Violet Addiction (21 page)

“Violet, come out now or I’m coming in.”

I quickly fixed my hair and strolled from the bathroom, trying my hardest to wear a confidence I didn’t feel.

“What the hell is wrong with girls these days…” Cain’s words died off as he took me in. Cain always had been and still was far too perceptive. “Violet, what’s wrong?” His voice gentled as he pulled me away from the bathroom. I cast a quick glance in the direction of a group of girls who stood by the bar, staring at me with both shock and a little too much haughtiness. Cain followed my gaze but didn’t say anything.

“Nothing, I’m just tired and sick of this pretentious crowd. I think I might head home, but if you want to stay…”

Cain’s finger covered my lips. “Don’t even say it. There is no way I want to be here without you, and there is no way I’d let you go home alone, even if I did want to stay.”

We caught a cab home and were barely through the door before Cain began kissing me with a passion I was coming to know well. His reverent worshipping of me and my body had taken me a little by surprise to begin with. Having never been in a long term relationship, I assumed the hunger for each other would be quickly quenched and replaced with quiet, slow loving. If anything, Cain’s kisses and need for me seemed to grow, not diminish. And my desire for him was just as strong as the first time he had ever touched me. Tonight however, I felt dirty, tarnished, and unworthy. I wanted to shower in an attempt to wash away the filth of my sins.

“Get a room,” murmured a sedate Mya who sat at her laptop in the dimly lit living room. Cain chuckled, and without a word led me to my bedroom.

“I just want to take a shower,” I breathed, pulling my head away when he would have kissed me. Cain paused, his penetrating eyes carving a path under my skin and right to my soul.

“Don’t let the actions of others dictate how far you’ve come, Violet.” His whispered words were loud in the quiet stillness of my dark room. I didn’t want to hear them though; it was easier to accept the flaws in myself. His hands gripped my cheeks, and his striking blue eyes held mine. “I won’t lose you to the indifference of others.”

I took a deep breath, taking in the clean and wholesome scent of Cain. No cigarettes clung to his breath like they did with Benji. There was no heavy stain of alcohol on his breath, just clean, pure Cain Everett. Perhaps my sins might be better cleaned away under the masterful hands of Cain. I pressed him hard against the door behind him, kissing him with a desperation that made me clumsy.

“Slow down, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.

I took a deep breath and stepped away. “Strip,” I practically growled, and Cain smiled like a kid on Christmas morning.

“You didn’t say please,” he purred. I arched a brow, and he continued to stand defiantly still.

“Cain Everett, if you remove your clothes, I will drop to my knees, take you in my mouth, and blow not only your dick, but your mind. So
please
strip.” I put a little emphasis on the please, but I didn’t need to. He had already ripped open his button down shirt, buttons pinging off in all directions, and I only had to mention the word ‘blow’. Once he stood before me naked, I took in the impressive length of his body, his desire for me standing proudly to attention. I felt a silent thrill at being completely dressed yet able to garner this response from Cain. I sunk to my knees, and as promised, took him in my mouth. He groaned loudly, followed by a heavy thump against the door. When I looked up, his head was rested back, his eyes closed. I took him deep and sucked hard.

“Ohhhh fuck, shit, fuck…me.” He was completely incoherent, and I smiled, allowing him to almost slip from my lips before taking him deep into the back of my throat once again. I repeated the action several times, sucking and licking. Suddenly, Cain grabbed at his hard, heavy cock and pinched the head, pushing me gently to one side. “Motherfucker,” he growled, evidently trying to stave off an orgasm. Once he seemed to have control again, he glanced down at my smiling face. He shook his head and pulled me up by my arms. “No time for that,” he said, turning me around and pushing me forward so my elbows were resting on the bed. Dragging my long dress up my legs and bunching it at my waist, Cain lowered himself and nipped gently at one globe of my ass. I was laughing at how quickly I had managed to make him lose control, quite pleased with my efforts as he pulled my G-string aside and began to stroke between my legs. I couldn’t stifle the amusement over his obvious desperation. My laughter quickly died though when he replaced his hand with his mouth, and my long drawn out moan joined our restless panting. “I don’t have the patience to love you like I want to.” Cain rose to his feet and positioned himself at my entrance, thrusting forward with a short but sure stoke. Once fully seated, he wrapped his hands around my waist and began pounding into my body hard and fast. His skin was like burning fire against mine as he leaned forward, his teeth nipping gently at my shoulder. “See, baby, you turn me into a fucking animal,” he growled, pushing me forward with so much force that I found myself flat on my stomach while Cain continued to thrust and retreat, the sweat from our bodies meeting at Cain’s chest and my back. He didn’t stop, didn’t pause, didn’t alter his rhythm until I screamed into the bed, my orgasm tumbling through my body so hard and fast I didn’t have a chance to stave it off as Cain had done his own. This time, he followed, his own roar of satisfaction called out into the darkness of the night. When he finally collapsed over my body, I noticed the loud music coming from outside the door to my bedroom. I laughed and Cain groaned. “Damn, it feels good when you do that.” He moved his hips to accentuate exactly where it felt good. Rolling off me, Cain helped pull me up the bed and under the covers. After a long drawn out sigh, he dragged my back against his front and relaxed. “I don’t know what happened tonight or where you went in your head, but you should know, wherever you go I’m gonna follow.” I grabbed his arms and pulled them tighter around myself, as if Cain’s presence alone could fend off the feelings of worthlessness.

“I don’t want you to follow me there, Cain. My crazy is no place for you.”

Cain kissed the back of my neck. “Violet, you are my home, so if following you through your crazy leads me home, I’m gonna follow. Your crazy can live within the walls of my crazy, and we will be one big happy, crazy family.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue and I didn’t really want to. Cain’s words, as usual, fought back the hate that was a constant threat to my heart and sanity. If I was Cain’s home, he was most definitely the bricks and mortar that held us together.

My knee was bouncing in a cadence that put jumping beans to shame. Up, down, up, down, so fast my entire body shook with the nervous twitch. My palms were sweaty, and my stomach felt queasy. Never before had I felt so completely and utterly out of my comfort zone. The room was painted in a muted green with a few black and white canvases picturing innocent, sleeping babes. Information pamphlets on everything from baby transport capsules, hypnobirthing—which intrigued me but I definitely didn’t go near it—immunizations, and breast feeding hung from one wall. Speaking of breast feeding, a young mother with a newborn baby was proudly feeding her little bundle of squirming joy directly in front of me. I tried hard not to watch, unsure what the etiquette was in such a situation, but my eyes were constantly drawn back to the baby who suckled peacefully at his mother’s breast. Although a perfectly natural and beautiful vision, the thought of Annabelle feeding in front of Cain sent a now very familiar pang of jealousy through my veins. I shook my head, annoyed with myself and dragged my attention back to my phone that I pretended to be completely invested in, rather than freaking the hell out. The solid warmth of Cain’s hand lowered on top of mine, and he forced our fingers to entwine. Like all good gentlemen, he didn’t comment about the perspiration he had latched on to.

“I’m the single mother who’s going to have the life sucked out of her boobs; I’m the one who should be freaking out right now, Violet, not you,” mumbled Annabelle from Cain’s other side.

“I can’t believe you’re not uncomfortable with…this,” I quietly hissed back in her direction.

“Trust me, if they whip my legs into stirrups and start poking around down below, I will be anything but comfortable.” I just about swallowed my tongue, but Annabelle’s slight look of panic had me keep my mouth shut. “Really, that would be uncomfortable. If they do anything like that, would you both mind leaving the room?” She suddenly seemed nervous, and it didn’t seem right. Annabelle had been unusually happy about this entire situation since Cain and I had picked her up forty-five minutes ago. Her enthusiasm had been almost contagious, almost.

“Of course we’ll give you privacy. If you feel uncomfortable at any point during the exam, we’ll leave,” Cain easily murmured. Annabelle gave a satisfied nod.

“I can just wait out here if you like, even outside the building. I’m sure there is a café somewhere close by. Coffee, I really need coffee,” I rambled.

“No, you’re part of this team, Violet, and you are joining us in that room. Stop being such a baby.” A small bark of laughter escaped Annabelle’s lips. “No pun intended.” She shrugged at my incredulous look. “Having you here feels right. I’m okay with it, so you need to be okay with it, or you’ll pass your jitters on to my unborn baby.”

I tried hard to relax but was completely unsuccessful, and when a round faced, grey haired nurse stepped into the room and called Annabelle’s name, I just about passed out on the spot. Cain had to all but drag me down the long corridor and into the exam room.

“Oh, you’ve got an audience,” the nurse exclaimed, noticing Cain and I following.

“That’s the baby daddy and his girlfriend,” Annabelle said easily as she followed the nurse to a set of scales.

“You’re a surrogate?” the nurse asked, surprised.

“Good lord no, we’re…” Annabelle looked stuck for words.

“An unconventional family,” Cain helped. The nurse looked confused but not horrified.

“To each their own. We get all sorts in here, but as long as you love your baby, who am I to judge?” she said with ease. If I wasn’t already speechless, I would have been now.

The nurse went on to ask Annabelle a few questions about her diet, sleeping, cramping. Finally she had Annabelle climb onto the exam table, and we waited for the doctor. An Indian man with gentle eyes and a kind smile joined us, his white coat and stethoscope giving him away. He didn’t seem surprised to see Cain and me in the room; the nurse must have given him a heads-up.

“Annabelle, how are we doing today?” he asked with a low, calm voice.

“Nervous, I just want to know if everything is alright.” The doctor raised Annabelle’s top over her stomach, and I was compelled to look away and give her some privacy, but my eyes were glued to the tight round stomach that was definitely beginning to resemble a very pregnant woman.

“You’re just a little over twenty weeks, so we should get a good look at everything today.” The doctor squeezed what looked a lot like lubricant on her stomach. If he had applied it anywhere else, I would have bolted. He then began to run a smooth device around the skin of her tummy, watching a screen above our heads intently. After a little poking and prodding, he began to point things out. “There’s a hand,” he moved the device a little, “and another hand.” I couldn’t look away; my mind a tangle of disbelief as I came to the sharp realization that I was looking at a real baby, Cain’s baby. “Your baby looks healthy, two hands, two feet, ten fingers, and I’m fairly sure ten toes. Heart rate is perfect.” It was then I noticed the distinct sound of a rapid thump coming from a machine to Annabelle’s side. “Would you like to know the baby’s sex?”

“Yes!” we all practically shouted in unison.

The doctor laughed, and Annabelle smiled, her gaze settling on Cain who was gripping my hand so tight I’m sure the circulation had stopped long ago. I should have felt jealous at the tender expression they exchanged, but the fact he was holding me so tightly was reassuring, as if he needed me there, right at his side.

After a little maneuvering and muttering by the good doctor, he finally chuckled. “You have one very healthy baby boy.”

“Are you sure?” Cain exclaimed, his grip on my hand almost painful.

“That right there.” The doctor froze the video image and pointed to something that didn’t look anything what he was suggesting. “That is not a finger.”

A tear slipped down Annabelle’s cheek, and Cain released my hand to wipe it away.

“A boy,” she whispered.

“We’re going to have a son,” Cain replied, a little awe in his voice. This was the awkward moment I had been dreading. A moment where jealousy, disappointment, and fear rivaled with the utter joy of witnessing the growth of something so universally innocent and fragile. When Cain stepped back and engulfed me in a warm hug, Annabelle watched us with an unexplainable acceptance, and I knew I was about to join her with the tears.

“Think you’ll be able to handle another Cain?” Annabelle asked me as the doctor wiped away the goo from her tummy.

“I have some tricks up my sleeve,” I whispered, my voice tight with emotion. For a split second, I marveled at the continuing craziness that was my life. This baby had drawn Annabelle, Cain, and I together into a very unconventional family unit. I was healthy, sober, and precariously close to unparalleled happiness which made me realize this baby was not an inconvenience or something to be jealous of. He was to be treasured, and I’d be damned if I didn’t feel a connection to the unborn child.

“What do you think of this?” Annabelle asked, distracting me from the careful perusal of calming baby music CDs. Annabelle held up a tiny little jumpsuit designed to look like a minuscule tuxedo.

“I don’t think it will fit you.” I chuckled with a smile.

“Hilarious.” Annabelle smirked. We were shopping for baby supplies, just the two of us, me and Annabelle, alone. Annabelle had demanded a little girl time with me, sending Cain away to do whatever Cain does when he is effectively dismissed. He had graciously left me with his credit card, a kiss to my cheek, and a whisper to call if I needed anything. I have no doubt he saw the silent panic in my eyes as he dropped us off at the mall entrance. I have no idea what Annabelle was thinking by asking me to go baby shopping with her. Surely she had girlfriends she could so this with, even family.

“Why did you want me to come shopping with you?” I blurted out.

Annabelle looked outwardly calm at my question, but I still noticed a sadness in her eyes that hadn’t been there a few moments ago. She shrugged. “I thought you’d be all happy to get your grubby hands on Cain’s credit card. We can visit that cute little lingerie store we saw on the way in, and do a little pre-natal baby shopping for ourselves.”

“I have my own money, but I’m not adverse to spending Cain’s. He owes me a hundred dollars from a bet he lost last month anyway. What I don’t understand is why you aren’t with your friends and family at such a special time. Surely your mom would like to be a part of all this.”

Annabelle turned away and for a moment I thought she was going to ignore my question. When she finally turned back to face me, all the bravado she had been wearing today was gone and in its place stood a fragile and scared girl. “I don’t have all that many friends right now, Violet. My parents are strict Catholics, and I was raised in a community of other strict Catholics, so as you can imagine, my being pregnant not only out of wedlock but to a man who has left me for another woman isn’t exactly a joyous moment for my family and friends. My mom and dad are supporting me as best they can, but they are embarrassed by me. Being a single mother isn’t the blissful, perfect life they had planned for me. They are trying and they haven’t tossed me out onto the streets, but I’m not about to push my luck.” She grabbed another cute little baby onesie off the stand; this one had a small hood with cute little teddy bear ears. “What about this one?”

I couldn't help but laugh. The hurt I saw in Annabelle’s face had me racing to embrace her in an awkward hug. “Oh shit, I wasn’t laughing at you. I swear it, Annabelle. It’s just that Cain has an onesie almost identical to that one.” I pulled back to look her in the eyes. “If you don’t buy it, I will. He’s going to love it.”

“Oh,” Annabelle stammered. “Okay, then.”

I sighed and released her from the affection I seemed so inept at giving. “I hate to put this so bluntly, but screw your family and their righteousness. You are going to make a wonderful mother, Cain is going to make a wonderful father, and I’m going to make a wonderful…other…mother.”

Annabelle’s sad eyes lit up. “Other mother, I like that.”

“I hope you don’t mind me saying,” came an unfamiliar voice from behind us, “the jumpsuit is cute and all, but it’s highly impractical for a newborn. The hood can be dangerous when they are sleeping, and they’ll do that for the majority of the day for the first few months. It’d be better to buy it in a slightly larger size for when the baby is bigger and stick to warm, button up jumpsuits while the baby is little.”

Annabelle and I turned to stare at a man who watched us with a cute little girl swinging her legs in a stroller before him. He was a good few years older than both of us, with greying hair and warm hazel eyes. Older, but hot as hell in a Patrick Dempsey kind of way. He blushed at our silent attention.

“Sorry for intruding,” he said sheepishly. “But I made that mistake after Willow was born, bought the cutest outfits in threes. Shoes, hats, you name it, I bought it. I’ve got most of it at home, still in the packaging I purchased it in.” He automatically handed his daughter a sippie cup at her outstretched hand. “In fact, I’ve got a stack of stuff at home just sitting boxes, a crib, changing table, all sorts of stuff. I was going to give it all to Goodwill, but if you need anything, you’re more than welcome to go through it.”

Annabelle and I were apparently still speechless. It was me who recovered first. “Wow, that’s very generous of you. What if you and your wife decide to have another baby though?” The man rubbed the back of his neck, and an uneasy look crossed his features.