Vow of Silence (20 page)

George closes my door and walks around the car. He opens his
door, climbs in and buckles his safety belt. I grind my teeth together to keep
from screaming as he adjusts his mirrors.

George

When we returned home from Bedlam, Gigi went straight to
bed. I was worried, but coming out of the shower, I find her sitting in the
middle of my bed. She is wearing an oversized t-shirt and nothing more. Her
nipples are clearly defined against the fabric.

I, on the other hand, am completely naked. I didn’t expect
her to be in my room, and my body very clearly shows that I noticed her
nipples.

“I thought we should talk,” she says.

“Let me grab a robe.”

She crosses the room faster than I can turn around and grabs
my hand. “Is there a reason you don’t want me? Do I disgust you?”

I meet her gaze and assure her, “You do not disgust me. It’s
just I’m in a relationship, and my primary partner isn’t currently in the
country. We always discuss our plans to add a new lover before we consummate.”
It
isn’t a complete lie. It is the type of relationship Lin hinted at wanting.

“Oh.”

Looking down at the floor, Gigi rubs her lips together. I
think that is the end of the discussion but she suddenly throws her arms around
my neck and kisses me. There isn’t a single submissive note in the way she does
so either. She completely dominates my mouth, our teeth collide, my tongue
raped. I can’t think, I can’t breathe, but I can react. I push her down onto
the mattress and pin her, crushing her beneath the weight of my chest, pinning
her arms between us. The fabric of her t-shirt rides up and my cock and balls
are trapped between our bare bodies.

She giggles. “At least I’m still capable of getting your
attention.”

“There isn’t a moment you haven’t had my full undivided
attention, lady.”

“You’ve never been willing to kiss me like that before.”

“You were a child before, and I have a total aversion to
being some guy named Bubba’s bitch in the state pen.” I am rock hard, aching.
Why am I saying no? Why am I still claiming a relationship with Lin? It’s
obvious we’re ill-suited. It’s obvious we are never going to work as a couple.

“I’m not a child anymore, George.”

“My lovers call me Master.”

“Perfect.” Between our bodies, she grabs my cock and grips
hard, pulling its length harder. I wonder if I am so readable it’s obvious from
looking at me that I like it a little rough. I moan, unable to stop the sound.
She bats her eyes. “How may I serve you, Master?”

“You don’t want this, Gigi.”

“I’ve wanted
this
my whole life, Master.”

I look down at her, believing her. I push away and there is
immediate disappointment in her eyes. Standing, my first instinct is to comfort
her, to explain my intentions, but she doesn’t need coddling. I won’t earn her
respect with overindulgence. “You know your way to the dungeon. Go there. Now!”

She gasps, eyes wide, looking like she just won the lottery.
It takes only a second for her to recover and make a mad dash down the hall. I
hear the foyer door, her hurried footsteps down the stairwell.

Now what?

God, who am I kidding? I know exactly what comes next.

The cooler basement air is refreshing to my bare skin. It
should wake me up from this precarious path I venture down but it doesn’t.
Something niggles at the back of my brain—not guilt. Premonition? Or maybe just
years of telling me I can’t have
this
woman. Regardless, I keep
descending.

I find Gigi kneeling in the center of the room. She is nude,
the shirt she was wearing balled up and tossed aside. Her arms are behind her
back and her eyes are focused forward. Perfect submission. If only I could have
taught Lin to find joy in the art before she left…

I push that thought away. Lin is not in this equation. Maybe
she never was.

I walk a slow circle around Gigi, pretending to assess her,
but there is no fault to her form. Her eyes don’t ever lose focus, her breath
neither slows down or speeds up.

“Bend forward.”

She obeys, the line of her back forming a perfect bow.

“Do you prefer the flogger or the cane?”

“Cane, Master.”

I squat behind her and run my hand over her back. There are
faint scars in a crisscross pattern, proving she is well acquainted with the
birch.

Standing, I instruct her to do the same. I lead her into my medieval
replica dungeon. With a coarse rope, I bind her hands and, using a pulley, lift
them above her head until she is stretched uncomfortably and standing on
tiptoe. I tie her ankles independent of each other, so that I can change her
position easily. For now I merely anchor each rope to the floor.

I select two floggers from a standing cabinet.

“I prefer the cane, Master.”

“I heard you the first time.”

I tease the narrow suede thongs over her skin, giving her a
feel for the soft leather. Stepping back, I strike down. The strands whistle in
warning, followed by a solid sound of impact. Gigi cries out in surprise and
pain.

The soft leather is deceptive.

I look at her pale skin to gauge her markability. Dark,
angry, red lines already appear.

“Are you ready for me to begin?”

“Yes, Master.” Her voice sounds apprehensive.

“Say the word ‘red’ loudly and clearly if you wish for me to
stop before I am ready to do so.”

“Yes, Master.”

I strike left then right, utilizing both floggers, building
a rhythm, building speed. With each strike she cries out softly, the sound as
graveled as her voice.

“Be quiet.”

“Yes, Master.”

I smack the thongs down over her back again and again until
most of the surface of her skin blazes a brilliant shade of deep pink, but she
stays silent. Only when we are both covered with a sheen of sweat do I start
moving around her body, striking random targets, always with the same left-right
rhythm. Hips. Thighs. Pelvis. Breasts. After a long stretch I switch to two
wider-thonged floggers that are capable of delivering more impact but less skin
damage. With these I can go all night.

It is quite a workout, exhausting for both of us.

Gigi withstands the punishment beautifully, moaning only
toward the end, and not sagging with exhaustion until after I set the floggers
aside.

I’m not finished.

Only now do I bring the cane out of the cabinet. I lift the
wood to her lips and without being told to do so she kisses it.

“Very good.”

I swat the back of her thighs, leaving thin welts, and then
the front of her thighs.

With softer swats, I target her mons. One swat hits a sweet
spot perfectly, and she cries out. “Fuck, Master. Fuck.”

“Nice sting, that one?”

She doesn’t answer and I proceed, maintaining a rhythm of
soft but stingy strikes. I can tell by the look on her face the moment she
starts to lift into the pleasure of an approaching orgasm.

“Red! Oh fuck. Red. I don’t want to come, Master. Please. Oh
fuck. Oh fuck.”

I hold her while she shudders and shakes through the wave.
She sobs, unable to catch her breath. “Oh God, oh God. Please don’t force me to
come.”

I kiss her damp temple. “I’ve never had anyone complain
about orgasm.”

“I’m not a normal girl.”

“Talk to me, Gigi.”

“I said ‘red’! Will you just please fucking release me?”

“No.”

Her eyes widen.

“Red was to stop the pain. I’m afraid we’re going to have to
renegotiate the rules if you want me to cease giving you pleasure.”

“I don’t want to come.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like when my body betrays me. I like the pain. I
don’t like to have that joy interrupted with pleasure.”

I rub her slit, finding her wet, ready.

“Please, Master. Please don’t.”

I release her bonds and as soon as she is free she races
upstairs. I follow, only to find she has locked herself in the guest room. I
bang on her door. “We’re going to have to talk about this.”

“Don’t analyze me, George. I just want you to punish me. Can
you do that?”

George, not Master.
“No, Gigi, I can’t.”

Lin

London, UK

I wake up mid-orgasm, the jolts of pleasure going through my
body making me toss and moan, but then I am awake and not orgasming at all.
Damn
it!
I reach down and touch my clit, trying to remember the dream.

A woman was sucking off George and even though I’ve never
met the woman, I knew she was Gigi, or at least my brain’s fabrication of Gigi.

It doesn’t make sense why dreaming of George and the woman
I’ve come to see as direct competition while I’ve been away made me orgasm. But
that wasn’t it. That wasn’t the whole dream. I remember now.

George said, “Join us?” as if it was the most natural thing
in the world for me to be in the room with him and Gigi.

I know my fears stem from worrying about whether he will
have an affair with Gigi while I’m away. Of course, I’ve left him no reason not
to. I left—without a word.
Damn it.
I should have said something. What?
I was so mad! Anything I would have said would have only made matters worse.

I dreamed George pulled Gigi over his knee and spanked her
soundly, then treated me to almost the same measure of indignity. At least I’d
kept my skirt on, so the evidence of my flaming ass wasn’t obvious.

While George spanked me, I watched Gigi out of the corner of
my eye. She donned a strap-on harness equipped with a prosthetic phallus. It
was bright-red and slick.

“On your hands and knees.”

I looked at George, unsure that what I’d heard was really
what George had said. Surely he didn’t mean to have Gigi fuck me?

“You heard me.”

I knelt on the carpeted floor. My belly danced with
butterflies, my knees shook and my pussy throbbed with anticipation. I wasn’t
as surprised when Gigi knelt behind me as my awake self insists I should have
been. I wasn’t embarrassed or indignant. I wasn’t humiliated.

I was hot for her.

With fast hands, she pushed up my skirt and pulled down my
panties. Her hands were cool against my heated ass and as she ran her palms
over my bare skin. I shivered with needy response.

“You have such a nice ass.” George knelt in front of me,
pinching my cheeks as he forced me to look at him. “Thank you for sharing it
with Gigi.”

What?

Gigi thrust deeply, pushing past my tight anal muscles.

“God!”

“Yes-s-s,” George hissed. “Look in my eyes as she fucks your
ass. Let me see your disbelief as you come for her.”

My dream self was so close to coming in that moment. I felt
the tugging lift of a pleasure vortex.

“Oh. Oh!” I moaned. I looked deep into his eyes, not knowing
what he saw in mine. Did he see disbelief?

I saw ownership.

George Kirkpatrick owned my dark soul, and that thought
didn’t frighten my dream-self. It made me inexplicably happy.
Happy?

I came the moment Gigi grunted and the weight on my back
doubled. George had thrust into Gigi and she was screaming in my ear.

The memory propels my fingers to move faster over my clit
and I am coming. Again.
Oh God! God.

I do not wait for my heart or breath to resume normal
rhythms before calling the airport. I am still panting when I change my
flights. I can almost speak normally when I call the last venue, canceling my
engagement. I’m done. My artwork will have to be displayed without me present.
My grand moment as an artist suddenly doesn’t seem so important. The only thing
that does matter is my future with George.

George

I am both surprised and worried when Lin calls me from the
airport to say she has returned home ten days early. “Is everything all right?
Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, no. I can take a taxi, but I would like it very much if
you would meet me at your house. We need to talk.”

“I agree. God, I’ve missed you.”

“Do you mean that, George?”

“I really do. I’ll leave for my house now.”

“You aren’t at home?”

“No, I’m actually at the club.”

“Isn’t the club closed on Mondays?”

“Finishing touches before the grand reopening, but I’m more
than ready for a break and I will be at the house waiting for you. I can’t wait
to see you.” When I disconnect the call, I realize my penis agrees, having
grown hard with the thought of sex with Lin. I rub the outside of my slacks,
pushing it down, promising soon, and am glad for the privacy of my office.

I rush out of the office, not paying attention, and bounce
into a ladder set up in the hallway. I don’t realize what happened until I find
myself looking up from the floor. I’m seeing stars and there is a knot on the
top of my head. I press my fingers to the injury. No blood. A few feet away a
hammer lies on the ground. “Damn carpenters.”

Of course it is my own fault for being in such a hurry, and
there is no one in sight to reprimand for not securing their tools anyway. I
get to my feet and rush through the club and to the parking lot. If she has
already hailed a cab, I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t beat me to the house.

But as luck has it, we arrive at the same time.

I feel myself smiling. Smiling so wide it almost hurts. As
she climbs from the taxi, I see she is wearing the exact same expression. We’re
just two crazy kids in love. Except we’re both way past the first blush of
youth.

We meet in the middle of the lawn and embrace. We both say
at the same time, “God, I’ve missed you,” and then we barely make it into the
house with our clothes still on. We strip each other as we kiss and have fast,
passionate sex in the middle of the foyer floor. Neither of us takes too long
reaching climax.

“God, George. I used to go months without sex and think
nothing of it, but now two weeks without making love to you was unbearable.”

I kiss her. I know exactly how she feels, even though I
haven’t abstained from all sex, and I find myself in the middle of an awkward
moment. She pulls back and searches my face. I know she’d like assurances that
I was faithful, but I’m not that guy. “I have missed you so much, Lin.”

She smiles sadly.

“What’s wrong, love?”

She strokes my face. “Nothing. I’m just so glad to be back.”

“Isn’t this cozy?” Gigi leers from the doorway.

Lin stands quickly, jerking the hem of her blouse to hide
some of her nudity. I am more slow to rise and pull on my pants as they make
introductions.

“You must be the primary,” Gigi sneers, sticking out her
hand to shake. “I’m Gigi.”

Lin flushes and glances quickly from Gigi to me and back to
Gigi. She doesn’t take Gigi’s proffered hand. “My name is Lin.”

“Well, I guess I should say welcome home, Lin.” Gigi pulls
Lin into a rough hug and thumps her back soundly.

The meeting between Lin and Gigi is like the meeting of two
strange dogs. They give each other cautious glances, size each other up,
stopping only short of sniffing each other’s privates. There is an awkward
moment when two out of three of us are still mostly nude. “Can you give us a
minute, Gigi?”

“No problem, Master,” she replies sarcastically.

There are so many problems with her answer, even though she
promptly turns and leaves us alone. Complete obeisance would have been a
quietly murmured “Yes Master” but she is purposely baiting me. She wants to be
disobedient; she wants to be punished, making any discipline a treat rather
than a deterrent.

Lin quickly recovers from the shock of hearing Gigi call me
Master and masks behind a tight smile. When Gigi is finally out of sight, Lin
bends to collect the rest of her clothing. Her hand is shaking.

“We haven’t had sex.”

She meets my gaze, and I can tell by the myriad emotions
crossing her face that she longs to believe me. “I see.”

“She’s staying in the guest room until she can move into her
own apartment. She signed a lease yesterday. She’ll be gone by the end of the
week.”

Lin swallows hard. “She called you Master.”

“It’s a rule of the house.”

Lin dresses hurriedly, nodding, clearly thinking too much
about things she can’t possibly understand.

“She was afraid to go to her own place. I asked her to come
here. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to her because I was
less than charitable. Why do I worry about her? She ruined my life. I should
hate her.”

“You don’t have it in your being to hate anyone.”

“I sometimes feel like all of it was my fault.” I don’t know
why I admit that out loud, but it’s too late to take it back. “She was the
child, I was the adult. I made a mistake trying to get close to her.”

“Lives cross paths for a reason, George.” Looking into Lin’s
eyes, I find comfort. She’s so much more understanding than I would be if our
situations were reversed. She cups my cheeks. “The questions you must ask yourself
are whether you are better or worse for having known her, is she better or
worse off for having known you, and make reparations.”

“How’d you get to be so smart?” Stretching my neck, I kiss
her. “Is there any doubt why I’m in love with you?”

“I am no saint.”

“No, but you are the woman I’ve been looking for my entire
life. You see me. The good, the bad, and you don’t even flinch.”

“So I am important to you?”

“You are the most important person in my life.”

“She is even more beautiful than her photographs, George.
You should have told me.”

I pull Lin into my body so that she can feel the stiffness
of my erection against her thigh. “The photo you saw was of a child. She is a
woman now, changed in maturity, that is all. She is neither more nor less
beautiful than before.”

“It isn’t fair. She is blond and has eyes as blue as the
sky.”

“And you are an exotic Asian princess. I’m certain if you
asked her she would say it is not fair that you are so intoxicatingly
mysterious.” I drop my hands to her ass and pull her tighter against me. “You
are the woman I am thinking about fucking in this moment. Must I drag you into
the guest room and take what I want from your body in front of Gigi to prove
the truth to you?”

She gasps. “You wouldn’t!”

“Tempt me again and see what happens.”

* * * * *

Later, lying in bed, I watch Lin’s face as she rests against
the pillow. The room is dark, but not so dark that I can’t see her eyes are
open or sense her stiffness. “Are we going to discuss what’s on your mind?”

“There isn’t anything to discuss,” she replies icily.

I push up onto my elbow so I can look down at her. “You
canceled your tour, you came home early and you discovered Gigi staying in my
guest bedroom. I’d say we have plenty we need to discuss, unless you can
honestly tell me your return had nothing to do with insecurity and fear.”

“I admit to coming home early because my imagination was
going crazy and I did not want you to fall out of love with me.”

I laugh even though it is the wrong moment to do so. “I
wasn’t going to fall out of love with you. I’ve been waiting patiently for you
to forgive me—call me—make some gesture to let me know where I stood after our
fight.”

“My heart was full of jealousy,” she admits. “It still is.”

I bristle a little and she feels it but I have no time to
rebut because she immediately accuses, “You threatened to rape me in front of
Gigi to prove your love for me. That’s messed up.”

“It wouldn’t be rape,” I say threateningly. Stretching over
her, I turn on a small boudoir lamp, and she makes a sound of distress in her
throat that makes me immediately regret my harsh tone. I don’t want her to fear
me. A soft golden glow brightens a small area around us and allows her to see
my face. “It would prove to both of you how important you are to me.”

She sits up in the bed and her expression convinces me she
isn’t afraid of me. Squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin, she is the
image of a ready warrior—even naked and vulnerable. She surprises me more and
more.

“I am here to face my demons, and I want to be with you,
George, every part of you. The Doctor Psycho you. The polyamorous you.”

I narrow my gaze.

“I mean it, George. Call it an epiphany.”

“An epiphany?”

“The only way we are ever going to be happy together is if I
come to terms with what your polyamorous nature is going to mean to our
relationship. Whether you go on dates or whether we participate together in a
ménage. I also have to define my role. Do I want to date others? Do I want to
participate at the club? Would I enjoy being part of a threesome? Because I
don’t know, I really don’t. Before meeting you, I never even considered such
things.” She meets my gaze. “I want to watch you with her.”

I’m truly left speechless. “I don’t know that I want to have
sex with Gigi.”

She gives me a hard look. “You might not have had
intercourse with her, but you have topped her while I was away. She calls you
Master.”

I won’t lie to her by denying it. I also won’t admit
anything.

“Can you see yourself in a long-term relationship with me?”

It’s far too easy. I imagine her living here. I imagine
children with dark hair and almond-shaped eyes. I whisper, “Yes.”

“Do you have a way for me to watch you topping Gigi?”

I force myself not to squirm uncomfortably. “I have a
surveillance system that links to all of the rooms.”

“Then what’s the problem? You top Gigi, I watch, and from
there we will face that I either can deal with this or not.”

“That’s oversimplifying things a bit.”

“But it’s a start in the right direction, right?”

I can’t argue with her logic, but I feel compelled to make
her see the bigger picture. “Let’s assume you are okay watching me with Gigi,
what do you see as the next step?”

“The next step?”

“Would you consider joining us for a threesome?”

Lin reacts predictably, dropping her face and shielding with
her hair.

“And if you found yourself actually enjoying yourself in a
threesome, would you consider forming a ménage?”

She slowly meets my gaze and I don’t see the disgust I
thought I would reflected in her eyes. She licks her lips. “How am I expected
to know the answer to such questions?”