Authors: Fern Michaels
“It was wartime and I was meeting your grandmother for the first time ...”
The moment the door closed behind Ash Thornton, he went into a rage. “Now, do you see what your mother is capable of? She undermines every single thing I do. If she’d keep her nose out of the casino business, things would be just fine. Do I interfere in her business? No, I do not. Your mother has to dabble in everything. She’s not content to own two of the biggest clothing companies in the country, she has to make her presence felt in everything that concerns me. I’m not going to let that happen. We’re going to go ahead with those riverboats. I want you in Mississippi tomorrow. Get everything under way. She won’t stop us. If she does ... I’ll deal with it then and there. When Sunny comes back from lunch, send her in here. She’s out of here until that kid arrives. I have enough problems without her jinxing me. Why are you looking at me that way, Birch? Business is business. We’re on top, and I plan on staying there. So I already took a mortgage out, so what? I got a good interest rate and cut Granger’s markers to half. That’s how you do business in this town. I love bankers who gamble. Hell, the governor was in here two weeks ago, and he shot a load that made me blink. You suck up to these people and you can get anything you want. You have to know how to play the game. Your mother doesn’t know the name of the game much less how to play it. I even know what her next move is going to be. She’s going to raise the rates on the sewage and electric plants. That won’t endear us to the rest of the owners. The dark stuff will start to fly. Anything can happen in this town and take my word for it, something will happen as soon as those rate hikes go into effect. Your mother talks a good game about tightening our belts and all that crap. Don’t kid yourself, son, it’s what Fanny wants when Fanny wants it. Thanks for sticking up for me. They’ll eat our dust yet. ”
“Dad, this is all wrong. The past is past. Can’t we let it die and make things better? I know you can’t go back, but you can go forward and make it better than it was. Sage is going to walk. I could see it in his face.”
“Sage is not a team player. Neither is Sunny. You and me now, we have the same goals. We’ll make those goals, too.”
Birch watched as his father swallowed a handful of pills. He could feel his shoulders slump. Sage was his twin, his other half. He never felt quite whole unless Sage was close by. He adored Sunny, always had. It was all getting away from him, just like the last time when they sided with their father against their mother.
“You can’t tell Sunny she isn’t needed right now. If we do that, Mom will shut this place down so fast we won’t have time to blink. She’ll do it, Dad. I’d hate to see you make the mistake of pushing her to the edge. She won’t jump over the edge, she’ll plow you right under. She takes her commitment to Grandma Sallie and this family very seriously. You’re wrong about Sage, too. Sage has the charisma to make this place work. He works the floor like a pro. Any casino on this Strip would hire him and pay him five times what we pay him. He’d be worth every dollar, too. Don’t mess with Sage, Dad.”
Ash eyed his son, his one remaining ally. His mind was scrambled with the pills he’d just taken. His chaotic thoughts reeled back in time to when he was Birch’s age. He’d been just as tall, just as good-looking, just as virile, just as mobile. He stared at the replica of himself and wanted to cry. “Sage is weak,” he mumbled.
“You’re wrong. Sage has more guts than the two of us put together. I’ll walk out of here before I let you put Sage down.”
Ash stared at his son and knew he meant every word. He waved him out of the room. When the door closed behind Birch, great wrenching sobs tore at his wasted body “I hate your goddamn fucking guts, Fanny,” he sobbed.
In his office, Birch sat down behind his desk. His head dropped to his hands. He wished he could turn back the hands of the clock to the day he and Sage left for college with Simon behind the wheel.
He knew the story behind his father and his Uncle Simon. He’d heard his father’s version, his grandmother’s version, Simon’s version, and then his mother’s version. Somewhere in between was the real story. Late at night in the college dorm, he and Sage had put their own spin on the story and came up with one they could both live with. Now, eighteen years later, history seemed to be repeating itself. He was his father and Sage was Simon. He remembered how his Uncle Simon had come out the winner in all the different stories, even their own. That meant Sage was a winner and he was ... his father all over again.
It was three o’clock when Birch closed his briefcase. “Biloxi, Mississippi, here I come,” he muttered. The knock on his door startled him. “Come in,” he called.
“Nah. I don’t think so,” Sage said from the open doorway. “I stopped by Dad’s office to drop this off, but he was asleep. He’d just tear it up anyway You can do whatever you want with it. It’s my resignation. You going somewhere? Let me guess. Biloxi, Mississippi, right? Big mistake, Birch.”
“Come on, Sage, we go through this at least once a week. You always back down. This thing is going to blow over the way these things always blow over. This is our business. We need to pull together.”
“That’s really funny coming from you. I’ve had it. What we voted for was right for all the right reasons. I don’t have any regrets. All I want is a life, and I’m damn well going to get one. Uncle Simon walked away and got his life. I’ve got the guts to do the same thing.”
“Let’s not forget that good old Uncle Simon walked off with the queen of this parade. Our mother.”
“Mom’s personal life is none of our business. Justify what happened with Sunny, Birch. Don’t tell me nothing happened either. I know how you and Dad do things.”
“Sunny belongs at home taking care of herself. Mom stayed home and took care of us. Why isn’t that good enough for her?”
“The why of it doesn’t matter. It’s her choice. We made a pact early on. You can’t blow Sunny off. You’re gonna do it, aren’t you? I refuse to be a party to anything that hurts one of us. What the hell happened to you, Birch? For months now we’ve been at opposite ends of the spectrum. I miss the old Birch, my buddy and my pal. Where’d he go?”
“Get your ass in here and stop telling the world our business. What about Dad?”
“Ah, the emperor’s son has spoken. The queen’s son is speaking now, the son who is his own man, and he says, fuck you, Birch.” In a dramatic gesture, Sage threw his hands high in the air. “Jesus, do you have any idea of how good I feel right now? Because I’m in such a good mood, I’m going to give you some advice for free. Forget those riverboats, they’re going to sink to the bottom of the Mississippi River. Give some thought to buying a gondola. Isn’t that what emperors ride around in or sail in ... ? Whatever. See you around.”
“Sage, wait. We need to talk. Sage, get in here. What the hell is bugging you? Come on, we can talk this through and make it work.”
“Sorry, Birch, not this time.”
The sound of the door closing behind his brother sounded ominous, final. Birch cried then for what he’d allowed himself to become: the emperor’s son.
Fanny waved good-bye to her children, then frowned as she watched Sage and Billie link arms with Sunny. She turned to Bess. “I’m worried.”
“I know. Why don’t we take a walk, just you and me, Fanny? Remember the old days when we traipsed around this town? Two young girls who never in their wildest dreams thought they would be where they are right now.”
“I had such dreams back then. I thought I had a marriage made in heaven. Hell would be more like it. I tell myself there must have been some good years. If there were, why can’t I remember them?”
“It’s over. You can’t look back. You told me that a thousand times or more.”
“That’s because Sallie always said it to me. I miss her so much, Bess. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about her. She was my best friend. The mother I never had. I try to do things the way I think she would want me to do them, but I’m never sure I’m succeeding.”
“Maybe you need to stop doing that and do what
you
think is best. Sallie isn’t here anymore. She trusted you. That means she trusted your judgment. Lay her to rest and live your own life. It’s time for you to crawl out from under her shadow.”
“Oh, Bess, it sounds so simple. I can’t turn it off. I envy you and your nice normal family. You and John were meant for each other. Doctor and Mrs. Bess Noble. I love the way that sounds. You and John got the brass ring, my friend.”
“We’ve had our ups and downs, Fanny. Every married couple does at one time or another.”
“You came out stronger, though. We’re to the half century mark, Bess. Actually, we’re past the mark. I’m divorced. My family is divided. No one is happy Sunny’s ill, I feel it in my bones. My eyes see things I don’t want to recognize. Yes, my businesses are successful. Yes, I provide jobs for a lot of people, including my children. When is it my time in the sun, Bess?”
“Whenever you decide to make a commitment to Simon. You could get married tomorrow at a Las Vegas wedding chapel if you wanted to. You could do it the minute you pick up Simon. It’s a choice, Fanny. You have to get rid of all that guilt you’re carrying around. So what if Simon is Ash’s brother. So what, Fanny! You’re divorced for God’s sake. Ash no longer has a hold on you. His accident wasn’t your fault. Let it die already There was such exasperation in Bess’s voice that Fanny laughed aloud.
“I think you care more than I do.”
“That’s a bald-faced lie if I ever heard one. You love Simon. He loves you. Carrying on an affair is what Sallie did. That’s not who you are, Fanny. You’re a home and hearth person. If you deliberately choose to pattern your life after Sallie’s that’s one thing. If you let circumstances dictate to you, that’s something else. Sallie has a hold on you from the grave. You need to shake it loose.”
Fanny stopped walking to stare at her friend. “Is that what I’m doing, Bess?”
“Yes.” The single word was an explosion of sound from Bess’s mouth. “I want to see some backbone. Starting right now!”
Fanny hugged her friend as people walked around them, smiles on their faces. “What would I do without you, Bess?”
Bess shrugged. “We need to start scrounging for money for the dolls. You can put John and me down for $75,000. I know the kids will kick in with their savings. Your kids, that is. Mine don’t have any savings.”
“Don’t you have to ask John?”
“Nope. That’s why we work so well together. He knows I wouldn’t do anything to put our lives in jeopardy We have other savings. If he knew the situation, he’d offer before I could get the words out of my mouth.”
Fanny recognized the truth of the statement. “Isn’t it strange, Bess, how Billie managed to save the day? She did it once before with Rainbow Babies. The truth, Bess, am I doing the right thing where Billie Coleman is concerned?”
“Absolutely When it comes down to the wire, Fanny, when everything else is shot to hell, family is the only thing you can count on. In the end family always comes through for you. Trust me on this.”
“My own family ... Birch ...”
“Birch is torn, Fanny. All you can do is be there for him when he finally comes to terms with his role in his father’s life. Birch isn’t a kid anymore. You always said because he was minutes older, he was the leader and Sage was the follower. That changed somewhere along the way. Sage is his own person and has been for a very long time. I think Birch knows that and doesn’t know how to get back on even footing. He’ll figure it out, and when he does, he’ll come back to the fold and you’ll be there because that’s what mothers do.”
“But, will I feel the same way about him? Right now I love him, but I don’t like him. Does that make sense? He hates it that I’m considering marrying Simon.”
“No, Ash is making him hate the idea. Birch always adored his uncle. He has to deal with that, too. He has a lot on his plate right now. The minute Sage is gone, he’s going to start soul searching. We’ll just have to wait and hope he sees the light. By the way, how is your ex?”
“His debonair self as far as I could see. If you’re asking me if he’s still taking all those drugs, my answer would be yes. His eyes appeared glassy to me, but he wears tinted glasses indoors. Sage told me once the fluorescent lighting bothers his eyes. I don’t want to know, Bess. All I want is what Sallie wanted, a simple life with a man I love and who loves me. I want my family.”
“Then tell Simon you’ll marry him and don’t change your mind this time. No matter how much he loves you, he won’t wait forever. Neither one of you is getting any younger.”
“I have loose ends in my life, Bess. I hate loose ends. I know life doesn’t come in a tidy little box with a ribbon on top. I have the box and the ribbon, but I can’t tie it into a bow. I still haven’t found my mother. My instincts tell me she’s out there somewhere. I’m ashamed that I didn’t do more to find her. I could have half brothers and sisters, a whole other family I know nothing about. I need to do something about that. Then there’s Jake and his money. I’ve borrowed on that money so many times I’ve lost count. I need to lay that to rest, too. It’s been thirty years, Bess, since that bus holdup when Jake gave me his money to hold. I wanted to give the money back, but I could never find him. He must have a family somewhere. I never did tell Ash about that money. Simon invested it time and again. It’s a small fortune.”
“Fanny, with all the new technology out there today you can hire the best of the best. It might take a while, but I think you’ll be able to lay those two matters to rest once and for all. Now, didn’t we have a nice chat? Time for you to be getting ready for the drive to the airport. Isn’t Simon due in soon?”
“How do you know he’s coming in and that I’m picking him up?”
“Because you’re wearing your yellow dress. You always wear yellow when you pick Simon up. Sometimes you are very transparent, Fanny
“Obviously,” Fanny sniffed. “I didn’t lie back there at the meeting when I said I didn’t know where Simon was. I didn’t know precisely what city or town his plane was flying over at that moment.” Fanny grinned and hugged her friend.
She would have known him anywhere, even in a dark room, this love of hers. She wanted to jump over the barrier and run to him. Instead she held out her arms and smiled. “I missed you. I thought about you every minute of every day. The moment I open my eyes in the morning my first thought is, is Simon awake yet?”
He kissed her while the world on the tarmac watched. Neither one cared. “It doesn’t have to be this way,” he said against her lips.
“I know,” she whispered. “For now it is what it is. I do love you, more than I loved you yesterday and not as much as I will tomorrow. So there!”
“How’s everything?”
“Some things are good, some things are bad, some things are indifferent. Nothing much changes around here. We’ll talk later. Let’s just enjoy each other. It’s been two whole weeks, Simon!”
“Three hundred and thirty-six hours or twenty thousand one hundred and sixty minutes. Damn, I can’t calculate the seconds in my head.”
“Who cares? You’re here and that’s all that counts.”
“Fanny, let’s get married. Right now. I’m willing to keep it a secret if you don’t want the family to know. I see something in your eyes I’ve never seen before and it scares me. Now, Fanny.”
Fanny slid into the passenger side of her car. Simon always drove when they were together. Her heart started to flutter in her chest. Simon’s words sounded like an ultimatum. The hard set of his jaw frightened her. Bess’s words rang in her ears. “Simon won’t wait forever.”
Fanny’s voice was squeaky, jittery-sounding when she said, “By now, do you mean on the way home or
soon? ”
Simon’s demand coupled with what had transpired earlier left her feeling drained. She needed to say something positive, something light and funny to take away the harsh look on her beloved’s face. She couldn’t find the words. Was it possible they weren’t in her vocabulary? Was it possible she wasn’t meant to marry Simon? The thought was so devastating she could feel her eyes start to burn.
“Fanny, did you hear what I said?”
“Yes, Simon, I did. I’m thinking.”
The disbelief in Simon’s voice was total. “You’re thinking? That doesn’t say very much for us, Fanny. What in the name of God do you have to think about?”
“Everything, Simon. Everything.”
“That word sounds ominous. I don’t think I care for that explanation. Would you mind explaining?”
“Can we have this discussion when we get to Sunrise?”
“It doesn’t look like I have a choice. What’s happening to us, Fanny?”
Fanny’s voice was a tortured whisper. “I don’t know.”
“I thought what we felt for one another was rock solid. You and me against the world, that kind of thing. Am I wrong, Fanny?”
“No. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you. I didn’t know I could feel like this. I don’t want to lose you like I did the last time, Simon. If you recall, I asked you to marry me and you turned me down flat. Those were the longest, the most miserable days of my life. We’ll talk over cocoa, and a nice warm fire. It’s still chilly on the mountain in the evenings.”
“Okay, Fanny. So, how are the kids? They’re always going to be kids to me no matter how old they are.”
“We’ll talk about that tonight, too. I am worried about Sunny. Tyler said he spoke to her obstetrician and he said she was fine. She is not fine. Something is wrong, but I don’t know what it is.”
Simon sighed. Maybe it wasn’t him after all. Maybe Fanny’s eyes were filled with sadness because of her children. The invisible load on his shoulders lightened. However, the wariness stayed in his eyes. “How’s Ash?” His voice said he didn’t care one way or the other. The expression in his eyes was a direct contradiction to his words.
“As arrogant as ever. I’ve only been to Babylon twice since the grand opening. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing people gamble before breakfast. I wish we had never built that damn place.” Fanny’s voice was so vehement, Simon’s eyebrows shot upward.
“It wasn’t the answer you were looking for, was it?”
“It was the answer for Ash. He’s breaking all the rules. All the agreements we had. He thinks I’m going to go along with his shenanigans because of the kids. He deliberately baits me, deliberately pushes me to the wall. I hate his defiance and it has nothing to do with his accident or with him being in a wheelchair. He hates my mobility and my feelings for you. He hates my father and my brothers for finishing his casino. They call him The Emperor on the Strip. Somehow he managed to get this poker tournament for Babylon. People have to pay ten thousand dollars to play. That just absolutely, totally, mystifies me. Ash says it’s a real feather in his cap.”
“I’d say so. He’ll clear a few million for the Thornton coffers and it will only enhance his image in Vegas. The Emperor, huh?” A storm began to build in Simon’s eyes that Fanny couldn’t see. “What do you suppose that makes the rest of us?” Simon threw his head back against the headrest and laughed so hard tears rolled down his cheeks. Later, when he dried his eyes, Fanny was startled at how angry his eyes looked. The deep belly laugh sounded forced to her ears for some reason. She shrugged off the feeling. If Simon was angry, he had a right to be angry. She couldn’t let little things like that mar her happiness.
Fanny didn’t mean to laugh. Nothing her ex-husband did was funny. But they both started to laugh until they were giddy The tense moments were over. For a little while.
They made the rest of the drive to Sunrise in comfortable, companionable silence. From time to time Simon squeezed her hand.
The moment he pulled the car into the courtyard, Fanny said, “Now I can
breathe
. I need my daily sagebrush fix. Smell it, Simon, isn’t it wonderful? The air up here on the mountain is so clean and pure. Down in town I always feel like I’m fighting to breathe. Ten years from now Las Vegas is going to be as crowded as New York City. I’ll be sixty-four then. Do you think I’ll care, Simon?”
“I hope not. I want us to retire and go off together someplace. A new place because new beginnings should have new surroundings. Just you and me, Fanny. We’re never going to need anyone else. I’m selling my brokerage house, my client base, the whole ball of wax. All my real estate is on the market. My plan was to put on a blindfold and stand in front of a map and stick a pin in it. Then I was going to have you do the same thing, at which point we’d pick somewhere in the middle. Whatcha think?”
“Oh, Simon, do you really want to do that? I’ve never lived anywhere but Pennsylvania and Nevada. I need to think about this, Simon. You’re selling everything?”
“Everything. I’m ready for a new beginning. I’ve paid my dues.”
“Is that another way of saying you’re going to stick the pin in the map with or without me?” She wondered if the fear she felt showed in her face.
“I’m afraid so, Fanny.” The intense angry expression was back in Simon’s eyes.
Fanny felt her knees start to crumple. “That’s ... that’s an ultimatum.”
“No, Fanny, it’s a statement of fact. I’m going to do this. I want us to do it together. It’s what we said we both wanted for our lives. I’m doing my best to stick with the plan.”