Unwrapping Her Italian Doc (10 page)

‘Get off me!’ She put her hands up in defence and there was a shocked moment of silence when she realised what she had said, what she had done, but then came his calm voice.

‘I’m not touching you, Louise.’

She pressed her hands to her face and her fingers to her eyes. ‘I’m sorry,’ Louise said, ‘not for what I said before but—’

‘It’s okay.’ Anton was breathless too, as if her unleashed
fear had somehow attached to him. ‘We’ll talk when you’ve calmed down.’

‘No.’ Louise shook her head, embarrassed at her outburst but still cross. ‘We won’t talk because I don’t want to hear it, Anton.’ And then turned and left.

She was done.

‘W
HAT HAPPENED
?’ E
MILY
asked, when Louise returned a couple of hours later to the ward.

‘Sorry, I just got waylaid.’

‘Louise?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘You’ve been crying.’

‘There’s nothing wrong.’

‘Louise?’ Emily frowned when she saw Louise’s smile was wavering as she took Emily’s blood pressure. ‘What’s going on? Look, I’m bored out of my mind. I mean, I am so seriously bored and I’m fed up with people thinking I can’t have a normal conversation, or that they only tell me nice things.’ Emily was truly concerned because she hadn’t seen red eyes on Louise in a very long time. ‘Wesley isn’t contacting you again?’

‘No, no.’ Louise sat down on the bed, even though Brenda might tell her off.

‘Tell me.’ Emily took her hand.

‘Anton.’ Louise gulped. Certainly she wasn’t going to scare Emily and tell her all that had gone on with Felicity’s baby but they really were speaking as friends.

‘Okay.’

‘Personal or professional?’

‘Both,’ Louise admitted. ‘He checks and double-checks everything, you know what he’s like …’

‘I do,’ Emily said.

‘It’s like he doesn’t trust any of the staff but he does it more with me.’

‘Louise.’ Emily didn’t know whether she should say anything but it was pretty much common knowledge what had happened a few months ago. ‘Remember when Gina had her meltdown and went into rehab?’

‘Yep, I know, Hugh reported her …’ Louise looked at Emily, remembering that there had been more than one complaint, or so the rumours went. ‘Did Anton report her as well?’

‘I’m saying nothing.’

‘Okay.’ Louise squeezed her hand in gratitude as Emily spoke on.

‘So maybe he feels he has reason to be checking things.’

‘Hugh doesn’t, though,’ Louise pointed out. ‘Hugh isn’t constantly looking over the nursing staff’s shoulders and assuming the worst.’

‘I know.’ Emily sighed. She adored Anton but had noticed that he was dismissive of the nurses’ findings and she could well understand that things might have come to a head. ‘So, what’s the personal stuff?’

‘Do you really need to know that your obstetrician got off with your midwife?’

‘Ooh.’ Emily gave a delighted smile. ‘I think I did really need to know that.’

‘Well, it won’t be happening again,’ Louise said. ‘We just had the most terrible row, or rather I did …’

‘And what did Anton do?’ Emily gently enquired.

‘He apologised,’ Louise said, and then she frowned
because she wasn’t very used to a guy backing down. For too long it had been the other way around. ‘Emily …’ Louise’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I shouted for him to get off me and the poor guy was just standing there.’

‘Oh, Louise …’ Emily rubbed Louise’s shoulder. ‘It must have been terrifying for you to have a big row. Rows are normal, though. What happened to you wasn’t.’

‘I know.’ Louise blew her nose and recovered herself and gave Emily a smile. ‘I really let rip.’ Louise let out a small shocked laugh.

‘She really did!’ Anton was at the door and came over to the bed. ‘Your latest ultrasound is back. All looks well, there is a nice amount of fluid.’ He had a feel of Emily’s stomach.

‘Nice size,’ Anton said.

‘Really?’

‘Really.’ Anton nodded. ‘Now is the time they start to plump up and your baby certainly is.’

They headed out of Emily’s room and he turned to Louise. ‘What is her blood pressure?’

‘Ha-ha,’ Louise said. ‘Check it yourself.’

Anton gave a wry smile as Louise flounced off but it faded when he saw she went straight up to Brenda.

Louise hadn’t been lying when she had said she didn’t know when she’d be going home.

Something, something had told her she’d be around for the delivery, which meant she wanted to be around when Felicity was more properly awake, and at four she sat holding a big fat baby who had given everyone a horrible scare.

‘Your husband just called and he’s at Heathrow and
is on his way,’ Louise said. ‘And your mum is on her way too.’ Felicity smiled. ‘And you have the cutest, most gorgeous baby. In fact, he’s so cute I don’t think I can hand him over …’

Felicity smiled as Louise did just that and placed the baby in her arms.

‘He’s gorgeous.’

‘I was so scared.’

‘I know you were but, honestly, he gave us a fright but he’s fine.’ She stared at the baby, who was gnawing at his wrist. ‘He’s beautiful and he’s also starving,’ Louise said.

‘Can I feed him?’

‘You can,’ Louise said, ‘because he’s trying to find mine and I’ve told him I’ve got nothing …’ She looked up as Anton came in and then got back to work, helping a very hungry baby latch on.

‘Louise, can I have a word before you leave?’ Anton asked.

Louise’s response was a casual ‘Sure’, but Anton knew that was for the sake of the patient.

‘Felicity,’ Anton said. ‘Your mother has just arrived …’

‘Do you want me to tell her to wait while you feed?’ Louise checked, but Felicity shook her head.

‘No, let her in.’

Louise stayed for the first feed. She just loved that part and then when finally the baby was fed and content and in his little isolette she gave Felicity a cuddle. ‘I’ll come by tomorrow and we’ll talk more about what happened today, if you want to. I took some photos with your phone, if you want to have a look through them with me.’

‘Thank you.’

She popped in to see Emily on her way out, as she always did, but she was just about all smiled out. She just wanted to go home for a good cry, a glass of wine and then bed.

She didn’t even pretend to smile when she knocked on Anton’s office door and went in.

‘Can we talk?’

Louise shook her head. ‘I don’t want to talk to you, Anton,’ Louise said. ‘I’m tired. I just want to go home.’

‘Louise, what happened today was not about you. I had an incident in Milan …’

‘I don’t want to hear it, Anton,’ Louise said, and then relented. ‘Imelda’s, then,’ Louise said. ‘I’m just going to get changed.’

‘Sure.’

‘I’ll meet you over there.’

There was Anton with his sparkling water but there was a glass of wine and some nachos waiting for Louise. Really, she shouldn’t because she had the bloody photo shoot in less than a week but Louise shovelled them in her mouth, getting hungrier with each mouthful.

‘Do you want to get something else?’

‘These are fine,’ Louise said, and then looked at him. ‘Well?’

‘I am so very sorry for today. You did everything right, from ringing Theatre to keeping her on the bed. She was very lucky to have you on duty and I apologise for jumping to the worst conclusion.’

Louise gave a tight shrug. It wasn’t just today she was upset about. ‘What about the other days?’ she challenged. ‘I don’t think you trust me.’

‘No.’ Anton shook his head. ‘That is not the case.’

‘It’s very much the case,’ Louise said. ‘Everything I do you double-check, or you simply dismiss my findings … Aside from the repeated wallops to my ego, it’s surely doubling up for the patient.’ Louise let out a breath. ‘So what happened in Milan?’

‘A few years ago, on Christmas morning, I took a handover, and I was told everything was fine, but by lunchtime I had a baby dead—’ Louise was about to say something but Anton spoke over her. ‘It
was
the hospital’s fault,’ Anton said. ‘Apparently the night midwife had told a junior doctor she had concerns; I took the handover from the registrar and those concerns hadn’t been passed on to her. It was just complete miscommunication. I went in to see my patient at ten, and there were many things that I should have been paged about but hadn’t been. I took her straight to Theatre and delivered the baby but he only lived for a couple of hours.

‘The coroner did not blame me, thank God, but I have never seen friendships fall so rapidly. There was blame, accusations, it was hell. So much so that when the finding came in I no longer trusted anyone I worked with, and I knew I had to make a fresh start, which was why I moved into fertility.’

‘But you came back.’

‘Yes, I never thought I would but the last months I was there, the parents of Alberto, the baby who had died, came in to try for another baby. It was a shock to us all. I offered to step aside but by then I had quite a good reputation and they asked that I remain. I was very happy when they got pregnant and it was then that I realised how much I had missed obstetrics. I knew I needed a fresh start so I applied to come here. I had
always had a good rapport with colleagues until Alberto’s death. I wanted to get that back and I tried, but within a few weeks of being here there was an incident … He looked at Louise and she was glad that Emily had filled her in about Gina because Anton didn’t. ‘I’m not giving specifics but it shook me and from that point I have been cautious …’

‘To the extreme,’ Louise said.

‘Yes.’

‘Terrible things happen, Anton. Terrible, terrible things …’

‘I know that. I just wish I had not taken a handover that morning and had checked myself …’

‘You can’t check everyone, you can’t follow everyone around.’

‘I’m aware of that.’

‘Yet you do.’

‘I’ve spoken to Brenda and I have told her what went on, not just today but in the past. I also told her that I am hoping things will be different in the future.’

‘Did you get her “There’s no I in team” lecture?’ Louise asked, and Anton smiled and nodded.

‘I’ve had it a few times from Brenda already and, yes, I got it again today.’

‘Well, I disagree with her,’ Louise said. ‘There should be an I in team. I am responsible, I am capable, I know I’ve got this, and if I stuff up then I take responsibility. If we all do that, which we seem to do where I work, then teams do well. We look out for each other,’ Louise said. ‘We have a buddy system. I don’t just glance at CTGs when they’re given to me and neither do my colleagues. We take ages discussing them, going over them …’

‘I know that.’

‘It doesn’t feel like it,’ Louise said.

‘I am hoping things will be different now.’

‘Good,’ Louise said. ‘Is that it?’

‘No, I want to know what you meant about me judging you on your morals.’

‘This isn’t a social get-together, Anton. I’m here to talk about work.’

‘Louise.’

‘Okay, just because I’m not on a husband hunt, just because I fancied you …’

‘Past tense?’

‘Oh, it is so past tense,’ Louise said. ‘So very past tense.’

‘Louise,’ Anton said, and she must have heard the tentative tone to his voice because immediately her eyes darted away, even before his question was voiced. ‘What happened that made you so scared back there?’

‘That isn’t about work either.’ She got up and hoisted up her bag. ‘I’m sorry you went through crap and I’m so sorry for the baby and its family.’

‘Louise.’ He halted her as she went to go. ‘The midwife on that morning, I was going out with her. She was busy, meant to go back and check, meant to call, but got waylaid. Can you see why I was very reluctant to get involved with you?’

‘I can.’ She stood there but didn’t give him the answer he was hoping for. ‘Well, at least you don’t have that problem with me now—we’re no longer involved.’ She gave him a tight smile. ‘Goodnight, Anton.’

Louise got home, closed the door and promptly burst into tears. Despite her tough talk with Anton she could
think of nothing worse than losing a baby under those circumstances and at Christmas too.

Then she went into the bath and cried some more. She’d been raging at him and he’d simply stood there.

She was beyond confused and all churned up from her loss of control.

Why couldn’t it just be sex? Louise thought. Why did she have to really, really like him?

As she got out of the bath her phone bleeped a text from Emily.

U OK?

Louise gave a rapid reply.

Bloody men! How’s baby?

Kick-kicking, or maybe he’s waving to you.

Louise sent back a smiley face, knowing what was to come.

Maybe SHE’S waving???? Emily texted, hoping that Louise would give her a clue.

Not telling, came Louise’s reply. Ask Hugh.

He won’t tell me, Emily replied. Bloody men!

A
NTON REALLY DID
make an effort at work, though Louise wasn’t sure if it was temporary. At least he had stopped double-checking everything that she did. Brenda had a word with some of the staff, as Anton had asked her to do. They in turn rang him a little sooner than usual with concerns, and slowly the I in team was working, except Louise was no longer a part of his team.

‘Phone for you, Louise,’ someone called, and Louise headed out to the desk. It was the IVF clinic, which had been unable to reach her on her mobile or at home, and Louise took out her phone and saw that the battery was flat.

‘Are you okay to talk, or do you want to call us back?’

‘No, now’s fine,’ Louise said.

‘Richard wanted to let you know that your iron levels are now normal but to keep taking the supplements, especially the folic acid.’

‘I shall. Thank you,’ Louise said.

‘Have a lovely Christmas and we’ll see you in the new year.’

Louise’s stomach was all aflutter as she ended the call.

‘Good news?’ Brenda asked, but Louise didn’t answer.
Her
lovely Christmas
was walking past and this time when he sat down and ignored her it was at Louise’s request.

Of course, she still dealt with his patients—after all, Emily was one of them—but the distance she had asked for was there. As far as was reasonable she was allocated other patients and when they spoke it was only about work.

‘Can you buddy this?’ Beth asked, and Louise nodded and sat down. ‘What are you working over Christmas?’ Beth asked.

‘Tomorrow’s my last shift,’ Louise said, ‘and then I’m off till after New Year.’

‘Lucky you!’

‘I know.’ Louise smiled. ‘I can’t wait.’

She lied.

They looked at the CTG together and Anton could hear them discussing it, Louise asking a couple of questions before they both signed off on it.

What a mistrusting fool he had been.

He had never worked anywhere better than here. The diligence, the care, was second to none but he’d realised it all too late.

‘Do you need anything, Anton?’ Beth asked, as Anton signed off on a few prescriptions and then stood.

‘Nope, I’m heading home. Goodnight, everyone.’

When Anton stepped into his apartment a little later he felt like ripping the bloody tinsel down, yet he left it.

Louise had been in his apartment for three nights in total yet she was everywhere.

From lipstick on the towels and sheets to long blonde hairs in his comb.

Even the bed smelt of her perfume and Anton woke
to his phone buzzing at three-thirty a.m. and, for a second, so consuming was her scent he actually thought she was in bed beside him.

Instead, it was the ward with news about Emily.

‘I’m so sorry …’ Emily said, as Anton came into the room at four a.m.

‘No apologies,’ Anton said, taking off his jacket, and then smiled at Evie, who had set up for Anton to examine Emily.

‘I thought I’d wet myself,’ Emily said. ‘Maybe I did …’

‘It is amniotic fluid,’ Anton said, taking a swab. ‘Your waters are leaking. We will get this swab checked for any signs of infection and keep a close eye on your temperature.’

‘How long can I go with a leak?’

‘Variable. Do you have any discomfort?’

‘My back aches,’ Emily said, ‘but I’m not sure if that’s from being in bed …’

‘Have you told Hugh?’

‘Not yet,’ Emily said. ‘He was paged at midnight and he’s in Theatre. He’ll find out soon enough.’

When Louise came on for her shift she saw Anton sitting at the desk and duly ignored him. She headed around to the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea, trying to ignore the scent and feel of him when he walked into the kitchen behind her.

‘Emily’s waters are leaking,’ Anton said. ‘I just thought I’d tell you now, rather than you hear it during handover.’

Louise turned round.

‘I’ve ordered an ultrasound to check the amniotic levels and she is on antibiotics …’

‘But?’

‘Her back is hurting again. There are no contractions but her uterus is irritable.’

‘She’s going to have it.’

‘You don’t know that’s the case …’

‘I do know that this baby is coming soon,’ Louise said, and Anton nodded.

‘I don’t think she’ll hold off for much longer.’

Louise felt her eyes fill up when Anton spoke on.

‘I miss working with you, Louise.’

Louise didn’t say anything.

‘I miss
you
,’ Anton said.

She looked at him and, yes, she missed him too.

‘Can we start again?’ Anton said.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Louise, you seem to have it in your head that I’m controlling. I get that I have been at work, I still will be …’ He looked at her. ‘Do you know why I’ve been on water at all the parties over Christmas? It’s because I have Hazel who is due to deliver soon and I believe Emily will have that baby any day. I want to be there for them both. Yes, I am fully in control at work, and I get you have seen me at my worst here, but you know why now.’

Louise breathed out and looked at him, the most diligent person she knew, and then he continued speaking.

‘You explained you are dieting because you have a photo shoot, that you know what you’re doing with your weight, and not once since then have I said anything. I was worried about you because my sister has
been there but when you said you knew what you were doing, I accepted that.’

He had.

‘My ex …’ she didn’t want to say it here but it was time to tell him a little, if not all. ‘He was so jealous, he didn’t get that I could be friends with Rory. He didn’t even like Emily …’

‘And …?’ Anton pushed, but Louise shook her head so he pushed on as best he could, but he was a non-witness after the fact and Louise kept him so.

‘I would never come between you and your friends.’

‘You weren’t exactly friendly towards Rory on the night of the theatre do—you were giving him filthy looks.’

‘Oh, that’s right,’ Anton said. ‘And you were so sweet to
Saffron.
I was jealous when I thought you were on together, just as you were with me.’

Louise swallowed, she knew he was right.

‘I like your friends. I like it that you can be friendly with an ex. And you can flirt, you can be funny, and I have no issue with it, but what I will not do is go along with the notion that I like you going for IVF so early in our relationship.’

Louise turned to go.

‘Wrong word for you, Louise?’

It was.

‘I need to think, Anton,’ Louise said, and possibly the nicest thing he did then was not to argue his case or demand that they speak. He simply nodded.

‘Of course.’

Louise took handover and she was allocated Stephanie’s patients, all except for Emily, who was asleep when she went in to her.

‘Just rest,’ Louise said. ‘I’m only doing your blood pressure.’

‘When are you going for lunch?’ Emily asked sleepily.

‘About twelve. Do you want me to have it here with you?’

Emily nodded. ‘Unless you need a break from the patients.’

‘Don’t be daft—of course I’d love to have lunch with you.’

When lunchtime came Louise went and got her salad from the fridge and it was so nice to close the door and sit down with her friend.

‘It’s going to be strange, not having you around,’ Emily admitted.

‘I’ll be visiting, texting …’

‘I know,’ Emily said, ‘it just won’t be the same. Are you excited about your photo shoot tomorrow?’

‘I am, though you’re to promise you’ll text me if anything happens.’ Louise went into her pocket and handed Emily a business card. ‘This is the hotel I’m at, just in case there’s nowhere to put my phone!’

‘Louise, you are not leaving your photo shoot,’ Emily said, handing her back the card.

‘But I want to be here if anything happens.’

‘I know you do and I’d love you to be here, but I’ve got Hugh.’

Louise took back the card and stared at it.

Emily had Hugh.

Yes, Louise could do this alone and she would, but for a moment there she reconsidered. Hugh had been here every day, making Emily laugh, letting her relax, an endless stream of support.

It would be so hard to do this alone.

Louise cleared her throat. She didn’t like where her mind was heading. ‘Well, if you can hold off tomorrow, Christmas Day would be fine.’ Louise gave her friend a wide smile as she teased her. ‘At least that would get me out of dinner at Mum’s.’

Emily laughed,

‘Have you seen what you’re wearing for the photo shoot?’ Emily asked.

‘Oh, it’s so nice, all reds and black—Valentine’s Day stuff, seriously sexy,’ Louise said. ‘We’ve got the presidential suite and I think I’m his girlfriend or wife, the model’s Jeremy …’ Louise rattled on as, unseen, Anton came in and checked Emily’s CTG. ‘He’s so gorgeous but so gay. Anyway, we wake up and why I’m wearing a bra and panties and shoes at six a.m. I have no idea, but then there are to be photos with me waving him off to work …’

‘Still in your undies and shoes?’ Emily asked, and Louise nodded.

‘Then he comes home with flowers and I’m in my evening stuff then, and I think he takes me over the dining table …’

Emily wished Louise would turn around and see Anton’s smile as she spoke.

‘Everything is looking good,’ Anton said, and Emily watched as Louise jumped, wondering how much he had heard. Emily’s heart actually hurt that Louise expected to be told off for being herself, and she watched her friend make herself turn around and smile.

‘Hiya,’ Louise said. ‘I’m just asking Emily to cross her legs tomorrow, but any time after that is fine.’

‘How Emily’s temperature?’

‘All normal. I’m actually on my lunch break.’

‘Oh,’ Anton said, and left them to it. ‘Sorry for interrupting.’

‘Why won’t you give the two of you a chance?’ Emily said. ‘Why can’t you believe—?’

‘Because I stopped believing,’ Louise said. ‘I want to believe—I want to believe that we might be able to work, that we’re as right for each other, as I sometimes feel we are. I just don’t know how to start.’

‘Have you told him what happened last Christmas?’

‘I don’t know how to.’

‘He needs to know, Louise. If you two are to stand a chance then you have to somehow tell him.’

Louise shook her head. ‘I don’t want to talk about it ever again.’

‘Why don’t you ask Anton to come along tomorrow?’

‘Good God, no!’

‘Think about it—you at your tarty best. What would Wesley have done?’

‘I shudder to think,’ Louise said. ‘Look, I know Anton’s not like that. I’m just so scared because I’d have sworn Wesley wasn’t like that either.’

‘Well, there’s one very easy way to find out.’

‘I think he’s working tomorrow,’ Louise said. ‘Anyway, don’t you want him here?’

‘Oh, believe me, if I go into labour I’ll be calling him, so you’d know anyway, but please don’t leave your photo shoot for me. I know how important it is to you.’

‘Okay,’ Louise said. ‘I still want to know, though.’

‘Ask Anton.’

Louise shook her head. ‘He’s not going to take a day off for that.’

‘He’s not going to if you don’t ask him.’

Louise checked on a patient who was sleeping but in labour and she put her on the CTG machine and took a footstool and climbed up onto the nurses’ station where she sat, watching her patient from a distance, listening to the baby’s heartbeat.

Anton walked onto the unit and saw Louise sitting up on the bench, back straight, ears trained, like some elongated pixie.

‘What are you doing?’ Anton asked, as he walked past.

‘Watching room seven,’ Louise said, and smiled and looked down.

‘Are you okay?’ Anton said, referring to their conversation in the kitchen that morning.

‘I don’t know.’

‘I know you don’t and that’s okay.’

‘Can you help me down?’ Louise asked cheekily, and watched as he glanced at the footstool. ‘Whoops!’ She kicked away the footstool and Anton smiled and helped her down. The brief contact, the feel of his hands on her waist stirred her senses and made her long to break her self-imposed isolation. She just didn’t know how.

‘I know we need to talk,’ Louise said. ‘I just don’t know when.’

‘That’s fine.’

A patient buzzed and he let her go.

‘Hello, Carmel,’ Louise said, and then saw that Carmel wasn’t in bed but in the bathroom, and the noise she was making had Louise instantly push the bell before even going to investigate.

‘There’s something there,’ Carmel said. She was deep-squatting and Emily pulled on gloves with her
heart in her mouth. Carmel’s baby was breech, and if it was a cord prolapse then it was dire indeed.

Louise pressed the bell in the bathroom in three short bursts as she knelt.

Thankfully it wasn’t the cord. Instead two little legs were hanging out. ‘Call Stephanie,’ Louise said, as Brenda popped her head in the door.

‘She’s delivering someone,’ Brenda said. ‘I’ll get Anton and the cart.’

‘You,’ Louise said to Carmel, ‘are doing amazingly.’ The baby was dangling and it was the hardest thing not to interfere. Instinct meant you wanted traction, to get the head out, but Louise breathed through it, her hands hovering to catch the baby.

She heard or rather sensed that it was Anton who had come in and she went to move aside but he just knelt behind Louise. ‘Well done, Carmel,’ Anton said.

Louise felt his hand on her shoulder as patiently they waited for Mother Nature to take her course.

It was just so lovely and quiet. Brenda came in with the cart and stood back. There was a baby about to be born and everyone just let it happen.

Patience was a necessary virtue here.

‘That’s it,’ Louise said. ‘Put your hands down and feel your baby,’ she said, as the baby simply dropped, and Carmel let out a moan as her baby was delivered into her own and Louise’s hands.

‘Well done,’ Anton said, as Brenda went and got a hot blanket and wrapped it around the mother and infant.

Stephanie arrived then, smiling delightedly.

‘Well done, Carmel!’

It had been so nice, so lovely and so much less scary with Anton there—a lovely soft birth. Louise’s eyes
were glittering with happy tears as finally Carmel was back in bed with her husband beside her and her baby in her arms.