Upside Down Inside Out

Upside Down, Inside Out

Monica Mcinerney

Ever been tempted to pretend you were someone exotic, someone adventurous… someone different?

Set in Ireland, England and Australia, this is the funny and heartwarming story of two people whose lives are about to turn upside down and inside out.

Eva is off to Australia on a break from her job in a Dublin delicatessen, hoping to forget a fizzled romance and find inspiration for a new career. Joseph is taking a holiday from his stressful London job. Each is on a search for some answers about life. Then something quite unexpected happens. They meet each other.

Upside Down Inside Out is a novel about love, adventure, honesty and discovering that the person you’ve always wanted to be might just be the person you already are.

Monica Mcinerney grew up in a family of seven children in the Clare Valley wine region of South Australia, where her father was the railway stationmaster. She has worked in children’s television, arts marketing, the music industry, public relations and book publishing, and lived all around Australia and in Ireland and England. She is the author of four bestselling novels, A Taste for It, Upside Down Inside Out, Spin the Bottle and The Alphabet Sisters, published in Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, the UK, Canada, South Africa, India, the USA and in translation in Europe. Her new novel, Family Baggage, will be published in June 2005. She now lives in Dublin with her husband.

For more information please visit www.monicamcinerney.com

Also by Monica Mcinerney A Taste for It Spin the Bottle The Alphabet Sisters MONICA MCINERNEY

Updside down, Inside Out Penguin Books

Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group (Australia) 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) Penguin Group (USA) Inc. 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada) 10 Alcorn Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V 3B2 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd 80 Strand, London WC2R ORL, England Penguin Ireland 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ) Cnr Airborne and Rosedale Roads, Albany, Auckland, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London, WC2R ORL, England

First published by Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 2002 This edition published by Penguin Group (Australia), a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd, 2005

13579 10 8642

Copyright Š Monica Mcinerney 2002 The moral right of the author has been asserted All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

Design and illustration by Cathy Larsen Š Penguin Group (Australia) Typeset in 10.5/14 pt Sabon by Post Pre-press Group, Brisbane, Queensland Printed and bound in Australia by McPherson’s Printing Group, Maryborough, Victoria

National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication data:

Mcinerney, Monica. Upside down inside out. New ed. ISBN 0 14 300384 4. I. Title. A823.4 www.penguin.com.au

For Mary, Lea, Marie and Maura

Thanks to my two families - the Mcinerneys in Clare, Adelaide, Jamestown, Hobart and Melbourne, and the Drislanes in Ireland and Germany; my two publishers - everyone at Penguin in Australia, especially Clare Forster, Ali Watts, Meredith Rose and Rebecca Steinberg, and to the Poolbeg team in Ireland, especially Paula Campbell and Gaye Shortland. Thanks also to Max and Jean Fatchen, Karen O’Connor, Bart Meldau, Mikaella Clements, Rob and Stephanie Mcinerney, Steven ‘Millipede’ Milanese, Annie O’Neill, Janet Grecian, Christopher Pearce, Marea Fox, Jane Melross, Helen Chryssides, Leonie Boothby, Fiona Gillies, Anne Pett, Julie-Ann Finney, Mary Conlon, Eilish Conlon, Niamh Naughton and Eimear Duggan. Big thanks to my friend and agent Eveleen Coyle in Dublin. And once again, special thanks to two people - to my sister Maura for her insight, encouragement and patience, and to my husband John, for all that and more.

Dublin, Ireland

Eva Kennedy had just stepped into the cold March air when a watermelon rolled across the footpath in front of her.

‘Sorry ‘bout that, Eva love,’ a middle-aged woman called over. ‘It’s been trying to make a run for it all day, that one.’

Eva picked up the runaway fruit and passed it across to Brenda, who was surrounded by the remnants of her fruit and vegetable stall. There were boxes of cabbages and oranges piled high on the Camden Street footpath around her. Her son was dismantling the stall itself, loading the wooden trays into a van parked illegally beside the footpath, its interior light throwing out a dim glow.

‘Howya, Eva,’ Sean called from the back of the van. ‘Any chance of a pint together tonight?’

‘No chance at all, Sean. Haven’t you given up on me yet?’

‘Never. You’ve my heart broken, you know.’

Eva just laughed at him. Not even fourteen years old and he was already full of cheek.

She had just started pulling down the delicatessen’s security shutter when she heard someone calling her name. It was Mrs Gallagher, one of her favourite customers, walking quickly down Camden Street and waving a shopping list like a small white flag.

‘Eva, I’m so sorry,’ she said breathlessly as she reached her side. ‘I just couldn’t get away from work before now. Am I too late?’

‘Of course not, Mrs Gallagher. I wasn’t going home yet anyway.’ She pushed the shutter all the way up again and opened the front door, the bell giving its little ring as they walked in. The shop was warm, the air fragrant with the mingled smells of fresh bread, coffee, cheese and spices.

Mrs Gallagher gave an appreciative sniff. ‘Thank you for this, Eva. I’ve friends coming over for dinner and I promised them some of your wonderful cheese.’

‘It’s no problem at all.’ Eva went in behind the counter, tied on an apron again and pulled on some gloves. ‘Ambrose and I are having a quick meeting after work in any case.’

‘Now, that’s the sort of meeting I’d like to have. I can just imagine what you two talk about. “What do you think of this cheese, Eva?” “Is this olive oil

good enough?” “Are these chocolates chocolatey enough?”’

Eva laughed at the envious look on Mrs Gallagher’s face. ‘That’s about it, actually. Now, which cheese were you after? We’ve your favourite here, this crumbly farmhouse one, or perhaps you’d like to try this new one? A smoked cheddar, from a small producer near Cork that Ambrose heard about. It’s something special, I have to say.’ Mrs Gallagher took a taste, then smacked her lips in pleasure. ‘Oh yes, I’ll have a good wedge of that, Eva, thank you. Where is Ambrose, by the way?’

‘In the Bermuda Triangle.’

‘Where?’

‘Our storeroom. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times we reorganise it, things just disappear in there, never to be seen again.’

‘Sounds just like my filing cabinet at work. And tell me, how will Ambrose cope without you while you’re off gallivanting in New York with that young man of yours?’

‘My cousin Meg is coming up from Ennis to help out. She’s just finished a course at the Ardmahon House cooking school and really wants the work experience.’

‘Oh, that’s a marvellous place, apparently. I’ll nave to ask her for some recipe tips. Now, let me think, can I have some of that camembert? And some of the blue vein as well, while you’re there.’

Eva had just taken out the wheel of camembert when she heard the front doorbell ring. She looked up, her smile fading slightly at the sight of a redfaced elderly woman. Mrs Lacey. The Terror of Camden Street.

‘I know it’s after six, but you’re still here, so of course you can serve me,’ Mrs Lacey said loudly as she rummaged in her bag. ‘It’s ridiculous the hours you shop people keep. You should be suiting us, your paying customers, not yourselves, if you ask me, Eva.’

Yes, Mrs Lacey. And may I say how especially toadlike you look today. A pound of our finest dried flies, was it? Or some of this pond slime flown in fresh from Galway this morning? Perhaps you’d just like to flick that long toady tongue of yours over the counter here and serve yourself?

‘I’ll be with you in just one minute, Mrs Lacey. Just as soon as I finish looking after Mrs Gallagher here.’

Mrs Lacey stared at the other woman as if she had magically appeared out of nowhere. ‘But I’m in a hurry. Where’s that uncle of yours? Surely he can serve me?’

What a good idea, Eva thought. She called over her shoulder. ‘Ambrose, I wonder could you give me a hand out here for a moment?’

A tall, grey-haired man emerged from the storeroom and took in the situation at a glance. ‘Mrs

Gallagher, how are you? I see Eva is looking after you. So, Mrs Lacey, I have the privilege of looking after you. What a pleasure to see you. You’re looking so well, too.’

Ambrose caught Eva’s eye and gave her the quickest of winks.

Five minutes later, Eva followed both women out to make sure the Closed sign was firmly in place and the security shutter pulled right down. A gust of icy wind rushed in at her. She shivered. The end of March and it was still freezing. It was supposed to be spring, surely. What had her friend Lainey been boasting about on the phone from Australia the day before? Autumn in Melbourne and she was still going to the beach to swim at weekends. Eva wondered sometimes if Lainey just made these things up to make her jealous.

‘You managed to see dear Mrs Lacey safely off the premises, then?’ Ambrose asked as she came back in.

‘Oh, now the truth comes out! “Mrs Lacey, what a pleasure to see you. You’re looking so well, too.” You’re a silver-tongued devil, Ambrose Kennedy.’

‘Years of practice, Evie. And haven’t I always told you about the first law of shopkeeping? You can think what you like as long as you keep a smile on your face.’

‘Mrs Lacey’s a law unto herself, if you ask me. I don’t suppose we could install a moat to keep her out, could we? That security shutter’s useless.’

‘No, I’m fairly certain she can swim. Now, are you still all right to stay back for a quick meeting? I won’t keep you too long, I promise.’

‘It’s fine, I’m in no hurry.’

She’d been surprised when Ambrose asked her to stay back tonight. Their last catchup meeting had been just three weeks ago. Still, maybe some problem had come up and he thought it better to discuss it with her before she went on holiday.

Eva enjoyed their meetings. They were a chance to compare notes on which products were selling well, which ones weren’t, what requests they’d had. A laugh about some of the worst customers, generally Mrs Lacey. A moan about suppliers. A general chat about the shop’s comings and goings. She suspected the meetings helped ease Ambrose’s loneliness too. Since his wife Sheila had died suddenly of a heart attack four years before, Ambrose had stayed living in the flat above the shop on his own. It had been a very hard few years for him.

She made a pot of coffee and took out several freshly baked ginger biscuits from a glass jar on the counter. Then she settled herself on a chair at the edge of the storeroom, waiting while Ambrose put a folder of papers back on the shelf above his desk.

‘You look very serious,’ she said as he turned toward her. ‘Don’t tell me our olive-oil man has run off with the butcher’s wife? Just as we beat him down on price and all?’

‘No, oil’s well that ends well there,’ he said, smiling at his own joke. He took a biscuit and sat down opposite her. ‘Tell me, Evie, how long have you been with me now? Six years? Or is it seven?’

Ambrose in reminiscence mode? She was surprised. ‘Seven years all up. Those three years part-time while I was studying, and it’s been nearly four years fulltime now.’

He nodded slowly. ‘Do you ever miss the painting, Evie? Miss being at art school?’

‘Well, sometimes, I suppose. The painting more than the study, of course.’

‘And that cover band you used to sing with? Is that still going, do you know?’

‘It is, yes.’ She often saw the band’s name in gig listings in the newspapers. When she’d sung with them, they’d done mostly private parties and weddings. Now they seemed to be playing at lots of pubs around town.

‘And do you regret having to give that up as well?’

‘I did miss it at first,’ she answered, even more puzzled. It wasn’t like Ambrose to ask questions like these. ‘But I couldn’t work here fulltime and do that too, I knew that.’

Ambrose shifted in his chair. She noticed then he didn’t have the orders sheet in front of him as he usually did. She realised this wasn’t a normal catchup meeting.

‘Eva, I need to discuss something with you and I’ve decided it’s best to do it before you go on holiday with Dermot.’