Waiting for You (20 page)

“I get it.” Karise thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know if
I’ve ever had a home of my own. I’m starting to realize how much I
want that.”

“You haven’t?”

“I went from living with my parents, to living in a dorm, to living
with William – and that was decidedly his home. I want to decorate a
house, my house.”

“Any thoughts on where that house will be?” Kate asked, her voice
tinged with hope.

“I’d like to stay in the area,” Karise conceded. “I’m not sure I know
much more than that at the moment.”

“Oh, come on,” Kate persisted. “You have to give me something
more than that. I’m dying to know – how’s it going with Zoe? The men
can giggle about the goats all they want; I want to hear what it’s like staying at Aidan’s.”

“Zoe’s good. We got off to a rough start, but I think things are really
good now. You’ll have to tell me what you think tonight.” Karise glanced
around to be sure they were really alone before lowering her voice and
confessing, “I told him I loved him last night, as we were getting off the
phone. It just kind of slipped out.”

Kate did a little happy dance, ending it by giving Karise a hug. “What did he say?”

“Nothing. I mean, I said it as I was hanging up. I didn’t even realize
I’d said it at first. For all I know, he didn’t even hear it.”

“He heard it,” Kate blurted.

“He told you?” Karise was incredulous. “Why do you even bother
asking me? Why not just tell me you know and demand I spill it?”

“My way’s more fun.”

“For who? Sadist.”

Kate did another little dance and laughed. “He woke me up at five
this morning. I think he over-thought all night, poor guy. He wanted to know what I thought about it all.”

“What did you tell him?”

“To sweep you off your feet and never let you go.”

“Very funny. What did you tell him?”

“Why ask if you’re not going to believe me? You’re hopeless.”

“I’ve been getting that a lot lately.”

“So?” Kate looked at her expectantly.

“So, what?”

“So, do you love him? Did you mean it or was it the wine?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Karise taunted.

“Now who’s the sadist?”

Karise didn’t relent. Sure, there was a piece of her that got some
twisted pleasure out of Kate’s torment, but mostly she just wasn’t ready
to say it out loud yet. Besides, when she was ready to give her feelings
voice, she thought Aidan should be the one to hear it.

After the friends had parted ways, Karise stopped by her cottage
before heading back to Aidan’s. She walked through the door and
stood in front of her mother’s urn, hands on hips. She regarded the
object for a moment, her jaw set defiantly.

“It wasn’t me; it was you. Wasn’t it?”

Silence hung heavy in the air.

"For so many years, I thought it was me who broke up Devon and
Alex’s family, me you left. But it had nothing to do with me. What
happened to you? What made you so broken inside? Did you ever love
anyone but yourself? Did you even love yourself?”

More silence.

“I’m really pissed at you, Mom. Yeah, there, I said it. I’m furious
at you. I know you can’t fix it, but I thought you should know.” Karise
gave a little nod, straightened her shirt and left.

KARISE’S TIRES SQUEALED
into the preschool parking lot before she sheepishly tapped on the brakes.
Great, I’m the jerk who drives like an idiot around small children
, she thought as she put the car in park.
She was racing the clock, but at least the house was once again spotless.
If Joe had noticed anything amiss in the barn, he had the courtesy not
to mention it. Karise didn’t know him well enough to know if he was a courteous kind of guy. Either way, she was relieved.

After signing Zoe out of school – amidst curious stares from the
staff
–
Karise
headed
over to
Kate’s
for dinner. The
meal
was scrumptious,
which made it worth the questions Kate peppered her with every time
Zoe was out of earshot.

Joan and Mason were home for a change, adding another layer to
the evening. Karise enjoyed the couple; they were delightful people. But
the art of making conversation with anyone she didn’t know well was
more than her brain could take at the moment. More than anything,
she wanted to go home, or rather, to Aidan’s. The moment Karise felt
she could politely excuse herself, she did.

Karise was helping Zoe with a bath when her cell phone rang. It was Devon, sounding happier than she’d heard him in a long time.

“You’re going to be an aunt again!” He didn’t wait to make his
announcement.

“Really? The adoption is moving forward?” Karise put the lid down
on the toilet so she could sit. Zoe watched her with interest.

“We’re adopting siblings – two girls and a boy.”

“Wow. That’s amazing. How old?”

“Eighteen months, three and five.”

Karise was pretty sure Devon would burst with pride or excitement
soon. Personally, she couldn’t imagine multiplying Zoe by three. “Jane
is probably beside herself. When? How soon?”

“She’s ecstatic. They said it could take up to eighteen months, but
I’m trying to move things along faster. My attorney says she’s fairly
certain we can speed that up.”

“I hope so. I would think that kind of wait would be agonizing.”

“They say we can use the time to bond with the children at the
orphanage.”

Karise thought of how hard it was going to be for her, leaving tomorrow, not being the one to give Zoe her bath. This was after two
days with a child she wasn’t adopting. She couldn’t fathom how hard
the wait would be on Devon and Jane. She could, however, begin to
understand why Jane was going to such lengths to be a mother.

Karise listened as Devon talked about the pending adoption and
their plans to get the house ready for so many additions. She liked
hearing him happy. When she hung up the phone, she shared the news
with Zoe, who seemed excited to hear that Karise’s brother was going
to be a dad, even if she didn’t know Devon.

“Alright, kiddo, you have a couple of choices before you call it a night. First, popcorn or cookies?”

“Daddy says no cookies before bed.”

“Didn’t realize that, but the offer’s already on the table so it’ll just
be our little secret, just this once.”

Zoe’s eyes danced with delight as she whispered. “Cookies.”

“My kind of girl.” Karise nodded approvingly. “Second, movie or
books?”

Zoe’s brow furrowed in thought. “Both?”

“How about one short book and an episode of
Scooby Doo
?”

“Deal.” Zoe smiled, pleased with her end of the bargain.

Karise snagged them a couple of the cookies she’d baked that
afternoon and followed Zoe to her room. She took a bite of a cookie
while Zoe chose her book. It was pretty good if she did say so herself.
It was also the readymade break-and-bake kind, but Karise wasn’t going
to let that keep her from feeling a sense of accomplishment.

She sat on Zoe’s bed, leaning against the headboard with Zoe
snuggled up against her, alternating between eating her cookies and interrupting Karise to tell her what was coming up next in the book.

Clyde’s deep, rumbling
woof
alerted Karise someone was there a moment before she heard a car coming down the driveway.

“Stay here, sweetie.” Karise rose from the bed, her eyes scanning for some sort of a weapon as she headed for the front door. Seeing
none, she decided she’d just have to trust Bonnie and Clyde to eat
any unwelcome guests. She peeked out the front window, letting out a tiny squeal of delight when she saw who their intruder was. “Zoe, come here!”

The little girl rounded the corner just as her daddy opened the front door. There was nothing tiny about her squeal as she flew into
Aidan’s arms. He lifted her off the ground as her skinny arms wrapped
so tight around his neck that Karise wondered how he could still breathe.
As she watched the pair embrace, Karise again thought the woman
who’d left them was a fool. She also realized how special it was that they
were willing to let her in.
Gifts
like that
weren’t
meant to be
squandered
.

Karise couldn’t help wondering if he’d read her thoughts when
his eyes met hers. What she saw there made her stomach flutter. She
remembered Kate’s words:
He heard
. Knowing that didn’t help her
decipher what she saw now, although maybe it would have if her
nerves hadn’t been such a jumble.

Understanding how much Zoe needed this time alone with Aidan,
Karise offered him a smile, mouthed the words “Welcome home,” and
slipped into the kitchen to clean up their dinner dishes. She was happy
beyond words to see Aidan home but also a touch sad to be going home.
She’d just loaded the last dish when Aidan joined her in the kitchen. She straightened and turned, preparing what to say as she did.

He was so disheveled, so handsome, her breath caught. He strode
across the kitchen, catching her up in his arms and kissing her as if it
had been the only thing on his mind all day. It was the kind of kiss
she could lose herself in, and it was over as quickly as it had begun,
leaving her chest heaving and the rest of her longing for more.

“Zoe wants you to finish reading her story.”

She smacked his chest. “Why did you do that to me? How am I
supposed to go read a book to your daughter now?” she whispered
fiercely.

“Same way I got through a grocers’ convention today.” His grin was wicked. “Besides, I couldn’t wait one more second to do that.”

Karise could think of about a hundred things she wanted to do
to him right then, but she could hear Zoe calling for them. She took
Aidan’s hand, gave his fingers a soft nip more to torment him than
anything else, and pulled him along behind her.

“So, uh, what’s this I hear about cookies in bed?” Aidan asked
playfully as they entered Zoe’s room.

“You told on me,” Zoe and Karise accused in unison.

Aidan
l
aughed
. “Ha! Caught you. Nobody told – I saw the
crumbs
.”

“That’s not right.” Karise shook her head reproachfully.

“You’re sneaky,” Zoe accused.

“I can’t leave you two girls alone for a minute, can I?”

“Nope.” Karise reclaimed her earlier seat on Zoe’s bed. “So I guess
you’d better not leave anymore.”

“Yeah, nope,” Zoe mimicked Karise’s expression.

Aidan sat on the foot of the bed, regarding them both with amusement.
“I might have created a monster letting you guys spend time together.”

“You should be very afraid,” Karise warned, opening the book to
the spot where they’d left off before his arrival. It was hard to concentrate
on the story with Aidan’s eyes glued to her. Karise could feel him
watching her mouth as the words tumbled from them. She managed to finish the story only to have Zoe argue for a later bedtime when it was over. Karise gave Zoe a kiss on top of her head then slipped out
of the room and left him to the parenting. That was the perk of not
being mom, after all.

By the time Aidan won the dispute and tucked Zoe in, he found Karise curled up on the couch with Clyde.

“I’ve lost you to my dog, haven’t I?”

“I’m pretty sure I fell for the dog first.”

He smiled, leaning against the counter and folding his arms while
he watched her. “As long as I’m somewhere in the mix.”

“You are,” she promised. “You’re also back early.”

“I wanted to root out any sailors who might be lurking about.”

Karise nodded. “Surprise attack, very sneaky.”

“I’m smart like that.”

She almost responded that it was one of the things she loved about
him but caught
herself
. A wave of shyness overtook her. She smiled instead
before turning her attention back to Clyde to hide her embarrassment.

Aidan grew serious. “The truth is, I couldn’t wait another day to see you. I missed you. And I thought maybe we should talk.”

Her stomach tightened and panic flared. For the first time it occurred
to her he might not feel the same way she did. Karise rose from the couch and set about picking up her things, preparing to run as fast as
she could to solitude. “You had a long flight; you’ve got to be exhausted.
We can talk tomorrow.”

“What just happened?” Aidan straightened; his brow furrowing.

“What? Nothing happened.”

“No, something definitely just happened. What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything,” she rushed to reassure him. “I… I just…
I just kind of panicked.”

Aidan met her in the middle of the room, reaching out to take her
hands in his. “I didn’t mean to cause a panic. I guess I’m going about this all wrong.”