Wake Me Up (Love Knows No Boundaries) (18 page)

“No, you’re the best.” It’s all I can say.

I avoid Aiden’s eyes as I crawl in
to bed next to him. I have to go home. Chloe needs me. My dream with him has come to an abrupt end.

~*~

I wake up screaming.

“Sweetheart, you’re safe.” I hear the words as another scream builds up in me.

Aiden’s mouth covers mine and I taste him.

Aiden.

I reach for him and feel his skin under my hands. Frantically I grab for him, his face, his chest, his arms, everywhere I can touch him.

My
breaths are torn gasps of need. I need to know he’s real. I need to know he’s alive.

“I’m here,
Emma,” he whispers against my mouth. “You’re safe.”

I wrap my arms and legs around him and hold on tightly, and I breathe him in.

I wake up that way. I’m on top of Aiden with my arms tightly around him and my knees tucked up next to his waist. I can’t feel my hands. They are dead.

I lift my head and drag my arms
out from under him. I have an awful feeling in my stomach. I start to get off him, and his arms tighten around me.

“Just a little longer
,” he mumbles with his eyes closed.

“We have to talk,” I murmur
. I know what the awful feeling is.

It’s the fact that he’s solved this case and he’ll be moving on to whatever the next one is.
It’s the fact that I have to leave. It’s the fact that our lives are now at crossroads.

“We do,” he agrees.

He rolls us onto our sides so that we are lying face to face, but I can’t do this facing him, and I tuck my head in under his chin.

“Tell me what you dreamt
about?” he asks, before I can get my bearings together on where to start the talk.

“Just a nightmare,” I say, trying to get around talking about it.

“No. Not the way you were screamin’,
Emma. This was different to the others you had before. Tell me,” he pushes.

“You. It was about you. Just let it be. We
need to talk about other things.” I try to steer the subject away from the dream.

“What did
I do in your dream,” he asks, not letting it go.

“You die
d. I know it’s just a dream. So, when are you going home? Where is home exactly?” I just jump into the next subject – the problem at hand.

“I’m not gonna d
ie, Emma,” he whispers. “Just cause I’m a cop, you can’t go worryin’ about that. I could get run over by a car while I’m out running just as easily. I’ll go when it’s my time, whether it’s old age, someone else’s hand or lightnin’.”

I nod
, and swallow hard on the lump in my throat. He’s right.

“We
have to wrap things up tomorrow with the office here, before we report back in South Carolina to our own department. We were only helping, like a loan kinda thing, because they couldn’t use their own guys, with them being recognizable and all, and it being part of our case. We work the Lyman and Duncan area.” He takes a breath and I steel myself. “We’ll be heading back on Tuesday.”

I nod. I’m nodding.

“How far is it from here?” I whisper.

“Ab
out two hundred and twenty miles,” he says, and he tries to pull me back, but I dig in deeper under his chin.

“How many hours is that?”
I clear my throat.

“It’s just shy of a four hour drive,” he explains.

“Oh.” I deadpan.

“I was thinking
we could drive through today, so I could show you where I’m from. You can meet my folks, if you’re up for it.” Silence follows his suggestion.

The seconds tick over into minutes. I’m counting seconds and minutes
, and I should be thinking about what he just said. I should be telling him I’m going home.

“Alright
,” I agree, because if we stay here I might go mental. I’ll go and meet the people who raised him. I’ll see what a loving family is like. I’ll get one last piece of him before I leave.

~*~

Chapter Sixteen

Aiden~

She doesn’t look like she’s been through hell. She doesn’t look like she’s in shock. She
just looks sad. We’re minutes from my place. I thought it would be good if we stopped here first, before going through to my folks.

She’s chewing on her lip, and I can understand she’s nervous, but not why she’s sad.

“Things won’t change,
Emma,” I break the silence that’s killing me. “I’m gonna drive through to see you every weekend. I don’t like the idea of you being alone during the week, but for now we have to make do.”

She starts shaking her head
, and then looks out the window.

I keep quiet and concentrate on getting us to my house before I
have an accident. I pull up in the drive and she takes deep breaths.

“It’s my place. We’re
stopping here first. No folks yet. Relax.” I smile at her, but her eyes go huge instead.

“Yours?” s
he squeaks.

I park the car
, and watch her closely as she stares at my home.

“It’s not going to bite you,
Emma. It’s just a house.” I try to put her at ease.

I get out and walk around the car to open her door. When I do
, she gets out slowly and steps away from me.

“Your garden is
… exquisite,” she says, as she glances around at the aloes and cycads I have spaced out between rock gardens.

“Thank you. It’s a hobby.” I want to reach for her
, but she takes another step away, as if on instinct, and walks around me, looking at the house. It’s a two story I’m still trying to make my own.

When I open the door she smiles nervously. It feels like I’ve lost her
, and my heart clenches painfully. She waits in the foyer, looking up at the stairs. I hate that she’s uncomfortable in my home.

“
Emma.” Her name comes out a groan. The past week has just been too much. “Tell me what you’re thinkin’.”

She glances at me
, and then back into the house.

“I wasn’t expecting this. I was expecting to meet your parents
… to have other people around us.” She murmurs the last part and I almost don’t catch it. “This is your home,” she swallows, “you have a home.”

I’m so missing something here.

“Is there something wrong with me havin’ a home?” The second I finish the sentence I realize what’s wrong. I’m really a dumbass. “Don’t answer that,” I say quickly and move in on her. “Emma, it’s just a house. A home is about the people in it.” I need to keep quiet, I’m making this worse.

“I know
, and it’s great that you know where you’re heading in life and that you have a home and that -” she shudders a breath and steps back, away from me and into the wall. “And I’ll never be able to tell you how much the time you’ve given me means to me.” I want her to stop.

I place
my hands next to her head and lean in. “Don’t say it. We’ll find a way.”

She says it anyway.
“I have to go back. I can’t study further. My visa is only valid if I’m actually attending the university.”

I frame her face and press my forehead against hers.
There’s a twisting in my gut. I have to get her to stay.

“I’ll fix your visa
. We’ll get it changed. You can’t go back, not to that.” I’m a second away from begging her. I can’t protect her if there’s an ocean between us.

“I have to,” she whispers. “I don’t know where my life is going. I have to start working as well. I can’t k
eep studying and I can’t work here. I have to go back to my own country. This is not my country. I don’t fit into your world. You’re way ahead of me. The gap is too big.”

“We will find a way to bridge the gap. We started our relationship backwards
, and now that everythin’ is clearin’ out of the way and we can start with the normal, now you want to go?” I ask. It’s starting to sink in. She’s really doing this.

“How do we bridge this gap, Aiden? You’re the law. My visa should’ve been revoked already, the second my mother cut me
off. One of the requirements for a visa is finances, another is me actually having to study. I’m not studying, and my mother cancelled the credit card weeks ago, so this …” her voice starts to tremble, and I move in as close as I can.

“It’s all things I can take care of
, if you’d just let me,” I try again.

She
stares at me, and I can see there’s something she’s not telling me. Then she nods, but I don’t feel better, because her eyes are still telling me goodbye.

~*~

I watch her every move as we walk through the house. She stops in the den and looks up at the high ceiling. It’s my favorite room. I have my office just up the stairs, so I can come straight down here. I hardly use the rest of the house.

She walks over to the fireplace and trails her hand over the statue of the eagle I have there.

“Did you have the speakers built into the walls, or did you buy it like this?” It’s the first question she’s asked about the house.

“It came with the built-in surround sound system. I think I took it just for this room,” I answer
, and she turns around, looking up again.

“Is that your office?”

She was bound to see it.

“Yes, for when I’m home.”

Her expression changes and I glance up. “You have books,” she says, and starts toward the stairs.

“I do,” I say. If I’d
known books were the key to breaking the ice, I would’ve taken her straight to my office.

She can speed-climb stairs too. 

I was wrong. That thing I said about Emma’s expression when she saw the eagle being imprinted in my memory as the best one. I was so wrong.

She slows down when she reaches the top stair
, and she changes before my eyes. Her features become more delicate and gentle. She softly touches the spine of each book.

“You have Edgar Allen Poe,” she whispers
, and the awe is unmistakable. “Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality,” she quotes Poe. “You didn’t tell me you read.”

“Most of
them were Laurie’s,” I say, and the bubble she was in pops. “Zac isn’t much of a book lover, so I took them. She loved books. You would’ve liked her.” I can see the questions in her eyes but Emma doesn’t ask. She never asks, or talks about something she thinks is painful. She’s good at avoiding.

“Zac and Laurie
were married for four years. They met at the station. Laurie was going up the stairs and he was coming down when he stopped her. First time he ever saw her. Right there he told her he was going to marry her.” I watch Emma’s eyes. She starts to blink faster. “They got married three weeks later.”

“It’s so sad,” she says
.

“No, if they didn’t go and elope they wouldn’t have had their four years together
, and Zac wouldn’t have his memories now. Laurie wouldn’t have died happy. They taught me how precious time is, and how quickly it can be gone.” I take a deep breath and walk slowly towards her. “I almost lost you once. Please don’t make me lose you again. Give me the chance to get to know the real you. You yourself said I’d really like the real you.”

“I was
sloshed that night.” She smiles. I take hold of her hand. I need to touch her. “Aiden, we have a few more days. One way or another I have to go back. Even if I can find work here, I still need to go back first.”

I nod. Now I’m the one nodding.

“I’m scared,” I admit, and it takes a lot for me to utter the words. I hold her eyes with my own, willing her to see all of my fear. “I’m so scared you’ll go back and you’ll learn to survive on your own, without me, because I’ve fallen and I don’t know how to get up without you.”

“No,” she cries the word
, and grabs me to her.

“For the longest time half of m
e was missing. Then that night-” I push her back so I can see her face. Tears roll down her cheeks, “that night we met and you kissed me, I just fell into you. You walked in and the hole was gone. I need to take care of you. I need to touch you. I need to see you. You have to give us a chance,” I beg. I’m begging.

I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have more words. I’ve said everything there is to be said.

~*~

Chapter Seventeen

Emma~

He has broken my heart and now he’s moving on
to my soul. I want nothing more than to stay here with him. I’m not the one keeping us apart. I have to go back for Chloe, but I can’t tell him that. It’s not my place to tell him about Chloe.

We d
on’t go and visit his parents, for which I’m thankful. We go back to the flat and I go to bed early. The call to Chloe, the trip with Aiden – it has all tired me to the bone, but I can’t sleep. I don’t want to dream. I hear him come into my room in the early morning hours, and he gets in next to me. He just holds me tight. We don’t talk.

I almost choke
on my coffee when he comes out of his room all dressed for work the next morning. By dressed I mean holster, gun and badge, too. He slips on a jacket and comes over to me, pressing a kiss on my forehead. And all I can think is ‘this is it’.

Aiden i
s going to walk out the door and go to work.

And here I
have to make the big decision of what I am going to do with mine. I wish I had a mother I could ask advice from. I can’t talk to Chloe about my uncertainties, not while she’s grieving for her mother. I guess it’s time for me to grow up and put on my big-girl knickers.

While Aiden’s at the office
, I go to the university to explain what happened. They understand, but yes, I’ve missed too much. I should rather start fresh the next semester – January.

~*~

“Hello,” Chloe rasps.

“Hey, love. How are you holding up?

“I’m not,” she answers honestly. We made a promise not to lie to each other. I broke mine when I didn’t tell her about the kidnapping.

“I managed to get a flight for Wednesday. Do you want to pick me up and I’ll stay a day with you before I head home?”

“That will be nice. The funeral is tomorrow.” She starts to cry, and all I can do is listen.

“Two more days, Chloe. I’ll be there on Wednesday,” I remind her. “Be strong for me until then.”

“Alright,” she whispers.

I
start cooking dinner for Aiden right after the call. He’s going back to Lyman tomorrow morning. We only have tonight, and then that’s it.

I don
’t have the courage to phone my mother. I’ll wait until I’m home. I’ll face her then.

I hear the door open and
grab the dishcloth, as if it can protect me. I wring it in my hands as I stare at the pots. Maybe this is too much.

His arm slips around me
, and he pulls me against his chest. “You’re making dinner?”

“Yeah,” I nod and my head starts to bob up down like one
of those bobble-head dolls people have in their cars.

“How was your day?” he asks
, and I move away.

I start
checking every pot. The carrots, the peas, and then I glance into the oven at the chicken and potatoes.

“I went to the university. They agree. I’ve missed too much. They were very nice about
it. They recommend I start again next semester.” I try to keep my tone light as I turn to face him. At least he’s put the stuff away. (The badge and
stuff
.) He still looks too professional, though. I feel like I have to curtsey.

“That’s good
, isn’t it? So, then, you just need an extension,” he says, looking somewhat relieved.

“Yeah,” I smile. “Something to drink? How was your day?”

He looks at me until I lower my eyes to his neck. Then he reaches for my hair and tucks it behind my ear.

“I missed you today
. I just want to have a nice evening with you.”

I can play wife for one night. It will be a memory I can call up
, when I’m alone again.

“Why don’t yo
u go take a shower while I finish up here?” I suggest.

His lips graze my cheek and he moves up toward my forehead,
pressing a firm kiss there.

A
iden likes my cooking, and it makes me feel better.

I’ve created this littl
e box of memories deep inside me, and I’m stuffing it full of Aiden.

There is one more memory I’d like before we go our separate ways. Just one.

~*~

After I’ve showered
, I go to look for Aiden. I find him standing in the dark lounge, looking out the window.

“Hey
,” I whisper. I don’t want to disturb the night.

“Hey
, you,” he whispers back, turning to me.

“What
time will you be leaving?” I whisper. I’m starting to get nervous about what I really want to do. I don’t know how to start it.

“Five.”
Oh, that’s real early.

“Then you
’d better come to bed. You need to sleep. I’ll worry myself sick if you’re driving that road without a proper night’s rest.” I hold out my hand, and I remember the last time I did this.

He looks at my hand and then he takes it. Instead of coming with me
, he tugs me back toward him, until I’m standing in front of him.

“When are you leavin’
?” he asks, and I close my eyes. I can’t lie to him. I thought I was doing so well. “I’m not stupid, Emma. I feel the goodbye when it’s hitting me in the gut.”

I drop my head to his chest
, and I ugly-cry like I did the other night, because this hurts so very much. I make sounds no woman should make in front of a man, but parts of me are dying, and those sounds are the only way I can voice how it feels.

He holds me
, but he offers no words of comfort. There are none.

When the last broken sigh shudders through me
, he frames my blotched face, and I almost start up again. “Please Emma, will you let me make love to you. Just once,” his voice cracks and I glance up. There’s a tear hanging on his lashes.

I stand on my toes and pull him down, and I kiss it away.

~*~

I lead him to my room. I will never find another being more in sync with me. This is the one memory I want.

Aiden lets go of my hand when we reach the bed, and brushes the tips of his fingers over my waist, toward my hips. He squeezes lightly before his fingers slip under the hem of the shirt, and he starts to drag it up and over my head. The air is cool on my skin. He moves down in front of me as he slips my slacks off.

He’s seen me naked before
, but tonight feels different, it’s the way he’s looking at me. It’s so tender and fervent. His eyes are focused on only me, he sees only me, and it makes my heart expand.

Looking down at him
, I reach out and trail my fingers over his brow and down the side of his face. He moves back up, slowly, and I let my hand fall to the band of his slacks. I smile as I move down, removing them, and when I come back up I pause to place a kiss on his hip, right where his muscles make that delicious curve from his abs.

For one more night I get to touch him.

His hands take hold of my waist and he leans into me so I have to sit down on the bed. I slide to the middle of the bed, but then he takes hold of my thighs and pulls me back towards him.

T
he look on his face has changed. Those prehistoric birds take flight through my stomach and up to my heart. He moistens his lips and looks at me ravenously. When he leans in closer, I grab hold of the cover, clenching my hands tightly. His fingers dig into the sides of my legs, and he opens them so he can move in between.

My heart races
into my throat, but then he moves his hands up my hips. When he cups my breasts, my arms buckle. He slips one arm behind me and pulls me closer, his other hand melting me as he caresses me.

I manage to pry my fingers from the covers and lift them to his arms. When my fingertips dig into him
, his mouth hovers over mine. I nudge closer and brush my mouth over his.

“You taste so sweet,” he whispe
rs, and my abdomen clenches satisfyingly, “I want to taste you until I can’t taste myself any more.”

Oh please, yes.

But instead of kissing me, he moves down to my chest, and I’m sure he can feel my heart pounding against his lips as he kisses the curve of my breast.

The first time with him was an experience I’ll never forget.
Although it was naïve and insignificant compared to what I’m feeling now, it was still my first. Then it was about getting Aiden to be the one, just making sure it happened and the guilt afterwards, the thought that maybe he didn’t want it as much as I did was hard to bear.

It was just too wham bam, thank you ma’am-ish.

But this, this is how it should’ve been. How it should be.

“I’m enamored with you,
Emma,” he whispers against my stomach.

I said I wouldn’t, but I can’t hold back the words.
“I love you, Aiden,” I whisper, barely audible to myself.

H
is head snaps up. “What did you say?” His eyes darken and I shake my head fast. I’ve gone and bodged it up. He moves up and cups my face, the look in his eyes desperate. “Please say it again.”

I let my eyes drift over his face. He looks starved.

“I love you,” I whisper breathlessly, my heart pounding in my ears.

He crushes his mouth to mine. His arm
slips around me, moving me to the middle of the bed, where he covers me with his warm body. I soak up his warmth while we kiss, our tongues twisting hungrily.

He breaks away and moves down again, trailing hot kisses over my breasts.
It feels heavenly. His hands settle on my thighs, and my body starts to hum with need. He slides both his hands up, his fingers fanning wide when he gets close, and suddenly I have a heartbeat everywhere. He presses down more as his hands move up over from my legs to my abdomen, and he brushes over
me.

I should be embarrassed by the moan slipping out
, but he doesn’t give me time to ponder it. I should close my eyes when he pins mine with his eyes, but I can’t. His hand moves down and over me. When his finger slips in, tingles explode, and I clench my jaw to keep from moaning again. He leans down, and our heavy breaths mix as he makes that maddening sensation build inside me.

“Aiden,” I whimper for him to do something, anything, to get me to that point where my body
fragments into a million pieces. I close my eyes and every sense I have zeroes in on him, hums around him.

His places
hot kisses all over my body, leaving scorching trails in its wake. Then his hand moves away.

“
A…a” I mean to say his name, but as he settles against me the whimper becomes a gasp.

I feel his breath on my jaw
, and then on the corner of my mouth.

“
Emma,” he whispers. I open my eyes as he takes hold of my hips. “You’re everythin’ I’ll ever want.”

He doesn’t go in fast like the first time. His lashes lower and his muscles
tighten under my hands.

The feeling gets
to be too much, and I slip my hands up, digging my nails into his back. I need more of him. He closes his eyes and his body jerks against mine, into me.

He c
lenches his teeth, grinding them. I lean up and kiss his jaw, trying to ease him, but that doesn’t seem to be the problem.

“You’re so perfect, dammit,
Emma.” He brings his arms up and frames my head while his eyes jump between my eyes and mouth. He starts to move and my mind clouds over. He takes me to that edge where if I fall, I’ll fragment until it’s only him. “You’re mine,” he breathes against my mouth. “Thank you for giving me something so precious.”

And then hi
s hold on me tightens, and he loses control in the best way possible. I cling to him and I let him take me. I come apart in his arms and he in mine, but we don’t move.

I take every precious second I can get.

~*~