Waiting for Something (21 page)

             
“So you’re going out again?” she pried.

             
“Yes, we are,” I rolled my eyes.

             
“When? Where?” She just didn’t know when to shut up.

             
“Not sure, but soon. Chill, Jay. You’re getting too excited about this,” I laughed a little.

             
“Well I’m just glad you’re finally getting over Jake.” She hopped off the bed and went over to the I-pod to change the music.

             
“Yeah, me too.” I didn’t know if I was getting over Jake but I hoped that Jesse could do the trick.

You’re Not Home

             
“Alright, Carter, I can’t have you just throwing parties every night.” I came down the stairs to see the place trashed yet again. Maria was going to be pissed. Maria was our housekeeper.

             
“It’s not like you didn’t enjoy yourself.” he stumbled around in the living room looking at me and the girl behind me.

             
“Naomi, hi. You’re up.” I wasn’t expecting to have to do the whole morning thing.

             
“I sure am. I gotta get to the studio. Call me.” She slipped her heels on from the night before and kissed me before letting herself out.

             
“Okay, I picked her up at the bar, not here, so doesn’t even count. You’re calling Maria this time, not me.” I went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.

             
“Whatever, fine. You need to lighten up.” He grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and poured some cereal.

             
“And you need to grow up. Just because Mom and Dad aren’t here anymore doesn’t mean you can be lazy and worthless. They had plans for you. You should follow through.” I found myself giving him this lecture too many times.

             
“Yeah, okay. Nice to see you’re finally moving on.” I knew he was talking about Naomi.

             
“Dude, I bring a different girl home every night. Trust me, you won’t be seeing her again,” I poured myself some coffee.

             
“I don’t know how you do it. I think I’ve had two girls, maybe, since this year started and you’re just bringing them in like no big deal,” he sat down next to me with his cereal.

             
“You gotta have that charm, I’m telling ya.” I didn’t care about any of those women. I just needed to fill the dark hole in my chest.

             
“I think you attract so many women because they like a boy who’s suffering. You lost the most important girl in your life. Chicks love being the savior.’” Carter had no idea but his words were killing me.

             
“Yeah, whatever you say. So you gonna go do something productive today?” I took a sip of the coffee.

             
“Well I’m actually helping a friend with some stuff on the ranch. You?” He was such a kid. I missed being that way. I was that way with Ali.

             
“Just the usual,” I put my cup in the sink and headed upstairs to shower.

             
I went by with my normal routine. Not thinking, just doing. I was numb inside and out. I’d lost so much in just the last few months and I didn’t have a clue where to turn so I went for routine and normality. Well, and lots of alcohol.

             
“Just one?” the waitress took me out of my own mind. By now I’d made it to lunch.

             
“Yep.” I thought of Ali and how if I was with her things would be so different.

             
“Can I get you anything to drink?” she batted her lashes and laid her act on thick.

             
“Water with a lemon, please,” I grabbed the menu, ignoring her attempts to hit on me. Can’t pick up anything until the sky gets dark. It was my rule.

             
I sat alone eating my steak and potatoes while I watched the people around me. There was a couple behind me in the booth and they were arguing about who was going to pay the bill. Then beside me there was what looked like a business dinner going on. I could tell the young female looked nervous and out of place, probably an intern.

             
“Would you like dessert?” the waitress came back for one more try.

             
“Yeah, I would.” Ah, what the hell. I deserve it, plus her tits weren’t too bad either.

             
“Come with me,” she bit her bottom lip.

             
After a quick session in the handicap restroom, I was ready to go on with the rest of my day. I paid for my bill and left to go see the lawyer.

             
“Jake, it’s nice to see you. Please, have a seat,” my lawyer closed the door behind him.

             
“Thanks for getting me in so quickly. I just wanted to make sure these papers got signed as soon as possible,” I adjusted myself in the seat.

             
After taking care of a few small matters I let myself out and headed back to my car.

             
“Jake?” I heard a familiar voice.

             
“Justin, hey, what’s up man?” I turned and saw him and Marlie hand in hand.

             
“Just doing some shopping for the big day,” Marlie grinned a little.

             
“What big day?” I had no idea what was going on.

             
“We’re getting married,” her smile got huge and she flaunted her ring in front of me.

             
“Wow, that’s great you two. When did this happen?” I tried not to sound bitter.

             
“Just last night. I just couldn’t wait to get started! We’re out looking for ideas mostly, small things really. I still haven’t told Ali, so keep it quiet.” She was so happy with her own life she probably forgot that I haven’t spoken to Ali since the funeral.

             
“Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem,” I brushed my fingers through my hair.

             
“I’m asking her to be my maid of honor. Well, who knows? It might be matron with the rate her and that Jesse guy are going.” Yep, she just unintentionally broke my heart.

             
“Well that’s great. I should get going. I have a lot to do today. I’ll talk to you two later. Congratulations.” I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.

             
“You’ll be seeing an invite soon. It was great seeing you,” Marlie hugged me quickly while I was in mid-stride and I couldn’t have felt more awkward.

             
Ali was with another guy and apparently it was going well. Well enough to forget me. I haven’t spoken to her because she told me when she was ready she’d talk to me, so I respected that. I was so stupid to think we’d get back together still. She’s moved on and I’m back to square one. Nothing.

Twenty-Four

             
I sat at Jesse’s place working on my homework, waiting for him to get off work when my phone started ringing. It was Marlie.

             
“Hey,” I answered.

             
“You won’t believe what just happened to me! Well, not just, but last night.” She sounded like she had some really good news. Maybe she got that scholarship she’s been waiting to hear about.

             
“You got the scholarship?” I smiled to myself.

             
“No, better. I got engaged!” she squealed.

             
“To who?” Wow, I’m dumb.

             
“Very funny.” She was on cloud nine.

             
“Okay, so tell me how he proposed.” I was excited for her, don’t get me wrong. I just didn’t think, well, I guess I don’t really know what I thought.

             
“Okay so we were on our weekly dinner date and when we got back to the apartment there was a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom and when I walked in there was a huge pillow with ‘Will you marry me’ on it and when I turned around he was down on one knee and with the most gorgeous diamond I have ever seen. I’ll send you a picture in a bit.” I missed her so much.

             
“I’m so happy for you two. I wish I could be there with you right now.” I really did wish I was with her.

             
“Okay, so check your e-mail real quick.” She had a surprise.

             
“Let me guess, you e-mailed me a picture of the ring?” I laughed.

             
“Just open the e-mail and you’ll see,” she had something else she was hiding. I opened the message and up popped an e-card that read, ”I have the groom now I need the maid of honor. Would you do me the honor?” It was actually really cute.

             
“Of course I’ll be your maid honor!” I couldn’t stop grinning, an excuse to come home.

             
“Yay! I’m so happy! Ok, so, like, I have a lot of planning and stuff to do so we’ll have to skype a lot but that’s okay.” I felt bad for not being there for all of the planning but I had school and she knew I couldn’t leave.

             
“I feel terrible for not being there for you,” my tone changed.

             
“You are going to be there for me, just not for the entire thing but that’s absolutely okay. I have you in spirit with me every day. I really hate to go but I have a lot more family to call. You’re the first one to know, well, besides Jake. He found out first.” Jake? She saw Jake. I hadn’t thought about him on purpose since the funeral. I’ve been trying to heal, but now every emotion came back.

             
“Jake? How is he?” I tried to sound cool.

             
“Can we talk about this later? I’m sorry. I really gotta call my parents.” She sounded rushed.

             
“Yeah, congrats again, love. Hugs and kisses to you both,” I tried to sound chipper.

             
“Love ya!” And with that she hung up. I held the phone in my hand for a second before doing something I should have never done.

             
Hey…
I pressed send before I let myself think.

             
I sat there waiting for ten minutes before giving up and getting back to my homework. About a half hour later I finally got a reply.

             
Hey, sorry, I was at the gym.
It was Jake. I hadn’t contacted him in months and now the barrier was finally broken.

             
Oh, no, that’s fine. I just wanted to know how things have been.

             
They’re fine. Did you hear about Justin and Marlie?

             
Sure have. Pretty exciting.

             
Yeah…

             
What do I say to that? It’s like he wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t blame him. I’ve blocked him out of my life for so long. Why should he even care?

             
I’m sorry for never getting ahold of you.

             
You wanted your space. That’s what I gave you.

             
Thank you for that.

             
No problem

             
So…

             
Mhm?

             
Nothing.

             
What’s going on, Ali Cat?

             
I secretly missed being called that.

             
I just, I don’t know. Thought of you and I guess I miss you.

             
You guess? I’m flattered.

             
No, I do miss you…

             
I miss you too. How’s that Jesse guy and you doing? Marlie told me about him.

             
Damn it. Marlie and her big mouth.

             
Oh, yeah. We’re good. I’m at his place waiting for him to get off work so we can go to the movies.

             
Sounds fun.

             
I guess.

             
Is that all you needed?

             
Yup, he was definitely pissed or hurt or both.

             
I guess…

             
See ya.

             
Yeah, bye.

             
I rolled my eyes at my phone and left it at that. I shouldn’t have texted him in the first place. Why did Marlie tell him about Jesse? I mean, I guess it didn’t matter. Maybe it did. Hell, I didn’t know about anything anymore. I put my homework away and sat at Jesse’s island until I heard the door open.

             
“Hey, babe, I’m home,” Jesse’s voice echoed through the hall.

             
“I’m in the kitchen. You about ready to go?” I slipped my shoes on.

             
“Sure am. Give me a minute to get changed. How was your day?” he gave me a kiss as he sat his stuff on the counter.

             
“Not bad. Finished a paper and did some cleaning at my place.” We didn’t live together. I still had the dorm.

             
“Sounds thrilling. I’m gonna change and we’ll get going,” he walked to the bedroom and slowly I followed behind him.

             
“So, you know Marlie?” I stopped in the doorway and watched him change.

             
“Your friend from back home? Yeah, what about her?” he took his shirt off.

             
“She’s engaged and she asked me to be her maid of honor,” I grinned.

             
“Wow, that’s great! To Justin, right?” he changed into his jeans.

             
“Yeah, the wedding is in June.” I watched as he tied his shoes.

             
“That’s really soon. You’re gonna need to help her a lot,” he smiled up at me.

             
“I know. I don’t think she’s really big into long engagements,” I laughed a little.

             
“Guess not. Ready to go?” he kissed my forehead.

             
“Yeah.” I didn’t feel my smile reach my eyes.

             
After the movie we went to Rockefeller Plaza to look at the Christmas tree and drink hot chocolate. Christmas break was in three days and I couldn’t wait to be home. I missed the warm air, believe it or not.

             
“So are you going home for Christmas?” We hadn’t really talked about my plans much. We were exchanging gifts tonight because he and his family were heading to Europe tomorrow morning.

             
“Yeah, I leave at noon on Friday. My last final gets over at ten,” I sipped my hot chocolate.

             
“Well that should be fun. You gonna miss me?” he nudged me playfully.

             
“Of course I’m going to miss you.” I kissed him softly.

             
“Good, because if it were my choice, I would stow you in my suitcase,” he grinned.

             
“I wish you would. No, it’ll be nice to be home and see everyone, especially Marlie since she’s getting married so soon.” He wrapped his arm around me and I snuggled into his chest.

             
“I got you something,” his voice got soft and quiet.

             
“Well, wouldn’t you know, I got you something too.” I reached for his gift from my bag.

             
“Me first,” he stopped me and held out a jewelry box.

             
“What is it?” I wasn’t expecting jewelry.

             
“Well open it, you goof,” he laughed and I opened it. It was a pair of gorgeous diamond earrings.

             
“Oh my gosh! This is too much. Thank you,” I hugged him tightly.

             
“Your reaction was perfect.” He made me so happy.

             
“Okay, your turn. It’s not much but I hope you like it.” I handed it to him and he unwrapped it delicately.

             
“A first edition of
A Tale of Two Cities
?! Marry me?” he grinned and I giggled.

             
“How did you get this?” He was in pure shock.

             
“Well, I know it’s your favorite and I may have pulled a few strings.” I was proud of the gift I gave him.

             
“You’re absolutely perfect.” He held me in a long kiss.

             
“Well take me home and I’ll show you how perfect I can be,” I gave him another longing kiss.

             
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He grabbed my hand and we headed home.

             
Once we got settled in for the night at his apartment it started snowing and I was hoping it wouldn’t snow too much so he and his family would be able to leave tomorrow as planned. We cozied up on the couch and watched the snow outside his window as his electric fireplace was going.

             
“You know, this is like the fairytales,” I whispered as I laid on his chest.

             
“It really is,” he whispered back.

             
“But you know, most fairytales are rated G,” I was trying to get to the sex part.

             
“Oh and ours isn’t?” he played along.

             
“Nope.” I kissed his neck.

             
“Well then, Miss Burns, prepare yourself for a little grey.” He was referring to the ever-so-popular book trilogy
50 Shades of Grey
.

             
“That was…” I trailed off.

             
“Amazing,” he finished and I nodded in agreement.

             
“Best sex ever,” I snuggled back onto his chest.

             
“You’re telling me. Where’d you learn how to do that?” Jake, I thought to myself.

             
“I have no idea,” I laughed a little.

             
“Well I hope you enjoyed the ride,” he played with my hair.

             
“I enjoyed it six times.” Yes, I was referring to my orgasms.

             
“Go me,” he joked. 

             
“Oh yes, go you,” I let out a long breath of air.

             
“What time is it?” He looked for his phone and I grabbed mine from the dresser.

             
“Midnight already? What time does your flight take off?” I set my phone beside me.

             
“Well, my flight takes off at ten and I have to leave here around nine or a little earlier. We should probably get some sleep.” He reached over and set his alarm on my phone.

             
“You want me to stay over?” This would be the first time I ever stayed overnight.

             
“Yeah, of course. I’m going to get a glass of water and get ready real quick.” He kissed me and got out of bed, sliding his boxers on.

             
“You know this is our first overnight together?” I got up and put on his tshirt from earlier.