Up High in the Trees (29 page)

He likes the peanut butter kind, I tell her.

Right, Cass says. She looks at the picture in my book of the race car track. We could make a practice batch today, she says, for Mrs. Alden.

Mrs. Alden is the social worker. She's coming to look at our house and see how we live.

The twelve o'clock news is coming on, says Cass. I want to watch. You stay here and draw, she tells me.

Then we'll make cookies? I ask.

Okay, she says.

Leo drops his heavy red backpack in the hallway and runs to the bathroom. I stand outside the door and listen to him pee and then flush. He doesn't turn on the sink to wash his hands.

Jesus, Leo says when he bumps into me on the way out.

What is it? he asks me.

I hand him the peanut butter cookie that I'm holding.

Eat it, I tell him.

Okay, Leo says. He takes a bite.

We walk to the kitchen together and I watch him chew. Cass is sitting at the table, reading her book about where to go to college. She looks up at Leo.

Hey, she says to him, you heard, the troops had no problems so far.

Yeah, says Leo.

Does it taste very good? I ask him. We made them for Dad, I say.

Leo takes one of the tall glasses out of the cabinet and then opens the refrigerator. He holds the cookie in his mouth and pours his glass full of milk.

It's good, Leo says. I like them a little saltier, though. He puts the milk back in the refrigerator and takes out his jar of pickles.

He likes them saltier, I tell Cass.

I heard, she says. She keeps reading her book.

I sit down with Leo.

The cookie's good, he says. Will you stop staring at me now?

Okay, I say. I look at my hands on the table and fold them together like how you pray.

Can you take him to the library with you? Cass asks Leo. I think he needs to get out of the house for a while, she says.

Sure, says Leo. He starts eating his pickles now.

I look at him and then remember not to.

Maybe I'll go to Reed College, Cass says.

Where's that? Leo asks.

Oregon, says Cass.

Shit, Leo says, you're going to go all the way to Oregon?

Cass shrugs and looks back at her book.

Maybe I'll go to Vassar, she says.

Leo doesn't say anything. He closes his jar of pickles and stands up.

Ready to go? he asks me.

I follow him out to the hallway. Leo helps me put on my green coat and he zippers it up, but not all the way to my chin.

See ya, Leo says to Cass.

Bye, she says. I have to go grocery shopping and then I'll come pick you guys up around six.

Outside, our tree in the front yard looks skinny and cold. We walk fast. Leo's wearing a dark blue sweater and no jacket. He walks in front of me with his hands in his pockets. I can see my breath. It's like a tiny cloud in the air and then it disappears. When I breathe out all the hot air from inside of me then I make a bigger cloud that lasts longer.

Are you going to go to college like Cass? I ask Leo.

Yeah, he says.

When are you going to go? I ask.

Leo turns around and looks at me and then faces forward again.

A year and a half, he says, when I finish high school.

Oh, I say. I think about Cass gone and Leo gone, too.

Are you going to go to the same college as Cass? I ask.

No, he says. He starts walking faster now.

I let him get way ahead of me so I have to run to catch up. I keep letting him get ahead and then I run to where he is. Leo turns around.

What're you doing? he asks.

I don't say anything. This time when I catch up, I hold on to the back of his sweater. He lets me hold on the rest of the way to the library.

Inside is really warm. Leo takes off his sweater and then unzips my jacket for me. I follow him to the long table by the window. Leo sits down with his backpack on his lap and after he takes everything out, he reaches up tall and stretches.

I'm going to the kids' room, I tell him.

I find the book that Leo picked for me last time we came. The library has too many books to choose from, so Leo had to pick for me. It's a book called
Mr. Bones
, about a skeleton who's like a normal real person. He walks around his regular house and you can see how all his bones move and work.

I look at Mr. Bones's face and remember how I used to sit in the dark with Mother when her head was hurting. We sat on my bed with the lights off and the shades pulled down.

If I looked at her face for a long time, I could see her bones underneath.

At the end of the book, there's a picture of Mr. Bones standing up tall with his arms hanging down at his sides. His hands are turned out so his palms face forward. All of Mr. Bones's bones are labeled.

On the phone, Ms. Lambert says, Sebby, I would really like it if you came back to school.

I don't know what to say. I look at Cass and hold out the phone for her to take.

You talk, I tell her.

Cass shakes her head no. You, she says.

I put the phone back up to my ear. I can hear Ms. Lambert humming. Her voice sounds pretty.

Talk, Cass tells me.

Ms. Lambert, I say into the phone.

Yes, she says.

What day should I come back? I ask.

Well, says Ms. Lambert, how about if you come next Wednesday? That will give you some time to get ready, she says, and we'll see how the day goes.

Four days, I say.

Right, Ms. Lambert says, Wednesday's in four days.

Where are you? I ask her.

She laughs.

I'm at home, she says.

I don't know where Ms. Lambert's home is or what it looks like.

I'll see you on Wednesday, Ms. Lambert says.

Yes, I tell her.

Good-bye, she says.

Good-bye, I say. I wait for the sound of her hanging up and then I hold out the phone for Cass to take.

The social worker, Mrs. Alden, shakes our hands. Cass's first, then Leo's, then mine. She holds my hand the longest. Mrs. Alden has small, close-together gray eyes and a big, round circle face. I smile at her. Cass told me to keep smiling.

We take her into the family room to sit on the couch. Cass pulls me next to her and Mrs. Alden sits on the other side of me. She smells spicy like gingerbread. Leo's standing up with his hands in his pockets.

Can I get you something to drink, he asks, tea or coffee?

Mrs. Alden says, A glass of water, please.

Cass tells Mrs. Alden that Dad's doing well in the hospital. We're going to see him tomorrow, she says, and Sebby's going back to school on Wednesday. I can give you the school's number, says Cass, if you want to call his teacher—her name is Ms. Lambert.

Leo comes back then with a glass of water and the plateful of peanut butter cookies. He sets them down on the table in front of Mrs. Alden.

Thank you, she says to Leo. I understand you're doing very well in school.

Yes, he says.

And you have some good friends there, I hope? Mrs. Alden asks him.

Leo nods. Some, he says.

Do your friends come over often? she asks.

Not really, says Leo, I get busy with work, you know, lots of homework.

Mrs. Alden take a sip of water. Her lipstick sticks to the glass and makes a pink smile. She turns to me.

Do you want to go back to school, Sebastian? she asks.

I know what to say. Yes, I tell her, I like my teacher.

I watch how Mrs. Alden's hand reaches forward and breaks off a piece of peanut butter cookie. She has small, pink hands with clean fingernails. I like how her hands look.

Cass pats my back two times.

Do you want to see my room? I ask Mrs. Alden.

Sure, she says and smiles at me without showing her teeth.

Mrs. Alden holds on to the railing and goes slow up the stairs. I wait for her at the top. In my room, I show her my toys. The wooden cars and the wooden blocks for building things and my card games.

Mrs. Alden asks me if I like to read books.

I show her the book
What Do People Do All Day?
She sits down with me on the bed and I turn the pages so she can see the pictures.

Do you have a favorite page? she asks.

I shake my head, no.

I used to look at all the pictures every night before I went to bed, I tell her.

Mrs. Alden nods. I like to read at night, too, she says, it helps me sleep.

Her spicy gingerbread smell is getting all over my room, but that's okay. It's a good smell. I look at the loose skin under her chin and I think it would feel soft and nice to touch.

At the library, I read the Mr. Bones book, I say.

Oh, says Mrs. Alden, I don't know that one—is it good?

Yes, I tell her, Mr. Bones stands like this.

I get up to show her how Mr. Bones stands with his arms by his sides and his palms facing out.

He has lines pointing all over him that say the names of his bones, I tell her. I look at my watch. It says 2:46
PM
.

I tell Mrs. Alden, it's two-forty-six.

Do you want to go back downstairs? she asks.

Yes, I say. I follow her out of my room and walk behind her down the steps. We go really slowly.

Cass and Leo are waiting for me there at the bottom.

I want to take the cat with us to visit Dad, but Cass says no. She says the hospital won't let us.

Besides that, she says, Cham hates the car.

I sit in the middle of the backseat. I'm holding the plate of cookies wrapped in tinfoil on my lap. I put my hand on the warm tinfoil.

In the car, we don't talk very much.

Well, Cass says and then she doesn't say anything else. She puts on the news radio and turns down the volume so you can't really hear the voices talking.

I bet we could've brought the cat in a bag and snuck him in, says Leo.

Yes, I say.

Shit, Cass says to Leo, you don't know how loud that cat can be.

At the hospital, Cass drives around the parking lot twice and then parks in the last row, away from all the other cars. We just sit for a minute. Leo gets out first and then I get out. I'm holding the plate of cookies. The tinfoil is shining bright in my eyes.