Voices of Islam (137 page)

During the period of my fieldwork, nobody recalled any
fatwa
-related incidents or disputes having occurred in the recent past. However, a number of incidents resulted in the convening of a
shalish.
One
shalish
was convened against the female folk singer of the village. She described this dispute, which occurred some years previously, in the following words:

When I started a
jalsa
(a session of religious and folk singing) in the front yard of my house, and when I started participating in
jalsas
in other villages, our
matbars
organized a
shalish
against me because of my alleged shamelessness. They said that my behavior was causing harm to the honor of our village. They asked my husband to bring me before the
shalish.
We went there. They asked my husband many questions, and later directed my husband to divorce me. But my husband played a trick. He told the
matbars
of the
shalish
that he would follow their direc- tive, but that he needed some time because we have small children. Then we fled, first my husband and then I. I spent so many days in
parabash
(exile)! I returned home, and so did my husband, when everything cooled down.

PERCEPTIONS OF POWER

Men and women are perceived as separate beings in rural Bangladesh, and each of them has a separate domain for decision making. A woman is not supposed to interfere in men’s affairs, and a man is not supposed to interfere in women’s affairs. The female folk singer who organized a
jalsa
session in the account reproduced above transgressed such a boundary. Familial and social relationships are thought to be based on religious directives, although such ‘‘directives’’ often contradict the actual teachings of the Qur’an. Females in rural Bangladesh are seen as the shadows of their male counter- parts within the institutional framework of the family (
paribar
). The identity of a woman as an independent, autonomous self is hardly recognized in this male-dominated society. According to one of my male informants:

From the very beginning of creation, Allah created Adam as a male, not as a female. Therefore, males are Allah’s preferred creatures. To ease the loneliness of Adam, Allah created
Hawa
(Eve) from Adam’s left rib. Thus, Hawa is a part of Adam’s body. Hawa’s prayer was synonymous with providing pleasure to Adam. (Note: The Arabic root of
Hawa
is related to the word for passion.) Thus, Hawa’s first priority was not to satisfy Allah but Adam. The same is true in the family. The wife’s first priority is to make her husband happy, this is her prayer. She should wipe her husband’s wet feet with her hair the way
Ma
(mother) Fatima (the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad) used to do for her

Islam, Culture, and Women in a Bangladesh Village
47

husband. It is better for a wife to offer her husband one
khili
of
paan
(betel leaf and nut) with a smile than to offer
nafal namaj
(supererogatory prayers) throughout the night.

Often, a woman’s perception of the role and status of other females is even harsher than that of a male. A female informant characterized the ideal woman and wife in the following terms:

The ideal woman is she who takes care of her husband, children, and in-laws. Taking care of her husband is everything for her (
shamir shebai tar shabkichu
). This is because the wife’s heaven is located beneath the feet of her husband (
shamir paer niche strir behest
). She does everything she can to ensure happiness of her husband. The ideal wife is she who keeps a rope (
dori
) ready in case her husband wants to tie her up, and who keeps a cane (
bet
) ready in case her husband wants to beat her.

Although marriage provides a form of shelter for the wife, she holds a position in the family that is not equal to that of her husband. ‘‘It is [my hus- band] who brought me here. Allah made him superior to me, Allah made the husband superior from the day of creation. It is my sacred duty to obey him,’’ said one of my female informants. Another female informant said, ‘‘It is [the husband’s] family, [the husband’s] children, and [the husband’s] wife, so it is his responsibility to maintain the family.’’ Another female informant said, ‘‘For me, power means the one who has wealth, the one who has power [over others]. One who has the ability to run a family is powerful.’’ Another view expressed by a woman informant is as follows: ‘‘The male is superior (
purush boro
) because he gives everything to his wife during marriage. He ensures her
parda,
keeps her in honor, and provides for her food and clothes. If these are his responsibilities, then is he not superior? To me he is superior.’’ Another informant noted, ‘‘The husband has the power because he has wealth, land, and money. He can go anywhere; it does not matter whether it is day or night, evening or morning, hot summer or cold winter. But I cannot do so. It is Allah who gave this power to husbands.’’

The majority of informants held that power (
khamata
) is the ability of a person or a group to act autonomously. Sources of
khamata
might be wealth, education, or political connections, but overall, the real source of all power is Allah (
sakal khamatar malik Allah
). It is Allah who makes one person power- ful and another person powerless. Among men and women, the men are blessed with power by Allah. A major reason for this blessing is the division of labor, which is viewed as a natural, unchangeable condition, in which men provide food and wealth for the family and the women take care of the home. As one female informant explained:

Power came from Allah. He gave this to us to cultivate land so that we could survive. Allah asked us to do this, to cultivate in order to survive. Allah gave this power to males. Allah said, ‘‘I am sending you to the earth to cultivate it. You will earn according to your ability.’’ Thus, the male is the owner of the family

48
Voices of Life: Family, Home, and Society

(
shonsharer malik
). He is the guardian. I am also an owner, but a minor one; he is the major owner. It is natural that he enjoys more power because he is a man; it is also natural that I enjoy less power because I am a woman.

The statuses of men and women and their perceptions of power in the rural Muslim communities of Bangladesh were first described and analyzed by Thorp nearly 30 years ago. The subjects of his study, like my informants, perceived that men and women are descendants of Adam, who was created by Allah out of the earth in order that man might possess the earth and be its master (
malik
). Because of this, the person who possesses land is most like Adam and thus is a perfect individual. Thorp maintained that rural people in Bangladesh believed that Allah created
Hawa,
Adam’s wife, from Adam’s body as an autonomous creature, although she is dependent on her husband. Because Hawa was created from Adam, a male
malik
considers his wife part of himself. A husband and a wife are equal partners in the reproductive process, and a wife might become
adhikari,
‘‘masterful,’’ by inheriting lands. However, Thorp observed, ‘‘A wife is not her husband’s equal in the political or economic fields, or in the field of public religious activity. However, she is considered to have equal authority (
saman adhikar
) in intra-family affairs.’’
37
As a ‘‘junior partner’’ with her husband in ownership—to use the metaphor employed by one of my female informants above—the most important external power that is theoretically possessed by the wife is her ability to sell or mortgage her land. Thorp, whose position on women’s power and autonomy in rural Bangladesh is more optimistic than my own, comments:

Women are capable of assuming and carrying out the responsibilities of
maliks
[owners] because they share the same fundamental constitution as their hus- bands. The dominant element in their constitution, like that of their husbands, is earth, with the strength and skill (
sakti
/
khamata
) it contains. Their creation is dependent upon receiving part of a bone from their husbands, but with it they receive the basic capacity and talent (
khamata
) that distinguished Adam from all the things whose names he learned and from the angels as well.
38

Despite Thorp’s optimistic view of the theoretically equal nature of men and women in rural Bangladesh, my research reveals that a woman may have the right to inherit land and dower, and to manage properties and household affairs, but that such rights are ascribed primarily within the purview of her male-dominated household. Even in religion, women’s social space is starkly separated from that of men. A woman’s identity is ascribed as a daughter, a wife, a sister, or a mother, but not as an
Imam,
a religious teacher, or even a religious singer. One also finds that religious leaders and local landowners, who for the most part are men, act together in the determination of family and community affairs through institutions such as the
shalish.
Such institutions are powerful supports for the assumption of male power and dominance. Above all, it is the ownership and autonomous disposition of land that gives a
malik
mastery over the family and eventually over the

Islam, Culture, and Women in a Bangladesh Village
49

community. Religion provides the moral justifi n for such mastery by influencing prevailing notions of right or wrong, good or bad, or proper or improper.

Marriage in Islam is a civil union between a man and a woman. Marriage has three salient characteristics: (1) a contract, (2) consent of the groom and bride, and (3) payment of
mohr
(dower) by the groom to the bride. An Islamic marriage is not a sacrament; rather, it is a civil contract between a man and a woman that creates a relationship between them.
39
If any one of the partners breaches the contract, the marriage could be dissolved. In the culture of Bangladesh, marriage is regarded as a union of two individuals as well as of two families, legalizing intercourse and the procreation of children. According to Hanafi jurisprudence, the free consent of the man and the woman is obligatory to make this union legal. Payment of the
mohr
(dower) to the wife by the husband is an integral part of a marriage, and this payment is an obligation for the husband. For a married woman, the right to receive and keep the
mohr
is a source of self-esteem. Shahla Haeri holds that Islamic marriage is a contract that involves a sort of ownership by a man over a woman’s reproductive organs in exchange for the dower that a man pays to a woman.
40
Kecia Ali has argued, according to early Islamic jurisprudence, ‘‘Marriage is a bilateral transaction that establishes unilateral control’’ by the husband over the wife’s reproductive capabilities.
41
‘‘In marriage, the dower is exchanged for control (authority, ownership:
milk
) over the wife or, more particularly, over her sexual organ.’’
42
Thus, the belief in Bangladesh that a man has majority ownership over the marriage partnership is consistent with the reasoning of Islamic jurisprudence. However, from the participant observation and interviews I conducted in 2005, it appears that Muslim women in rural Bangladesh are either not conscious or not fully aware of their right to a contract, their right to free consent to the marriage, and also about their right to dispose of their own property within a marriage.

In rural Bangladesh, the notion of a woman’s agency is centered on her reproductive capacity. A woman receives recognition as a full individual only after her first pregnancy. She receives another level of recognition if she bears a male child. It is believed that women are responsible for conceiving male or female children. Restrictions that are imposed upon the woman by social customs or religious beliefs are taken for granted. She expands her agency by taking on responsibilities in her family within these socially recognized parameters. On the other hand, husbands are expected to provide adequate income and protection. One of my female informants argued, ‘‘No woman wants to work outside her family. It is men’s duty to keep their women inside, within
parda.
What a woman wants is husband (
shami
), family (
shongshar
), and children (
chelemeye
).’’

Regarding the wife’s place among her husband’s family, another female informant said,

50
Voices of Life: Family, Home, and Society

Because I came to a man’s home I have to obey him. He did not come to my home; rather, he brought me to his home; hence, he is superior, so I have to obey him. First comes the husband, then come other worldly matters. I have worked very hard, but I have never considered leaving my husband and marrying somebody else to avoid these hardships. I told myself, ‘‘Well, this is the only marriage I will have. I will die one day, so let me pass through this life.’’ One can- not throw away her husband. After all, he is the husband. One cannot leave her husband if she has faith in religion. I am following the religion. Let me pass this life in my husband’s home.

In rural Bangladesh, Islam determines the boundaries and spaces of interaction between males and females through the institution of
parda.
According to my informants, Allah predetermined the spaces of social interaction for both males and females. However, from Rozario’s (1992) research in another rural community of Bangladesh, we find that Hindus and Christians also observe
parda. Parda
is thus part of Bengali culture irrespective of religious orientation.
Parda
existed even before the advent of Islam in Bangladesh. The practice of
parda
differs among women on the basis of their economic condition, education, and religiosity. However, it is widely perceived that a woman’s world is different from that of a man. In rural Bangladesh, a woman’s world is supposed to consist of her family, irrespective of her level of education or wealth. Her legitimate goals are getting married, having children, and nurturing the family. The ability to accomplish these goals constitutes a sort of power, although it is limited in scope. Religion helps the woman become a better wife, a better mother, and a better member of the family. It gives her confi e in her role and a feeling of strength. On the other hand, education, wealth, and external sup- port may help a woman gain a stronger position in the family and may even expand her influence beyond the family. For the rural women I interviewed, power means the ability to accomplish goals and influence others. According to one female respondent, males have the ability to influence others because ‘‘earning is the sole responsibility of the male. A female cannot earn, and thus males are powerful. This is also the directive of the religion. Religion also asks us to worship males.’’