Up All Night Long: From Lust to Love (Romance Anthology) (36 page)

Chapter 16

"You look like your mother died." Pinkie lifted his hand in the air as I walked into Billy's and took a seat next to the guys. Jake was at the bar getting beers from what I could tell.

"She might have. I'm an orphan, remember?" I winked and Pinkie flinched.

"Fuck, dude. Harsh."

I shrugged and fingered the peanuts on the table in front of me, waiting for my brother to come over. I had avoided having a real conversation with him most of the week simply because if I opened the floodgates, a ton of shit was going to roll out.

The money wasn't nearly enough to hold me to the emotionally fucked-up job I'd taken, but the need to push through and get to the girl... that's what was going to keep me there. She had retreated completely inside of herself. When she wasn't moping, she was walking around the house with the skimpiest shit I had ever seen.

Poor Pauly. I almost ran passed him when he showed up at the beach house. I couldn't handle another minute of it. I was like a tight rope that had been stretched past the point of snapping. One subtle movement from her and I was going to let loose.

"Beers for my guys." Jake smiled back at me and started to pass out the beers.

The band in the corner started up and my brother handed me the last cold one before nodding to the porch. "Let's go catch up?"

"Sure. Why the fuck not." I got up and drained the beer before getting outside. I turned and lifted it to the cute waitress who walked by us. "I need three more of these."

"Anything for you, Ian." She winked and walked back in as I eyed the nice way her shorts fit her. She was pretty, but no Chloe.

"What's going on, brother? You look like hell." Jake reached over and rubbed my back as I pressed my arms to the railing in front of me.

"I'm just trying to push through, Jake. Hoping to hang on to the end of the summer, or at least through this month. Just having one paycheck from the old man would set me up for a little while."

"That bad?"

"Worse. It's so much worse than I thought possible." I pressed my head into my hands and let out a long groan.

"I never would have imagined that Mitch had a crazy kid."

"Dude," I glanced at him, "she's not a kid and she's not crazy."

He stiffened, lifting his free hand in a show of surrender. "Whoa there big guy. I thought that was the issue. Inform me what's up, seeing that I'm wrong."

"I signed a contract that said I wouldn't touch her, wouldn't offend her and wouldn't seduce her. I'm so close to finding the mother fucking thing and setting it to fire."

"Oh." Realization rushed over my brother's face. "You're attracted to her?"

"I'm in love with her." I closed my eyes and took a long breath, not wanting to see the disapproval on his face.

He laughed and I peeked at him through one eye. "Somehow I knew this was going to happen."

"What? Why the hell didn't you warn me? I don't need this shit in my life. I can't sleep or eat or shit without thinking about her. I'm honestly starting to feel like the tender flower we joke about." I tugged at my hair and dropped the act as Linda handed me the three beers. "Put them on Jake’s tab."

He rolled his eyes and turned back to me. "Does she feel the same?"

"I don't know. She wants me in her bed from what I can tell, but anything more than that... who knows?" I rolled my shoulders and worked another beer down into my belly before turning to watch the waves crash on the shore. "We haven't spoken in four days. She gave me the slip at the mall like I told you, and I confronted her, being a little rougher than I should have."

"Physically?"

I glanced at Jake as he visibly paled. "No, idiot. I would never touch a woman like that. I yelled at her and made her see the reality of what could happen. Death isn't anything to fuck with."

"Oh." Jake lifted his beer to his lips. "You're going to have to resolve this. Just tell her, Ian."

"What? Hell no. I would be fired and have her laugh me all the way to the door." I shook my head as my heart ached deep inside my chest. How did this move from wanting to bone the girl to thinking about raising kids with her? It had been a fucking week and she was bat-shit crazy, but I was too most days of the week.

"You don't have many options." Jake shrugged and turned toward the water.

"No shit, Sherlock," I growled and pulled out my phone as it buzzed in my pocket. An unknown number. I set it beside me, not wanting to bother with anyone's shit.

"How has she been over the last few days?"

"When she's not moping she has this fake-ass smile on her face, but that's usually when her friends are around. She wears a mask in front of them. She's too tired to do it in front of me anymore, or that's my guess."

The phone rang again and I jerked it up. "What?"

"Ian, it’s Pauly." My heart almost stopped.

"What's up? Is Chloe okay?" I turned and paced back toward the bar, my heart going from calm to pounding in seconds.

"I'm sure she is, but she isn't at the house. I told her to meet me there a few hours ago."

I let out a long sigh, wondering why the girl acted like a fucking child and then got pissed when we treated her like one. "I'll go find her."

"She's at the park in Coronado. I promise you'll find her there. Be gentle with her, please. She's hurting over something and wouldn't share with me this morning. It's the first time in twenty-one years that she clammed up around me. She's a precious girl, Ian. Remember that when you're dealing with her."

"I know. I'll be gentle, or as gentle as I can."

"Good. She lost her mother at twelve and Mitch has been completely absent in her life since then. She was beaten and raped her sophomore year in high school by some guy she was in love with. She honestly never fully recovered from it. Don't upset her." Pauly let out a long, shaky sigh and my heart dropped.

No wonder. I groaned at the remembrance of the look on her face when I was screaming about corpses in caskets on the beach. Of course she knew what it looked like. Her mother... no wonder she slapped me.

"Call me when you find her and remember what I told you, boy. Sometimes protecting someone's body isn't about keeping their outsides safe, but their insides."

It was an odd way to tell me to protect the girl's heart, but effective.

"All right. I'll be in touch." I dropped the phone in my pocket and picked up the two extra beers, handing one to Jake. "Break’s over. I'll call you later tonight."

"No dinner with me and Cindy?" Jake lifted his eyebrow as I backed up.

"Rain check?"

"Anytime, buddy. Go get the girl."

"Shut up. I'm just doing my job."

"Yeah... sell that shit to someone else." He turned and lifted the beer in the air. He was right though, I needed to come clean with her, no matter what it meant.

Driving over the bridge, I couldn't help but remember all the good times Jake and I'd had on the island. We were scoundrels and this place was our favorite playground of sorts. The military women were so hungry for attention that we'd just skip the bars on the mainland and come to the island. Those girls didn't ask questions and were willing to show us some wicked sick shit. I chuckled, my mood lightening a little.

The struggle was almost over. I was going to make sure of that. Today, something was going to change, I just had to be careful to let her be the instigator of it. She wanted something from me, and somehow through our interactions, I left her pissed and hurt. That's not at all who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do.

I pulled up to the park Pauly had mentioned and parked the bike, locking it to a tree and looking up to see her long blond hair flowing in the wind.

"Thank God," I muttered and walked toward her.

I stopped beside her and my heart broke again as she glanced up. Her makeup was smeared, her eyes puffy and red. All she could do was work to pull herself together. Her voice was harsh and broken when she barked at me.

"What? Come to collect the lost dog?" She turned back down and pushed the dirt away with her high heel. "Go away."

I sat down beside her, not quite sure what to say, but knowing without a doubt that going away wasn't ever going to happen, unless she forced me to.

Chapter 17

I looked like absolute hell. The pity on Ian's face told me that much. I grumbled something ugly at him and turned my attention back to the small seashells and pebbles below me. I didn't care what he thought. He showed up to take me home as Pauly probably told him to.

He was the jailer and I was his keep. Nothing more.

Well, he can fucking wait until I'm ready.

I leaned back and glanced out at the storm that started to roll in, the dark clouds moving faster than I had ever seen before. The mood was proper for the dark feelings rolling around inside of me.

"When I was younger, like ten or so, we had a storm so bad that I stayed up all night long. Jake had been put into another foster home and I was still at the orphanage, but without him, it just wasn't right, you know?"

The sound of his voice forced me to pay attention, his words stunning me.

"So I spent most of the night shakin' under my covers, but finally I realized that wherever Jake was... he was wishing he was with me, and if he wasn't... well, he was scared as hell too." Ian chuckled and picked up a stick, pushing a large shell toward me. "I'm sorry for being so overbearing. I think I wanted to be Jake for you, you know, someone that could protect you and help you heal past whatever is going on inside of you."

I nodded and continued to watch the storm. I didn't know what my part to play was in the moment, but I knew two things. I didn't want to break down in front of him, and I didn't want to throw myself at him again. I was done with his rejection.

"I'm so sorry about using the casket thing the other day, Chloe." He reached out and brushed his fingers over my shoulder.

I jerked from him, needing his touch way more than I was comfortable with.

"I didn't know about your mother or I would
never
have slung that at you. I'm not that guy. We just got off on the wrong foot."

"Yeah, we did." I glanced over at him. "Which was
my
fault."

"How is it just your fault?" He moved a little closer and I ignored it.

I wasn't willing to let even a false sense of hope rise in me. Just because he had been sent to come get me didn't mean he was doing it for any other reason than the fat paycheck he got. He saw me as a bitchy little girl, and maybe I was... maybe growing up was something I'd yet to do.

Turning to face him, I moved my gaze to lock onto his. I wanted him to know my full intentions, my desires and what I had wanted. It was in the past now, so I could easily talk about it.

"I saw you that night in the club and I would have sold my soul to have you take me home. Your dark persona, hard body and fuck the world attitude..." I closed my eyes and let out a soft moan at the memory of how bad my body had burned for his. "I don't remember wanting anyone more than I wanted you."

I opened my eyes as he swallowed, his own eyes a little wide.

"You wanted sex?"

"I wanted something. I just didn't know what until we had lunch earlier this week."

"The day you left me sitting there, worried like hell over you?"

I shrugged. "I get the concern. Your job is to be effective and I've been dicking that up for you. No one knows but you and I that things haven't gone as planned, but you knowing is enough. For that, I'm sorry."

"Oh, no you don't." He reached over and took my face in his hand, turning me to look at him. The strength in his touch almost caused me to melt. "Tell me why you figured out what you wanted from me at lunch. Tell me what you wanted."

"No." I pulled back softly, my adolescent attitude all but gone. I was simply weary and tired of running. Love belonged to everyone else, but for some reason, it avoided me.

My phone buzzed beside me and I picked it up, grateful for the break in the tension. It was Jeremy. It was always Jeremy.

"Who's Jer?" He leaned over and scanned the message.

I handed him the phone and reclined against the tree as the breeze picked up. It blew my dress up my thighs and I brushed it back down carelessly. I didn't want to tease him, it only seemed to backfire on me. I pushed him to look at me and the feeling of his eyes on me felt more like a big joke. Nothing would become of it.

"Old boyfriend who's more interested in my dad than in me."

"Really? That's fucked up." He handed the phone back. "Who's T-Swift?"

"Taylor Swift. The singer?" I glanced over at him and chuckled. "Have you been hiding under a rock?"

"I'm a grown man with tats and a hog. I don't listen to anything but metal and classics." He winked at me and I could see why he had no trouble getting attention. He was brutally sexy.

"True. Well, Jer is thirty-two and still acting like he's my age. I swear he only wanted to get into my bed so that he could slip from mine to my father's. It's weird."

Ian growled and I turned to see what had him on edge. He was glaring at me, his expression angry.

"Um... what?" I turned a little. "It's true."

"I don't like it. We need to put him on a watch list. He sounds like a twelve-year-old girl on those texts. That's creepy."

"Finally. Someone who agrees with me. He's totally creepy all of a sudden."

"Why did you sleep with him?"

I rolled my eyes. "I
dated
him because it gets lonely being hands off to everyone. He wanted to be hands on. It was nice."

"Let's talk about something else. This conversation makes me want to punch a fucking baby."

I laughed again, not sure why he was getting so riled up. "Fine. Let's talk about going back to the house. I'm sure Pauly will be there soon."

"I told him I was with you. He's going home."

"So your day off is ruined thanks to the bratty bitch you have to guard?" I glanced at him, my tone dipping into sarcasm.

"No. My day got a lot better once I found you. I had a moment of panic when Pauly called, but knowing you're okay... it's all good. I get why you keep running. I wouldn't be able to put up with this shit for a minute myself."

I nodded and sucked my bottom lip into my mouth. Small drops of rain had begun to coat my arms and exposed legs. "I guess we should get back. The rain storm is going to start soon."

"Yeah, but let me show you something pretty cool first." He stood and reached down, offering me his hand. I wanted to ignore it, but the opportunity to touch him wasn't something I could force myself to pass up.

So fucking pathetic.

"My father mentioned something earlier this week about an event tomorrow night. I'd like to go if you think that would be okay?" I started to pull my hand from his, but when he didn't release me, I let the thought go.

"Yeah. The one up in L.A.?"

"Yep. It's on campus. I was going to swing by the dorms to check in on things, unless you don't want to." We paused by the water as he glanced over at me. The world almost disappeared as I focused on the heat in his gaze. Was it directed at me?

"I'm good with doing whatever you want, just stay close to me at the event. Deal?" He winked and turned back to the water, kneeling down and releasing my hand.

I almost groaned at the loss of our connection. It wasn't likely to happen again any time soon. What a change in attitude and direction for us. He was actually talking to me and I wasn't being a hormonal idiot. If we could just stay in the moment.

"So when I was a kid, there was this large saltwater eel that would swim by here every evening." He leaned over and I couldn't help but move my eyes down his thick back to the curve of his ass.

Stop it. Don't ruin the friendship he's trying to create.

"Here. Chloe. Come here, baby. Look at this." He reached back and pulled me down. His pet name for me left me speechless as his excitement became my own. A large black snake-like fish moved through the water. I squealed and pulled from him as the heavens opened and the rain came down.

"Let's make a run for it." He stood and took my hand, running full sprint toward the car.

I started to follow, but my heel got caught and I tripped. He turned in time to catch me, a soft laugh on his lips as he pulled me up and hoisted me in his arms. "Hold on tight. Let's hope I don't bust my ass too."