Up by Five (30 page)

“Ryan thinks I’m going to mess it up too.”

She nodded.

Of course they’d talked about it. There had been a time when the thought of his friends having sex with his sisters was the thing that felt weirdest. That still felt weird. But the idea that his friends and sisters were sitting around talking about him felt a little weirder.

“How do I keep from messing it up?” Because two things were becoming very clear—he wanted Gabby and he didn’t know as much about women as he’d thought.

“Just be there. Stop thinking you have to
do
things and fix things and have all the answers and be fully and completely in charge of her happiness,” Amanda said.

“Just be there?” he said. “I have no idea what that means.”

She nodded again. “I know. Because you’ve never done it. You do stuff and buy stuff and think up the perfect thing to say. Like with Iz and Shane—you helped him pick out the ring. With Emma and Nate—you went over there and had all this great advice. With Olivia and Cody you actually went and
proposed
to her for him.”

Conner stared at her. He had done all of those things. When he’d realized what was going on with all of them, he’d jumped in and gotten involved. But Amanda had left someone off of the list.

“I never did that with you, did I?” he asked, thinking about it. “I never did or said anything specific about you and Ryan.”

Her eyes were bright with tears again, but she forced a smile as she shook her head. “No, you didn’t.”

“I went to the cake tasting with you,” he said, but he knew it wasn’t enough.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “That was fun.”

Right. But it wasn’t enough.

“I’m happy about you and Ryan, Amanda,” he said. “Ryan is good for you. And vice versa.”

“I know.”

And it was clear she did. Even without Conner’s blessing. Which should tell him something right there.

“I’m sorry I’ve never said it before.”

“You can make it up to me.”

“Anything.”

“Give me away at my wedding.”

Emotions, numerous and sharp, hit him in the chest. And damned if
his
eyes didn’t tear up a little. But he shook his head. “No way.”

Her eyes went wide.
“What?”

“I’m not giving you away, Amanda. Not ever. But,” he said as she started to respond, “I will absolutely walk you down the aisle so you can make one of my best friends the luckiest guy in the world. Well, one of the luckiest, anyway.”

Amanda’s tears fell this time as she threw her arms around his neck. “I love you, Conner.”

He squeezed her, sniffing. “I love you too.”

She stepped back and smiled at him, wiping her cheeks. “And you love Gabby, right?”

“Yes.” But he was, in fact, fucking that up too. Evidenced by the fact that, the day after he’d told her he loved her, she was staying with someone else.

“Okay, then I’m going to tell you Ryan and Shane and Nate and Cody’s secret to keeping us happy.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Sometimes they do stuff, sometimes they buy us stuff, sometimes they give the perfect speech—usually with some practice—but a lot of the time they just hold our hands, hug us and tell us they love us, that they believe in us, that they’ll be there even when we’re bitchy and tired and feel like crap.”

He blew out a breath. “That’s really enough?”

“A lot of the time it is,” she said. “Most of the time it really is.”

“What about the rest of the time?”

She shrugged. “The rest of the time you’ll fix it or buy it or say the right thing.”

He gave a short laugh. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“Okay, in those rare instances when you can’t do it, you have a whole bunch of people who can. Sisters who can help her pick the right outfit, friends who can say the right thing, friends that can do favors or call in favors or…” Amanda trailed off.

Conner frowned. That was…nice. It was a strange way to put it, but it was nice. “So I need to tell her that even though medical school will be demanding, I want to be there.”

“Yes. Medical school. Too.”

“Too?”

“There’s something I’m not supposed to tell you, but Ryan and I think you need to know.”

He could tell he wasn’t going to like this.

Twenty minutes later, it turned out he was right.

Conner was dressed and ready to go in record time.

“You’re going
to
the game?” Amanda asked, coming off the couch.

“If that’s where Gabby is, then yeah, I’m going.”

“It’s a private game, isn’t it? You need an invitation.”

Conner held out his phone.

Amanda read out loud, “Hot dam, @HawksQB is playin too #pokerparty.” She looked up at him. “Who is this?”

“Ricky Donovan.”

“And you’re at Hawks QB?”

He grinned. “Of course.”

“He spelled
damn
wrong.”

“I don’t care.” Conner grabbed his keys.

“You just tweeted Ricky Donovan?”

“Yep.”

“How did you know he’d invite you?”

“He’s one of my biggest fans. He tweets to and about me all the time.”

Amanda looked amazed. “You tweet? All the time?”

“The Hawks PR department likes us to be active on social media. I leave Facebook to Shane and Nate—though we all know Michael does most of it—but I can tweet.”

Amanda shook her head. “Wow.” She pulled out her phone and started swiping her finger over the screen.

“What are you doing?”

“Following you on Twitter.”

He sighed and started for the door. “You coming?”

“I can come?”

“You’re my guest.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” She tucked her phone away and ran to catch up with him.

“Call Ryan first. I’ll call Shane.”

“What are we calling them for?”

He stopped and smiled, feeling purpose and pleasure flow through him. And maybe a touch of deviousness. “I’m about to show Gabrielle Evans doting like she’s never imagined.”

“Ooh, doting,” Amanda said. “Can’t wait.”

As he pulled the door shut behind them, she said, “Oh, by the way, there’s something about Mac Gordon you should know too.”

“Act like you’re crazy about me.”

“Instead of like I’m going to puke from nerves?” Gabby forced a smile.

Mac grinned back. “Since I’m trying to look lovey-dovey here, yes. Looking like you are going to puke is hard on my ego.”

Her smile was more genuine now. “You’re just hoping I don’t actually puke with how close you’re standing.”

She was leaning against the wall in the foyer of Ricky Donovan’s huge house, Mac next to her, his hand braced on the wall near her ear. They stood close enough that anyone looking would assume they were a couple, exactly as planned. So far it had worked. They’d shown up together, Mac’s hand resting possessively on the back of her neck, his bright smile the smile of a man in love and when she’d introduced him to Ricky as her boyfriend, Ricky had told him he was a lucky man.

But he’d given Gabby a wink behind Mac’s back.

“You need to calm down,” Mac said, taking her hand and squeezing. “You’re here to play poker. It’s just a game. Just do it, get it over with.”

“The total winnings tonight will be sixty thousand dollars. It’s kind of a big deal.”

“Yeah, okay. The money is a big deal. But you’re thinking about it way too hard.”

“I—” She started to protest but then she frowned. “How do you know that?”

He chuckled. “I’ve known you for a while now, Gabby. You’re a gut-instinct girl. You don’t overthink—which is a wonderful trait, by the way—you just
do
. Whatever needs done. You think on your feet, you face stuff head on, you react and adjust. That’s all you have to do tonight.”

She nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m feeling the pressure with the game, the money, my brother, all of you guys helping me, Conner not…” She trailed off and literally bit her tongue. That wasn’t fair—Conner wasn’t here because she hadn’t told him about it and because she’d sworn everyone else to secrecy.

He would be here if she’d asked.

Conner Dixon would show up when someone needed him, but once he figured out that she was going to complicate things in his life, she wasn’t so sure he’d keep showing up.

Apparently something changed in her expression because Mac moved in front of her, blocking her from the other people enjoying cocktails and conversation in the foyer before the start of the game.

“Conner not being here?” Mac asked.

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“He doesn’t know about the game.”

She shook her head again.

“But there’s some reason that you think he wouldn’t be here if he did?”

She felt her throat tighten.

He noticed that too.

“Whoa.” Mac glanced around and lifted his hand to her head, drawing it down over her hair, a lover’s touch. “Take it easy.”

She took in the people milling in the foyer, glancing in their direction. She ran her hand up over his chest, trying to sell the crazy-about-him vibe. “Conner would be here. But he wouldn’t want to be. I could drag him into this because…he thinks he’s in love with me.”

Mac’s eyes got wide. “Okay, first, Conner’s in
love
?”

She shrugged. “He thinks so.”

Mac’s expression softened. “Gabby, you’re not the kind of girl that a guy just thinks he’s in love with. When a guy meets a girl like you, he either fights it because he knows he’ll never be good enough, or he jumps in with both feet and revels in it.”

She looked at him thoughtfully. “Which were you with Sara?”

“The first. Absolutely.”

She would have never guessed that, based on the times she’d seen Sara and Mac together. “But then you jumped in.”

He laughed. “She dragged me in.”

“You didn’t want in? You didn’t want to be in love?”

“Nope. I was sure I’d mess it up.”

“But you’re glad to be there now?” She knew he was. A person couldn’t spend five minutes around Mac and Sara and not know that he was truly and fully in love.

“I’m reveling now,” he said with a nod.

She sighed.

“Well, I know Conner’s not fighting it,” Mac said. “I was there for his scene with the poker-chip cookies and everything the other day.”

“Right. Um, no. Conner’s not fighting it.”

He looked at her as if waiting for her to go on. “You’re the one fighting it?”

She nodded. “I guess so. Kind of. It’s just that relationships can screw up otherwise perfectly laid plans.”

A prime example was her standing in Donovan’s foyer pretending to be in love with Mac while waiting to play poker to bail her brother out.

But she wasn’t sure she wanted to fight it anymore.

She always put the people in her life first, did what she needed to do to make them happy, no matter what the sacrifice would cost her. Even medical school. She knew it could happen again. She knew that the chances of keeping her life uncomplicated for the next six years were a billion to one.

Conner should get all of that. He was the same way.

He’d be here for her if she’d asked him. He’d be there for her in the future if she told him she needed him. But it would mess up his plans—his plans to enjoy life and be worry-free for a change.

Mac laughed at that. “Well, that’s for sure. Then again, not all carefully laid plans are good ones.”

But how could medical school not be a good plan? How could Conner having his own normal, quiet life without the drama and chaos of worrying about and cleaning up after a bunch of other people not be a good plan?

“Well, it doesn’t matter,” she said. “He’s not
really
in love. He thinks he is because I don’t need him. I can take care of myself. I’ll let him romance me, he can do things to make me happy or cheer me up, but he doesn’t have to actually fix anything for me. I don’t have demons, I don’t have major baggage. He loves me because I’m okay, I’m well-adjusted, he can’t screw me up. And I’m rational and calm and intelligent. I know men. I know he’s going to say stupid things sometimes or forget to do things sometimes, but I won’t freak out. I don’t freak out.”

“You don’t freak out at all? Ever?” Mac asked dryly.

Okay, so her voice had risen a little and she’d talked really fast there. Some might even call it a rant. But she did
not
freak out.

“That is right,” she said adamantly. “I don’t go crazy, so he can be with me and relax and be himself and not worry about me dropping out of college and developing a drinking problem.”

“Are you absolutely
sure
that you don’t go crazy about things?” Mac asked.

“No. I mean
yes
. I’m talking about this girl, Ashley, who he…” She stopped and took a deep breath. “Never mind.”

Mac nodded. “Sounds good.” He leaned back a little, but took her hand, in case anyone was paying attention. “I think you need to call Conner. Tell him where you are. Ask him to come. He’d want to be here, Gabby. He’s in love with you. He will want to help.”

She shook her head, feeling tears clogging her throat. “That’s just it. He’s in love with me in part because I
don’t
need him. I can take care of myself, and my family, on my own. He can trust me to be okay.
That’s
a huge part of his attraction here. I’m different from the other girls.”

Mac leaned back. He blew out a frustrated breath and ran a hand over his head. “Fine. Okay. But let me say one more thing. Life happens and the more people in your life, the more things happen. No matter what other plans you have. But without all those people in your life…you’ll be without all those people in your life. You know?”

She nodded. She wouldn’t trade any of her family members for peace and quiet. Most days. Probably. “I’ll be there for my family. But I don’t know if I can take more people on who might need me.”

“Well, the thing is about people who need you…sometimes you need them too.” He pointed to something over her shoulder.

She turned to see Nate and Emma talking to Ricky and one of his friends. Emma caught her eye and gave her a wink. A few feet behind them, Michael and Shannon were sampling the hors d’oeuvres. Michael toasted her with a shrimp puff. Dooley and Morgan Miller were playing blackjack at the could-be-in-Vegas table set up across the room.