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The big game was finally here – game seven of the World Series. I made sure to clear my schedule that night so I could watch my happily-ever-after play out.

“You are so absurd,” Cass called out from the bathroom, where she was prepping for a date with lord-only-knows-who.

“I know … You have mentioned that like two hundred times in the past three weeks. But, thanks for clarifying once again,” I shouted back.

“I just don’t get it, Brookie. If he loves you like he says he does then he shouldn’t need some stupid baseball game to determine your future.”

“He’s going to propose anyways. I know he will. By Christmas, I’ll have a huge rock on my finger. He just wants me to cheer with him for his team. It’s kind of cute, really, when you think about it.”

“Yeah, OK. Whatever makes you sleep better at night,” Cass quipped, while adding in her signature eye roll.

After Cassidy left for her date, I relaxed on my bed with a huge bowl of microwave popcorn to watch game seven of the World Series. I anxiously sat on the edge of my bed, unable to eat much of the popcorn. The game was a true pitchers’ duel. Neither team scored a run until the sixth inning when Arizona scored first. When that runner came across home plate, I felt my heart sink. The Yankees, however, came back to score two runs during the next two innings to lead the game, 2-1.

As I watched the eighth inning, I envisioned Jay’s face as I walked down the church aisle toward him on our wedding day. His smile brought out his perfect dimples and there was even a tear rolling down his cheek. I was wearing a white, satin gown with a sweetheart neckline, embellished with tiny crystals. My dad was at my side wearing a perfectly tailored, black penguin suit, as I liked to call tuxedos. My mom was sitting in the front pew, blotting her damp eyes with tissues.

The Yankees maintained the lead going into the ninth inning with their amazing closing pitcher coming out to the mound for the second consecutive inning. This was it … I was going to get my engagement ring, my husband and my happily-ever-after.

Waiting for the closer to toss some warm-up pitches, I envisioned welcoming our first child into this world – a girl. She would have her father’s eyes and my little, upturned nose.

Well, that perfect closing pitcher … turns out that he wasn’t so perfect, after all. He ended up blowing the game and the Yankees lost to the Arizona Diamondbacks, 3-2. I broke down in tears, spilling the uneaten popcorn all over my bed and Jay never called that night. All of my hopes and fantasies slowly began to fade away that night.

I figured Jay was just upset about the game. He had been so excited about our upcoming proposal. I was convinced that he would go ahead with it anyways. After all, he just wanted me to watch and love the Yankees, too, right? Mission accomplished. I knew he would call me the next day, and with Christmas just around the corner I could anticipate a sparkly diamond on my finger. Just as I had already explained to Cassidy – why was I suddenly not so sure?

A few days went by after the Yankees’ loss and I still hadn’t heard from Jay. I mean I could understand how he may have initially been upset, but this was ridiculous. It was just a game, after all, and if he still wanted to marry me then all he had to do was ask. I still watched and tried to enjoy the baseball games. He still had me interested in his team, and if it was that important to him in the future, I would learn to love the Yankees. After all, if I loved him, I should embrace his hobbies and other interests, I reasoned to myself.

It was a Thursday afternoon and I was finished with my classes for the day. Having no sorority obligations that night, Cassidy and I had made plans to meet in the library at eight o’clock for a study session. Checking my watch, I realized I had about two hours to spare. It was time to call Jay and see where his head was at.

I waited through three rings before I heard Mark’s voice on the other end. Mark had been Jay’s best friend since high school. They were both on the baseball team and earned scholarships to play at Michigan Tech. After being accepted, they decided it only made sense to rent an apartment together near campus.

“Hello,” Mark answered.

“Hey Marky, long time, no talk. I feel like the only time I hear your voice anymore is on that silly, answering-machine message.”

It was something along the lines of “You’ve reached Jason and Mark. We’re not around right now … Hopefully, we’re out scoring some home runs, if you know what I mean. Anyways, you know what to do after the beep.”

“Brookie! How’ve you been, baby girl?” he asked.

“Oh, pretty good. I keep quite busy down here between school, sorority activities and the student paper.”

“Yeah, Jay filled me in on all your stuff. Hey, any cute sorority sisters you could hook an old friend up with?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his request. “Um, not that I can think of, Marky. But, I’ll keep you in mind, OK?”

We both knew I wouldn’t actually give it a second thought, but he agreed anyways, probably in the hopes that I was telling him the truth.

“Is Jay around?” There was a long pause and some chatter in the background … “Marky, you there?” I asked a bit confused.

“Uh, yeah, Brooke. Sorry, Jay’s not here right now. I think he said he was going to go lift weights before dinner,” he replied.

“Then why did I just hear him talking to you? And, is that a girl I hear whispering in the background? What the fuck is going on? I know he’s there. … Hand him the damn phone.”

I could feel myself begin to shake as I was yelling at Mark. It wasn’t his fault that Jay was being an ass, but he was covering for him. Fuck the “bro code.” I’m supposed to be his friend, too, and Jason was being a jackass.

“Calm down, Brooke. Here’s Jay.” Before I had the chance to tell Mark goodbye, Jay grabbed the phone.

“Hey, Brooke, what’s up?”

“Seriously, you haven’t talked to me … your girlfriend, might I add, for four fucking days and I get a ‘hey, what’s up?’ I’ll tell you what’s up, Jason: one, what the fuck is your problem and two, who the hell is your lady friend, whispering in the background?”

“Calm down, Brooke. I don’t have a problem. I’ve just been busy the last few days, that’s all. I was pretty upset after the Yanks lost and I had to hash over a few things.”

“Hash over what, exactly? And, you still didn’t answer my second question.” I barked back.

“Uh, um, that’s just a friend of Mark’s,” Jay said with hesitation.

“Yeah, OK, whatever, what did you need to think about? Does it involve us?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah, um, Brooke … I think we need to take a break. And, before you go all crazy, or start crying on me, just hear me out, OK?”

I was silent for a minute … waiting for the tears to brim around my eyes, but they never came – not right away, anyways. “Sure, talk.”

“Well, for a few months I’ve been wondering where our relationship was headed. I mean, after all this time, we should be talking marriage, right? I just wasn’t sure that’s what I wanted … or, maybe, what you wanted. We never really talked about it, until I came up with the World Series plan. I figured if the Yankees won the Series, then it was meant to be. You were meant to be my wife. But, they lost, Brooke. Don’t you think that is fate’s way of stepping in and telling us not to get married?”

“I’m sorry, are you fucking kidding me? Are you breaking up with me because of some lame-ass fate, excuse? Why can’t you just use your brain for once, Jason? Do you love me? I mean you’ve told me you love me for the last five years. Has it all been a lie?” I questioned accusingly.

“No, it wasn’t a lie, Brooke. I did love you … maybe I still do. I just need a break. I don’t know that it has to be permanent, but we need to cut all ties for awhile, anyways. I just need some time to figure things out,” Jay replied pathetically.

“There’s someone else. Isn’t there? Just tell me the truth, Jay.”

He hesitated a minute before answering in the faintest whisper … “Yes.”

With his declaration, the tears that didn’t originally come poured out in a flood. I couldn’t help the loud sob that escaped my lips. “Ho-w, cou-could yo-you do –thi-this to me”? I managed to squeak out in between sobs.

“It just happened, Brookie. I do love you. I guess I’m just not in love with you anymore. I need to spend some time with someone else. You’re the only girl I’ve ever been with and I’m just not sure if I’m ready to commit to one person for the rest of my life. Maybe this break is what we need right now to know if we’re meant to be together.”

My tears had subsided for the time being, and now all I felt was rage building up inside. “Let me tell you something, Jason. I had the opportunity to cheat on you, too. But, I didn’t because I LOVE you. I turned down a great guy and maybe we could have been good together, but now I will probably never know. Your selfishness most likely ruined that chance for me. So, thanks for that,” I sarcastically spat out.

“And, no, this break isn’t for us to determine if we’re meant to be together. If you choose her over me, then I already know we aren’t meant to be together. If you choose her over me, then we are done, Jason … forever. So, here’s my ultimatum; do you want her, or me? You can’t have us both.”

He was silent for what could have been just a few seconds, but, after my ultimatum, it seemed like minutes, or even hours – it was so deafening.

“Never mind, don’t answer. Your hesitation tells me everything I already need to know. Goodbye, Jason. Thank you for the memories. I hope you have a nice life.”

Before letting him get another word in, I hung up the phone and wrote the final chapter of that portion of the book that was my life.

W
as I a horrible person for seeking out Rich, just minutes after breaking up with Jay? After spending the last five years of my life loving one person and even wanting to be his wife, you’d think I would be a little more torn up about this. Instead, I was about to walk out of my dorm room to find Rich and accept that dinner invitation that I should have accepted weeks ago.

I quickly ran to the bathroom to blot my red eyes and tear-stained face. I patted on some concealer and added a dab of lip gloss before quickly tossing on my favorite Spartan sweatshirt – the same one I was wearing when Rich asked me out the first time. Unfortunately, the weather had turned cold as it was nearing late October in Michigan and I couldn’t just step into my go-to flip-flops. I sat down to pull on my socks and running shoes before heading out the door to find Rich.

I took the chance that he might be working on his weekly sports column as I made my way to the student union. I didn’t want to wait for the elevator, so I ran up the four flights of stairs to the top floor of the building. I was slightly winded as I entered the
Eagle’s
office.

At first, I didn’t notice him as the lights were dimmed, but on scanning the room, I noticed him sitting on the couch with his long legs up and his laptop resting on his knees. He had a small radio playing ‘80s classic rock set up in the corner. He looked relaxed with his wire rims covering my favorite pair of eyes, and wearing faded, denim jeans and a Detroit Tigers sweatshirt.
Great – another baseball fan,
I thought to myself.

He was humming along to Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” as I cleared my throat to gain his attention. He looked slightly startled by my sudden presence, but flashed me a smile anyways.

“Hey, Brooke. You OK? I didn’t expect to see anyone else up here this evening. What’s going on?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a really long night and I was hoping I would find you up here, actually.”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“I, uh … I just broke up with my boyfriend, or rather he broke up with me.”

“Oh, Brooke, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. Come here and sit down.”

He quickly swung his legs off the couch and sat his laptop on the side table as he patted the couch and gestured for me to take a seat next to him.

I went and nestled into the cushion next to Rich. His perfect scent overcame me; I so badly wanted to plant my lips on his. Rich moved in and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me even closer to him. Snuggling into the crook of his arm, I rested my head on his shoulder. He leaned and pulled me back, as I lifted my feet onto the couch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, while beginning to stroke my hair.

“He’s just a jackass. He was going to propose to me if the Yankees won the World Series; as you probably already know, they lost. So, instead of proposing to me, my boyfriend of over five years dumped me.”

“Fuckin’ Yankees.”

I broke into hysterical laughter. “Thanks, Rich. I needed to laugh. You always seem to know what to say to bring a smile to my face. … This may seem too soon, but do you want to grab that dinner sometime,” I asked.

“Brooke, you know I’d love to, but I don’t want to be your rebound, sweetheart. Take some time for yourself and then decide if it’s really me that you want. I’ll wait.”

I couldn’t argue with him because, truth be told, he was probably right. I did need some time – time to find Brooke. I hadn’t been single since before high school and I needed to find my place in the world – a place without Jay and, unfortunately for right now, a place without Rich Davis.