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Authors: Kristin Miller

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“Why . . .” Eve swallowed hard, watching the slumped shoulders of an elder skulk beneath the shadowed arch and evaporate into thin air. “How did they lose the light half of their souls?”

“They chose to give it away for another. A sort of donor program that goes much deeper than anyone on earth could imagine. It’s a bargain that carries over for eternity . . . one that doesn’t even have to be sealed by words, but by thoughts or actions alone.” Lilith’s words resounded like thunder in Eve’s ears. “They will live forever in a deeper, darker dimension of this world so a loved one can have their light . . . and live.”

Eve turned, glaring up the hill at the looming silhouette next in line to stand under the arch. She’d know that shoulder-sweeping curtain of gold hair anywhere. Those broad, square shoulders, pulled back proudly. That shadowed square jaw. The strong gait that meant business.

“Ruan! No!”

 

Chapter Thirty-Four

“When love overrules fear, our society will find peace.”

San Francisco Haven Newsletter: Note from the Primus, 2011

E
VE TOOK OFF at a dead sprint up the hill. Clay sucked at her heels and kicked up on her gown. She trudged harder, picking up the taffeta folds, horrified when Ruan took his place beneath the shadowed gateway. She threw her arms into the air over her head, shaking them wildly back and forth. “Ruan! Don’t! Wait!”

His broad shoulders squared to the mountain. The sharp cut of his emerald eyes lit up when they met hers. Then, as the arch rattled, threatening to suck Ruan into a realm filled with nightmares Eve didn’t even want to think about, he stepped forward slowly, effortlessly, out of the shadows.

His brow puzzled as Eve flew into his arms. He grabbed her tight, squeezing her middle, burying his face in her neck. He pulled back, dragging his hands to cup her neck, and gazed deep into her eyes like he was trying to make sure she was real. “What are you doing here? Are you—tell me you’re not . . .”

“I’m not dead,” she finished, then kissed him, letting her mouth draw open, and his tongue slide in.

He sighed against her lips, then pulled back, staring at her gown, her hair. His eyes shone with such intense reverence she thought she’d melt from their awe. “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here.” He led her down the hill, their fingers threaded together, stopping when he spotted Lilith waiting for them at the bottom. “
You
brought her here?” he snapped. “Take her back. She doesn’t belong in this place.”

“Oh, she belongs here, and you know it.”

He tugged Eve protectively behind him. She wrapped her arms around his middle, curled her hands around his chest, and peered around his shoulder. His sweater smelled like him. A little musk. Subtle spice. A whole lot of overly possessive male.

“You know the deal, Lilith. My soul for her life. You can’t make her do your bidding like some slave. She’s free.”

Eve spun him around, despite his holding back. “What are you talking about?
Your soul to save my life?

“In the fort . . . it was the only way.”

She placed a delicate hand over his heart where the bullet wounds had pierced his rib cage. His chest sank beneath her touch. He’d given his life for her. And when he realized he couldn’t save her, he gave his soul so she could live on. That’s what he’d said to Lilith before he passed.
My soul for her life.
“There’s no need for that now, Ruan. Now that I’ve accepted my fate, you can accept yours, as my life mate. I can come here anytime I want. We can be together in this place.”

It wasn’t much, but with Ruan at her side, she could live anywhere.

“That’s not the way it works.” He grazed his thumb across the back of her hands. “I’ve already given half my soul away. To you. I’d make a joke about being half the man I used to be, but I think you’d smack me for making light.”

“Damn right I would.” Eve looked to Lilith. “What if I don’t want him to trade his soul for my life. Can’t I say no?”

“No,” Ruan answered for her as a low whooshing sound hummed from the arch. “It’s too late.” His gaze shot to the shadowed space beneath the walls of cracking stone. “They’re calling me back.”

Eve’s world caved in around her. The Ever After was much more depressing than her Catholic school teachers had made it sound when she was younger. “There has to be something we can do.”

“You’re right.” Ruan snatched her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest. She could feel him pulling away. Could feel the dark energy building beneath their feet, waiting to claim him. “You can let me go as deeply and wholeheartedly as you loved me.”

She trembled in his embrace. “I can’t. I won’t.”

“You are so beautiful, Eve.” He fingers drifted down the curve of her cheek. “Not because of the dress you’re wearing in this place or the way your hair is perfectly twisted the way it is now, but because of the way your body molds into my embrace. Because of the way your heart answers mine. Your love has given me the strength to bear any evil in this world . . . or the next.” As if the demonic clock of the Ever After struck midnight, Ruan peeled out of her arms and took off up the hill.

“Ruan, please! I love you!” Eve cried, running after him. “I don’t know how to let you go! Wait . . . I’ll go with you!”

Her last words had him charging back down the hill. Unearthly moans spilled from the hollow arch the instant he turned back. “Don’t ever say that,” he gritted between clenched teeth. “Don’t even joke it.”

“I wasn’t joking.” To her surprise, knowing the evil that could be waiting for her below this world, she meant every word. “All that matters is that we’re together.”

“Damn it, Eve, all I ever wanted was to protect you. To keep you separate from all of this. I loved you the best that I could. The only way I knew how. Now look where I’ve gotten you . . . closer to the fire than mundanely possible.” He spread his arms to the monochromatic landscape of
forever
, then slapped them against his sides. “You can’t come with me. I won’t have it. I couldn’t live with myself. The pure part of my soul is gone, don’t you see? I’m no better than the demons down there waiting for me. But you are.” He ghosted his hands along her cheeks, then settled them on her neck. “You’re the most precious thing in the world to me, Eve, and I won’t have you giving up the best part of yourself on a love-struck whim.”

“This is not a whim!” She threw herself at him then, her arms around his neck, her lips to his. The moment their mouths moved against one another, Eve knew she’d give up any part of her soul to be with him. She’d follow him to the depths of hell if it meant they could have one more minute together like this. One perfectly heavenly moment, untouched by the dreariness of the world around them.

Eve couldn’t tell if her heart began to tremor or if it was the amulet, but by the time Ruan deepened what he thought was their last kiss, her chest was aflame. Her whole body shuddered as pure white heat surged through her body and into Ruan’s, binding them together from lips to palms to hips. Waves of energy undulated beneath her skin, slowly at first, then faster and faster, until she didn’t think the pressure could build in her core any hotter. Rippling cords of energy blasted between them, joining them together.

Eve pinched her eyes shut. For a moment, she couldn’t tell which heartbeat was hers and which was his. Or which set of lungs she controlled. Or which stomach the butterflies were released in. Perhaps it was both. Together as one.

When the pressure released its grip on her core, and the light dimmed to bearable, Eve opened her eyes. She was still kissing Ruan. His emerald eyes were closed. His eyelashes rested on the soft curve of his cheek. And behind him was the jagged skyline of San Francisco.

Eve had never been happier to see the red-brown tinge of the Golden Gate in all her life. It was glorious. They’d made it out of Fort Point’s chamber and through the Ever After . . .
alive
.

She kissed Ruan again, deeper, only pulling back when she felt a familiar pair of eyes creeping on the back of her neck. Ruan held her gaze and smiled, lighting up the pre-sunrise sky.

“What just happened?” Eve asked, happy to still be wrapped in Ruan’s arms, thrust back into the reality of her jeans or not.

Lilith stepped beside them, right up to the ledge of the Sausalito lookout point. The worn leather edges of the Grimorium Verum peeked from beneath her folded arms. “Seems the purity of your soul, when sacrificed for another, was rich enough to split into two.”

“You mean . . . ?” Ruan began, too scared to speak the hope aloud.

“Thanks to Eve, you have the entirety of your soul back. You owe nothing to the Ever After.”

Ruan lifted Eve into his arms and spun her around. Her feet flew behind her as free as her heart felt. Then just as quickly, he put her down. “What does that mean for us?”

“You have been joined in Valcdana.” Lilith sat on the knee-high stone ledge that guarded from a dangerous fall into the bay and dangled her feet over the side. “She is your life mate and you are hers.” When Eve opened her mouth to refute Lilith’s words with vampire tradition, she said, “Contrary to what some members of the vampire race would have you believe, the Valcdana ceremony began not with the draining and passing of blood from partner to partner, but with sacrificing the physical body in the most extreme way possible. One life for another, dead in the other’s stead, and brought back, each in turn. That is the true meaning of Valcdana, which you two have completed.”

Ruan squeezed Eve tightly against him, until there was no space left between their bodies. Eve wanted to be closer still. She could never be close enough. Could never love him more than she did this moment.

“Do not forget,” Lilith continued, stroking the cover of the Grimorium Verum that had settled into the soft folds of her crimson gown. “She must do her duty, as discussed.” She looked to Eve and nodded, expecting compliance that Eve wouldn’t deny. “Along with the obligation to pass elders to the Ever After comes the privilege of passing through as often as you’d like. With that blessing, you will age much more slowly than any other mundane on earth and live as long as a normal, healthy vampire. You will also be able to use the mawares of the elders in your presence.”

Savage had said something about the elders in her presence back at the fort. He’d said . . .

“Yes,” Lilith whispered. “You can mystify elders, but only so they cannot involuntarily harm you as they pass into the Ever After. In your presence, their mawares transfer to you to use as you wish.”

“If what you’re saying is true, why can’t I . . .” Eve blushed, realizing how harsh her words could come off if she didn’t tread lightly. She was about to challenge the oldest vampire on record, after all . . . “What I mean is, if I can mystify elders in my presence, why do you still have an effect on me?”

“You are still so young.” Lilith smiled secretively. “And still so stupid.” She picked a loose pebble off the wall and flipped it into the bay. “You’ll soon learn that not everything is as it appears to be. But for now, you owe me a talk . . . Ruan?” She patted the stone next to her.

Ruan’s heart clenched. Eve felt it slow to a murmur, not because Ruan’s body was pressed so closely against hers, but because it felt like her heart was the one that stilled. They were still connected, body and soul. She wondered if they’d always be this way. God, she hoped so.

Ruan took his place at Lilith’s right and tugged Eve right onto his lap. He held her close, draped her legs over his. They peered out, together, to where the great span of crystal blue bent over the horizon.

Lilith sighed. “My dear, sweet Ruan . . . it is my honor to inform you that you’ve successfully transitioned.”

“What do you mean,
transitioned
?” Ruan asked.

“You were fully committed to leaving all other worldly things behind. That included Eve. You’ve been the appropriate age to transition into elder status since the beginning of this century, but we’ve been waiting for you to have Eve’s true best interest at heart. You had to be willing to give your life to leave her behind. And you did.”

He struggled to take a full breath as he shifted his attention to Eve. He eyed her lips, then let his gaze trail lower, slowing on her neck. “I can still hear your blood rushing beneath your skin.” He rubbed his cheek across hers; coarse stubble brushed her skin, leaving a blush of chills behind. He dipped down to her collar, breathed her in. “I can smell that your blood would be sugary sweet . . . perfection, as always . . . but I could resist the pull if I wanted to. How is this possible?” His breath was hot and moist on her neck. He shifted his hips beneath her, until she could feel his desire pressing between her legs.

“Simple. When you became an elder, thereby giving up worldly things, you gave up worldly urges,” Lilith spoke up, severing the naughty mental image Eve had created about Ruan freely pulling from her vein now that the threat to drain her had vanished. She was ready to take all of him in . . . right here, right now. He must’ve sensed her urgency because he gripped her hips tighter, his fingers gouging flesh. She swallowed hard, struggling to hear the rest of Lilith’s words.

“Of course you’ll need blood to survive,” Lilith droned. “And you’ll find things are just as pleasurable as they were before. But the level of restraint is more powerful than a normal vamp. You’ve ascended, Ruan. You’ll even be able to resist the pull to the purest blood source on the planet.” She gave Eve a slow wink. “You see, as elders we are
above
the others. As such we have a higher level of responsibility. Especially now that Savage will have a hoard of death shades at his disposal.”

Hesitantly, Eve tapped her fingers against the raised marks on her neck. It was tender to the touch. Ruan growled, looked away. Eve wondered how much blood Savage had taken from her and what the consequences of that draw would be. She’d almost completely forgotten about Savage and the elders. Being in the Ever After for such a short time made everything that happened at Fort Point seem like an eternity ago.

“But I freed them.” Eve clutched the amulet against her chest. Remnants of energy still tingled against her skin. “The death shades Savage took control over . . . they belong to the elders we saw in the Ever After, right? You said I bound their shades and freed them.”

“Yes, my dear, but we weren’t able to rescue the rest of the elders in the fort. Some of their mawares are intellectually or emotionally driven. Those won’t give them a fighting shot against him. If Savage drains them while the purity of your blood is still coursing through his veins, their death shades will bind to him. We’re talking no limits now.”

“But for now it’s over.” Ruan said, nuzzling into Eve’s neck. “We deal with Savage another day.”

Eve closed her eyes, pinched them tight, tried not to imagine a future with the threat of Savage in it. “And then what?”

“We gather our forces,” Lilith continued. “Find out what Savage’s next move is. If he does bind the death shades to himself, we need to figure out what he plans to use them for.” Lilith hopped off the barrier wall. “Dylan and Slade are waiting for you at ReVamp and Dante should be making his way there as we speak. You’ll need to bond to defeat him. Remember that.” They watched Lilith stride down the narrow path leading back toward the freeway. “Oh, and Ruan,” she called, turning back, just before the path curved around a boulder and out of sight. “Just a little advice . . . the maware we bestowed upon you . . . be careful with it at first, will you? That one can be a bit touchy. We don’t gift it to just anyone.”

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