Waiting For Ethan (16 page)

N
eesha's wandering around my apartment collecting her belongings: a jacket over the back of the kitchen chair, shoes by the couch, a book in the bedroom, shampoo in the shower, lipstick by the mirror. We were supposed to have left for the airport twenty minutes ago.

“I think I've got it all now.” She fastens her suitcase and wheels it to the front door.

I scan the living room looking for anything she might be leaving behind. The only item that's not mine is the urn. Neesha plans to come back during the summer with Ashley and the kids to spread the ashes. Until then, Ajee's staying with me.

Once in the car, I can tell Neesha wants to say something important by the way she's studying my profile. Every time I turn to look at her, she quickly looks away. “Gina,” she finally says. “I think Ajee got the third predictions wrong for both of us. Ashley can't leave his job, and I'm not sure about Ethan for you.”

“Ajee never got it wrong.” I put on my blinker and turn right onto the entry ramp for the Mass Pike.

Neesha turns the radio up. “This is Jayda's favorite song,” she says, and she sings along to “Call Me Maybe.” When the song ends, she turns the radio off. “Jayda,” she says. “Ajee told me I was having a boy.”

I glance over at Neesha. I can tell by the way she's pulling on the seat belt by her shoulder that there is more to this story. “Did she specifically say Jayda would be a boy or that you would have a boy someday?”

Neesha laughs. “You sound like Ajee now.” She changes her voice to imitate Ajee's. “Ah, dear one, I only said that you would have a boy, I did not say that
this
baby would be the boy.” She goes back to her normal voice. “But we all knew she was talking about Jayda.”

“Was she, though, because soon after you had AJ.” I step on the gas to put some room between me and a green Civic that is riding my bumper. “Why can't he just go to the left lane and pass me?”

Neesha turns to look at the car behind us, which has already closed any space I put between us. She points to the lane on the left. Instead, he turns into the right lane and gives Neesha the finger as he accelerates by.

We both laugh. “I bet that doesn't happen in Texas.”

“It does, but usually it's me giving the finger.”

 

In the airport I pull up to the curb as close to the terminal entrance as I can get. Neesha unfastens her seat belt and leans over to hug me. “It was so great to reconnect, Gina.” A bus nearly sideswipes my car as it pulls in to drop off passengers; its exhaust chokes me as it idles in front of us. I pull away from Neesha to cough, and she gets out of the car. I pop the trunk.

When I am on the sidewalk with her, she takes my hand. “I know you've been waiting for Ethan, but I don't think you should rule out Cooper. Ajee might have been wrong.”

“What did Luci say?”

Neesha squeezes my hand. “She didn't have to say anything. I saw the way he looked at you. I heard the lilt in your voice when you were talking to him.”

“Lilt in my voice?”

A police officer approaches, pointing to my car. “Move it.”

I hold up my index finger, indicating he should wait a minute. Neesha hugs me.

The police officer taps me on my back. “Time's up,” he says.

 

I arrive at work at ten forty to find Peter sitting in my seat, which he has rolled over right next to Luci's. She's leaning back, laughing at something he just said. Their arms are touching, and Luci moves away from him when she sees me.

Peter gets up and pushes my chair back behind my desk. He blows Luci a kiss as he walks out. “What was that all about?”

“He's trying to convince me to come to karaoke on Friday night.” She's chewing gum and blows a bubble. “Cooper and Jamie were looking for you.”

I start my computer. Sure enough, I have a message from both of them. Jamie's e-mail instructs me to finish Gail Germain's report today while Cooper asks me to get his report back to him by five o'clock.

“How was the rest of your visit with Neesha?” Luci asks. “Did she like me?”

“What did you tell her about Cooper?”

“I just said it's a shame his name isn't Ethan.”

 

Ethan and Brady are waiting on my steps when I get home from work that night. Brady leaps up on me, and Ethan grabs him by the collar. “He missed you,” he says. I squat to pet the dog. Ethan places his hand on my shoulder. “I missed you, too.”

I stand again. “Why didn't you call?”

He shrugs. “Leah called. I had to pick up Brady.”

“I thought she was supposed to have him until next week.”

Ethan hunches his back and stares at the ground. “Apparently that prick she's dating doesn't like dogs. She's giving me full custody.”

I stop to consider this. A few weeks ago she was ready to cement the dog's paws in place so she could hold on to him, and now she's just handing him over. I guess she's serious about this guy. “Isn't that a good thing?”

Ethan takes a deep breath and lifts his head but doesn't answer.

“I told her about your friend's grandmother's prediction.”

Luci would say he told her to make her jealous. To show her that he's moved on, too. I sit down next to him and pet Brady. “What did she say?”

“Not much.” He sighs. “She wondered if you were only dating me because of my name.” He stares into my eyes.

“Of course not,” I blurt out, but as soon as the words are spoken, I wonder if they're true.

“Why are you dating me? What can I offer you?”

I touch his leg. “No one has ever affected me like you do.”

“Great,” he says. “You're in lust.”

I shake my head. “That's not it, or all of it. I feel safe and loved when I'm with you. You make me feel wanted.”

He strokes my face. “Who wouldn't want you?”

I turn to face him and slide onto his lap. We kiss on the stairs under the spotlight. “I do want to marry you,” he says. “I just need time.” I'm not thrilled by the idea of having to wait longer, but his statement makes me feel better than I felt on Friday night. “Can you wait?” he asks.

“Ajee told me I'd have to be patient.”

He runs his fingers through my hair, and his kisses become deeper. We stay tangled up on the stairs as the sound of cars passing on the street and car doors slamming drifts into the backyard. Finally Ethan stands. One hand grabs Brady by the collar; the other takes mine.
It's going to turn out just as Ajee predicted
, I think as he leads me to my bed.

Later I cook dinner while he watches
SportsCenter
in the living room. The urn with Ajee's ashes sits on the coffee table just a few inches away. I wonder if seeing me and Ethan content like this would make her happy. Of course it would. Ethan yawns and stretches. He lifts his feet up on the table, and they brush against the urn, knocking it to the floor. He stands to retrieve it, but trips over Brady, banging his face against the coffee table.

Brady stands and barks as I rush into the room. “Are you okay?”

“It hurts.” He covers the side of his face with his hand.

“Let me see.”

He lowers his hand revealing his cheek. There's a small circular red mark with a deep scratch running diagonally through it. I can't stop staring at it because it looks exactly like the symbol for “no.”

T
he elevator stops on the second floor. Jamie boards. He's carrying a stack of folders and eyes Luci's and my empty hands. “Are you two prepared for this meeting?”

Luci points to her head. “We have it all in here. Don't you worry.”

“I am worried,” Jamie says. “They're thinking of outsourcing editing to India.”

Luci and I laugh. “I'm pretty sure editing can't be outsourced to India,” she says.

Cooper and I still have not come up with a way to speed up the editing process. The other executives are losing their patience, so Cooper called today's meeting to solicit ideas from Jamie and Luci.

The elevator reaches the fourth floor. The doors slide open. We follow Jamie down the hall into Cooper's office. He's sitting at the round table in the corner of the room studying a piece of paper with a half-eaten sandwich in front of him. He looks up and smiles, the two-dimple version that transforms his face. I'm so mesmerized by it that I walk into the bookshelf that's next to the door. I hit it so hard that the framed picture of Cooper with the beautiful dark-haired woman falls to the ground. Cooper leaps from his chair and rushes to my side. “Are you okay?” He puts his hand on my shoulder and leads me away from the door. I look up at him. He has that squinty look. I swear it takes my breath away. I notice a smear of peanut butter by the corner of his mouth, and I instinctively reach up to wipe it away. When I touch him, his grip on my shoulder tightens, and he lets out a small gasp as he exhales.

“Catherine Zeta-Jones,” Luci says. She's holding the picture that fell to the ground. Cooper and I immediately step away from each other. “How did you meet her?” Luci asks as she places the photo back on the shelf and takes the last chair at the table.

“She is, or was, the spokesperson for one of the cellular companies I cover. Met her at a banquet.”

Luci shoots me a smug look. I'm behind Cooper's desk about to roll his chair to the table. “Gina thought it was a picture of you and your girlfriend,” she says. I wish I could make myself invisible. Instead I do the next best thing and sit down right there behind Cooper's desk. I can feel my neck getting splotchy. I slouch in my seat, wishing I could kill Luci. “I told her you don't have a girlfriend, but she thinks you do.” Now, instead of killing her, I want to kill myself.

Jamie clears his throat, and Luci stops talking. I refuse to make eye contact with anyone and stare at the desktop. I can feel Cooper and Jamie both looking at me, though. Christ, it's suddenly a thousand degrees in Cooper's office. I think I might melt. I wish I could melt. I imagine turning into a big puddle on the floor.

Jamie slides a piece of paper with graphs in front of Cooper and Luci and then hands one to me. “These are our statistics for the past few weeks,” he says. I have never been so happy to discuss work.

After five minutes of brainstorming, Cooper's computer buzzes, and an e-mail flashes across the bottom of his screen. The sender's name, Monique Harrington, catches my attention. I read the message:
“Can you take Tyler to baseball tonight?”
Well, the woman in the picture might not be Monique, but obviously she and Cooper are serious if he's involved in the kids' lives.

“Gina?” Jamie says. “Your turn.”

We are all taking turns making suggestions. “Hire more editors,” I say.

Jamie frowns. “Luci just said that.”

“Yeah, well, it's worth repeating.”

“Maybe we're going about this wrong,” Cooper says. “Why don't you tell me about the reports you're able to edit quickly.”

“Well, once . . .” Luci begins. I don't hear the rest because Cooper's e-mail flashes again. It's a second message from Monique.
“Steak tonight?”

Do she and her children live with him? Does she have more than one kid? She must if she drives a minivan. I imagine Cooper in a Red Sox cap, playing catch with a small boy. Then I imagine him and Monique sharing a candlelit dinner. Of course, I picture Monique looking exactly like Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then the image of the woman blurs, and when it comes into focus, it's me. Cooper is clinking a wineglass against mine. We each take a sip. He puts his glass down, reaches for mine, and places it next to his. He leans over and kisses me. Then he stands, picks me up, and carries me into the ...
Stop it. Stop it right now. I have a boyfriend. A fiancé, practically. And his name is Ethan, just like Ajee said.

I look back to the table. Jamie, Cooper, and Luci are all staring at me, clearly waiting for a response. Luci raises an eyebrow. “And that's my example of a time when I had to rush to meet an impractical deadline,” she prompts.

And that is one reason Luci Chin is my best friend. She keeps me from getting fired. “Right,” I say. “Last week, reports from Gail and Cooper were due on the same day. Hers was so bad there was no way I could finish it and yours,” I say, looking at Cooper. Oh boy, I shouldn't have done that. I feel my chest heating up as I notice how plump his lips are. I bet they're soft.

“So, what did you do?” he asks.

I twirl a long strand of hair around my index finger and then unravel it slowly. “Truthfully, I edited hers and just lightly scanned yours. Hers was unreadable and couldn't go to the client as written; yours was okay.”

“You sent Cooper's report to the client without editing it,” Jamie repeats in a judgmental tone.

“I did.”

“Gina, how could—”

Cooper cuts off Jamie. “That's it.”

“What?” Jamie asks.

“The way to speed up editing. Comprehensive edits for those who need it, and cursory reviews for those who don't.”

“Who determines that?” Luci asks.

“You and Gina.” He scribbles something on a piece of paper. “You'll rate the analysts. Those with high scores get quick reviews, and those with low scores get the full treatment.”

 

Jamie, Luci, and I file out of Cooper's office and head back to our own. We ride the elevator in silence. It dings when we reach the second floor. “Do the ratings right now,” Jamie says before stepping off the elevator. “And I want an explanation for each one.”

Luci salutes him. “Yes, sir.”

“I mean it,” he says as the doors slide shut.

Luci waits until we're back in our office to tease me. “Can't believe you thought Catherine Zeta-Jones was Cooper's girlfriend.” She leans back in her chair with her hands interlocked behind her head.

I sigh. “I didn't recognize her.”

“Obviously.” She laughs.

“Okay, so it wasn't a picture of Cooper and his girlfriend, but he still has one, Monique. She e-mailed him during our meeting.”

“Is that why you weren't paying attention? You were reading his e-mails.” It's the same judgmental tone Jamie used earlier.

“It's not like I was snooping. They were flashing right in front of me.”

“Anything juicy?”

“He's taking her son Tyler to Little League, and they're having steak for dinner.” Luci starts typing as I speak. I'm not sure she's even listening anymore. “So I guess it's serious,” I say. “If he's involved in her kid's life.”

Luci nods. “His profile's off the dating site. Looks like you waited too long and lost your chance.”

Waited too long. Story of my life. My heart beats faster. When I try to take a breath, a sharp pain rips across my chest. They're the exact symptoms I had when I fled the church for the emergency room. I'm having a panic attack because Cooper took his profile off a dating site. What's wrong with me?

“Are you okay?” Luci asks.

I tell myself to calm down. It doesn't matter what Cooper does, because I'm with Ethan. Just like Ajee predicted.

Luci watches me through narrowed eyes. “You don't look so good.”

“I need some fresh air.” I stand and head outside for a walk.