Waiting for You (7 page)

“Don’t you agree?”

She blinked up at Evan. “What?”

She’d been so distracted by thoughts of Jake that she’d completely forgotten to pay attention to the man sitting across from her.

Which was the reason she’d said yes to this lunch date. Because she didn’t want to be distracted by Jake anymore. She wanted to erase him from her thoughts, her memories, her dreams—every corner of her brain.

If she wanted a chance at a real relationship, she had to put her feelings for Jake behind her. The two of them obviously weren’t meant to be, and the sooner she accepted that, the better.

“So, don’t you agree?” Evan asked again.

“Agree with what?”

“That men and women jump into bed too fast these days. I mean, whatever happened to courtship?”

She finished her last bite of dessert. “Actually, I think men and women should jump into bed whenever they’re ready to. If you’re attracted to someone, what’s wrong with acting on it?”

He stared at her, open-mouthed. “I…well, when you put it that way…there’s something to be said for that point of view. I mean…if the chemistry is there and two people respect each other—”

As she listened to Evan reverse direction so fast he must have gotten whiplash, she wondered if she should go on a second date with him. She didn’t feel any of the chemistry he was talking about, but that was part of her problem. Her expectations for chemistry were set way too high.

Like Beth had said, she’d never find the right guy if she didn’t look for him. She needed to put herself out there. Be more open, less picky.

So she agreed to go on a second date with Evan, this one for dinner on Friday night. They made their plans and said goodbye, and then she went to keep her appointment with a prospective client.

She’d gotten an email query from someone named Mark Hayner about setting up a web page for his start-up custom motorcycle business. The fact that he built motorcycles reminded her of Jake, and for one brief second she’d considered turning the guy down.

But if she did that, she’d be letting Jake affect her work—and he’d already affected too many parts of her life. So she exchanged a few emails with Mark, just to get a sense of what he was looking for, and then they arranged to meet in person since he was local.

She was early for the appointment, which was at a coffee shop in town, so she let the waitress seat her at a booth and ordered a cup of tea. She opened the portfolio she’d brought and laid out a few samples of design concepts she thought might work. She also opened her laptop to display the mockup she’d prepared for the meeting.

When she sensed someone standing beside her, she glanced up.

It was Jake.

Chapter Five

This was a side of Erin he hadn’t seen yet—the successful businesswoman who’d started her own web design company. She was looking professional in gray slacks and a white silk blouse, her laptop on the table in front of her and sample web pages spread out beside it.

She also looked gorgeous. Her pale blonde hair was loose around her shoulders, and with that rosy blush staining her cheeks, she was easily the most beautiful woman in Iowa—if not the entire country.

“Hi,” he said, sliding into the booth across from her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting Erin Shaw of Erin Shaw Designs, to discuss the possibility of hiring her to create a website for my new business.”

She stared at him. “You…you’re Mark Hayner?” Her cheeks flushed again, this time with anger. “I can’t believe you set me up like this. You made up a fake name to—”

He shook his head. “Not guilty. Mark is a real guy, and he’s my partner. He owns the machine shop and the garage where I’ll be doing the work. We’ll each put up half the capital—if we actually go ahead with the idea.”

He leaned forward. “And if we do, we’ll need a website. I showed Mark some of the sites you designed and he agreed with me that you’re the one for the job.”

She looked at him for a minute, and then closed her laptop. “No. No way. I’m not working with you, Jake.”

“Why not?”

She stared at him. “You really need me to spell it out for you? Fine. I don’t want to work with you because I don’t want to be reminded of the last time we met.”

She started to gather up the glossy web pages, and he put a hand over hers to stop her. She froze, and he let her go immediately.

“Okay, look. You wouldn’t return my calls. I knew if I used my own name you wouldn’t meet me, so I used Mark’s. We really do want you to design a website for us, but I also wanted a chance to talk to you. To tell you how sorry I am about what happened that night.” He hesitated. “I had no business making a move on you. I’m not up for anything romantic right now, and I shouldn’t have crossed that line. All I can say in my defense is that you’re pretty damn hard to resist.”

If she liked hearing that, she didn’t show it. She wasn’t showing much of anything at the moment. She was sitting back with her arms folded, a slight frown on her face as she listened to him.

He took a deep breath. “I’m not looking for a relationship, but I could use a friend. There aren’t that many people I feel like spending time with these days, and you’re one of them.”

He stopped talking then, and waited to hear what she would say.

She didn’t say anything for a minute. She looked down at the table, biting her lip, and he told himself not to look at her mouth. Looking at her mouth was what had gotten him into trouble in the first place.

Finally she met his eyes again. “Let’s start with the website.”

It wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but it was a start. “Fair enough. Why don’t you stop by the garage sometime? If you come Friday around five o’clock, Mark and I can show you around and then take you to dinner. A business dinner,” he added with a smile.

“I can’t Friday. I have a date.”

It was like a punch in the gut, completely unexpected.

“A date,” he said, trying to sound unconcerned. “Good for you.”

It shouldn’t bother him. Hadn’t he just finished telling her he wasn’t looking for a relationship?

He cleared his throat. “So, who’s the guy?”

Erin studied him for a moment. Her gray eyes were serious, and he was reminded of how seriously she’d always taken life as a kid. She never blew anything off, never left a job unfinished…never let anyone down who was depending on her.

Any man would be lucky to have her in his life. Hell, a guy who had a chance with Erin Shaw was the luckiest man on the planet.

She didn’t answer his question. “Like I said before, let’s stick with the website. I don’t want to talk about my love life with you. Okay?”

Because he’d been looking at her so closely for the last few minutes, he saw when the hint of vulnerability came into her expression.

She was protecting herself. From him.

Which was a smart move on her part. Wasn’t that the reason he’d turned her down that night? To protect her?

Getting her to meet him today had been selfish. He wanted her friendship for his sake, not for hers. It might be better for Erin if he stayed out of her life.

But the thought of not seeing her again made his heart tighten in his chest—a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

The truth was, he hadn’t felt much of anything in a long time. And selfish or not, he wasn’t willing to let go of the one person in his life who could make him feel something that didn’t belong in a nightmare.

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s okay.” He looked down at the web pages. “Should I look at this stuff now, or—”

She shook her head and started gathering up the pages again. “No, not now. Let’s reschedule this meeting, all right? Maybe I could come by the garage sometime next week, to see your work and to meet Mark.”

“That makes sense.”

“I’ll call you Monday to set something up.”

She gathered everything together and put it in her leather portfolio, and then stood up with the portfolio over one shoulder and her laptop case over the other.

The hint of vulnerability was gone now. She looked cool and professional, like she was already thinking about her next meeting. Jake remembered the way she’d trembled in his arms that night, the way she’d arched her head back so he could kiss her throat.

He got to his feet, too. “Can we shake on it?”

She held out her hand, and he covered it with his. They stood like that for a second, and when her face turned pink he felt a rush of male satisfaction he had no right to feel.

Erin wanted to keep him at arms’ length, and he agreed wholeheartedly with that decision.

But at his deepest, most primitive level, he was glad he could still bring that flush into her cheeks.

***

A week later, Erin stood looking up at the weather-beaten sign advertising Hayner’s Garage. Below it was a glass door leading into a cramped and cluttered customer service area. She took a deep breath before pushing open the door and going inside.

In spite of all her efforts to put Jake in the “business” part of her brain, her heart was racing as she rang the bell on the counter and waited for someone to come through the door that led into the garage itself.

She waited five minutes and rang the bell again. When no one came, she went over to the inner door and peered through the dusty glass.

There he was. He had his back to her and was talking to a dark-haired man, but the only one she really saw was Jake.

He was wearing a dark blue tee shirt and faded jeans, and she’d never been more conscious of how perfectly sculpted his body was.

His broad shoulders and powerful back were sexy enough. But the short sleeved shirt left his arms bare, and the hard curves of his biceps made her mouth water.

Her gaze drifted down. There was a wrench sticking out of his left back pocket, and the sight drew her attention to another part of his anatomy that was worth a second look.

Would there ever come a time when she wouldn’t react like this? When she could look at Jake without this fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach?

She was tempted to chicken out, to slink out the door and tell Jake later she couldn’t work with him after all.

But then she remembered the conversation she’d had with Allison a couple of days ago, when they’d met for breakfast one morning.

“So…Jake told me he gave you a ride home after the wedding.”

Erin felt herself blushing but hoped her friend wouldn’t notice. “His truck is better in the snow than my car.”

“Uh huh.” Allison’s look was speculative, and Erin tried to head her off at the pass.

“Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“That’s what he said, too.”

He’d talked to his sister about her?

“He also told me you’re designing a website for him and Mark.”

That was a much safer topic. “Yes. I’m no expert, but I’ve seen pictures of some of his bikes, and they look amazing.”

Allison nodded. “He really is good. He’s a genius with engines, and he can do anything with metal. He’s got an eye for design, too.” She hesitated. “I’m glad you’re doing his website, Erin. I’m glad you’re in his life. I mean, I know you guys are just friends, but…I think you could be good for him.” She bit her lip. “Sorry. That sounds weird, right?”

Erin shook her head. “You’re worried about him.”

Allison looked almost ashamed. “I am. The whole family is. He’d be furious if he knew I said that to you, or to anyone, but…yes, I’m worried. If he’d only talk to us…” she sighed. “You didn’t see him right after he got home, did you?”

Erin shook her head again. “I didn’t see him until the night of your wedding.”

“He came home about three months before that. When we first saw him…Erin, it was awful. He was like a different person. Like…like he was dead inside. He’d never been like that before, on any of his leaves or anything. Up until a year ago, he’d tell us about the war if we asked. Not everything, of course. He was awarded the Silver Star a few years ago, and he would never talk about that. I think a lot of soldiers died that day. But he’d tell us about his daily life, the guys in his unit, the local people he met.”

Allison frowned. “But after he got out…nothing. He won’t even talk to Jenna, and they used to be so close.” She took a deep breath. “He blows up at the idea of seeing a therapist. I don’t even suggest it anymore.”

What Allison was telling her fit in with what she’d seen herself—the cool impassivity of his expression, and the flickers of something else underneath. “What does Irene think?”

Allison sighed. “Mom says we just need to be patient. He does seem a little better, lately. A little more…alive. He’s different when he talks about his work, and—” she met Erin’s eyes “—when he talks about you. And that’s why I think you could be good for him. As a friend, of course,” she added quickly. “Or, you know, web designer.”

So Jake’s family was worried about him. From the little she’d seen, she thought they probably had reason to worry. She couldn’t even imagine the kind of things he’d experienced in the last ten years, or what had happened in this last year that had changed him so much. But to keep it all bottled up the way he did couldn’t be healthy.

Allison thought she’d be good for Jake, and Erin hoped it was true. As long as they kept things on a business footing, she could protect her heart and still be in his life. Maybe they could even be friends, eventually.

At least that’s what she’d thought until she actually saw him again, and all her bones felt hollow.

But she wasn’t going to chicken out. Jake was a good man, and the only real hero she’d ever known. He might not be
her
knight in shining armor but he was
a
knight in shining armor, a veteran who’d given ten years to his country, serving in the most difficult and dangerous situations imaginable.

And she was a grown woman capable of putting her own feelings aside to help him settle back into civilian life—even if all she was doing was building him a website.

So she took a deep breath, opened the door, and went into the garage.

Her resolve faltered the moment Jake turned around and saw her. He grinned, and her stomach did a little flip.