Wake Me In The Future (33 page)

I thought I could suppress half of what I am and just conform, but I wasn't happy. And it was that attempt to conform that led me into having to secretly satisfy that other half of me by having affairs. And then I met Adam and that's when I found myself in love with two people.

He knew about my wife and was happy sharing me, after all, I'd been open with him from the start and he knew the extent of what I could offer. But Julie knew nothing and I knew I had to tell
her
, even though in my mind I wasn't giving
her
any less than I would if I'd
not been seeing Adam
.
I knew it was wrong. But I was frightened of losing her so I delayed
. But I made the stupid mistake of listening to people who thought they knew how I should live and what I needed better than I did.

They made me feel like what I was doing was dirty and wrong somehow, and that I had to make a decision because,
I couldn’t possibly like men and women
, I was confused in their eyes. I’d got to like either one or the other, like nothing else existed, and if I thought different then I was just being selfish and greedy, and I was going to hurt everyone I ever loved. I had to conform to some kind of vision of normality that they had in their heads.’

I lifted my head and looked at Jon as he continued his story.

‘And you know what Richard; I understood my family and friends saying these things to me, most of them were religious to some extent and were influenced by their beliefs, although they were quite happy to accept me if I’d said I was only attracted to men; they just couldn’t accept me for myself.

It was my friends who were only attracted to their own sex that I couldn’t understand having those views. Some of them were just as bigoted as any person that had ever discriminated against them. I don’t think they understood at all what they were saying to me. Making me think the way I am was some sort of disgrace to their sexuality, telling me I was confused and I was really just like them, I was just afraid to admit it. I used to look at them as if they were aliens.

Then one of my so called friends decided they had some sort of moral duty to interfere, their own morals of course. They weren’t concerned so much about Julie not knowing about Adam. They wanted me to make a choice, as if being with more than one person was somehow criminal.

They told me I had to make a choice otherwise they were going to tell Julie about Adam. They were happy to destroy our lives because it didn’t fit into one of their acceptable templates.’

I'd sat up now and was paying attention, wanting Jon to know that I didn’t share the views he said his previous friends had held.

‘What happened Jon?’

‘I decided to tell her myself. I loved and knew her enough to guess how she’d react. But I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t concealing the truth for selfish reasons; I just couldn’t face the possibility of hurting her. But in the event she understood; her only concern was if it meant she’d see me less or I’d love her less.’

‘So they both accepted the existence of each other then.’

‘Not only that, but they eventually became firm friends and we all moved in together.’

‘And what happened to the friends who’d interfered?’

‘They didn’t stay friends for long; Julie and Adam saw to that, they didn’t appreciate anyone interfering in what they considered their business.’

‘But it could have worked out differently, Julie could have left you.’

‘Exactly, but I couldn't have done anything about it. Society had put me in that situation by not accepting my differences and then it tried to make me feel guilty. All I was doing was waiting for the time to put things right; while those around me were constantly trying to tell me they knew how I should live my life.

All I can say Richard is that circumstances have put you in this situation, not any deliberate deception on your part, and it’s up to you to decide when to explain it to the other people involved.'

‘So you told Julie about Adam because it was the right thing to do, and it was going to come out one way or another, and I guess that’s the situation I am in with Helen and Rachel. So I need to talk to Rachel about Helen's possible survival and my feelings.’

‘You’ll know when you’re ready Richard. Hopefully we will find Helen, and if we do you can tell them both how you found yourself in this place. Let them judge the love you’ve got for them and the circumstances that have put you where you are. Perhaps the situation will sort itself out without you having to make a choice. And if either, or both of them decide they can’t live with the situation, then you’ll know. I can’t guarantee your story will end up as happy as mine did, but it will be resolved one way or the other. And that’s what you need right now more than anything Richard; resolution.’

‘So what happened to Julie and Adam then?’ and as soon as I'd asked that I wished I’d not, because Jon’s eyes started to glaze over.

‘9/11 happened; they both worked in the South Tower.’

‘I am sorry Jon,’ then I hugged him and said ‘thank you anyway; you’ve given me some hope and made me feel so much better.’

Later that night I received the info-tablet that had been smuggled to Rachel. This looked different than the ones I’d seen before. It looked like a palm sized black tile. I thought this must be their version of a handheld PDA; they’d been very popular in my time so I was hoping it wouldn’t be too difficult to use.

Just by looking at it I could tell it was far more advanced. It actually looked like a thin piece of smooth black slate, it’s highly polished surface reflecting my inquisitive stare back at me. There was no stylus attached to the side like in my day but at the top an indented circle the size of a one euro coin gave a good impression of a power button. A very good impression as it turned out, because when I reached out to press it the circle raised itself slightly to meet my finger, as if sensing the impending contact.

As soon as I felt the button engage with my finger the device started to grow, it doubled in size and doubled again, and the screen, if you could call it that, was like looking into a box. It gave the impression of great depth and the area it covered was about 12”, even though what I’d initially picked up was no larger than the palm sized mobile phone I used to own. For a fraction of a second as it jumped into life I thought I was going to be presented with the same old operating system that dominated my time and the thought of what state this civilisation would be in, if it had had to rely on that crossed my mind. This amused me and I smiled and thought, ‘
We’ll see how many times I have to re-boot’.

But no operating system appeared; just a blank grey space that looked like I could reach into it but before I could act on that urge Rachel’s smiling face was looking out of the screen.

‘Richard, Jon said you’d be given this message. We were so relieved to hear you were alright and managed to get away from that vile man; Jane and I were going through hell while you were in there. Now you're free we've been confined to my parent’s house. And luckily they've just gone away on a research trip around Mercury, because ever since this blew up they’ve been horrid to both of us. Almost as if we weren’t family. It’s as if we were strangers, Jane is so upset. Let me know what’s going on if you can, otherwise take care darling and send us a message as soon as you can.’

She blew me a kiss and before the image died I could swear I felt the draft from her breath. I began to think of what response I could send. I was certainly glad that her parents were away, I’d not liked them from the start, but I was surprised at how Rachel had said they’d treated them. I wondered how easy it was to divorce your feelings from someone you knew ultimately wasn’t your own flesh and blood. I’d not had any experience, but from my previous life there was a perception that a lot more step-parents were cruel to their children than biological ones. But then again, the saying about blood just wasn’t relevant anymore.

There were only a few more days to go before the culmination of the plan, and if it was successful it could reveal the whole truth about Ramoon’s activities and end his despicable campaign for good. Everyone at the headquarters was being positive and upbeat and in the meantime I’d got my lifeline to Rachel.

The confidences I’d shared with Jon had really helped me too, but I was conscious that I’d not revealed my suspicions about Jane. Somehow I just couldn’t bring myself to put it into words again. But it made my situation a great deal more complex than Jon’s life had ever been.

Yes, just a few more days to go, and if the plan bought success for the protesters, it would probably bring answers for me. The question was - would they be the ones I wanted to hear?

Just a few more days…..

Chapter 36
– Death in the Family

I’d not spoken to my Cryogen friends since before my capture at the library but Jon had assured me they were not under any suspicion, and were safe as long as they kept a low profile. ‘That’s what I’ve instructed them to do,’ he said, ‘they know you’re safe, and although they’re eager to help in any way they can, I’ve asked them not to attempt any further contact until we get in touch.

We’ve lost too many good people, including the librarian, who was one of the essential links in our support group. So right now we have to direct all our focus on getting our hands on the information to bring Ramoon and his people down, before they can do any more damage to what’s left of us original humans.’

I sat in the main conference room around an oval table facing Jon, along with nine or ten other protesters. These were the core organisers and behind me a small crowd of others were standing, milling around and waiting to listen to the discussion that was about to take place.

Jon stood up, and looking around to make it clear he was about to speak, the room fell silent. He began what must have been a well rehearsed explanation of the plan, running through the responsibilities of each of those involved and making them repeat it to ensure they were all fully aware of what, when and how they were to do things. ‘None of us can afford to fail,’ he said, ‘not now we know what’s at stake.’

It was Jon’s own involvement in the plan that made me sit up and stare in disbelief. I’d known they were going to take over a body of one of the high officials but had I just heard right? The official's body that Jon was planning to transmit himself into was Ramoon’s!!

Apparently so, the high official was due to be travelling to India Central in a few days time and as usual he’d
jump
there, leaving his original body unattended, and available for the protesters to set a fix on, before inserting Jon’s consciousness.

He’d then have a matter of a few hours to retrieve the data using Ramoon’s access, and send it back for further transmission to the distributed information services on all the planets. Once that happened, it would be available to everyone, and no one, not even Ramoon, would be able to stop his foul plan from being revealed.

It all sounded like a well thought out plan, certainly more elaborate than the plan I'd used to get access to Ramoon's records, but my brow knitted together as I took the implications of it all in, and I raised my hand; just as I’d been taught at school over a thousand years before. And somehow this didn’t seem so out of place, considering that most of the people in the room were from that time.

‘Err..,’ I muttered as I waved my arm, ‘there’s just one problem with your plan Jon.’

Everyone’s heads turned in my direction and looking surprised and worried Jon said ‘What have you spotted Richard?’

‘Well, from what I gather, you’re the most valuable member of this group and as there’s a risk of this going wrong I don’t think it should be you being transmitted.’

Jon’s shoulders dropped, relieved that I hadn’t just discovered a show stopper in their plan. ‘I would never ask anyone to risk something I wouldn’t risk myself Richard’ he said.

‘I don’t think there’s a person in this room that would ever doubt that Jon. None of us would ever question your commitment to this cause, so there’s no need for you to prove anything. But if there’s any risk that you could be lost, then it’s not a risk worth taking, especially if we don’t need to take it.’

People were starting to nod at this and there were a few murmurs of agreement coming from behind me. I stood up and went on.

‘I suspect anyone could be briefed to do what you’re intending, and as I am the newest member here, I think I am the person you could all afford to lose.’

‘I am not sure-’ Jon started, but he was interrupted by, what I could only describe as a teenager, who sat on his left.

‘Let him finish Jon, he’s speaking a lot of sense.’

‘I’d like to volunteer to undertake this part of the plan,’ I continued, and looking around, said to the rest of the people in the room, ‘if that’s acceptable.’

By now everyone was wholeheartedly behind me, and Jon could see he didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of arguing against my proposal.

‘I am reluctant to let you do this Richard’ he said, then taking a deep breath as if he was about to commit himself to some life threatening decision, ‘but I can see the logic behind what you’re saying, so if it’s ok with everyone else I’ll accept your offer.’

The agreement was unanimous and as the meeting dispersed, a few people came up to me and slapped me on the back and shoulders to show their support and appreciation. I was truly a protester now.
And I am coming after you Ramoon,
I thought.

After everyone had left the room I stayed seated, contemplating what I’d just committed myself to. I was going to be in the body of the person who’d tried to have me destroyed, all I had to do now was memorise my part of the plan….

I felt a little nervous and somehow lonely when I returned to my room but my mood lifted when I found out I’d received another message from Rachel.

Boy did I need it. I’d really been looking forward to seeing her smiling face and hearing news about her and Jane. It couldn’t have come at a better time.

I turned on the device and the smile that was beginning to appear on my face gave way to an almost verbal expression of shock. Rachel was staring back at me with her face full of tears and a forced smile, which told me there was something seriously wrong. My first thoughts were of Jane but before I could react, Rachel’s image began to speak through her sobbing.