Unyielding (Tortured Love Book 1) (16 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Lynda was worried about Merrick. She’d never seen him so jumpy and distracted. He was rushing through breakfast, and that wasn’t like him. Granted, he did usually work on Sundays, so maybe he was simply anxious to get to it? She finally asked him what was wrong, and his smile was too insincere for her to believe his words.

“I have a lot on my mind today.”

“You have a lot of work waiting, don’t you?”

“No, this morning I thought we’d spend some time together, just talking.”

Now she was even more confused. Why would he be so damn nervous about talking to her? Was this about his reaction last night? Was she finally going to discover what secrets he was hiding? She had purposely not mentioned it because too much had happened this week. She needed time to process everything, and to come to terms with the realization that she had fallen in love with her husband.

His phone rang, and he swore under his breath as he glanced at the caller ID, clearly upset with the interruption. “I have to take this.”

He walked out into the hallway, and Lynda rose from the table. She headed away from him, toward her suite, because she didn’t want to overhear the conversation. Her brain was already too filled with things to ponder. If it was important enough that she needed to know, he’d tell her.

Merrick caught up with her in the upstairs hallway, looking very pissed off and hurried. “I have to go into the office for a while. Something unexpected has come up.”

“That’s all right. You have a business to run. I have plenty of designs to work on.” She didn’t, but there was no point in saying that. Clearly he hadn’t planned on leaving the apartment this morning.

He kissed her, sending desire racing through her. “I’ll text you when I’m on the way back home.”

“All right. See you later.”

Lynda did some work after he left, then took a long shower. She wandered around the library, picking a few books off the shelves to read at a later time, but she wasn’t in the mood to read now. She was bored out of her mind and restless at the same time.

Merrick might be gone all day, or he might be home in an hour. There was no way to tell. But this was part of the way he lived, and she’d need to get used to it. He’d been single for a long time. He wasn’t used to having to account for his time, or planning any of that time to spend with a wife.

Lynda went back upstairs, put the books she’d selected on her desk, then wandered into Merrick’s office. She loved this room. It smelled like him, and had an aura that radiated the same power and industriousness that her husband’s aura did. He spent more time in here than in any room in this apartment.

Who knew what these walls would say if they could talk? Did they hold his secrets? Would they be able to explain the pain she’d glimpsed on his face whenever the subject of past hurts came up? Would they reveal what the fuck had happened to him last night, when she’d asked why he’d never married?

Lynda sat in his chair and swiveled it around a few times, taking in the room from his point of view. She’d sat across from him several times while he’d been in this chair, watching him work or discussing something with him. If he were sitting across from her now, what would she ask him?

For starters, she’d go back to last evening, at the fundraiser. Why would he have reacted that way to her question unless she wasn’t the first Mrs. Merrick Dalton? Lynda had been fighting against the obvious conclusion since last night. It was the reason she’d jumped all over him in the back of the car on the way home, and it was the reason she’d done so again after they’d arrived home. She hadn’t wanted to hear the truth.

Her phone chimed with an incoming text, making her jump. It was as if he’d caught her in here, sitting in his chair, and was angry. But the text merely said he was tied up and would be at least another hour. He would text when he was on the way home. He also said he’d make it up to her once he got there.

That made her smile, so she texted back in graphic detail what she wanted to do with him and to him that evening, and a moment later he responded with a very X-rated emoji, depicting a lewd sex act. She laughed out loud, reflecting how different their communication was now, compared to their wedding night.

But had that been his
first
wedding night? And if he had been married before, why hadn’t he told her? What was the big secret? And why had she never found it online? That was more disturbing than anything, especially in light of what she’d recently learned about her husband and the power he commanded. Had he covered it up on purpose?

Not unless he killed her, or had her killed.

Lynda hugged herself as a cold shiver ran down her spine. No. That couldn’t be it. She would
not
accept that. But now she
wanted
to know the truth. She
had
to. And she didn’t want to wait until he decided to tell her.

She briefly thought about looking through his laptop, but he probably would know she’d done so. There was no point in searching online again because she’d already done that, before they were married, and had found nothing about a previous wife.

Maybe there was something in this office that would give her a clue? Was it worth it to go snooping? He wouldn’t be home for an hour, and the office wasn’t that large. She’d just have a quick look around. It wouldn’t take long at all, and he’d never know she’d done it.

Guilt washed over her as she opened all his desk drawers and rummaged through the contents. When that produced nothing to give her an answer, she wandered over to the filing cabinets. He kept nothing locked, which surprised her. Then again, he probably trusted her and the staff enough not to go through his stuff.

There was nothing in any of them that suggested a secret marriage certificate, or a death certificate for that matter, was hidden away. Lynda returned to his chair, feeling agitated and off balance now. She should have let him talk last night. What if, by the time he got home, he had thought about it and decided not to tell her after all?

She could ask, but the image of seeing that
face
rose up in her mind. The expression that meant the subject was closed and there was no point in badgering him about it. She couldn’t handle that. Not now. Not after her mind had gone there and done that. She had to know the truth.

Lynda glanced around the room, looking for something she’d missed, but there was nothing. Not unless the apartment had secret walls and hidden passageways. The door to his bedroom was still open, so she rose and walked inside. She breathed in the scent, recalling the nights spent in here making love.

It would be a violation of those memories to go snooping around for clues to an ex-wife, but at least she’d know the truth. She wouldn’t spend every night in here wondering if the evidence was right under her nose, and she’d missed it, or been too afraid to go looking for it.

Lynda started with the nightstand and worked her way around the room. She glanced at her phone several times, making sure he hadn’t texted that he was on his way home, and she’d missed it. She still had forty minutes. Plenty of time.

When she’d gone through every drawer in the room and found nothing, she went into his massive closet. This room was large enough to hold a small dinner party, and it was filled with more drawers. Most of them held socks, underwear, and ties. But in the back, hidden behind a row of suit jackets, she finally struck pay dirt.

Lynda pulled out a wooden box like others she had found in his office. Those had contained documents, such as his birth certificate and social security card. Why was this one hidden? Her heart raced and her palms grew damp.

This was wrong. It was hidden for a reason. She should put it back and forget she’d ever seen it.

She had expected it to be locked, but it wasn’t. Inside, an old smell wafted up. Like the smell of death or documents that were meant to stay buried.

Lynda didn’t want to know what was in this box, but couldn’t stop now. It was like watching a bad auto accident. You knew you should look away, but the expectation of seeing bloody bodies all over the road made you keep watching.

Lynda placed it on the floor next to her, debating, while sweat rolled down her face. It wasn’t any warmer in here than the rest of the apartment. This was her body’s reaction to doing something underhanded. But she’d come this far. Why stop now? This damn box would haunt her every second she spent in his bedroom if she didn’t look inside it.

She opened it and took out the first thing on top, carefully unfolding the paper. It was a letter, addressed to Merrick, from the DA’s office. Dated eight years ago, it stated that the investigations into the deaths of William Shaumberg, Lenny Crawford, and Robert Royal had been concluded, and there was not enough forensic evidence from the bodies to lead them to their murderers. The cases were considered closed.

William Shaumberg … she knew that name. He had once owned Shaumberg Industries, but the company was now out of business and had been for quite some time. Lynda made a mental note to look him up later. She had no clue who Lenny Crawford or Robert Royal were. She should have brought along a pen and paper, then remembered the note feature on her phone. She typed in the three names, folded the letter again, and set it aside.

The next document in the box was a death certificate. Lynda let out a strangled sound, afraid to read it. Her hands were really damp now, as well as shaky. At first, her mind wouldn’t comprehend what she was reading. When the words finally made sense, she slumped against the wall. It wasn’t really a surprise, but she had been hoping all this time she was wrong. That she’d jumped to incorrect conclusions.

Theresa Marie Dalton, born Theresa Marie Delvecchio, had died of multiple gunshot wounds on August 11, 2006. Were the three men mentioned in the letter the ones who had killed her? Why else would Merrick have that letter in here? What had happened to those men? Were those the first men he’d had killed? Had he killed them himself?

She folded the death certificate and placed it face down on top of the letter. The marriage license was next. Merrick had married Theresa on May 3
rd
, 2003, in Fenwick, Connecticut. He had been born and raised on Long Island, so Connecticut must have been where Theresa was from. She might still have family there. Lynda added her maiden name and the town to her phone note.

The last item in the box was a photo.
Might as well take a look
. Why not? She’d come this far. It was a wedding photo, and reminded her of the photos she and Merrick now had, only because he was in it. Theresa had been beautiful, not that she was surprised. Dark hair, a slim body, and a brilliant smile on her wedding day.

Her dress was couture. Lynda wasn’t entirely sure of the designer, but it had obviously cost a fortune. Merrick hadn’t made his billions yet in 2003, so her family must have money. She’d never heard of the surname, but that didn’t mean anything. Not everyone flaunted their family name like her father and uncles had done. Some people actually cultivated privacy.

The box contained nothing else, but she’d seen enough, regardless. She had her answer, or at least she had more information to go on than she’d had before. Why hadn’t he told her? The conclusion her brain wanted to shout as the obvious one wasn’t something Lynda could wrap her mind around. She needed more information first before she would believe it.

Lynda carefully placed all the items back in the box, then stood to replace it where she’d found it. She almost dropped it as footsteps sounded behind her. She whimpered softly, the box still in her hands, and was about to close the drawer in which she’d found it, when his voice caused her to jump once more.

“What the
fuck
are you doing in here?”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Lynda swallowed hard as bile rose in her throat. She closed the drawer and turned around to face her husband. “I’m sorry.” Her pulse raced so quickly she was sure she’d pass out. It was too close and warm in this closet. She had to get out.

He stared at her with nothing short of fear in his eyes. She walked toward him, but he backed away. “Merrick, I’m sorry. I made a mistake.”

“A mistake?”

Lynda bit her lip. There was no defense for what she’d done.

“A
mistake
, Lynda? Why? Just tell me why.”

The pain in his voice ripped her apart. “Your reaction last night. That’s why. And several times the past couple of weeks when this horrible pain came over your face. I had to know the truth.”

She stopped short of asking why he’d never told her. She would not turn this around and make it his fault. It wasn’t. She was the one who had gone snooping, not him.

He ran a hand over his face and slumped down to the floor. “I’m not upset. I should have told you. I wanted to last night, but then you wanted sex.”

She sat down again, but not next to him. “No. I shouldn’t have done this. I’m so sorry. It was wrong. I knew it was wrong, but I kept going anyway.”

“I meant to tell you. I came home as soon as I could, and didn’t text you first because I have a surprise for you. I have some news you’ll be happy to hear.”

What?
Why wasn’t he wasn’t upset with her? “Merrick, you just caught me snooping into something very private, and that you obviously wanted to keep hidden. Are you really not going to say something about that?”

He shook his head and gave her a desperate look. “No. Okay.
Yes
. I mean, you’re right. You shouldn’t have come snooping. But like I said, I should have told you. I owe you the entire explanation.”

She moved closer, wanting to touch him, but knowing it wasn’t the right time. Not quite yet.

He crossed his legs, like he was getting comfortable for a very long story. “I met Theresa when we were in grad school together. Her family is very rich, but also very private. You’ve likely never heard of their surname.”

She shook her head.

“They hated me. I had no pedigree, no money, and was all wrong for the kind of life they’d envisioned for their only child.”

His voice was so flat and dull. She’d never heard that tone in it, and it made her want to cry.

“Did you know that about me? That I didn’t come from money?”

“Yes. I knew. It doesn’t matter to me where or who you came from.”

He snorted. “I know. Thank you. But it mattered to
them
, Lynda. Theresa and I dated off and on for four years before I proposed. By then, I had my business up and running, but her family still opposed the wedding. I married for love, not business reasons. I’m not telling you this to hurt you. You need to know it so you can understand why I did what I did.”

She scooted a bit closer and tried to keep a neutral expression on her face.

“Did your father ever talk about William Shaumberg?”

“I may have heard the name from him. I know I’ve heard it before.”

“He ran a dynasty back then. No one could stop him, and everything he did was underhanded and shady. Her family warned me to stay away from him and his business dealings, but I didn’t listen.”

Lynda shook her head slowly. She didn’t like where this was going.

“He and I went after the same company—the first one I took over. It didn’t sit well with him that I bought it out from under his nose, and I didn’t realize how right Theresa’s family had been about him. William Shaumberg was a ruthless, vindictive man. We had words over my purchase, publicly and privately. When I told him to go fuck himself, William decided to make it personal.”

Lynda put a hand over her mouth as tears filled her eyes.

“I didn’t know Lenny or Robert from Adam. They shot Theresa in broad daylight, right there on the sidewalk, as she came out of her regular salon on the upper west side. And no one claimed to have seen a fucking thing.”

She wanted to ask, then, how he’d found out it was those two who had shot his wife, but couldn’t. Her heart was breaking for him.

“Her family never forgave me. It might as well have been me who’d pulled the trigger. After William and the two men who had killed Theresa disappeared, they were convinced I’d done the deed myself. That I had killed those men.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Let me back up a bit. I had friends in high places by then, and William had a big mouth. He liked to brag. Because of those two things, I found out who had killed her, and I found out William was behind the hit. I had them taken care of. All three of them.”

She moved a bit closer to him. He’d already told her that he’d had people killed once before. Now she knew who.

“Theresa’s family told me if I tried to get any of her money, they’d have me prosecuted for murdering William, Lenny, and Robert. They always believed I had something to do with it. Don’t misunderstand me. They wanted their daughter’s death avenged, but not in that way.”

Lynda knew this was tearing him apart to tell her, but she also understood he had to get it all out.

“I had signed a pre-nup and told them I wouldn’t fight it. I didn’t want her money. Nothing would bring her back, and certainly her family’s wealth wouldn’t.”

He looked directly into her eyes. “That was the first and only other time I had someone killed. The second time was when I took care of your uncles for you.”

“Merrick…” Her voice came out in a harsh whisper.

“I won’t apologize for that. I would do it again if necessary. You need to know that, Lynda.”

She nodded. She didn’t care that he’d done that. He was who he was. If that made her a bad person, so be it.

“Her family managed to keep the drama out of the papers. They’re very private, and didn’t want their grief to become front page news. As for my involvement, I already had friends within the police department in all five boroughs, in the FBI, and in the DA’s office. We took care of each other then, and we still do.”

She’d been right about him speaking with someone in the FBI that day.

“The bodies were dumped in the East River and weren’t found for six months. By that time, there wasn’t much they could do in terms of discovering who had killed them. They’d been shot, but that was all they knew.”

She swallowed hard.

“I didn’t shoot them myself, but I would have gladly done so. I paid someone else to do it. And I didn’t shoot your uncles, either, but I did pay to have them killed. This time, however, the bodies might not be found. I don’t want to put you through that.”

She watched him, waiting.

“That’s it, Lynda. The whole sordid story.”

“Merrick, I’m so sorry I—”

“I don’t want an apology from you. It was only a matter of time before you found out. It’s not right that you shared your past with me but I kept mine from you.”

“I’m not upset that you did. I can’t imagine how you deal with the memories.”

“I don’t deal with them.” He pointed toward the row of drawers behind her. “I keep them in there, tucked away behind suit jackets I haven’t worn in years.”

Lynda had dealt with grief enough to know that while he might think that was a healthy response, he clearly hadn’t done all he could. “Do you still keep in touch with her family?”

“No. They want nothing to do with me, and I won’t invade their privacy. They believe I killed Theresa because I wouldn’t back down from taking that company.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it? She’d still be alive if I’d steered clear of Shaumberg.”

“And he’d still be killing people when he didn’t get his way. You might have crossed paths with him again, and the same thing might have happened.”

“I never looked at it that way before. I may have to give that some thought.”

The idea that her husband would spend the rest of his life blaming himself for his first wife’s death was too horrible to deal with. Lynda would need to give this some thought of her own, at a later date. “Is that the only photo you have of her? The wedding picture?”

“Yes. The rest are gone.” He gave her a look filled with doubt. “Are you upset that I’ve kept these things in here, now that you’re my wife?”

“No. Not at all.” Lynda only wanted to help him heal from this, if that was possible. “When was the last time you visited her grave?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “I don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t do it.”

“Is it in Connecticut?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not so far away. You should go.”

He stared at her for a long time, and Lynda couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Finally, he answered in a low voice. “I’ll think about it.” They sat quietly for a few moments, and then he finally spoke again. “Would you like to hear your surprise now?”

She’d forgotten about it. “Sure. Do you want go somewhere else to tell me?”

He glanced around. “Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”

****

Merrick couldn’t even process the relief he felt, knowing it was finally out in the open. He wasn’t angry that she’d gone snooping. He’d have done the same thing in her place. She was his wife, and he had nothing left to hide from her. If she’d asked him to take the photo, the marriage license, the death certificate, and the letter out of the apartment, he’d have done so. He still might do that. Put them in a safe deposit box, perhaps.

They went out onto the terrace from his office and sat down. Merrick pushed his chair closer to hers so he could take her hands. “I had Rey’s laptop and external hard drive stolen from his mother’s house.”

She stared at him, blinking, her mouth slightly open. Merrick told her what Alan had found on Rey, and then he outlined what he had discovered on the hard drive days ago, right here in the apartment. She looked at him like she couldn’t process his words. When he told her about the underage girls, he thought she was going to puke again.

“Are you okay? Do you need a ginger ale?”

“No. No.” She put a hand across her abdomen. “It’s gone now.”

“He’s been arrested, Lynda.”

“Excuse me?”

Merrick grinned. “I told you I have friends in the FBI. Rey’s laptop and hard drive are in their hands now, and Rey is in custody.”

She blinked a few more times. “Wait … you had them
here
?”

“Yes. But now they’re gone, and so is he. He won’t be filming any more women or underage teens having sex, with or without their knowledge or permission.”

“Merrick, I … holy shit. I can’t believe you did this. Well, actually, let me rephrase. I
can
believe it. But what about his mother? It sounds like she was dependent on him.”

Merrick told her about hiring the home health care agency, and Lynda looked at him like he’d hung the moon. “You did all this for me?”

“Of course.” The words were right there, but he couldn’t say them. It was too soon. The wounds of having Theresa’s death reopened were still too raw. “I told you I care about you. What hurts you, hurts me.”

“Oh. So that’s why you did it. To keep this quiet. So it wouldn’t hit the media.”

“Yes and no. You were hurt by these men. First by your uncles and then by Rey. You never will be again, and neither will anyone else.”

The corners of her mouth turned up. “Merrick, I can’t figure out how you feel about me. One minute I think you’ve done all this to avenge what Rey did to me, and the next I’m thinking you only did it to protect those videos from ever being released to the press.”

“Then don’t try to figure it out. Take me at face value, and believe me when I tell you I care for you, and that I did all this for you because of that reason.”

Disappointment flooded her eyes, but this was the most he could give her right now. The fact that he had fallen in love with her was something he needed time to process before he told her.
If
he ever told her.

“You did tell me you don’t do the hearts and flowers thing.”

“That’s right. I don’t. But I do take care of things for people I care about.”

She rose and climbed into his lap. “Then that’s good enough for me.”

Merrick pulled her close and inhaled her scent. This amazing woman had crawled so far under his skin that most days, even he couldn’t believe he’d let this happen. The odd thing was he didn’t regret it. He wasn’t wishing it hadn’t happened, and he wasn’t wondering how to back off. He didn’t want to. He liked feeling this close to someone again, and he wanted to stay here.

It felt wonderful to care this much about a woman again, and to know she loved him back. Because although she hadn’t said the words either, but he saw that love in her eyes. He felt it in her touch, and he sensed it in her every gesture.

Merrick could live here for a while, in this space between knowing they loved each other, but not having said the words yet. He needed to keep that emotion safe and secret for a bit longer, while he let it roll around in his mind and take root. And then, maybe one day, they’d be able to tell each other.