Waiting in the Wings (6 page)

“Mind if I cut in?” He inclined his head politely toward Georgette.

“Um. No, go ahead.” I handed Georgette off to Ben, in time to turn around and find myself face-to-face with Adrienne. I couldn’t resist. I know I should have, but those eyes were so captivating they rooted me right to my spot. “Shall we?” I asked.

“Definitely. I was just left for another and could use a boost to

my pride.”

I tried to sound light. “That makes two of us.” I took her hand in mine and wrapped my other arm around her waist. I made sure to leave a little distance between us to be polite. I noticed at that point we were exactly the same height.

Almost reading my mind, with her lips close to my ear,

Adrienne said quietly, “We seem to fit.”

I involuntarily pulled her a little bit closer. “I noticed that too.” As the music played on, the gap between us gradually grew to non-existent and I couldn’t pull my gaze from hers. I was lost. I finally closed my eyes as we swayed to the slow beat of the music, reveling in how wonderful it felt to have my arms around her. As the last notes of the song played out, a feeling of dread washed over me, and I knew that the moment was over. It had been the perfect dance. I opened my eyes, returning to reality. Once the music faded, I became aware of eyes on us. Ben looked concerned, Sienna looked pissed off, and Lanie and Georgette looked triumphant. I’m not sure how Adrienne looked because she abruptly walked away.

As I headed back to the table, I caught sight of her at the bar talking to Craig.

“What the hell was that?” Georgette laughed, wide eyed. She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself. Of course I knew what she was referring to, but it was something I was still unclear on, so how could I possibly explain it to anyone else? So I did what I had to. I played dumb.

“What? You left me for Ben; I had to dance with someone.”

She looked to the sky as if she had a secret. “Seemed like more than a dance to me.”

“Hells yeah, it was,” Lanie said. “Maybe she’s not so straight after all.”

“Who?” Georgette asked. “Age?”

Before we could answer, Craig and Adrienne approached the table and sat back down. I knew at some point I should probably try to talk to her, but this didn’t feel like the right environment.

“So what’d we miss?” Adrienne stirred her second drink.

“The show,” I blurted out. “We were just talking about the show.”

“The show?” she asked. “I thought that was one thing you didn’t want to talk about.”

“Oh, Lanie was talking about the show. Rehearsals for the show,” I stammered weakly. “I told her to shut up.”

“That’s right. She totally snapped at me.” Lanie was having fun with this. “Craig has been a real ball-buster with the schedule though, haven’t you, Craig? But Madison and Todd are total pros. I owe them my firstborn for getting me ready so quick.”

“Just doing my job, kid. But we all need a little relaxation now and then,” Craig said. “Speaking of which, we were thinking of hitting a gay club on our last night in town. Straight friends are invited too, of course.”

“And now that we know you’re family, Jenna, you definitely

have to come,” Kyle said matter-of-factly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adrienne turn and look at me. She seemed somewhat caught off guard by the comment.

I nodded at Kyle, but my face felt hot. “Sounds fun. Let me wait and see how I feel after rehearsal.”

I noticed Adrienne take a last sip of her drink and grab her bag. “It’s late and I better go. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” And without waiting for a response from anyone, she was gone.

What was that about? I decided I at least needed to try to talk to her and make sure things were okay. I said good night to everyone and headed for the door.

It was starting to rain a little. I had an umbrella in my bag, but I didn’t bother. I caught sight of Adrienne halfway down the block. I doubled my pace and jogged up beside her.

“Hey.” I slowed her down with a hand to her arm. “That was a pretty quick exit. Everything all right?” Thunder rolled in the distance.

She paused. She looked thoughtful, turning to face me fully. “You didn’t tell me you were gay.”

Okay, here we go.
“It didn’t come up, I guess.” I took a moment to gather my thoughts. “It’s not like I meant to keep it a secret,

Adrienne. I’m sorry if it upsets you. I didn’t want it to. I guess if we’re being honest, that’s maybe why I didn’t bring it up right away. It was stupid, I know but—”

“It doesn’t upset me. I just didn’t realize. I think if I had—” “Then what? What would you have changed?” I was starting

to feel a little defensive. “Would we not have been friends? Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“No, I just would have handled a lot of things differently.” “Differently how?”

“Like this.” She dipped her head and captured my lips in an unexpected though utterly searing kiss. As she released me, I stared back at her, stunned.

“But you and Ben are—” “Close friends,” she said.

“Close friends,” I repeated slowly, taking in this new information. If Adrienne was a lesbian then my mind had a lot of rearranging to do. Not that I was at all against rearranging.

“Jenna, I’m gay. I thought you knew that. Hell, everyone here knows that.”

“Wow.” I ran my hand through my hair, noticing it was getting wet. The rain was beginning to pick up, but I wasn’t finished with this conversation. I took Adrienne’s hand and pulled her under the awning of a nearby store. For a moment we stared at each other. The dim light from the nearby streetlamp illuminated her face just enough for me to find myself disarmed by the way she was looking at me. I let the fingers of my right hand brush her cheek.

She turned into my hand slightly. “Is this a good idea?”

I leaned in a little and my lips slowly pressed against hers in a soft, lingering kiss. It was a simple kiss, but I felt its results all the way to my toes. As I pulled back, she looked at me, surprised it seemed, before closing her eyes and resting her forehead against mine.

“Jenna,” she began quietly, “I like you a lot, but I’m fully com- mitted to this show, and I’m not sure what I can offer at this point.”

“I’m not asking you for anything. I just know I like spending time with you. Can we start there? No strings, I promise.”

She seemed to consider this for a moment. “I wouldn’t mind us spending some time together. But you have to understand these people look to me as a leader both on and off stage. I have to set an example, and I
have
to be professional about this and remember why I’m here. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for much else. I’ve been down that path and it doesn’t often work.”

I nodded my head, fully understanding her concern. “I think we’re on the same page. Why don’t we play it by ear?”

“We could do that, I suppose. Play it by ear.” Adrienne leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek. “Sweet dreams, Jenna.” She turned and walked back to the hotel. I watched her go and shook my head, marveling at how quickly things could change.

C
hapter
t
hree

I

was exhausted. Beyond exhausted. It was my last day of rehearsal, and I refused to give in to it. There was too much

going on. I popped a multivitamin and got myself dressed. After today, I would be on my own, and I was filled with self-doubt at that prospect. Questions raced through my head. What if I wasn’t ready? What if I got onstage and forgot the two weeks of rehearsal completely? I made a mental list of the things I wanted to go over with Madison that day.

The schedule consisted of some last-minute individualized rehearsal with the dance captains and stage managers followed by the big put-in rehearsal for Lanie and me.

We’d been rehearsing in the theater for the past couple days. Now that I knew the lines, songs, choreography, and the off-stage track to follow, I needed to practice with actual props and scenery. Some of the sets were motorized and others pieces flew in from the open space above the stage. If an actor wasn’t on her toes, she could be seriously hurt by the set itself. There seemed to be so much to remember. I was feeling overwhelmed.

I waited for Lanie in the hotel lobby so we could walk to the theater together. I was getting used to the fact she was always late. Sure, it was part of her charm, but it wasn’t cool to be late to work, and that was what I was about to be. Just as I was giving up on her, I spotted her sprinting from the elevator.

“I’m late, I know. Don’t say anything. Just nod and I’ll know you forgive me and will eventually lose that angry crease on your forehead.”

I nodded. “Let’s get out of here before we’re out of the show we haven’t even debuted in.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she replied with a mock salute.

We increased our usual speed as we walked, hoping to make up the time. I was doing my best to focus on the task at hand and put last night out of my head, but Lanie had other ideas.

“So what exactly happened last night with Adrienne? You guys left kind of abruptly. Let’s just say lots of eyebrows were-a-raising.” I didn’t want to get into it in case Adrienne didn’t want our conversation broadcasted, but at the same time it might be nice to

talk it out with someone “Well, to start with it turns out she’s gay.”

“I’ve heard. The rest of the guys filled me in a little after you

two split last night.”

Wonderful. I could only imagine what type of speculation was going around about us.

“I would think that would make you happy,” she said “but you seem kind of nonchalant about the whole thing. So?”

“So I guess you could say she made it very clear she’s not looking for a relationship, but she didn’t exactly say she was ruling it completely out either. It sounds like she doesn’t like to mix work with her personal life. Maybe it’s burned her in the past.”

“Sienna,” she said simply. “What?”

“Sienna’s her ex. They apparently had a pretty volatile relationship while working on another show together that radiated out to the company. It was a bad situation, and when Adrienne ended it, all hell broke loose. Sienna went crazy with anger and almost lost her job over it. Craig was the SM on the show and says it was hard to be around them during that time period. They’re friends now, but it wasn’t easy for them to get there from what I hear. It’s probably scarred Adrienne. She doesn’t want to go through that again.”

“Whoa. Okay.” Adrienne hadn’t been specific, but this at least clued me in a little bit to an experience she was drawing from. I wanted to talk to her about it and explain that our situation didn’t have to mirror what she’d gone through with Sienna. To begin with, I wasn’t the hateful psychotic Sienna seemed to be.

The rehearsal with Madison and Todd seemed to fly by. I was feeling more confident by the time we finished and was excited to move on to the put-in rehearsal. The three costumes I would wear throughout the course of the show had arrived after being tailored to fit me. It was surreal to put them on along with my customized Alexis wig, which was auburn and a bit shorter than my own hair. As I stood in the girls’ dressing room surveying myself as Alexis, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I didn’t recognize myself, and for the first time, I felt one hundred percent connected to this character. I was ready. The nerves were there, but it was excitement I was experiencing, not fear.

The rest of the cast arrived and got into costume and hair for the rehearsal. We would run it from beginning to end with the goal of not stopping unless something went drastically wrong. Sienna would be resuming her ensemble track now that I was taking over as Alexis. She seemed extra cold today, which could have been because I was taking a role she desperately wanted or quite possibly because she had seen what happened between Adrienne and me the night before. It was hard to say. I didn’t see or talk to Adrienne before the rehearsal began, but I watched from the wings as she sang her opening ballad. I got goose bumps on my forearms as I listened to her. Her voice was the most beautiful I had ever heard and I didn’t think I would ever get used to it, no matter how many times I heard her sing.

Finally, it was my turn to take the stage with the rest of the cast for the fast-paced group number. It was energizing to finally have everyone else dancing alongside me, as opposed to just Lanie in rehearsal. It was cool to feel it all come together and to be a part of that.

My first scene with Adrienne was a little nerve-racking. I respected her so much as an actress and I didn’t want to embarrass myself or not hold my own in the scene. For the first half of the show, Alexis was Evan’s sidekick, her best friend, and confidant. It was important that we had a comfortable chemistry. However, three minutes into the scene, I was concentrating more on the logistics of the show, the blocking, the light cues, and making sure I was at the

right place at the right time. It was Adrienne’s hand on my forearm coupled with her character’s genuine laughter in response to one of my funnier lines that reminded me I was supposed to feel as well as hit my mark. When I realized she was purposefully trying to pull me into the scene, all the small details faded into the background, and I made the relationship of these two women matter most.

But there was a lot to remember, and I made several key mistakes. One of the biggest was missing an important cross that got me out of the way of a set change. Without missing a beat, Adrienne took me by the hand and guided me to where I needed to be on the stage. She could have let disaster strike, delay the set change, and let me hear about it in notes later. I’d worked with a lot of actors who would have taken that route, a trial by fire mentality, but instead she’d backed me up.

During what would be intermission, I changed my costume and hairstyle to reflect the passage of time in the show. I grabbed a bottle of water and had a few minutes left before Act II was to begin. I decided to stop by Adrienne’s dressing room. I felt she’d gone out of her way to make this an easy process for me out there, and I wanted to let her know I had noticed.

The door was open so I poked my head inside. Adrienne was sitting at her dressing table as the show’s wig mistress made some final adjustments to Evan’s Act II hair. Ben was sitting on her couch laughing at something she had said. Adrienne smiled along with him.