose from the floor and helped me up.
 
I took a deep breath and realized that I
didn’t care where we went, as long as we were together.
 
As we were exiting the chapel I turned around
to look at Robert’s tomb, “Who is that woman in there with him?”

“His
wife, Lettice Knollys,” Ronan answered.
 

“Why
is she there?” I asked, feeling a surge of anger in my chest, “Elizabeth’s not
happy that she’s there.
 
I got that
distinct feeling the second I saw her.”

“Elizabeth
built this tomb for Robert after his death.
 
Lettice gave instructions that she was to be entered here as well upon
her
death.”

“Impossible,”
I answered emphatically, “Elizabeth wouldn’t have allowed it.”

Ronan
smiled and nodded, “She didn’t.
 
Lettice
died 31 years
after
Elizabeth which
is the only reason she’s buried there.”

I
nodded, my jaw clenched in anger as I looked at the effigy of the woman beside
the man Elizabeth loved.
 
The feeling of
protectiveness I had for Elizabeth and her desires was as deep as anyone could
imagine.
 
The thought of marching
upstairs and demanding her removal from the tomb flickered in my mind and
caused me to almost laugh out loud at my own thoughts.
 
I would have to learn to calm the tantrums of
the demanding soul of the woman that lived within me if I was going to lead a
half way normal life.
  

Chapter
29

U
pon exiting the
church I was vaguely aware of Ronan giving Thomas directions to another
location.
 
“It’s a short drive, I
promise,” Ronan said as he wrapped his arm protectively around me in the car.
 
I melted into him, and didn’t utter a
word.
 
As promised the ride was short and
when Thomas pulled to a stop I looked out the window where the sun gleamed off
a magnificent red colored structure in the distance.
 

“Where
are we?” I asked as Thomas opened the door.

“Kenilworth,”
Ronan answered, reaching for my hand and guiding me from the car.

We
walked hand in hand towards the front gate that was closed.
 
A man ventured from the small box out front
and greeted us, “Ronan!
 
I didn’t expect to
see you today!”

“Hi
William,” Ronan greeted him with a friendly smile, “This is Ellie, I know we’re
late and you’re closed …”

“Of
course, come in,” William said, pushing open the gate for us, “Pleasure to meet
you Ellie.”

I
smiled through my still misty eyes, “You too.”

We
walked hand in hand through the gate which William firmly closed upon our
entry.
 
I looked up at the ruins of the
castle and my heart ached at the site.
 

Ronan
sensed my heartbreak at the site of the rubble that was once Robert’s pride and
joy, “Civil war destroyed it but they’ve worked hard to preserve what was
left,” Ronan offered, as if reading my thoughts.

“Do
you come here a lot?” I asked him.

He
smiled, “Could you tell?”

“The
guard knew you by name which kinda gave you away,” I grinned.

“I
do come here often.
 
It’s the only way he
feels close to her.
 
It calms him, I can
feel it.
 
My recollections of his time
with her here are warm and happy.
 
Even
with the many proposals that she declined.”

“So
that happened here?”

“Yes,
right up there in what would have been her room,” he pointed towards a
collapsed tower and a vacant space that once held a window.”

“She
was happy here,” I said, “She was happy with him.”

Ronan
wordlessly led me into a section of the castle that had been renovated to
portray what the rooms would have looked like during the 16
^th
century.
 
He pushed open the door and
brought us into a large room that held an enormous fireplace and mantel.
 
The marble mantel was elaborately carved and
held the initials R L on the pillars on each side.
 
Above the mantel was an ornately carved dark
wood structure that was fitted above the fireplace.
 
I walked to it, feeling a peculiar lure.
 
I looked up into the wood center and saw a
distinct set of initials, E R.
 
I turned
to Ronan, “What is that for?”

Ronan
looked up and smiled, “Historians think it means Elizabeth Regina but I think
it stands for Elizabeth and Robert.”

I
smiled, of course it did.
 
The historians
had it all wrong.
 

The
setting sun stretched its fading rays through the window in our little room
casting an orange hue across the red brick of the ruins.
 
It was breathtaking and magical.
 
We sat facing each other on the floor before
the fireplace bearing the initials of the people that inhabited a great deal of
our souls.
 
At first she had scared me
and intimidated me with her recollections of her life.
 
But now, as I sat holding Ronan’s hands on
the grounds of this estate that had meant so much to the two of them, I felt a
certain peace that I had never known.
 

“There
is no better place to do this, you know,” he whispered to me, the emotion
evident in his dark hazel eyes.

“I
was so angry at you earlier.
 
So angry
you didn’t tell me,” I answered honestly, “I know you were scared but I want to
know why.”

“I
was afraid you would think my feelings for you were
his
for her.
 
I was afraid of
your reaction,” he answered sincerely, “My mother and Dr. Cross are the only
people that know.
 
It’s hard to always be
remembering someone else’s life, and much harder when that someone has led the
kind of life that he has.
 
I’m sure you
understand.”

“
Are
your feelings for me his?
 
I have to admit, I wonder the same thing
about myself.
 
I’m so drawn to you and
have been from the second I saw you.
 
But
I’m hesitant about what all this means.”

Ronan
pulled my face towards his, his lips gently caressing mine, “Ellie.
 
I have never felt this way about anyone.
 
I’ve told you this and it’s true.
 
I
can’t
promise you that it’s
my
feelings
alone that drive this need for you but I can tell you that I love you.
 
I love you as Ellie Regan and no one
else.
 
And I will tell you this; there
will never be another man that will love you as I do.
 
Because like it or not, I’ve had nearly 500
years to do it.
 
I can’t change that, and
honestly, I don’t want to.
 
Are we
cursed?
 
Possibly.
 
But if that curse led me to you then I’m
better for it.”

Tears
streamed down my face, “How is this possible?”

“Maybe
all of it, your trip to Lily Dale and meeting Mona, Jess’ trip here and your
visit to the tower were all part of our destiny.
 
After all, Robert demanded it be so, didn’t
he?”

I
smiled through my tears, my heart overflowing with love for him, “Destiny,
huh?”

Ronan
kissed me again, “You’re over thinking it.”

I
laughed at his familiar words, “What are we going to do now?”

Ronan
pulled away from me, his eyes filled with a devotion that seemed otherworldly,
“Ellie Regan, I have nothing to give you, and this certainly wasn’t planned but
… will you marry me?”

“Yes!”
without hesitation I cried through my tears, “Yes!”
 
My hands buried in his hair as I held his
lips to mine.
 
All was as it should be,
and as right as everything was, there was still something missing.
 
I pulled away from him and offered him a
smile.
 
Slowly, I took his right hand and
placed it on my heart and drew his head towards mine again, “Now… ask her.”

Wordlessly
Ronan smiled.
 
My heart hammered beneath
his gentle hand and as he spoke the words I closed my eyes and gave myself
completely to
her
.
 
“Elizabeth, my love,” Ronan whispered, “Will
you marry me?”

I
felt as if an explosion of bright light filled my soul.
 
I was immediately back at Hatfield where
Elizabeth and Robert relaxed on a blanket in the sun.
 
Nearby was the large oak that would soon play
a part in how Elizabeth would change the history of her country.
 
Their laughter carried on the wind of the
barren fields surrounding them.
 
I could
clearly see his dark eyes as he leaned over her, brushing her hair away from
her youthful face.
 
His skin was bronzed
and held a handsome glow.
 
“What will I do
when you are queen and I can’t see you as I do now?”

She
laughed, her dark eyes filled with love, “When I am queen you can see me
whenever you wish.”

Robert
hovered above her, his lips inches from hers, “When you are queen you will
belong to your country.”

Her
pale slender fingers brushed against his lips, “I will always belong to you, my
Robert.”

Robert’s
lips brushed hers, “Then marry me Elizabeth, be mine for eternity.”

He
pulled away and gazed down at her.
 
As
she returned his smile, I could feel her heart nearly bursting with a love that
would last until the end of time, “Yes, Robert.
 
I’ll marry you.
 
I’ll be yours …
for eternity.”