Vengeance (27 page)

I finally asked the question that had been boiling in the back of my mind since the moment he revealed himself to me. Over the course of days small bits of the puzzle fitted themselves into the whole until now I thought I knew. I wasn't sure if I wanted the answer, but I had to ask the question.
Who are you?

He raised his head. His pale blue eyes (so like my own, a little voice in my head said) stared at me, unblinking. I knew the answer before he gave it.

I'm you
.

That's impossible
. I spoke automatically even as I struggled to make sense of what he said. How could he be me? How could I be in two places, in two bodies, at one time? How could I be in two times at one time?

Remember--you died. You died thinking that you failed the person you loved. Persa. You were offered the chance for redemption and you took it. That's how it works. You came from the 22nd century, when penance and redemption were the norm. You were sent back in time, but that didn't alter the fact that you were...
He made that huffing noise I knew was his laugh.
I guess you could say you were "eligible" for penance. And you took the chance. In that split second when you died, you were offered the choice. And you took it. You chose reincarnation.

My mind was spinning. "But why were you sent to me here and now? Shouldn't you have been sent to 1790?" Then I shook my head. "I don't understand." Lucinda stirred in my arms and I soothed her, running my hand over her hair.

She looked up at me. "Nico?" Her grey eyes appeared drugged, sated with sleep and lovemaking. As I watched, her eyelashes fluttered.

"Sleep, love. I have you. You're safe with me."

She snuggled back with a moist sigh against my chest.

It's tricky. We had to get all the players in place--Meyer, you, Lucinda. It's not easy. Everyone serves a purpose, even Cara and John. They all had to come together in this place at this time
.

"It's God," I pointed out with an angry whisper. "Of course it's easy."

Nope. You'd be surprised. There's an order to these things. Even God can't mess with it. Anyway, suffice it to say, now was the time. I was sent here to be your Companion, someone to give advice, watch over you and Lucinda and make sure Meyer didn't get in the way. At some point, she'll start to remember her original life and her relationship with you. She's already started to remember it, in her dreams
.

His shrewd eyes watched me in the flickering light. I shivered, knowing he was right. Even though my logical mind couldn't make sense of it, my gut told me he wasn't lying. He was me, a reincarnated me, a me from the future.

You can't tell her about any of this. She has to ask for your forgiveness of her own free will. If you grant it, her penance will be served then you and she live out this life together.

"And if not?" It was a moot question and he knew it, but I had to hear the answer.

Then you both die with penance unattained. You'll be reincarnated later with no memories of each other. Is that what you'd do?

I looked down at Lucinda, huddled against me. "Never," I whispered. "I'd forgive her anything." I peered through the flickering light at him. "Can you tell me what will happen? You've lived my life, right?"

Not exactly. You and I have a shared memory until that day in 1790 when you died. I don't know anything about your life in the past two hundred years except what the History Patrol has been able to piece together
.

"Piece together? Do you mean they've been watching me?" Outrage flared through me. I started to sit up, but Lucinda murmured in my arms. I forced myself to calmness.
They've been watching and didn't do anything? What the hell do you mean?

You were part of the timeline once you came back to life. Because of you, a lot of people were saved during the Civil War, during that stint as a doctor. And don't forget the Spanish Flu epidemic when you were in England. You did a lot of good then. There's the work you did with Seymour Cray on the first supercomputer, the help you gave in Bolivia in the 1800s during the Liberation, your work for Roosevelt when he formed the National Park system, the Great Depression and your aid to displaced people, the American Civil Rights movement and today, your assignments for TATA. You've played small but pivotal roles in a lot of world events.

"You know about that? The Patrol knew about all that?" I had participated in many of the great events of the world in the last two hundred years, mainly in America. I wasn't a major figure by any means, just helping out here and there.
They've been watching me? Why didn't they extract me? Why wasn't I recalled?

You were needed. You saved some people who later went on to...or, rather, people who will go on to do things that...well, I can't give you all the details, but you saved some very useful people. Besides, it's not that easy to extract someone when the recall chip doesn't work properly.
He shifted, settling back with a sigh.
Believe me, that whole incident was investigated thoroughly. The recall chip embedded in a Guide's body is one of the things we rely on to make sure people don't decide to stay behind.

I shot him an enquiring look. During all the time-trips Persa and I had taken, I came to love 19th century America the best and had secretly longed to stay in that time. I hadn't even considered that it might be possible to circumvent the recall chip and get my wish.

It's not easy to extract someone if the recall chip fails. Time is fluid. Einstein was right, time isn't linear, it's...Time simply is. It's a concept that's hard for the human mind to grasp.

The mother cat, dozing in a chair near the fireplace, stirred briefly to regard us with sleepy eyes.
Humans. They don't understand anything
. Her disdainful glance flickered over to Lucinda and me, stretched out on the couch.
No offense
.

"None taken," I murmured. I mulled over what Cerberus said.
What happens to you when I forgive Lucinda and her penance is fulfilled?

That depends
. He stared at Lucinda.
You and I can co-exist in time, but not in space. We can't touch, even for a moment. If we do, we'll both die whether penance has been obtained or not. That's an irrefutable rule
.

I nodded. His skittishness around me now made sense.

Once she's asked for forgiveness and you've granted it, I won't be needed any more. I can return.

"Return?" I whispered.

He sighed so loudly I could feel it in my bones.
It's a bit hard to explain, but I think I'll simply cease to exist
. His mouth split open in a wide grin.
But I will continue to exist because I'm you, too
.

I closed my eyes. "I don't understand," I whispered.

Sleep
, he murmured.
It will make sense in the morning
.

But I need to know why--

Sleep
, he whispered insistently.
There are no answers tonight. Wait until morning. It will all be clear then.

* * * * *

Cerberus was wrong. It didn't make sense in the morning. Nothing made sense, least of all Lucinda.

She and I went to the bedroom in the early morning hours. I dozed, waking before she did. For a moment, I reveled in the feeling of her next to me, warm and secure in her double bed. A faded handmade quilt was tugged up around us, giving the bed a cocoon-like feeling. I've always preferred winter to summer, preferred night to day. This moment of pre-morning in the chilly spring dawn was a tiny bit of perfection.

Our evening had been full of what I missed. Love, lust and longing were sated, but I wanted more. I wanted years and years of Lucinda in my life. The perfection of this moment came from the knowledge that I would have her, now and forever.

I lay back on the pillow and examined my newly re-found love in the pale light of near-morning. Her hair was flattened somewhat, but still looped around her face in soft dark curls. Fine lines crinkled her eyes and she had the beginning of lines around her mouth. Unlike her sister, Lucinda probably never considered Botox or expensive creams to mitigate her age. While youthful, she still looked like a woman in her forties. I touched the downy hairs on the side of her chin, marveling at her softness.

One of Lucinda's arms was outside the bedspread and I saw the swell of her left breast as she shifted in her sleep. She was like a tiny Venus with her smallish breasts, plump little stomach and her strong, somewhat heavy thighs. Where Cara was an elegant swan, Lucinda was a sturdy, no-nonsense duckling--an honest, gentle, sweet duckling, but an inelegant one nonetheless.

Her passion had surprised me. I'd become accustomed to women who used sex as a status symbol, notching men into their proverbial belts and not allowing love to interfere with pleasure. While the physical act was satisfying, the lack of emotional depth made all relationships boring. Of course, I never allowed anyone to get close to me, deliberately choosing women who were shallow. I couldn't let anyone get close to me, for fear they might discover my secret.

This was different, though. I wouldn't need to lie to Lucinda. Once her memories returned, she would understand what happened to us both. We could be together far into the future, especially if I could convince her to use Meyer's concoction, which I had duplicated in my lab. We would have centuries together, centuries of love. I tried to envision day after day, waking up with her, making love and having all the time in the world to enjoy each other, all the time in the world to explore life together.

My body ached from her loving treatment. Who would have thought such a tiny woman could exhaust me like that? Parts of my anatomy were positively sore, but I knew those parts wouldn't stay sore for long if she just opened her eyes and looked at me. I longed to touch her again, to make love to her again, but I restrained myself. We had to face Robert Meyer today and I had to face Lucinda's potential assassin. Those necessities had to have priority over love.

Love. It was a word I didn't understand until now. I slipped out of bed and retrieved the Velveteen Rabbit from the picnic basket left in the kitchen. I put it on my now-empty pillow, then dressed and returned to make breakfast. We had a big day ahead of us and I wanted Lucinda to be prepared.

It's about time you got up
, Cerberus said, padding in from the living room.
Let a guy out, would you? I've gotta use the bushes.

He moved aside as I opened the outer door then the garage door for him. We were careful not to touch, probably laughably so, but I remembered his warning of the night before. I wasn't sure I believed his story but I wasn't going to take a chance. I wouldn't let anything stand in the way of Lucinda's redemption.

I turned on the tiny countertop TV and checked the weather forecast, discovering we were in for rain possibly changing to snow with a chance of ice thrown in just to make life interesting. Spring in Minnesota. I decided Lucinda could use the Jag until I could get her a replacement car, so I called my car valet service and told Mick to meet me at Delacroix Labs with the Porsche Cayenne.

"Oh and Mick, can you call Paul over at the Jag dealer? I need to buy a car soon and I'd like him to get a selection of X-types together for me." I reconsidered. Lucinda seemed fussy about cars. "Do you know any Subaru dealers? I may want a high-end Subaru instead."

There was a moment of stunned silence. "A Subaru?"

"For a friend."

"Oh. Sure, I know some folks. I'll call them and tell them you'll be in touch. Let me get the number for you."

I snatched a pen and paper from a stack near the phone and jotted down the phone number. "Thanks, Mick. I'll be at the Delacroix building in another hour or so."

"We'll have the car waiting."

I hung up, satisfied with that piece of business. Lucinda would need a car and I had several. She could use one of them until we could get around to buying her a new vehicle. I turned the volume down on the TV as paws scraped at the door. I opened it and Cerberus came inside, sneezing.
Cold out there this morning. It doesn't feel like Easter.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, peering into the fridge.

I can wait. I tried some of that cat kibble
. He made a retching noise.
It was pretty bad. Liver and chicken
.

I heard that
. The mother cat's voice drifted to us from the living room.
You leave our chow alone. You're a guest here. Don't take advantage of our hospitality
.