Velvet & steel (12 page)

"Hush, child," Royce said. He felt a tenderness sweep over him, combined with self-loathing. He had made her as she was... frightened and lonely. "It was all right. You may come to me if you are ever afraid of anything."

"Really?" She looked at him as if this were too much to believe.

"Yes, really. Cerise ... I'm sorry to have hurt you as I did. One day, when you are older, I will tell you why—"

"Uncle Robert already told me. It's because you miss Mama. And Oriel said you never wanted me because I'm an ugly girl. It's all right, Papa." She moved to stand closer, and reached a hand to pat his shoulder consolingly. "It's all right."

Her last words undid him. He gathered her into his arms, and felt her slender arms come about his neck and return his embrace.

"Oriel was wrong, Cerise. You will remain in Lynette's care." He held her a little away from him. "And you are the prettiest girl in all of England."

Cerise looked at him with a half smile of doubt on her face. This was too much to believe. He was just trying to make her feel better. Royce saw her doubt and smiled.

"Have you ever heard of me telling a lie?"

"No."

"Then why would I lie to you?"

"Just to make me feel better," she said with conviction. "But I really don't mind. If ... if you like me... just a little bit ... I really don't mind."

"Ah, Cerise. I would like to learn to love again. Perhaps we can teach each other. We will start... as you say ... with just a little bit. All right?"

"Yes," she whispered. Royce took her in his arms again, and ignored the tears that burned his eyes. He had a long way to go with Cerise, but maybe he could find his way back to her trust.

"Would you like to come with me to the stable? I have something to show you."

Cerise nodded and the two of them left her chamber. As they went down the stairs, face after face gaped in surprise, but all remained silent. Near the stable they saw Robert, whose smile grew broader as they grew near.

"Good morning," he greeted them. But his eyes were on Royce. "And a good one it is, I think."

"You are right, old friend. One of the best," Royce agreed.

"And you, little one," Robert said to Cerise. "Where are you off to?"

"Papa is going to show me a secret, Uncle Robert."

"Hmm, maybe there are some secrets Papa will tell me later. I am surely interested."

"I don't doubt that you are, Robert. But I don't think it's much of a secret. I have a feeling it is what you have planned from the start. What other little plans do you have?"

"I?" Robert said innocently. "What other plans could I have, other than to journey to London with you and see you married?"

"Come, Cerise," Royce said. "Robert... we'll talk later."

Now Lynette stood and watched them together and was warmed by the lightness of it. His barriers had been beaten down with the embrace of a child. How she wished ...

"What is so interesting?" she inquired. Both Royce and Cerise turned to look at her.

"Oh, look, Lynette! Papa found some kittens."

"So I see. How pretty they are." Lynette spoke to Cerise, but she was aware of Royce's gaze upon her.

"Papa says I must leave them here while we go to London. Do you think they will run away before I get back?"

Lynette didn't want to say that she thought Cerise might not be coming back. "No, they will stay here. Their mother has been here for a long time, and they won't leave her for a while."

"Papa, may I show Uncle Robert?"

"Aye, take one to him," Royce laughed. "I'm sure he is most anxious to see a new batch of kittens."

Cerise was off at a run almost before Royce stopped speaking. There was a long silence after she left.

"You were right," he said softly. "My lord?" "

"Lynette, I have a name. Is it distasteful to you?" "No... Royce. It is not distasteful" she replied. She looked up at him as he took the few steps that separated them, and the longing of the night before came alive. She tried to study him with detached interest, but such detachment was nearly impossible when his presence was enough to take a woman's breath away. "About what was I right?"

"She is full of love. But she is just as full of distrust."

"Do you not think she has a right to her distrust?"

"Aye, I suppose she does. I have been unfair to her. To try to ease her life and perhaps my own. I have sentenced her to the same childhood I lived. Last night was a revelation, and I am grateful for it. Perhaps I can make up for my neglect in time. I shall have to teach her to trust me." He changed the subject. "Is all ready for us to leave tomorrow?"

"Aye. I foresee no problems, unless a new snow falls."

"Good, I would be on our way as soon as the sun is up."

"Are you so anxious to get to court, Royce?" she asked without looking at him. Both knew that the other sought only a way out of the dilemma in which they found themselves.

"It is William's command that we marry there. Besides, there is no way out of this situation without the king's permission. Once I have brought you to court and you have had time to make some decisions, there will still be time to prove the wisdom of your choice to the king."

"And then you will be free of this unwelcome duty."

It came to Royce quite suddenly that he was not as anxious for this release as he had been but a few weeks before.

"You have made it clear that it is just as unwelcome to you. Why should we do battle, when the answer is before us?" he asked.

"You speak true. Freedom of choice is the answer for us both. But do you believe the king will release us as easily as that?"

"William considers only the need to hold the land. If the... the knight is one he respects and trusts, then I see no obstacle."

All the while they were talking, Lynette's discomfort with the situation was growing. How could she say to him that the choice William had already made was not as distasteful as she had first thought?

How could she tell him that she would reconsider their bargain when she knew he wanted to be free?

"Then it should be a simple matter?"

"Aye... simple."

"Royce ..." She had to tell him.

"Royce," Oriel's voice repeated from the doorway, and both Royce and Lynette turned to look at her. "It seems there are some difficulties, and Sir Ferragus has been searching for you to settle a problem." She smiled a most pleasant smile at Lynette. "And your father is ill."

Lynette's alarm rose. "My father! What is the matter?"

"I'm afraid I have no idea. It might be best if you were to go to him as soon as you can."

"Yes ... of course," Lynette said distractedly. She remembered too well how sick her father had been the winter before. She left without another word.

Royce was watching Oriel. He could hear Cerise's voice saying that Oriel had told her she was an ugly little girl and that was why he did not want her near. Looking at Oriel now only made him feel worse about what he had put the child through.

Oriel had watched Lynette's departure, and now as she turned to look at Royce her smile warmed. "Will you be glad to return to court, Royce?"

"It is of little importance, Oriel. If Lynette's father is too ill for her to leave him, there is little reason for us to leave."

"But what of the king?"

"I am sure he can continue to rule without our presence."

"Then ... your marriage is of little importance as well?"

"I did not say that. I believe this marriage is of great importance to William, and I would not consider going against his will."

"To ask you to wed a Saxon just to possess her lands is much. Why can he not just take the land and let you wed one of your own? You can still rule here. William need only give it to you."

"Then he would have to oust Lynette, her father, and all those loyal to them. It would cause much grief for nothing. This manor can be ruled peacefully. William seeks peace and a chance to build and rule without any more problems."

"What are a few more Saxons? And of what value are that sick old man and his daughter?" She came close and laid her hand gently on his arm. "There are those who would stand beside you and rule here with but a word."

"There is the matter of my own benefit as well. I am not the wealthiest of William's knights, but he has given me the honor of holding this manor in his name. My honor is in the bargain, and I hold it too dear to destroy."

"You would let a Saxon do it for you?"

"There is no reason to believe she would do so. Oriel, put your hatred of everything Saxon from you, and your hatred of Lynette. She has done you no harm. You have been generous with your time and patience, I know. But I want no more animosity to linger in this company from now on."

Oriel's face revealed her struggle for control. "You will regret the day you set eyes on her," she said quietly. "And the day you ignored my warning. I would have given you more than she ever will, and you turn from me to one who would see you in the dust. Yes, Royce, you will regret this day."

Oriel waked away, with her shoulders stiff and her teeth clenched. Lynette had won for now, she thought, but once they were back at court they would see who the final winner was. One way or another she would have Royce and Creganwald... and she would find a way to rid herself of the woman who had come between her and her wishes... yes, one way or another.

Lynette flew to her father's chamber, where she found him seated before his fire in deep contemplation. She went to his side at once and knelt by his chair.

"Papa, Oriel told me you were ill."

"Nay, daughter, it was but a passing thing. A small pain that took my breath for a minute, but it is long gone. Do not worry so, I am fine. It was not the strange malady that attacked me last winter. Then my breath was short, and the pain in my chest and arm was severe. This was a little thing. Most likely something I have eaten."

"You would not say that just to stop me from worrying?"

"I would not. Did I not moan like a child last year?" He laughed. "You know I bellow like a bull when I feel you are needed. You leave for London tomorrow, and I do not want you to worry. I am well, and when this cursed winter has passed, I will be completely better."

Lynette relaxed with a sigh. She dragged a stool near her father's chair, and sat down beside him.

"Papa ... I must talk to you."

"What worries your mind, daughter?"

"With all honesty, what think you of Royce?"

"Royce," Eldwyn said thoughtfully. "I have watched him these past days, and I have begun to believe he has the best intentions for Creganwald. He has plans that will see this land improve, and he would build here a stronger castle and make Creganwald a fortress that will protect its people against anything."

"That is his plan for Creganwald, Papa, but... what of him?"

"He is a strong man, Lynette. I have listened to his men, and heard the talk of the servants. I know he is respected... respected, not feared. There is a great deal of difference." Eldwyn looked at her closely. "What troubles you? Do you find him wanting?"

"I am afraid that is the problem," Lynette said miserably.

"How can that be a problem?"

"Papa ... he does not want me."

"Impossible."

"Not so impossible." She smiled. "You have love for me, he does not. He ... he is still in love with his wife." Lynette went on to explain, and to tell her father of the unspoken bargain she and Royce had made. "So, you see. It is wealth he wants, and for me to choose another and present my petition to William. He will not argue the matter ... if he finds a woman wealthy enough to take my place."

"That is the most unbelievable thing I have ever heard of!" Eldwyn exploded. "To choose a woman for him, while he chooses another husband for you.

He cannot insult you this way! William shall hear of it!"

"No! Papa, please, say nothing. There is worse I want to tell you."

"What could possibly be worse?"

"That I have come ... I think ... to love him," Lynette said softly. Eldwyn was silenced for a minute, before a look of understanding crossed his face.

"You love him and you believe he still loves his wife, and you have made a bargain that will break your heart if it comes to pass. That is truly a dilemma."

"Yes," Lynette said miserably. "He is willing to marry any woman with enough wealth, and prefers one who will not demand his time or presence. That is not marriage, it is a ... a ... I have my pride as well."

"Then win him, daughter," Eldwyn said quietly.

"What?"

"Win him. Warrior he might be, knight he might be, and bitter he might be. But beneath all that he is a man. Whether you believe it or no, a man needs the warmth and the strength that home offers. For a long while ... I would say since the death of his wife, he has wandered without that comfort, until he believes it came only with Sybella. Show him it is not so."

"Oh, Papa, I'm ... I'm afraid."

"You?" Eldwyn chided tenderly. "You have been afraid of nothing since you could stand on your own two feet."

"But I am."

"Perhaps you have made him believe that it is you who would prefer any other but him. Perhaps," Eldwyn said quietly, "it is his own pride that speaks. If his desire is not to marry... and you claim that another would please you more ..."

Lynette considered this in a new light. She had told Royce more than once that she preferred to choose another.

"Oh, Papa, this is such a muddled affair. I wish I really knew his mind."

"I wish I really knew her mind, Robert. She is a puzzle," Royce said.

"What woman is not? You will wed the girl," Robert laughed. "And that will give you a number of years to understand the puzzle. That is, if a woman's ways can ever be understood."

"There will be no wedding."

"What? Do you choose to go against the king's will? I thought your honor was above breaking your pledge." Robert scowled, his brows drawing together and his mouth growing tight.

"We have struck a bargain, she and I."

"A bargain?" Robert said suspiciously. "I see your hand here."

"Nay, it is her choice I would honor. She wants the right to see if there is another way."

Robert knew quite well that Royce was skirting the issue. "She has no choice."

"She has the right to petition William for a choice. Should she find a knight William trusts and who will care for the land as William's man, why should she not wed him?" His gaze met Robert's directly, and for a second Robert was without words. Then another thought came to him.

"This sounds more like your thoughts than hers. What does she know of court or William's wishes ... unless you have set her to thinking on this line?"

"Robert—"

"There is more to this than you are saying. What have you forced upon this girl?"

Royce could almost have laughed at Robert's anger, had he not hit so close to the truth. He had never lied to his mentor, and he didn't intend to start now. Of course, all the truth was not necessary.

"She was reluctant about the marriage, and you know it was not to my liking. I simply informed her that she had choices. So ... we made a bargain."

"So you have said." Robert's look got darker and darker. "You had best explain to me just what you had to bargain with. It is the king's wish that you marry this girl."

"We both know that William is well content with Matilda. He loves the woman completely. Do you not think," Royce reasoned softly, "that his ear will be open when this girl... this beautiful and innocent girl, pleads for him to give her a man she could wed with pleasure? Especially if she has another that the king would look favorably upon. He will see the right of it and give her her choice, and Creganwald will be held in his name as he desires."

"And what will you do, you foolish whelp, if William decides you will wed whether you like it or not!"

"Do not be angry, old friend." Royce's face grew somber. "It is her welfare that is uppermost in my mind. She is too gentle and sweet to be condemned to a life with my nightmares... and ... I would not see her in Sybella's place."

"So far you have described her as beautiful, gentle, and sweet. Are these not then good reasons for a marriage? Many have been wed with less. As far as what happened in the past, you must learn one day to put it where it belongs ... in the past. Lynette is a different woman, and she is strong and healthy. There is no reason for such a thing to happen again."

"I would not put her in Sybella's place," Royce reiterated quietly.

Robert studied his face intently for a long and very uncomfortable moment. Then his brow cleared. He considered his next words carefully.

"What does it matter to you the outcome, if she bears the heir William wants?" He shrugged.

The look Royce turned to him was filled with rage. The same old fear held him.

"I will hear no more about the subject. The bargain has been made, and I am sure of the outcome. She is a woman who will attract many, and surely one of them will meet her demands. William is not a fool. He would have a happy subject bending to his will, rather than one who will only learn to hate him more every moment she spends in a loveless marriage."

"And you?"

"I will be free to go on with my life and ..."

"And?"

"I have much to make up for with Cerise. I have been unjust, and I would try to mend our relationship. She does not trust me."

"But she loves you."

"She is in love with the stories she had heard of me, and the man she has built in her dreams. That is not me. But I will have to replace that dream with something more lasting."

"It is good. Royce. I am happy that you have finally accepted her for the loving child she is. But—'

"Nay, Robert, leave it at that. The matter is settled. We have only to contend with William, and I am certain I can get him to listen to reason. He desires peace among his people. This is the best way to keep peace at Creganwald."