VINA IN VENICE (THE 5 SISTERS) (29 page)

Vina was silent during the ride to the Palazzo.  She didn’t say anything as he helped her from the gondola and remained tight-lipped on the short walk to their floor.  She didn’t even protest when he led her to his suite and opened the door, stepping back to allow her to enter first.  Meekly following him i
nto the living room, Vina shook her head when he asked if she w
anted t
o sit on the sofa, choosing instead to stand before him like a
criminal bravely awaiting her sentence.

“It’s almost midnight,” he said.  “Time for the masks to come off.  These,” Travis peeled his mask off then gently divested Vina of hers and set them on the coffee table, “
and
the masks we’ve been wearing ever since we arrived in Venice.”

Vina’s eyes widened.  “Wh-what do you mean?”

“I mean
,
we’ve
both
been
holding out, hiding our emotions,
allowing
misunderstandings
to snowball and using it as an excuse
not to talk about how we feel
for each other
.
”

“There hasn’t exactly been an opportunity to talk,”
she pointed out.  “We haven’t spent more than a few hours together for the past week.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.  I
never
should have let
it continue
.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to be with me,” Vina said so softly
and with such heavy traces of despair, it sent shards of pain slicing straight through him.

“
I’m sorry for that too,” he replied, “because it couldn’t be farther from the truth. 
W
hat makes our relationship so
unique and
special is that we’ve always able to talk openly
and honestly.
 
We’ve divulged things that we would
never
tell anyone else
because we
trust
ed
one another implicitly.  We shared
everything
; our hopes and dreams, our fears and insecurities, no matter how
trivial or
silly they seemed.  But we’ve lost it, Vina.  We let it slip away
, little by little, and I want it back.  I want what we used
to
have together.”

“
I wish…” Vina stopped and shook her head, sorrow etched in her beautiful features.  “
I wish it was that easy, Travis, but too much has changed.  I can’t go back to being just your friend
, and I’m not sure why you’d even want me to after the way I behaved tonight.”

“
Actually, t
he issue isn’t
so much
what
you said about me, but
why
you said it.”

Vina stared him, her eyes t
win pools of
raw,
swirling emotion
s
. 
She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

“Tell me,”
he pleaded softly.

Several seconds ticked by before Vina finally nodded and started to speak.

Chapter 14

I want it back.  I want what we used to have together.

Vina couldn’t erase those words from her mind.  If only it was
that
simple; if only she could rewind time and stop that first kiss, that first sexual awakening, that first moment when her heart opened the door and invited him in.  But it was impossible, and now Travis was waiting for an explanation that she didn’t want to give
.  I
t meant exposing
herself to even greater pain
and she wasn’t sure she could take much more
.

Maybe she hadn’t lost him to Stefana, but she’d lost him just the same.  Even the strong bond of friendship they’d shared over the years couldn’t be salvaged.  It would be too awkward…to
o
heart
-wrenching
to keep up the façade that she wasn’t madly
in love with him.  Cutting all ties with Travis was going to hurt, but
seeing him with other women
would be infinitely worse
.
  She wasn’t that strong.

And if what he said was true, if Travis wanted
to resume the relationship they’d had before, he wasn’t going to let her walk out of his life without a fight.  Unless she came clean and admitted how she felt about him.  He
’d
have
no choice but
to let her go then
.
  Oh God, she didn’t want to do this.

But you have to.  Just…take a deep
breath
and tell him
the
truth
.

“I don’t really have an explanation,” she
admitted, her voice thick with emotion
.  “At least not a good
one.  It was purely selfish.  I didn’t give any thought to Stefana’s feelings…or
yours, only my own.
 
I used things I know about you
and
de
liberately twisted the truth to make you look bad.”

Travis quirked one brow.  “Like elaborating on what a
womanizer
I am?”

“Well, you are!” her chin jutted up defensively.  “
You don’t exactly have a good track record where long term relationships are concerned.  Okay, so the part about using women and discarding them…”

“
Heartlessly
discarding them,”
he repeated Vina’s verbiage.

“I admit that was uncalled for, but…”

“And just for the record, I have
never
been unfaithful.”

“I know,” she mumbled, genuinely contrite.

Travis crossed his arms.  “And as far as I know,
you and I have
only slept together once.
”

“No, it was twice; the
first time was when
I had that horr
ible headache and the second was the night you…uh…drank a little too much.”

“Yes, but nothing
happened
the night you had a headache.
 
I’m not proud of getting drunk
,
and I’m not
trying to excuse my behavior because of it, but you must know I
didn’t
plan
on seducing you
.
”

Vina blinked.
  “
You didn’t plan…?” 
What was he talking about?
 
“Travis…what do you think happened that night?”

His arrogant expression slipped a few notches.  “Well, I…I
’m not sure how we ended up on floor, but it must have gotten pretty heated because
of the rug burn and bruised hip, and because
…” his voice trailed off.

“Because?”

“Your hair was splayed out on the carpet and you had the look of a woman who has been thoroughly kissed. 
I remember thinking how incredibly beautiful you were
and how much I wanted to make love to you
. 
I know things got out of hand, and I’m sorry if it wasn’t all you’d
hoped it would be.” 
Travis stopped talking, his eyes moving past her to stare vacantly at the wall for a few moments before he continued.  “
The truth is
, I don’t remember anything past that point.
”

“Is that why you acted so strange the next morning
?”

“
I was ashamed of the way I’d taken advantage of you, and disgusted with myself for being so inebriated that I had no memory of what I’d done.  And then when you told me it was regrettable…that it was over and done with so there was no need to dwell on it…” he shook his, expelling a defeated sigh.  “I knew I’d blown any chance I had
with you.”

Vina groaned.  “Oh, Travis, I wish you’d told me
all of this a week ago! 
You were so quick to agree we weren’t compatible as a couple, I thought you’d just been waiting for the opportunity to
call it quits.”

“And
I
thought you said we weren’t compatible because of my lousy performance the night before.”

A giggle escaped before she could stop it.  “I’m sorry,” Vina giggled again when Travis scowled at her.  “You weren’t lousy.  You weren’t anything at all.”

“That doesn’t sound like a compliment,” his scowl became more pronounced.

“Travis,
nothing
happened that night.  Apart from some very passionate kissing on the floor, that is.”
  Vina enlightened him about the chain of events, starting with how he’d wound up on the floor in the first place.

“So we didn’t…?”
he asked, looking tremendously relieved.

“No,
you were sound asleep when I hauled myself to bed.” 

Travis grinned. 
“Things might have turned out
very
differently if you hadn’t gotten up before I did
the next morning
.”

Vina’s breath hitched at the husky tone of his voice.  She
started
to ask what he meant, but there was no need for clarification; the
hunger behind his dark eyes made it blatantly obvious.  A low moan vibrated in her throat when he cupped her face in his hands and slowly lowered his head, torturing her for a few agonizing moments before pressing his lips to hers. 
Warmth flooded her body
, accompanied by a tingling sensation that emanated from deep in her abdomen and surged outward.

“Now,” he murmured against her mouth, “tell me why you said those things to Stefana.”

“I didn’t want you to marry her,” Vina replied in a breathless whisper.

“Why not?”

“B-because she doesn’t love you.”

Travis drew his head back.  “You mean, she doesn’t love me like you do.”

Vina tried to look away but his hands still framed her face.  “Travis, please…”

“Say it, Vina.  You’re in love with me.  That’s why you spent the past week with the Andollina brothers; not because you were attracted to any of them, but because it was too difficult to be around me
,
feeling as you do.  And you confronted Stefana because
you knew she didn’t love me, could
never
love me the way you do
.”

The truth.  Isn’t that what she’d promised herself…to tell Travis the truth so he would be forced to let her go?  Except…he wasn’t acting like a man who wanted to be just friends, despite what he’d said about wanting what they used to have together.

A small ray of hope illuminated her heart
, flickering for a moment before fear stamped it out
.

“Yes,” she spoke softly, her eyes misting with tears.  “I love you, Travis
.”  She brought
her hands up flat against his chest to prevent him from pulling her closer
and added, “But I don’t want to be.”

“I don’t understand.”  Travis kept his voice steady, but she could tell it wasn’t without a
monumental
effort.  She knew him so well; the
slight narrowing of his eyes, the way the
muscle in his jaw flexed, the
loose grip on her arms that tightened almost imperceptivity. 
All s
igns that Travis was battling his emotions
, signs Vina never would have noticed if there wasn’t such a powerful bond between them.

“Vina?”

She swallowed hard, only partially dislodging the lump in her throat.  “I’m…scared, Travis.”

“Of loving me?”

“Not of loving
you, of loving you too much.  Of being devastated when you toss me in the same discard pile as all your other ex-girlfriends.  Of losing you, knowing that I could never love
anyone
the way I love you.”
 
Travis’ soft laughter sharpened the dull ache in her chest.
  “
Please don’t make fun of me
,”
she
choked out.
 
 
 

  “You don’t get it, do you, sweetheart?”  Gathering her in his arms, he planted a tender kiss on her lips.  “
Vina…
you
are the reason there’s a discard pile, as you call it.  The reason I’ve never been serious about any of those other women is because my heart already belonged to you.  I’ve waited so long…a lifetime, it seems, to say this to you. 
I’m madly in love with you, Vina Moore, and have been for years.”