Use Somebody (16 page)

Why did it feel like I was being scolded? I shrugged but refused to look away in shame. I hadn’t read those texts since before
that night…
but I hadn’t been ready to delete them either.

“Please don’t tell me you’re
pining
over him.”

I blinked my eyes in rapid succession. “I don’t know what I am.”

He recoiled back. I think he honestly expected me to deny it. He leaned down and looked me straight into the eyes, not a hint of warmth still there. “He’s gone, Scar. He’s not coming back.”

“I know!” I turned away and stood with my arms crossed, unable to face him. I wasn’t in denial that
he was gone
. It was precisely that fact which haunted me. “I just… I want to work through it, figure out what went wrong, but I’m not ready yet.”

“You think you’re ever gonna be ready? To find all the answers? Some grand reason behind it all?”

I didn’t respond.

“Just lay it to rest, already. And delete this shit.” With that, he tossed my phone down. It clattered and slid on the counter top as he stormed back to clean up his work station. The air emanating from him buzzed with frustration. And it seemed to me like he made a whole lot more noise than necessary.

I released a long-winded sigh. There was something about Ricky Storm that made me feel unbelievably strong. He taught me how to read and how to fight. He protected me from my past and my present. He marked my skin with effing tiger stripes.

But he could also make me feel about two inches tall.

* * *

Ricky dropped me off at Mooshi just as the sun was coming up.

To my surprise there was something waiting for me, resting on the hood of my car—a flat, wrapped package with a big red bow.

Curious, I climbed into the driver’s seat, holding the gift in my lap. There didn’t appear to be a card, but I had a pretty good idea of who it was from. I stared at it for several minutes before deciding to open it.

Lo and behold, inside was a small, leather bound book with a vintage-looking cover, sprinkled with musical notes and ornate swirls in red and black. I flipped through the lined pages, inhaling the clean scent of notebook paper, filled with future thoughts and endless potential.

A new journal.

Some ink on the inside cover caught my attention, and I turned to the front to find a handwritten note:

S,

“The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

It’s time to start again.

Happy Birthday,

-V

Awestruck, I read the note twice, then flipped through the beautifully blank pages again before finally tapping out a text.

Scar: Safe and sound.

Scar: You didn’t have to do this. But thank you.

“What can I say? I wasn’t meant to be a pastry chef,” Summer answered. “But you know what I’ve
really
always wanted to be?”

“What’s that?” I inquired.

“An airline stewardess. Just think! All the cool people to meet and the beautiful places to travel… Talk about a dream job!”

“Professional barf cleaner,” Cole teased, and scarfed down a rather large onion ring.

“I think it’s great,” I said. “I bet you’d get tons of benefits and rewards for all the hotels you’d stay at. And you’d get to sleep in a different city every night! I wonder what kind of work experience they require for getting a job like that? You could probably start out as a waitress. That might be useful.”

“Oh…” she said. I could see her wheels spinning as our words stole some of the glory from her dream job. I always faced these kinds of decisions with a practical approach, but as her excitement dimmed, I felt kinda bad.

The funny thing is, I was actually just trying to help.

“Where be Vance?” Kiki mused, spinning her bar seat in lazy circles. The four of us sat at the counter of Honey’s diner with onion rings and fried mozzarella sticks, just because. “Thought I saw his truck already.”

Summer flicked her wrist flippantly. “Probably on the phone fighting with Evelyn.”

Cole grunted in agreement.

My head snapped in their direction. This was news to me. “Vance? Fighting?”
Yelling, name calling, blaming?
I shook the image out of my head in disbelief. “I can’t picture that.”

“You have
met
Evelyn, haven’t you?” Cole asked, as if this explained everything.

“Yes,” I responded, as if that didn’t explain anything. “Sort of.”

Kiki continued spinning. Her orange waves fanned out around her. “Didn’t you notice? Evelyn’s kind of… controlling.”

“Controlling is a nice way of putting it,” Summer added, then she faced me with all seriousness. “Evelyn is a bitch.”

The two girls giggled conspiratorially. I frowned. There was no way Vance would appreciate them talking about his girlfriend like that.

“Hey!” Cole scolded his sister. At least someone agreed with me. “If you don’t have something nice to say, then it better be funny!”

“Oh don’t get all butthurt, Cole,” Kiki said. “I happen to find it very funny.”

“Well I didn’t,” he argued back.

“Well awesome possum for you.”

Good gracious.

Normally I hated gossip. But I was now morbidly curious about the couple I had formerly put on a pedestal. By the way Vance had always portrayed his relationship, I envisioned the perfect love and highest adoration. Fighting and controlling were not at all part of that picture.

“I’m sure she has redeeming qualities,” I offered. “She makes him happy.”

“Not anymore, she doesn’t,” Summer huffed. “I don’t know why he still puts up with her.”

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy,” Kiki quipped. “History, first love, rose-colored glasses, all that jazz. Take your pick.”

I nodded, absorbing her explanation.
Been there
. I recalled the day she came into Mooshi and she wouldn’t even look at me. Good to know that was nothing personal.

“I give it another month,” Kiki added in. “Maybe two.”

“Hope you’re right,” said Summer.

This conversation had my head reeling. How could his best friends be looking forward to his heartbreak? “I just always thought that he was happy. That they had something special, you know?”

“I thought you didn’t believe in love,” Kiki jeered, a smile on her lips.

I grimaced at the crumpled napkin in my hands. She was right, I had said that. So why did I feel so disappointed, just because another relationship was less than perfect?

“Maybe I just wanted someone to prove me wrong,” I said faintly.

The others droned on as I got lost in my own thoughts. Vance had become a good friend to me. He seemed happy in his relationship, and despite everything, it had given me hope. But this knowledge had blindsided me. All of a sudden, it felt like I didn’t know him as well as I thought.

Just then, our regular hostess walked in, tying her apron behind her. When she saw me, she looked up and smiled. “Hey, Rosie! Where’s your boyfriend tonight?”

My face burned ten shades of red as all eyes focused on me at once. There was only one person who called me Rosie. And immediately everyone took her misunderstanding as truth.

“Boyfriend?” Kiki shrieked.

“Rosie?!” Summer yelled.

Cole was trying to wave them off between laughs. “Calm down you two! This is
Vance
we’re talking about. It can’t be what you’re thinking.” But the grin he shot me then told me he was hoping so.

The hostess smiled hesitantly. “Did I say something wrong? You guys come in here together all the time, I thought—”

“We just work together,” I stressed, mortified. They were all so eager to jump to conclusions. “Sometimes we come here for pancakes after a late shift. That’s all.”

“He’s really not your boyfriend?” the hostess asked, displaying a bit too enthusiasm.

I shook my head.

“That doesn’t mean he’s available,” Summer added for the hostess’ benefit.

“Oh,” she said, disappointed. “Oh well. See ya later.”

“And my name isn’t
Rosie,”
I called after her. “It’s Scar.”

After that, Summer and Kiki got lost in their own conversation. Their jabbering turned into secret whispers, casting furtive glances that I pretended not to notice.
Rude.
Considering the way they spoke of Evelyn, I could only imagine what was said in my absence. Especially if it had to do with the me and Vance and one misunderstanding, which was based on a complete and utter fallacy.

I had no idea our nights at Honey’s were secret or scandalous. Just the same, the awkwardness mounted. For the first time I got the distinct impression we had done something wrong.

Speaking of Vance, where was he? Still on the phone? I wanted him to join us, so at least I’d have someone here who wouldn’t make me feel like a total outsider.

Cole nudged my shoulder. I looked over at him questioningly. He leaned in close and spoke low in my ear.

“Might want to make sure Evelyn doesn’t find out about the pancakes.”

I blinked at him. “I’m sure she knows.”

“I
guarantee
she doesn’t know. Kiki and Summer can be all shits and giggles, but they aren’t far off about this. Evelyn never would’ve allowed Vance to hang out with another girl. Even a coworker.
No way
she’d let him come here regularly with you.”

My bottom lip caught between my teeth. “We didn’t mean anything by it.”

He smiled kindly. “I know you didn’t.”

“Then why would Vance lie to her?”

He didn’t have an answer to that. In fact he looked as conflicted as I felt on the issue. But he was right about one thing—if Evelyn was indeed as possessive as they described, she would not be okay this.

Until tonight, their relationship had always seemed infallible. I never even considered the possibility that our friendship could cause problems between them. Thank goodness Evelyn hadn’t been with us tonight to hear the hostess’ mistake firsthand.

“So… we’ll just stop,” I decided. I enjoyed the conversations and meals we shared, and I’d miss them, but it was the obvious solution. “I have my own car now, so I won’t even have to ask him for rides.”

He shrugged and picked up another onion ring. “Up to you.”

My mind was still spinning as I waited for Vance to join us. All his best friends seemed so sure that his relationship with the love of his life was on the rocks. I tended to be kind of aloof and not so great at reading people. But by now I knew Vance well enough; I shouldn’t have missed something this big.

From the moment he walked into the diner, I took extra care to watch his expression and body language for something I may have missed: troubles, worries, even a shred of doubt. If he had just been arguing on the phone, he wouldn’t be able to hide it that well, would he?

But from where I was sitting, there was nothing out of the ordinary. He looked perfectly normal as he approached the counter. Once his eyes found mine, he greeted me with his usual, bright smile. And all was right again.

See? I knew they had to be wrong.

* * *

[Past]

Unlike the first seven days after we met, Gabriel kept in close contact with me since the incident in the field. Each night ended with an exchange of texts. A few times we snuck off to get lattes together. He was always his sweet but protective self, taking his promise seriously to make me feel safe. Yet he never gave a clear sign that he wanted to take things beyond friendship.

Secretly, my feelings for him were deepening. The young romantic inside me responded to the heroic side of him. But if he was determined to keep it platonic, I would only follow his lead. Better that than lose him altogether.

Lexi and I were about to walk out of Professor Queen’s class when I spotted Gabriel in the distance.

I stopped. Lexi still didn’t know anything about Gabriel. Our relationship was still too tenuous and new, and I didn’t trust it to hold against the forces of Lexi Monroe.

“I forgot my pen,” I lied, walking backwards further into the room. “Go on. I’ll catch up.”

“Whatever,” she continued without looking up from her cell.

Gabriel hadn’t spotted me yet. I peeked from behind the door and waited for her to leave.

To my dismay, I watched as Gabriel noticed Lexi walking by. His head popped up and turned to follow her gait. I was too far away to see his expression, but he seemed to keep his eyes on her until she was all the way out of sight.

Something inside me clenched. Of course he noticed her. She was beautiful. And it wasn’t like he was my boyfriend or anything. He was free to look at whoever he wanted. Still, I couldn’t help but hear that little voice in my ear, saying I would never measure up next to girls like Lexi… next to someone like him.

He glanced around searching the faces, and I knew he was looking for me. After a few deep breaths, I walked towards him, resigned. I tried to smile without showing him how much it hurt watching him check out another girl. A girl who just so happened to be my best friend of twelve years. A girl who would always be superior.

When he saw me, he smiled brightly for a moment, then it dimmed and he made his way towards me.

“Scarlett,” he said gently when we reached each other. “Alright, love?”

I really needed to work on my poker face.

Just then, another student hurried past us to exit the classroom, shoving me straight into Gabriel. He caught me with ease, much like he had the very first night we met. And for a moment I was suspended in the absolute bliss of being held in his arms again. His body was just as solid and strong. His scent just as intoxicating…

But while our contact had my brain swimming with want, his blue eyes were locked right beyond me, narrow and hard.

“I’ve seen better manners on sewer rats,” Gabriel stated.

“Then watch where I’m going,” the other boy grunted in haste.

I could feel a wave of tension roll through Gabriel in response. His eyes didn’t waver.

“It’s okay,” I said, reluctantly straightening. “It was an accident.”

“I believe the lad still owes you an apology.”

Since that day in the field, the frat boys had all been cold and distant towards me in class, for which I was grateful. But by the irreverent tone of his voice and the predatory look in his eyes, apparently this one hadn’t quite learned his lesson.

Noticing my proximity to Gabriel, he grew a bit of foolish courage. “Nice try bro, but you’re not gonna get very far with that one,” he said with a derisive laugh.

My eyes bulged at his remark.
Really? In front of Gabriel?

“Tread carefully, lad.” He didn’t even need to raise his voice for it to sound baleful. “No good ever came from provoking me, I can assure you.”

He turned to face us. “Whoa, bro, so hardcore. What are you gonna do about it?”

The two squared off. “For the lady’s sake I’ve tried to be discreet. Shall I be more direct? Because I excel at direct.” Once again I could see the avenging angel emerge. It wasn’t difficult to see who was superior, but the other boy didn’t seem smart enough to back down this time.

“Please, Gabriel,” I whispered with a light tug on his arm. “Let’s just go.”

He frowned down at me. “I gave you my word.”

“I was just trying to help you out, bro.” The boy shrugged his shoulders, indifferent. “Forget it. By all means, enjoy your celibacy with Curly Q, here.”

My shoulders slumped and my chin dropped to my chest, officially humiliated.