Vendetta (6 page)

He couldn’t help Eve right now, but he was determined to help Thena. Whatever was bothering her they were going to talk about it, tonight, before he left for something he might not come back from. For a brief moment he thought about Eve and the pain she went through when she lost Adam and for some reason he visualized the pain Thena would go through if she lost him. She wouldn’t even have the legal standing as his wife. His family would take care of her; he knew that, but knowing she would still have a family that loved her didn’t stop the ache in his heart knowing she would go through the same pain Eve suffered through, and was still suffering through.

He walked into Thena’s home office and saw her staring off into space instead of working. “We need to talk.”

“I’m busy,” she pretended to go back to her sketches.

“Pretending to work,” he said as he strolled over to her. “Because a blank piece of paper isn’t conducive to four hours of work, Thena.”

“Not now, Thomas, okay?” She stood and started to walk away. He took hold of her arm.

“Yes, now.” He steered her over to the oversized cushioned chair in the corner, sat down and pulled her down onto his lap. “What’s bothering you, baby? Talk to me; please?”

She shook her head no. “It’s nothing. I just need to get back to work. I have a lot to do.” She tried to move off his lap and he tightened his hold.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he said seriously, but calmly. “Eve has already pulled away from me.”

“Eve lost her husband, Thomas. She’s grieving, but she still loves you. You just have to give her some time.”

“I know she’s grieving. I experienced her grief first hand.”

“No. You saw her experience it. You feel pain because you know she’s hurting, but she feels a different kind of pain. One I hope you never have to ever truly experience.”

“Okay,” he said calmly. “She’s grieving and she’s pulling away from me, from all of us. What’s your excuse?”

“I’m not pulling away from you, Thomas. I’m just busy.”  She tried to get up once more and he held her firmly in place. She exhaled in exasperation.

“I don’t know what game this is you call yourself playing, but it stops here. What did I do to piss you off?”

She looked away from him. He placed his fingers on her chin and guided her head so that she was forced to look him in the eyes. What he saw was pain. He didn’t know what he had done to cause it, but he would move heaven and hell to make it right.

“Talk to me. Please?”

She nibbled on her bottom lip for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I’m pregnant,” she exhaled sharply as tears escaped her eyes. “I know you don’t want this. I didn’t do it on purpose. I mean, we used protection…” She tried to inhale through the tears. “I know you don’t want this, but there’s nothing I can do about it now.”

Pregnant?
She was going to have his baby?

“I don’t expect anything from you,” she tried to pull away once again and he tightened his grip.

“How far along?”

“I don’t know. I missed my period last month, which really wasn’t that unusual. I’m not like clockwork or anything,” she sighed. “I missed this month too and I took a test,” she shivered in his arms. “And I’m pregnant. I’ll figure it out. You don’t have to…if you don’t want to…”

“I’ll be damned if I’m going to abandon my woman and my child,” he heard the harshness of his own voice. He wasn’t in the habit of cursing around Thena, but the fact that she thought he would walk away from her, from their child, left him feeling a rush of anger and he didn’t know who he was angry with. Was he angry with her for thinking that little of him; or with himself for giving her the impression that he could walk away without second thought? “No way in hell.” He used the pad of his thumb to brush tears from her face. “Why would you even think I would?”

“You don’t want any commitments until you’ve finished what you need to finish. You constantly remind me of that as if I can forget why we’re not married, why you’re waiting to start a family. I know you don’t want a commitment to me, to marriage, to anything. A baby is a commitment,” she said. “I just…” she shivered in his arms again. “I know you’re not happy about this, but I can’t change it now. The only thing I can do is give you permission to walk away.” The tears came more readily now and the sounds of her cries broke his heart. She was willing to give him a way out because she thought she had to, that she needed to. There was no way he would walk away from her or their child. Even if he didn’t know this thing with Sabian was about to explode, he still wouldn’t walk away. He wanted a family anyway. He always thought he’d get married first and then have children, but this worked too. He and Thena had been together for a while now; a baby was bound to happen sooner or later.

He shook his head. “Baby, I’m happy. I want a family. I want a child, and I want it with you. You’ve made me happy…don’t doubt that.”

“Are you sure, Thomas? Are you really sure? Because there’s not a week that goes by that you don’t remind me that you can’t commit to us, to our relationship, until you get Sabian.” Her face and eyes held the look of hope unspoken.

“I’m positive, Thena. I want this. I want you.” He hadn’t realized he kept constantly reminding her of his lack of desire to have attachments—commitments. Clearly he had been doing just that. And for three years she handled it like a Marine when she wasn’t one. For three years she listened to him tell her, constantly remind her, of why they weren’t married and would probably never be married. It was a miracle she hadn’t kicked him to the curbside months ago. He wouldn’t have wanted to stick around for that kind of constant reminder. “I want this.” He felt compelled to say again, and he would say it as often as he needed to in order to set things right.

A sigh of relief escaped her. “I’ve been trying to figure out for weeks how to bring this up with you. I knew I would have to eventually, but I just…I thought if I kept busy with everything else then maybe I would figure it out.”

“Don’t ever think you have to be afraid to tell me anything. I love you. You’ve made me the happiest man in Boston tonight. I’m going to be a dad.”

She laughed. “Yes, you are.” She placed her hand over her stomach and he placed his hand over hers. Tonight he had gotten life changing news—twice. He knew he had to tell her about what he had to leave to do, but right now he just wanted to sit back and think about being a father to their child. A smile graced his lips. He had something to come home to before, but now…wow, this was amazing. He wanted a family of his own. He wanted a wife and a child and now he was going to have one—a child at least because he and Thena had yet to set a date for their wedding…technically they weren’t really engaged. He had never officially asked her. He had implied that they would get married after he settled things, but he had yet to get down on bended knee and ask her.

“What are we hoping for? A girl or a boy?”

“Hmm…I could see us having a little boy who will grow up to be just like his dad,” she smiled. “But I can also see us having a little girl. She can have your gorgeous blue eyes.”

“Your nose,” he tapped her on the tip of her nose. “And your beautiful brown skin.”

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. From her seated position the move was awkward at best. He lifted her and positioned her so that her legs straddled his waist and then he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her body and gently stroking her back. “Maybe we can have both.”

“Twins don’t run in my family,” she told him. “At least not that I know of…maybe somewhere down the line there could be a set of twins but if there are any I don’t know about them.”

“Mine either. So if we don’t have twins we’ll keep trying until we have at least one of each.”

She laughed. “Um…no…that sounds like I’ll have ten kids while we try for one gender. No thank you. Two is enough.”

“Four,” he bargained.

“Three,” she countered. “And that’s my final offer.”

He laughed. “I’ll take it, but that doesn’t mean I won’t keep pushing for more. Think of all the fun we’ll have making four…or six.”

“Hey!” She pulled back and slapped his shoulder. “No way. Four…maybe, but six…no way.”

“Okay, four it is.”

“Seriously, you’re crazy, but you’re right; it would be nice. Our children would be so loved. They’ll grow up with both of us too.” She sighed. “I want us to both be there for them. I lost my mom young and I don’t want our children to go through losing either of us. I know how much it hurts, and I don’t want that for them.”

He felt his heart pound in his chest. He had every intention of seeing that happen, but what he had to do, what he was about to do, could go either way. He was like a tiger going on the hunt, but at the same time, he would be hunted too. There was a chance he wouldn’t make it back alive. He wouldn’t tell her tonight, because he couldn’t. Tonight would be just about them, the baby, their love. Tomorrow morning he would tell her what she needed to know. He would tell her he was going to war with a demon from his past. She knew he had been planning for this, waiting for it, but he also knew that a part of her secretly hoped that day would never come. She was willing to remain the lifetime girlfriend in order to keep him from putting his life in jeopardy again…but he couldn’t walk away from this. He wouldn’t walk away from this. He vowed to himself right then and there, he would make it home to her. He didn’t have any other options but to fight, to survive and come home to her—there was no other way.

Come morning, he could talk to Thena about what he had to do, but he wouldn’t do it tonight. Tonight he just wanted them to be in the moment, live in the moment, and know that for this moment they had each other and their child, safely inside their home. Tomorrow he could tell her he was going to leave on a mission he had been preparing for for over a decade now. She wouldn’t like it and he knew that, but she knew from the beginning that this day might come, and now it was here. Like it or not, she would have to accept that he was going to go after Sabian with a vengeance. This vendetta would end, and it would end now. He wouldn’t keep hunting this bastard for another ten years. He was going to stalk his prey and then, like a tiger, he was going to go in for the kill.

Chapter Five

“I
know you weren’t expecting me to come home and tell you that I have to leave,” Mike exhaled slowly. Dealing with Zenya was never a huge problem for him, except for when he was trying to keep her safe and she was too stubborn to accept his help. The woman had a bad habit of putting her obligations first and her own safety second, and he had made a serious effort to help her change that. She was working on it, but she hadn’t fully made the turnaround.

“I’m worried,” she said. “I know about sitting at home waiting for a man to come back from a mission. My dad is an admiral so I know what it feels like, but this is different. You’re my husband and this isn’t a military mission. This is something so dangerous and you won’t have help.”

“I’ll have help,” he said. “Drake will be there. Thomas will be there. Gavin,” he said. He knew what she meant. She was thinking he wouldn’t have a group of SEALs to back him up should something go wrong, but he trusted these men. He knew what Drake was capable of doing and he knew that Gavin was a force to be reckoned with. From what he heard of Thomas, before his injury he was on the fast track to becoming a member of the Blue Squadron—an elite military team with the highest honors.

“I’m worried,” she said. “But I know you have to do this. I know you told me from day one so it’s not like you ever lied to me. But…I’m still worried.” She placed her hand over her belly. “I’ll have my parents. You know that already.”

“I talked to your father.”

“You talked to my dad before talking to me?”

“Oh boy,” he sighed. He had to set her straight before she ripped into him. In reality he was just trying to help. “I wanted to make sure he could be here for you, honey. You’re going to have our baby and I want to be sure while I’m out there that you have somebody to help you here. It will help ease my mind a little, and take away some of the distraction.”

She pulled him in for a hug. “Don’t be distracted; okay? I really want you to come home to me and you can’t guarantee me that if your head is here when it should be there. I’ll be okay.” She took his hand and placed it over her belly. “We’ll be okay. Just come back to us.”

“I will,” he assured her. No matter what happened he was determined to come home to his family. He leaned down and kissed Zenya’s belly. “Where’s the other one?” He grinned. Normally, Patience was singing to the top of her lungs whenever she was awake. Their little girl was destined to do something with music just like her mother. Zenya’s cousin, Australia, was determined not to have any children of her own, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t planning to help with Patience’s musical education. She had bought her a mini-drum set the last time she came to town and she had showed her how to play. So between singing and banging on the drums, he was sure Patience was going to be in music—he was surer of that than anything.

He was happy that his little girl was exploring her talented side, but he wasn’t always happy with the noise. Australia was fine with dropping off the drum set because she didn’t have to be there to hear Patience trying to play every day. Spoil and run, he had always said. That’s exactly what any visiting family member did; leaving gifts behind that he had to try to sort out. Zenya wasn’t any help in matters. She always said they should let her explore her musical options. He just wished she would explore them a little more quietly. Right now things were too quiet and he wanted to know what she was doing.