Wait for Me (8 page)

I tore it up.

I tore that one up too. In the end I just wrote a cryptic:

*

In the build-up to the New Year, I spent a solitary few days at the parking lot. The majority of the people in the wealthy districts left the city for the holidays so there were only a few cars to monitor. Amongst these was Adam's, but there was no trace of his person. We had not crossed paths since the night of revelations and I wasn't thinking about him, although I always threw a glance towards the light in his apartment before I went to sleep.

Between the deserted nights and a closed university, my already limited social life now ceased to exist at all. I didn't even have Steven any more; he seemed to have evacuated the earth. Probably he had met somebody. He usually had. I didn't blame him really… I had been guilty of this before, but ignoring my messages was a little unnecessary.

To fight the boredom of these final few days, I spent my afternoons in Lucas's café, giving English lessons to little Esteban and Ester's husband.

“What are you doing for New Year?” Ester asked me, sitting down at the table for her break.

“Not much,” I replied.

“You want you have dinner with us?”

“That's okay,” I muttered, shaking my head. “I think I'll be watching the parking lot. I'll find a good film to watch and get an early night.”

“Sounds great—” Ben said, getting to his feet and approaching the table. “Me and my buddy are going to a club over in Jersey if you fancy coming?”

I looked up at him and frowned, horrified at the idea. I would rather sit on my own in Lether's Parking.

“I know, I know, but I have to do it. We'll be opening the bar in a couple of months so we're trying to get to know the scene and do some networking. You know, get acquainted with the locals.”

“Good luck with that – get a few tattoos and wear a nice tank top.”

“Come with us, it'll be fun. You might even meet somebody,” he urged.

“
Si
– a nice bald, fake-tanned bodybuilder with the tiny
pito
,” Ester said.

I burst out laughing. “No tiny
pitos
!”

*

The New Year had arrived.

I spent the night in my room with a few messages to warn me that cars were coming and going, and the TV on in the background. I also read a novel about time travel. It was pretty good.

Looking at the life vest, I thought about what I might change if time travel were possible. I didn't come up with an answer, or rather, I had so many answers that it was impossible to choose one. Perhaps I wouldn't change anything after all. Even if I did manage to erase an event, sooner or later I would only end up doing it again. History repeats itself, always.

At five minutes to midnight, I decided to search through the gift bags that we had received from customers. I wanted to find a bottle that would be suitable for a solitary toast. I chose a Dom Pérignon from 2003; kindly gifted by one ‘Richard Benson'. I took it outside with an empty coffee mug, hoping to see some fireworks. I could hear cheering from the windows as party goers awaited the countdown.

Curious, I looked up at the building opposite. The light on the twelfth floor was out. I was suddenly dazzled by two beaming headlights. When my vision returned, I saw Adam, fully suited, emerging from his car with a bottle and two glasses. In that moment I cursed my stupid idea to come out and watch the fireworks. I could have stayed, burrowed in bed and avoided this ambush completely.

“A toast to the New Year?” he asked, showing the label.

I held up the Dom Pérignon and my coffee mug. He gave me a smile, all the more gleaming as midnight was imminent.

“Shouldn't you be celebrating at some exclusive party?” I asked, folding my arms.

“I was dying of boredom, and I thought about you here, all alone. And then it occurred to me that we could be all alone together.”

An echo of voices started chanting the count. It was the beginning of the end. Another echo told me to run for cover, not to fall for it, to save myself.

Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.

Adam popped the cork.

“Happy New Year and many happy returns, Sophie!” he said, clinking his glass against mine.

“Happy New Year.”

We kissed on the cheek, sipping champagne and watching the fireworks. A joyous uproar seemed to permeate through the streets. Adam refilled my glass.

“Resolutions for this year?” he asked, leaning against his car.

I sighed. “Or resolution?” he added.

“Perhaps,” I hesitated. “Discover that we're not alone in the universe.”

He stared at me intently, frowning, and then lowered his gaze.

I didn't return the question – his immediate goals were evident. I sipped on the champagne, trying to think of a legitimate reason to leave. Adam filled his glass again and gave me a knowing smile.

“You're a tough one, Sophie!”

I chuckled at the compliment.

“Like a stone,” I muttered with satisfaction, and leaned against the railing in front of him. The comment, somehow, had put me at ease. It seemed like I was finally getting through to him.

“I'd say you're more like an egg,” he said, breaking the silence. “You have a tough shell but you're soft on the inside.”

My smile faded. “Soft on the inside?” I asked, appalled. “An egg?”

“Sophie,” he said, taking a step towards me, with an ardent smile and unmistakable body language. “Sophie, I really like you,” he said, a little too close now.

“Adam, I think I've made myself pretty clear,” I said, sliding away from the sexual tension that seemed to radiate from his body.

“Sophie,” he said again.

“Please,” I begged, looking down at the floor. “Don't be so persistent.”

“You didn't ask me about my resolution because you already knew the answer… Sophie.” I couldn't bring myself to look at him, afraid that I would give in. It was enough to keep myself standing. What would happen? How long before he showed his true self? What lay beyond this charming seduction? A single mantra reverberated through my mind: I will get hurt, I will get hurt, I will get hurt… and the disappointment will endure. But from the moment his car pulled up, I knew how that night would end. The ninety-nine per cent of me that was screaming ‘no' was powerless before the remaining one per cent. And so it had always been. There is nothing more deadly than desire. His pull was stronger than anything I had felt before and resistance was futile. The wall kept me on my feet. I was trembling now.

There was no hesitation: “I look at your lips and all I want to do is taste them.” His hand slides onto my hip. I hold it at bay to stop it from slinking around my waist.

“Adam, I can't do this.”

He swiftly took my hand around his waist, binding me to him.

“Tell me why not. I don't know what's happened to you in the past, but I want to understand.” He was inches from my face, enveloping me with desire.

“Please, Sophie, give in,” he muttered, lightly brushing my cheek. “You won't get hurt.” He was almost on my lips now. “After all, it's New Year,” he added, with an elevating smile. That was the moment – I buckled.

In the next instant, his arms were clasped around me and his tongue was in my mouth. I sank into the whirlpool, clutching his body – out of instinct, out of necessity. Weightlessly, he carried me to my room. He tore off my clothes, kissing everything that he uncovered and nourishing the flame within. I needed him inside me. I began to unfasten the buttons of his shirt, he slid out of it, followed by the remainder of his clothes. As he unveiled his body, I longed for him to touch me again, but I started to see a montage of images: images of him with different women. I stiffened up and recoiled, blocking the trickle of his fingers against my bare skin. As though he were reading my thoughts, he leant down and held my face in his hands.

“I always take precautions,” he said, holding a condom between his fingers. “I have regular tests and the women I see are carefully selected, with valid medical certificates.”

The passion withered and reality resumed.

“Maybe it's best—” I muttered, reaching for my t-shirt.

“No, no, no.” He started kissing me gently, caressing my face, my neck, my shoulders. His lips fluttered over my skin. “I swear, I'm clean,” he said, pressing his forehead against mine, gasping for breath.

“Sophie, I want you so badly.”

All of my uncertainty disappeared as his fingers drifted lower. Before I knew it, I was in the raptures of passion, driven by a merciless lust, surrendering to his breathless kisses. I wanted to feel him, but I found that I couldn't move my arms. One brain cell managed to find its way through the haze of sexual pleasure – my hands were fastened to the headboard. My first reaction was fear, vulnerability. I tugged on the straps and Adam calmed me with more kisses, sliding his fingers inside me. The anxiety trickled away. His eyes shone, with a pure adoration for every inch of my body, and once again, I abandoned myself to pleasure. Usually it took a long time to climax through another's touch, but this was different; those lustrous eyes and that untouchable flesh, warm and soft as he pressed against me. Above all, it was his mouth that turned me on, slightly open in a pure and sensuous way. He could take me any way he wanted.

“Are you close, Sophie?” he asked, slipping his tongue into my mouth. He stopped touching me, calming the fire. “You want me to make you come?” His lips hovered over my neck.

I arched my back to try and free myself from the bindings. I needed to be free; I needed to touch him.

“You want my hand, my tongue, or me?” he whispered, almost to my lips. I tried to move closer and he held his body at bay. “Tell me, Sophie, tell me what you want.”

I felt his fingers touch me again, igniting my entire body.

“I want to hear you say it.”

He kissed my breasts and I knew I wanted his tongue. My nipples were hard and I was aching with excitement.

“Tell me.”

“Your mouth,” I strained.

Little by little, leaving a trail of kisses and bites, he travelled lower and lower. The anticipation was too much and the moment he grazed my clitoris with his tongue, I gasped. The slightest touch sent a shockwave through my flesh. The vigorous orgasm spread. I tried to hold my breath to stifle the moans. I tried not to scream out. Adam continued to lick me. I tried to hold him back, push his head from between my thighs, but he carried on caressing me with ardent pleasure, until I reached a second climax. This one crept upon me more slowly – a growing tide that left my nerves tingling.

His mouth returned to mine and I tasted myself on his lips and his tongue; my thrill still lingered there. My nipples kept burning as my mind was submerged by him. My body was consumed by a strange numbness, still recovering from the orgasm. Adam bit my lower lip and smiled, pressing his forehead against mine.

“You're a deluge, Sophie,” he said with satisfaction.

I searched for his lips again but he pulled away. I wanted to be able to move

—to drown him in kisses and ride him until the final drops of lust had been exhausted. ‘Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me,' I kept thinking, but my voice couldn't convert this into words. Adam opened the condom wrapper and finally took me. Still dazed by the multiple orgasms, I was utterly defenseless. He sank inside me without any resistance. The vigor of his penetration was so primitive that at first I recoiled – I pressed my feet against the mattress and pulled back by an inch. He held my hips, pushing himself deeper and deeper. The momentum increased and he moved ferociously inside me. His convulsing body moved me to the innermost throes of pleasures. It was a place I had never seen before. He kissed me violently as his pace accelerated. I felt his breath on my neck and his moans became more urgent. I lifted my knees and arched my back. I wanted to feel him come.

“Oh my god,” he said hoarsely.

Under the weight of his body, I sank into the mattress with an unexpected sense of fulfillment. He shifted himself definitively, and then steadied the pace. Moving softly in and out, I felt a pulse inside me as he came, panting against my bare neck.

In the end, it was all him. I had been completely at his mercy as he fucked me. I could do little apart from relish his penetration. But as I felt him come, I felt a profound sense of gratification at the fact that he had enjoyed me.

He freed my hands and collapsed beside me with his eyes closed. Lying on the bed, I could finally drag my fingers across his skin. It was warm and soft, just as I had imagined. I began to kiss his neck, his chest, his hands, in a gesture of appreciation. I moved lower, towards his penis, still semi-erect. I kissed and stroked it, then returned to his magnificent eyes.

“Happy New Year, Sophie,” he said, with a charming smile.

“Happy New Year, Adam,” I croaked, still struggling to speak.

We held one another for an indefinite amount of time, kissing and caressing in silence, apart from the sound of our breathing and the beat of his heart. I was lost amongst swirling sensations. I had never had sex like that before… with anybody. Nobody had ever shown me that level of pleasure. In his arms – for the first time ever – I felt complete. It was as though nothing before him had really existed; as though all of life was confined to that very moment. Everything else was happening in a remote world, at a remote time. Lulled by the rhythm of his breathing, I closed my eyes in bliss. “You're beautiful, Adam,” I muttered, absently. I felt a halt in his breathing. I opened my eyes to look at his. They were tightly shut.