Vice (Tortured Heroes Book 1) (11 page)

“I know that. He made a call to set up the meeting right in front of me. I made my move and got your data.”

“The meeting you didn’t show up for?” Stan said.

“Why the hell are you busting my balls so hard? It’s my ass on the line down there. I’m telling you, the girl’s the wrong tree to bark up. She doesn’t know anything.”

“You willing to bet your career on that?” Stan’s eyes flashed.

I set my jaw hard. I knew how this looked. Hell, if roles were reversed and Gates were in my place, I know exactly what I’d think. I’d think he was in danger of fucking up my case by thinking with the wrong head. Shit. Except I knew I wasn’t.

“Just dump the phone,” I finally said. “We’ll take it from there.”

Stan leaned back in his seat, his expression weary. “When I said we’re out of time, I wasn’t bullshitting. Mayor wants a task force. You want me to spell out for you what’s going to happen if he backs me into a corner on it?”

He didn’t have to. If the corruption within the Northpointe PD ran as deep as Stan said it did, the mayor’s task force would ruin this entire investigation. They’d stomp through Devin’s bar and every other distribution point. Cyrus Marsh would just close up shop and wait it out. Maybe he’d sacrifice a low-level guy like Kinney to make the media happy. But then six months from now or less, it would be business as usual.

“I’ll get the meeting. I’ll reach out to Kinney in a few hours.”

“You think he’s not spooked by your no-show?” Gates asked.

I rapped my fingers on the table top. “Kinney’s the reason for the no-show. Faulty door latch was his fuck-up. I can lean on him again. I can still make it work.”

“Good,” Stan said. “I’ll leave the two of you to work out the details. I need to get my ass out of here. The longer I’m seen talking to you, the worse it is for all of us. But make no mistake, Jase. This is a now-or-never proposition. I need a break in this case. I need it yesterday. Don’t make me regret putting my trust in you. I’m the only thing standing between you and your badge. You ever want it back, you close this deal. We’re never going to have a chance to nail Cyrus Marsh like this again. If we fail, I’ll know exactly who to blame. I can do a hell of a lot worse to you than Lincolnshire did. Remember that.”

I swallowed bile and rage as Stan Lewandowski rose to his full height and slammed his fist on the table.

Meeting adjourned.

D
evin

“He did what?” I stood with my hands on my hips as Georgia delivered the news that would make tonight a potential fucking disaster.

“Called in sick,” Georgia said while tying her apron around her waist. “Relax though. Monday’s a slow night. You know that.”

It wasn’t that I disagreed with her. But Kinney knew better than to use Georgia to relay that kind of message. He also knew I was pissed at him about the basement door. Even as I thought it, a tingle of remembered pleasure shot through me. If Kinney
had
fixed the door, last night wouldn’t have happened. If he were here and knew about it, his gloating would be epic.

“Everything okay, boss?” Georgia cocked her head sideways and put a hand on my shoulder.

“What? Uh. Yeah. Just … yeah. I’ll deal with Kinney myself. You guys know the rules though. Sick days and vacation requests have to come through me. No exceptions.”

Georgia nodded and Leslie gave me a weak smile from behind the bar. They knew something was off with me. I’d need to do a better job fixing my mask in place. If they suspected anything between Jase and me, I’d never hear the end of it and it would undermine me with each and every one of them. I gave them a nod and headed back toward the kitchen.

That was a mistake.

Older and wiser, Floyd knew me better than any of the rest of them. I was far too obvious as I looked to the right, expecting to see Jase. My step faltered and I froze for an instant. Jase wasn’t there. I tried to cover. Lifted my chin and painted on a smile. The instant I did it, I knew that was the dead giveaway.

“Who the hell are you trying to fool?” Floyd said as he wiped his hands on a towel then threw it over his shoulder. He stood with one hand on his hip and the other resting on his beer belly.

I let out a breath and bit my lip. Floyd might know me better than the others, but he was also the most discreet and mature. There was no point trying to lie.

“He’s not here?” I pointed with my thumb over my shoulder to Jase’s empty workstation.

Floyd knit his ruddy brow. “It’s Monday, Dev. Jase’s off on Mondays. You need me to get him in here anyway?”

“What? Uh. No. We should be all right. I just forgot what day it was for a second.”

“Like hell you did.”

Floyd’s tone stopped me cold. He threw a towel down on the counter and crossed his arms in front of him. His nostrils flared, reminding me of a bull ready to charge. Something about me seemed to set him off like a red cloak.

“What the hell, Floyd? What did I do to piss you off this early in the day?”

“You’re careless. That’s what.”

“Excuse me?” My turn to cross my arms. I took two steps toward him and wished I had a ladder. I wanted to meet him nose to nose. A muscle jumped in his temple and his face reddened, nearly matching his flaming hair. He wasn’t used to people confronting him. Well, he could scare the waitresses, but he wouldn’t scare me. This was my bar and he worked for me.

He scratched his chin and shook his head. “It’s bad news. That’s all I’m saying.”

“What? Spit it out, Floyd.”

“You and that … dishwasher!” He pointed toward Jase’s empty workstation.

Stars swam in front of my eyes and I realized I’d clenched my jaw so hard I’d forgotten to breathe. Rage broiled through me and I took another step toward Floyd. This wasn’t like him at all. Floyd mostly kept to himself except when he was yelling at underperforming waitresses. But he’d been with me the longest. We never talked about my father, but the love between them ran deep. Floyd cried harder than either Mandy or me the day we buried him. I could appreciate his concern if it didn’t piss me off as bad as it did. I took a steadying breath.

“Look, I appreciate you worrying about me. But save it. There’s nothing going on.” I felt like a shit for lying. Especially since we both knew Floyd wasn’t buying it. But the simple fact was this was none of his ever-loving business.

Floyd shook his head. “Jase isn’t the kind of guy your uncle
or
your father would want you hanging out with and you know it.”

“What does that mean? What kind of guy? Hard working? In other words the complete
opposite
of my father?”

Floyd shook his head but didn’t say anything else. He paced in front of the line and picked up his towel, wringing it into submission. I’d known him long enough to know he was done talking. So was I. I wanted to tell him I really
did
appreciate his concern. Not many people in this world looked out for me. As wrongheaded as Floyd was right now, I couldn’t deny the sweetness of it too. I didn’t have time to tell him so as the bar was already starting to fill and Roy needed me out front. With Kinney gone he’d have his hands full. Floyd and I left it with a tight-lipped nod to each other before I headed out the kitchen doors.

The beer gods smiled down on me that night, keeping the place filled all the way to closing. I didn’t want to think about Jase or what happened last night. I just wanted the solace of hard work where I could shut my brain off and know exactly where I was needed. I almost got my wish. Almost.

Bar gossip spreads quickly. Maybe Georgia or one of the others overheard my argument with Floyd. Maybe Roy just assumed. But by ten o’clock that night, I’d borne the brunt of a dozen sideway stares, and winking thumbs-up from the waitresses. Leslie ended up being the one to actually come ask me straight to my face. I got the impression she’d lost a bet.

“Uh … well done, boss,” she blurted at the end of the night while I helped her fill ketchups. I heard a clang and a giggle behind me as Georgia clumsily tried to make herself scarce by racing for the kitchen.

I wouldn’t let her off that easily. “You too. You guys killed it tonight. That was nuts for a Monday.”

“Oh. Yeah. Thanks. But that’s not what I mean. You and Jase. Right?”

I screwed a bottle cap on and set it down hard enough to nearly tip the table. Leslie grimaced and flipped her palms up, shrugging.

“What about me and Jase, Leslie? What does everyone think they know?”

“Well … there’s a rumor going around that you and he … uh … well … that. Look. Anyway. None of our business. We get that. I’m just saying I think it’s great. It’s nice to see you, well, having a life. Outside of this place, I mean. We’ve all been a little worried.”

I opened my mouth to deny it, then clamped my jaw shut hard. What could I say? I knew I had to say something. Georgia and two of the hostesses poked their head around the kitchen door.

This was bad. Disastrous. I never wanted to be the center of
The Dive Bar
gossip mill. I was their boss, dammit. Ugh. And I was Jase’s too. This crossed every kind of boundary I tried to maintain. And I had no one to blame but myself. Except I bloody well couldn’t stop thinking about him, that’s all. Leslie seemed able to see it in my expression. Her smile widened and she reached out to squeeze my shoulder.

“It’s good, Dev. Relax. No one here thinks any less of you. We’ve all been secretly rooting for it. It’s been obvious from day one the two of you were into each other. You should see the way he looks at you. One hundred percent sexy alpha male. Georgia’s mad jealous.”

“Leslie, I …” I wiped my hands on my jeans and took a step back. How could I answer her? How could I maintain any semblance of credibility with any of them ever again? And for what? I still had no idea what the hell last night with Jase even meant. Or what I wanted it to mean.

“We’re done here,” I finally said. I meant both with the ketchup bottles and the conversation. Mercifully, Leslie got the hint. She gave me a weak smile and scurried back to join the rest of the cackling hens in the kitchen. My only saving grace was Floyd’s earlier departure. The last thing I wanted was another standoff with him about my sex life. I grabbed my keys, shut the lights, and locked the door.

My heart pounded halfway in my throat as I rounded the block and walked into my apartment building. Was Jase home tonight? Past one o’clock in the morning, he had to be sleeping even if he was home. I paused in the hallway, seeing a sliver of light beneath his door. I raised my fist to knock but then thought the better of it. It was late. I was keyed up. I hadn’t planned what to say to him.

I turned from his door to mine and back again. On the third pass, his latch clicked, shattering the relative silence of the hallway and piercing through me like a gunshot. I turned to face Jase.

He leaned casually in the doorway shirtless, his black drawstring pants slung low on his hips. He stretched one languid arm and gripped the top of the doorframe. His hooded eyelids blinked away the sleep as he focused on me and his mouth curled up in a sly smile.

“Good morning,” I finally said, smiling back.

“You’re making a hell of a racket out here.”

“Sorry. No. Really. I just got done for the night.”

He nodded. “Busy one?”

“Yeah. Actually.” I pointed with my thumb over my shoulder. “I’m just gonna head on in. I really didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Devin,” he said, dropping his chin and fixing those dark eyes on me.

I let out a breath. I was going to leave. I should have. But I was too keyed up to sleep and certain things needed to be said.

“Jase. Look. I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of anything. I swear to God. And I’m still not trying to. It’s just, there are ramifications, you know? Boundaries we should set.”

Jase nodded. “Definitely.” He shifted his weight; crossing his feet at the ankles and his arms in front of his chest, he leaned back against the wall.

“I’m not like that. I mean … how I was last night. That was … uncharacteristic. You work for me. Kinney, Georgia, all of the others. They have certain expectations. And they jump to conclusions. I’ve worked really hard to put a team together and get that place humming, you know?”

Jase raised a brow. “Naturally.”

“And you’re part of that. I mean. I hope you think you are. I don’t want to mess any of that up.”

“Devin …”

I started to pace. I had to get this out. Jase remained stoic, leaning in that doorway as if he alone held up the building with the strength of his back. The remembered feel of it beneath my fingertips flashed in my mind.

“Just listen. Please. People assume things about me. You know?”

“Oh?”

“And I know I kind of perpetuate their assumptions. They see the hair. The attitude. And that’s all me. It is. I’ve had to be tough, downright bitchy half the time. Otherwise people walk all over you. It’s just been me, by myself for so long, Jase. But I’m not what people think I am. I mean, I
am
, but it’s not all of what I am.”

“Devin …”

“What I’m trying to say is, despite what you might think, what happened last night was a rarity for me. I don’t just hook up. Like … ever. And certainly not with anyone from the bar. I’ve had exactly two boyfriends my entire adult life. Both huge mistakes. Both barely serious. Oh God. And I’m not saying I’m thinking of you as a boyfriend. I’m just, trying to give you some context. That’s all.”

Jase straightened, pushed himself off from the wall and took a step toward me. He caught me mid-pace with two firm hands on my shoulders. He turned me to face him. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip as I craned my neck. Then I opened my eyes. His held a glint of amusement in them as he stared down at me.

“What if I told you I don’t either? Randomly hook up, I mean. And I don’t have a string of ex-girlfriends.”

I took a breath to say something but words just flew out of my head. My cheeks puffed with air, I finally exhaled in a great sputter that made Jase’s smile widen.

“Okay,” I said. It seemed both woefully inadequate and somehow perfect.

“Okay. And you’re probably right. There are a million reasons why last night was a bad idea.”

“Right.”

“Except it didn’t feel like a bad idea to me. It felt … perfect.”

I squeezed my eyes shut again and kept them that way a beat longer than I meant. “Devin, look at me.”

I did. Jase’s eyes shone with wonder and an emotion I couldn’t place. Maybe that’s a lie. But right then, I was too scared to define anything.

“I want to kiss you again.”

“Okay.”

He didn’t. Not then. Instead, he kept his hands on my shoulders. We both seemed suspended in time, on the precipice of something big. For those few beats before either of us moved, I think it settled in for both of us we could never take it back. Last night was different. Pitch dark with an air of adventure. This was different. We each had our eyes wide open.

Then Jase leaned down. I rose on my tiptoes to meet him halfway. At first, he came to me with the light press of his lips against mine. Gentle. Timid. A question. I slid my hands around his neck and gave him my answer. He kissed me harder. Strong lips. Probing. Urgent. So perfect. I felt that kiss all the way down to my knees.

We parted. My chest heaved as I fought to breathe. I felt like I could drown in him. I stepped out of his arms and placed my palms against his chest.

“Jase,” I whispered. His eyes glinted and he smiled down at me.

“Yes, Devin?”

I bit my lip and thought about how to say what I needed to. I should have turned and said goodnight. Because this
was
different. The lights were on and my eyes were open. But as Jase held me in his arms and I saw that a furious pulse beat near his temple, nearly matching the frenetic pace of my own, there was really only one thing to say.

“Oh, the hell with it.” I flung my arms around his neck again and let him lift me off my feet as we crashed through the open door to his apartment.