Visions (10 page)

Rather than making me feel better, her words made me feel completely impotent and depressed.

15

I was released the following afternoon and told that if I felt up to it, I could return to work after the weekend. The doctors were bothered by the fact that they couldn’t tell me if or when I would have another episode, and had prepared a letter for me to take into work, explaining the situation. If it should happen again and I could not be brought out of the trance, an ambulance could be called and they would take me in again for further tests.

My mum took the day off work and drove me home, where she sat with me for the full afternoon before popping out to bring us back a pizza takeaway. I didn’t have much of an appetite, especially since Morgan had texted me to tell me that Amelia had not turned up to school again today, and that Carrie could not get hold of anyone at home. I’d carefully timed my phone call to coincide with morning break. Morgan had got the message from Theo last night and driven past the Carr house herself. The house was completely in darkness. She planned to go again after school, but with Carrie joining her so that she could knock on the door without raising too many questions. Carrie had already had a lot of interaction with Amelia’s mum prior to the stepdad coming onto the scene. She would text me again later to let me know if there was any change in the situation. But by this point, I felt sure that Amelia had already been hurt.

After we’d filled up on pizza, my mum offered to stay over. She

looked so offended when I declined that I quickly changed my mind and went to make up the spare sofa bed. Despite the circumstances, her wanting to pick over everything that I’d ‘seen’ recently and the fact that she wouldn’t even let me have one glass of wine, we had quite a good time. I updated my pad, making sure that I got every detail of the room that it had taken place in, what Amelia had been wearing, and where Mr Carr had been standing. In the morning, Theo phoned to see how I was getting on. He deliberately kept his distance on Friday claiming he didn’t want to step on my mum’s toes. We had a short chat arranging for him to come over so we could spend the afternoon together.

“What time is he coming?” my mum asked.

              “Around one-ish.”

              “I’ll stay until then,” she decided.

I felt like telling her I didn’t need a nursing crew to take shifts watching me in case I zoned out again, but didn’t want to ruin the time we’d spent together, so I kept quiet.

When Theo arrived, my mum immediately asked whether he was planning to spend the night. Theo looked intensely uncomfortable. “I’m only asking so that I know someone is with Gill. I think it’s important she isn’t alone just for another night. Maybe you could ask Morgan, Gill?”

I wondered whether she could possibly be any more embarrassing. There I was, standing in the living room of my very own house, and I felt like a sixteen- year-old girl that had brought her first ever boyfriend home and was getting humiliated by an overzealous mother.

              “No, I don’t mind staying. I just hadn’t considered it, that’s all,” said Theo,

looking distinctly uncomfortable.

              “I have a sofa bed. It’s quite comfortable, isn’t it, Mum?” She nodded in response. “Anyway, Mum, what are you up to this afternoon?” Anything to change the topic!

              “I’m going to nip down to the bookshop, have a read, and do some paper marking. Not very exciting but such is life,” she chuckled, gathering her things together. When she’d left, leaving a whirlwind of tension behind her, I apologised to Theo.

              “She can be very embarrassing!”

              “Wait until you meet mine,” he commented and then blushed, realising what he was suggesting.

              “I’ll make us some tea, shall I?” I asked.

              “Yes. It can replace the foot that’s currently in my mouth!” He laughed. I loved the sound of his laugh; it made me feel carefree for the time I heard it. “I spoke to Dr Cornwell this morning.”

              I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrow.

              “She’s a pain in the neck, but she is a very good doctor. She’s thorough. She’s had a good look at your MRI scan and there is no obvious sign of scarring. She couldn’t see any abnormalities at all, even comparing it to the CT scan. There wasn’t any difference between the two. Of course, you’ll be informed of all this by your GP anyway, but I wanted to tell you as soon as possible. It doesn’t necessarily rule out epilepsy as being the cause of your visions but it’s a good sign. Thank you,” he said, as I handed him a mug of tea and offered him sugar.

              “When I think of epilepsy, I can’t help but think of people flailing around, having spasms. On telly, when they show fits, the people aren’t in control of their bodies, yet mine aren’t like that. I stay perfectly still.”

              “Ah, but firstly,” he explained, “there are different types of epilepsy. We were thinking that you may have what is called complex partial epilepsy. When people with this condition have seizures, they lose their awareness of their surroundings. To watch, the person will have a blank stare, as though day-dreaming, but you can’t snap them out of it. Sound familiar?”

              I nodded. It did.

              Theo continued, “There are lots of people who actually have this type of epilepsy who are misdiagnosed as having mental illness or who are avoided on the streets while they’re experiencing an episode because people think they’re drunk or on drugs.”

              “Oh my God! But I haven’t got that, right?”

              “Your CT scan showed no signs of it, but that’s not one hundred per cent accurate. Anyway, as I was saying, your experience of the episode or vision is completely different to what others see. Obviously they don’t see what you see, but they will see how your body reacts. The paramedics said you were swallowing over and over as though you had something stuck in your throat and you were wringing your hands, as though washing them repeatedly, but you wouldn’t know that you were doing that. Repetitive actions are a classic reaction to a complex partial epileptic seizure.” He wasn’t making me feel any better.

              “I’m guessing that seeing the future isn’t a classic symptom, though?” I tried to keep the sarcastic edge out of my voice but was unsuccessful. It made him flinch. “Sorry. It’s just all so clinical and cold. I guess I always thought of my brain as being part of who I am, but now we’re talking about it as though it is a faulty piece of equipment.”

              “No, I’m the one who should be sorry,” he said, succeeding in making me feel

even more guilty. “We’ll talk about something else completely. So . . . what’s your favourite animal and why?”

              Despite myself, I laughed. “I think it’s a dog, which I know is an un-exotic answer.”

              We continued asking each other questions about our likes and dislikes, enjoying getting to know each other. I put some music on and was pleased to find that he liked my slightly cheesy collection; or at least he didn’t complain. When we got bored of talking about music, I pulled an old pack of cards out of the drawer and we played rummy. Neither of us mentioned getting out of the house. We were fine sitting at the dining table in my little kitchen. In fact, I was enjoying his company so much that when the doorbell rang, I had to fight the urge to suggest we ignore it. When I answered, though, I was glad we hadn’t. It was Morgan and she had brought flowers and grapes.

              “See, I’m fully equipped with gifts that sick people like!” she said, cuddling me and kissing my cheek.

              “I’m not sick as such,” I replied, stubbornly, “but the flowers are beautiful and I love grapes!”

              “Well, Miss Gordon, you are quite the celebrity at Logford High! You must be the main subject for gossip with the kids. You should hear some of the dramatic stories being told about you being whisked away to hospital in the back of an ambulance. Did you know you were at death’s door?”

              I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m going to be embarrassed coming back.
.
”

              “Don’t be daft! Your year eleven class are in pieces over it, especially George. Most of them came to see me to ask if there’s any news on your recovery on Friday. George was worried that they had caused you to be ill in some way. You know what an absolute dear he is!”

              “Poor George!” I tutted. “Have you heard anything about Amelia yet?”

              “No, unfortunately. The office has phoned home and both listed mobile numbers but got nothing. There’s been no response to the messages left. Carrie has driven past the house on numerous occasions now and we went together after school, but the house has stayed the same. It’s completely dark, no cars outside and no sign of life. Social Services have been alerted and they’ll be keeping an eye out for her, too, and trying to contact the family.

              “If she was missing alone, there would be a search out for her now but she’s not, so they assumed that wherever she is, she’s with her mum.” We discussed Amelia back and forth for a while. The mood had become very sombre.

              “So, Morgan,” Theo interjected, “why don’t you tell us about who you’ve got your eye on, then?” Morgan gave me a ‘I can’t believe you told him that’ look.

              “Well, if I tell you who it is, you can’t go telling anyone else,” she said, shooting daggers at me with her eyes. I crossed my heart for her to show my honesty. “Do you know Will Bennett?”

              I shook my head, trying to rack my brain. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t put a face to it. “He works in the Maths department with Hazel. Hazel says he’s such a lovely person. You must know who he is, Gill! He’s tall with floppy blond hair and big brown eyes…” Her voice had gone all dreamy as she was talking. If she were a cartoon character, we would have been able to see her heart bumping out of her chest.

              “I don’t know who you mean,” I commented. Surely, even with my attention focused on Theo, if there was someone at the school that looked like that I would have seen him by now, unless he kept himself well hidden.

              “I’ll point him out on Monday if you’re in,” she promised.

              “I’ll be in. Does he know?”

              “No. He probably has a really beautiful girlfriend or maybe even a wife. Besides, he doesn’t seem to be very sociable. He rarely chats in the staffroom. He keeps himself to himself, you know? He’s really motivated, according to Hazel. Some nights he works until the caretaker kicks him out to lock up the building and then he takes stuff to do at home as well.”

              “He sounds like Mr Amazing!” I commented, earning myself a mock-jealous elbow in the ribs from Theo.

              “He is, so hands off! If he’s single, he’s mine!” she exclaimed with a giggle.

              After Morgan had she had gone, Theo and I watched a bad horror movie that was unintentionally more comedic than frightening. Despite the appalling lighting and silly acting, I allowed myself to relax and get into the story line. It helped me to take my mind off of Amelia. As I was watching the beautiful but unintelligent lead actress go down into the cellar to investigate the strange noise disturbing her television viewing, I realised that Theo was staring at me. I glanced round and he looked away immediately, letting out a longer breath than was normal. I realised that he was relieved.

              It crossed my mind that it was more likely he was watching to see if I’d gone into a trance because I hadn’t moved for a while, rather than staring at me in a love-struck way. There was no way to tell for sure, but any thoughts I’d had of asking him to share my bed that night had disappeared. It was too soon, anyway, but it had been tempting. Now, I decided, I needed to wait longer to ensure that his interest in me was what he’d claimed and not completely to do with my fascinating unexplained medical condition.

              Luckily, going to bed wasn’t awkward. Theo graciously accepted the sofa-bed, tucking me into my own bed with a lingering kiss before he made the move to break off and leave the room. I didn’t know whether to be relieved at his blatant gentlemanly behaviour or disappointed that he didn’t find me completely irresistible.

              It took me ages to drift off to sleep. When my mind wasn’t replaying what I’d seen happen to Amelia over and over, I was thinking about the fact that just a thin internal wall stood in between me and Theo. The last conscious thought in my mind was that I hoped he was lying there thinking of me, too.

16

In the morning, Theo was up before me. He brought a cup of tea to me in bed and told me that he had to go and get ready for his shift at the hospital. I assured him that I was fine. Looking at the clock and seeing it was only seven in the morning, anyway, I knew I’d probably drop back off to sleep as soon as he’d gone. My prediction was correct; after the front door shut, I drifted back off, leaving my tea to go cold.

              It felt like seconds later when the ringing of the house phone in the kitchen woke me up again. Despite forcing myself out of bed as quickly as I could, I still missed it. Then my mobile started ringing. In frustration, I tipped my handbag out, knowing full well that it would always be right at the bottom, hiding in a corner. I managed to grab it while it was still ringing.

              It was my mum, wanting to know why I wasn’t answering the house phone, how my evening had gone with Theo, was he still there, did I need anything and should she come over? I answered all her questions as patiently as possible, wishing I was still tucked up in bed. We talked for about fifteen minutes, while she tried to keep the conversation going but it was one-sided, really. When she reluctantly went, promising to phone later, I poured my cold tea away and made a fresh cup. Then I sat down with my new book and started to read. I hadn’t got past the first chapter when the phone rang again.

              This time it was Morgan. Feeling more awake now, I was able to run through

the same conversation but with a tad more enthusiasm. I even managed to ask a few questions about how she was holding up, drop in a few jokes about Will Bennett, and wish her a happy Sunday before I returned to my reading. Within seconds the phone started ringing again. I didn’t think I could take another conversation before I’d eaten some breakfast so I ignored it, thinking I would check the last caller number and ring whoever it was back later. Then my mobile started ringing. I didn’t recognise the number, but it was local.

              “Hello,” I answered politely.

              “Gill? It’s Theo. I’m ringing you from the doctor’s room. Amelia Carr is here. She was brought in late last night by the police.”

              My stomach actually felt like it had completely turned over.

              “Is she…all right?” I asked, knowing that she wouldn’t be there if she were.

              “No. Not at all
.
None of her injuries are life-threatening, but she’s in a really bad way. I’m not working on her ward but I’ve got friends who are, so I’ve been able to get some details. She’s definitely been beaten, Gill. There’s no way she could have sustained the injuries she has in an accident. My friend, Kevin, says there’ve been social workers in as well as police this morning. No sign of her mother or stepfather though, which is quite shocking. A woman called Carrie is staying with her at the moment.”

              “Is she going to be all right?” I took a deep breath waiting for his response.

              “She should recover, though I’m not sure about scarring. I popped my head in while I was talking to Kevin and her face is swollen up and bruised beyond recognition. She has broken ribs; Kev thinks someone has stamped on them. They’re checking for a punctured lung as her breathing is really laboured. They’re sending her for neck, skull and spine x-rays as soon as they can, but she really is in a lot of pain and that’s the worst thing. They can’t give her too much pain relief as they want her alert.”

              “Can I come and visit her?” I asked, already knowing the answer in my heart.

              “Not a good idea. There are a lot of people in and out who’d want to know what your interest is and it could be difficult to explain how you know so quickly without inventing some elaborate story. I shouldn’t really be telling you any of this.” At least Carrie was there with her; that woman was probably currently the most stable adult in Amelia’s life.

              “Can I tell Morgan?” I knew she would be desperate for news and would never forgive if I knew and didn’t tell her.

              “She’ll find out soon enough. Poor Amelia is the gossip of the hospital at the moment. It won’t take long for the local press to get hold of this and… you trust her, don’t you?”

              “Yes, I do. I’m going to ring her now. Can you keep me informed of what goes on? I know you’ll be busy. Maybe you could ring me when you finish?”

              “I’ll do my best. Try to take it easy today, Gill. I mean it, ok?”

              Hearing how much he cared in his words made me feel quite emotional. When I put the phone down, I couldn’t help but cry. Didn’t everyone deserve to have people care about them like that? I gave myself time to sob it out of my system before I passed the awful news onto Morgan and made her feel the same.

              The next day, Morgan and I had a chat before our teaching day started. Morgan looked as drained as I felt from our sleepless nights. Carrie had phoned Morgan on Sunday afternoon, but she ensured me that she’d acted as though she was hearing it for the first time. “It’s weird, but I didn’t really have to pretend that much. She started telling me about Amelia’s injuries and I started to cry again. That poor, poor girl! I was going to ring you back, but I thought I’d wait to see what was announced in briefing this morning. I didn’t want you to be more upset than you already were.” In briefing they had simply told us that Amelia had been found in a bad way and taken to hospital. They added that the police were putting her injuries down to an assault and that a man was being questioned.

              “I’m just relieved that they’ve got him in custody. That explains why he wasn’t at the hospital.”

              “You’ve got the wrong end of the stick, Gillian. It’s not Mr Collins they’ve in custody. It’s the young lad she stayed with last time. He’s called Stuart Eckells and they’re questioning him about Amelia’s assault. Once again, they found her at his place.”

              “But it wasn’t him, Morgan! It was Collins. They’ve got the wrong man.”

              “Calm down!” she hissed, pushing me backwards into her classroom. “What was I supposed to say? It wasn’t Eckells that assaulted her. It was her own stepfather who did it. I know this for absolute certain because my friend has these visions and everything she sees comes true…” She trailed off, putting her hand to her forehead. “God knows I believe you, Gill, and it pisses me off that the bastard who did this to her is still walking around somewhere while this lad who seems to have tried to help her is stuck in a cell, but there’s nothing we can do. We just have to let the justice system work this through and hope that it gets it right.” There were children starting to come on the hallways at this point so we had to leave our conversation.

              Going back to my form room next door, Darren Pierce walked past me with a smirk on his face. Though he didn’t look directly at me, I knew the look was meant for me. With all this worry about Amelia on my mind, I was relieved that he wasn’t going to be in class today. It took some of the pressure of. Corinne kept telling me not to take it so personally but with him, and him alone, I found that really hard because I did feel that a lot of his aggressive behaviour was intended to intimidate me.

              I was surprised to notice throughout the day that some of the other year eleven girls were talking about Amelia. They seemed to know what had gone on and I even heard the name Stuart Eckells mentioned a couple of times. Mr Briggs had probably contemplated needing to tell the pupils before it went in the newspapers. When he had informed the pupils, I would buy a card for her English class to sign. That would at least let her know there were people who cared about her.

              My prediction was right. In the afternoon, each year group was called in to an assembly where Mr Briggs informed them of Amelia Carr’s current medical condition. He told them that the police were investigating her injuries as an assault. He also requested that they didn’t talk to any press who may be hanging around the school over the next couple of days, as that may complicate matters for the police.

              All the year groups took it seriously and, considering that Amelia was not the most popular girl in the school, many of the pupils seemed very sympathetic; some of the year eleven girls, who I assumed must be friends of Amelia’s, cried silently into their cardigan sleeves. Mr Briggs then requested that all the staff meet in the staffroom after school for an update on the situation. Morgan and I went to join Hazel, who was sitting with the rest of the Maths department. I had a quick glance round to see if I could figure out which one of the male teachers was Will Bennett, but none of the men there matched the description Morgan had given. I surmised that he must be off sick and focused on what people were saying. Most of the conversations that I

could hear contained gossip about Amelia, making guesses about what had happened.

              Mr Briggs didn’t have to ask for silence when he entered the room. Everyone stopped talking and waited with trepidation to hear what he was going to say. “Thank you for all gathering on time,” he began. “Firstly, let me just reassure you all that Amelia Carr is stable, although her injuries are severe.” There was a collaborative sigh of relief that filled the room.

              “She has most definitely been beaten and on Saturday night when Amelia was found, the police arrested a young man called Stuart Eckells,” he continued. They have contacted us to make the school aware that Mr Eckells has been released without charge though they are still going to be monitoring his movements closely. I’m going to pass round a photo that they provided us with but, as he has not been charged with anything, we cannot display it. I want you to have a quick look, make sure you remember the face and if Eckells is seen anywhere within the vicinity of Logford, we are immediately to phone the police.”

              Hazel timidly put her hand up.

              “Yes, Hazel?” responded Mr Briggs.

              “Do they still think he did it?”

              “I can’t really comment on the police’s investigation because they only share so much information with us, mainly for the safety of our students. However, I don’t think they would have bothered informing us that he had been released unless they saw potential problems with the situation,” Mr Briggs explained.

              “Are we ok to sort out cards to take to the hospital?” Morgan asked. “I’d like to get her one from the form, and Gillian and I would like to get one for Amelia’s English class to sign.”

              “Anything like that would be really appreciated, I’m sure. It will show that the school cares and be good for Ms Carr to see, as well.”

              Mr Briggs’ last comment piqued my interest. If Ms Carr was now with her daughter, where was Mr Collins? Did Ms Carr really not know what was going on or was she choosing not to say in order to keep her boyfriend safe? Even though I had no children, I could imagine that my priorities would not be focussed on my love life if my daughter had just been beaten to within an inch of her life.             

              “We’ll get them done this week and find out when we can visit then,” said Morgan.

              Mr Briggs nodded kindly, and looked around to see if there were any further questions. He caught Carrie gesturing out of the corner of his eye, made his excuses, and left the auditorium with her.

              Morgan raised an eyebrow at me. “Looks like there might be more news to come.”