Up Your Score
Authors: Larry Berger & Michael Colton,Michael Colton,Manek Mistry,Paul Rossi,Workman Publishing
2013 – 2014 Edition
THE UNDERGROUND GUIDE TO THE SAT
by Larry Berger, Michael Colton, JaJa Liao, Manek Mistry, and Paul Rossi
Illustrations by Chris Kalb
WORKMAN PUBLISHING • NEW YORK
O
O
UR
P
ARENTS
F
LORENCE AND
T
OBY
B
ERGER
E
LLEN AND
C
LARK
C
OLTON
D
EAN AND
E
LAINE
L
IAO
V
IRGINIA AND
N
ARIMAN
M
ISTRY
C
HARLINE AND
F
AUST
R
OSSI
CKNOWLEDGMENTS
There are many people who have helped us with
Up Your Score
. Listed in alphabetical order, the following people deserve our deep gratitude:
Matt Alisch, Kara Klinke, John Murphy, Matt Pagel, Kabir Seth, Aaron Van Oosterhout, and Ying Zhang for their cultural expertise and numerous suggestions over the lunch table
Doris Berger, for her devoted promotional work
Florence Berger, Cornell University professor, for helping with the memory and concentration chapters, and for revealing her secret recipe for Sweet and Tasty 800 Bars
Toby Berger, electrical engineering professor at Cornell University, for calculating the statistics that prove our methods work, advising us on the math section, and correcting our mistayckes
David Bock, Ithaca High School, for being a terrific math teacher, for the valuable ideas he gave us for the guessing section, and for his editing assistance
Belle Cohen, for being the best PR and Marketing grandmother in the business
Brian Colton, for being himself
Clark Colton, for superb editing and negotiating
Ellen and Jill Colton, for support, encouragement, and TLC
Jason Colton, for his business savvy
Randy A. Faigin, for her suggestions and supportiveness
Dennis Ferguson, for his excellent proofreading
Nous remercions bien cordialement les Fougerays d’avoir si aimablement hébergé Paul, et les Warchols d’avoir hébergé Michael
Florence Harris, for her generous editing assistance and advice
Lynn C. Harris, for her extraordinary support, outstanding advice, and hilarious contributions
Sharon Herbstman, for helping with astuteness and zeal and everything in between
All our friends in the Ithaca High School Class of ’86, and the Newton North High School Class of ’93, for their all-around greatness, encouragement, and suggestions
Milton Kagan, one of the few SAT coaches who really knows his stuff, for sharing some of his excellent ideas with us
Andrea Kochie, Ithaca High School, for being an amazing college admissions advisor, and for helping us acquire so much of the information that we needed
Dean and Elaine Liao, for supporting JaJa in all of her various endeavors over the years, and Kristy Liao, for being the best sister imaginable
Dr. Elizabeth Mandell, for her medical consultation for the “Little Circles” section
Kevin McMahon, Ithaca High School math teacher, for his suggestions about the math section
James Pullman, amazing English teacher at IHS, for helping us plan the writing section
Rita Rosenkranz, the agent John Grisham wishes he had, for scoring a perfect 2400 on the Super Agent Test
Charline and Faust Rossi, for the many kind efforts they have made on our behalf
Bob Schaeffer and FairTest, for advice and information
David Schwarz, for his insightful editorial guidance
Linda Shapiro, for recommending Michael and launching his literary career
Helen Smith, for teaching Michael how to write good
Paul Sondel, Williamsville East High School, for helping with the new math topics, and for knowing that equations have emotions too, just like everybody else
Daniel Beasely, Jeffrey Chien, Sophia Chung, Aryana Derakshan, Vincent Donato, Nishani Mathi, Cori Shea, and Brian Tsai for always having JaJa’s back in the jungle
The folks at Workman Publishing, for their astuteness, audacity, alacrity, and ardor—Margot Herrera and Heather Schwedel for their brilliant editing, Peter Workman for taking us on, Jessica Rozler for her attention to detail, and Ariana Abud for great design work
The Yale Class of ’90: Deborah Bloom, Jeff Dolven, Amelia Eisch, David Franklin, James Hanaham, Chris Kincade, Julian Kleindorfer, Andrew Michaelson, Jim Rosenfeld, Zachary Silverstein, SM 1845J, Mike Warren, and Jay Withgott, for their contributions, humor, and support.
Introduction: A Brief History of This Book
One Afternoon in the Ithaca High School Cafeteria Way Back in the Late ’80s
Before We Begin, Any Questions?
An Author’s Note Intended to Build Confidence
The Story of the Evil Testing Serpent
C
HAPTER 2
The Critical Reading Section
The Story of Little-Read Writing Serpent
The 13 Rules of the Writing Test
C
HAPTER 5
Guessing, or The ETS Strikes Back: Impostors from Hell
Guessing, the SAT, and the Specter of World Destruction
C
HAPTER 6
But Wait! You Also Get
. . .
Proctors: Mindless Slaves of the ETS
Don’t Let Your Parents Read This!
Some Other Thoughts on Getting into College
A B
RIEF
H
ISTORY OF
T
HIS
B
OOK
NE
A
FTERNOON IN THE
I
THACA
H
IGH
S
CHOOL
C
AFETERIA
W
AY
B
ACK IN THE
L
ATE
‘80
S
“This book really stinks,” Paul yawned as he pulled the crust off his sandwich, scattering Miracle Whip all over
page 12
of Barron’s SAT guide.
“Yeah, what’s the point of the SAT anyway?”
“To cause us pain and suffering,” Manek mumbled.
“You know what’s wrong with these SAT review books?”
“No, what?” asked Larry.
“They’re all written by embalmed educators who were born before the invention of the number 2 pencil, before the SAT itself, and before
The Brady Bunch
went on the air.”
“If I wrote an SAT review book, it wouldn’t be so boring.”
“I know what you mean. If I wrote an SAT review book, it would be erudite, yet not bombastic, it would elucidate the turbid depths of this baneful examination, and carry students to new heights of academic self-actualization . . .”
“Yeah, and have lots of skin.”
“You know, Larry’s right. If we could write an awesome manual telling confused, bored, and frustrated students like us across this great land how to rock on the SAT we would—”
“We would be making a contribution to society that . . .”
“. . . that could bring us enough funds to pay for college.”
“. . . and a chance to get on
Jimmy Fallon
.”
“
Fallon
? Do you really think so?”
A few months later, after Larry, Manek, and Paul each scored over 1500 on the SAT (excellent scores at the time), they began work on a review book that shared their secrets of SAT success. It was called
Up Your Score,
and it helped many students get into prestigious colleges that cost more than they could afford.
EARS
L
ATER
. . .
Over the next six years, Larry, Manek, and Paul grew old and joined bingo and shuffleboard leagues, and the SAT also changed. Because too many students had read
Up Your Score
and outsmarted the test, the SAT was revised. In order to meet this
new challenge, Larry, Manek, and Paul decided to seek out some young blood, and searched long and hard for a new coauthor to update the book. Eventually, they decided upon Michael Colton, a brilliant young rebel from Massachusetts who had achieved a perfect 1600 by reading
Up Your Score
and who also baked award-winning chocolate chip cookies.
