(Un)wise (12 page)

“She’s trying to kill me,” I muttered as I struggled to lift myself from the bottom of the tub.

The door flew open with a crack, disturbing the air and making the shower curtain flutter.  It stuck to my skin, and I curled my lip.  Gross.  Hotel shower curtain.  Touching me.  I frantically batted it away thinking of all the nasty things on it—and once my mind was on the subject, all the nasty things at the bottom of the hotel tub—when the curtain was suddenly torn aside.

Luke stared down at me. Rage and panic filled his eyes.

“What the hell?” I sputtered trying to grab the curtain and cover myself, no longer so picky about it touching me.  Red crept up his neck as I watched.

Flustered, he let the curtain go, but he still had the sense to reach around to turn off the water.  His eyes raked my face.  “You fell asleep again, didn’t you,” he said with soft reproach.

“Of course I did!  I
always
fall asleep.  Now, get out!”  Embarrassment and anger warred for dominance.  It was one thing to joke about ‘us’, to try to Claim him, to kid about my boobs, but to have him actually
see
me, all of me.  I wanted to curl up in a ball of shame.  I didn’t eat right and looked like hell.  The scars on my arms still stood out vividly which was why I wore clothes to cover them.  And he’d seen
everything
.  I’d noted the shock in his eyes before he surrendered the curtain.

“Be out in two minutes, or I’m coming back in,” he warned closing the door behind him.

“If you come back in, you better be naked too,” I shouted at the closed door, anger finally winning.

I pulled myself from the tub with shaking limbs and wrapped myself in a towel, using the one meant for him to dry my hair.  Those dreams shook me.  The first three had been the same girl.  Gabby.  No doubt the same Gabby Luke kept talking about.  The second set of dreams also involved a single star.  Michelle.  Their lives sucked just like mine.  It didn’t make me feel any better.

Taking my time, I brushed my teeth and gradually warmed enough that the blue tint faded from my lips.  More than two minutes had passed, and I gave myself a weak smirk in the mirror.

Pulling the bag close, I dug for clean clothes.  Not finding any, I settled for the cleanest.  I took my time getting dressed.

Finally, I stepped out of the bathroom.  I ran my fingers through my damp tangled hair and gave him the barest glance before I moved to the hotel’s TV guide, pretending to read it.

“Either we get where we’re going tomorrow, or we need to find a laundromat.  Everything’s dirty,” I commented.

Silence greeted me.  Stifling the urge to scrunch up my face in annoyance, I took a calming breath and turned to face him.

Luke reclined on the bed, his hands behind his head, as he watched me move around the room.  His shirt stretched tight over his chest.  I struggled to pull my gaze away.  His exposed arms flexed as he moved one out from behind his head.  On the inside, I sighed.

“Come on,” he said, waving me over.  “Get some sleep.”

He knew sleeping in a cold shower didn’t qualify as rest, but I hadn’t expected him to be on the bed waiting for me after my smart remark.  I shuffled to the bed in my stocking feet and lay beside him, not too eager to sleep just yet.

He pulled me to his side, slid an arm under my head, and tucked me under his chin.  His heat melted away the lingering chill of the shower.  His willingness to get so close while I was still awake puzzled me—he usually waited until I was already slipping into a dream.  He lightly ran a hand down my covered arm.  Right over the cuts I’d once made in desperation.  I closed my eyes in shame.

“Don’t,” he whispered.  “Not with me.  I’m not here to judge you.  I’m here to keep you safe.  Always.  Even from yourself.”

His arm tightened around me.  This time I dove for the dream tugging at my consciousness.  Anything to escape the little tug at my heart his words caused.

*    *    *    *

We left the room several hours later.  I didn’t think he’d slept at all, but I had five hours of sweet nothing—well, not nothing.  I’d woken to my face plastered to his bare chest.  Best five hours of sleep ever.

“We should reach the Compound by nightfall.”

When we stepped into the parking lot, Luke’s stride paused.  He tilted his head back, scented the light breeze, grabbed my hand, and pulled me toward the bike.  I didn’t stop to wonder why.  He’d smelled something.  I quickly slipped the bag across my body and climbed on behind him as my eyes searched for the cause.  Luke started the bike with a roar.

Just then two men stepped from the office.  My heart leapt, and my arms involuntarily tightened around Luke.  He took off with a squeal of the back tire.  The bike slipped under us a bit, but I risked a look back.  Where the men stood, two large dogs stared after us.  They didn’t give chase.  Instead, they turned and ran into the woods.

“They’re not following,” I called to Luke.

He nodded and opened the throttle.  My stomach rolled at the surge in speed.  Thankfully, I hadn’t eaten anything.

We merged with an interstate that took us south, not north.  I wanted to moan in frustration, but understood his decision.  Since we were so close to our goal, they would know our intended direction.  Hopping on the interstate would throw them off.  Heck, it threw me off.  I had no idea which way we intended to come in from.

How had they found us though?  We’d been careful, zigzagging all over the place in a non-pattern.  I’d been watching the map.  Maybe Luke was right.  They had sentinels waiting for us.  But we were still so many miles away.  Could they have so many in their pack as that?  I doubted it.  Maybe it’d just been luck.  Or maybe, he’d told someone again.  I rested my head against his back, emotionally drained.  I’d fluctuated between “just let me die” and “I don’t want to die” too many times to count.  I didn’t know what I wanted anymore except to be left alone.  I had never asked to be in the middle of a werewolf tug of war.

We drove for hours the wrong way and then got off at an exit heading east so we could circle back around.  Despite his efforts, I knew it would be pointless.  Like he said, they would be waiting—because somehow, they always seemed to know where to expect us.  I knew what I needed to do.

When he offered to stop, I pointed to a laundromat.  He nodded and pulled in.  He loosened the bag, and I slid off, taking the bag with me.  His troubled gaze never wavered from me as he followed me into the light airy building.

He used the change machine as I shoved everything in a washer.  After adding quarters and dumping in the powder detergent from the packet I’d bought at the vending machine, I finally faced him.  He eyed me warily.  Apparently his wolfie senses knew something was up.  I let out a long, slow breath, calmed myself, and let the beginning of a dream wrap its arms around me—not enough to sleep, just enough to slow my pulse.  I had to mask a lie.

“I saw a fast food place a few blocks away.  I’ll get us something.”

He frowned at me.  “I’ll go with.”

“No way.  We’ll lose our stuff.  It’s two blocks away and we’re in the middle of town,” I arched a brow at him and patted the bag I still had slung over my shoulder.  “I have protection and can carry everything with this.  Two burgers?”

“Three,” he grumped reaching into his wallet and giving me a twenty.  We’d used all the money he’d given me for rooms along the way.

I plucked it from his fingers with a smile.  “Probably a good idea,” I agreed.  “You may not have fries by the time I walk back.”

He smiled at me as he sat down to watch the machine.

I strode out the door, turned right, and didn’t look back.  Not far away, I flagged down a ride and asked them if they could take me north.  Staring out the window, trying to ignore the ache growing in my chest, I watched the mile markers go by.

*    *    *    *

My jaw popped on my third yawn.  The couple had taken me over an hour north.  They dropped me off and wished me luck.  I smiled and waved as they pulled away.  My stomach grumbled, and I thought of the twenty in my pocket.  I still had a long way to go; and with no Luke, I needed to save the cash for when I really
needed it.

Going into the gas station, I used the restroom and drank from the water fountain.  The clerk watched me in the convenience mirror.  Apparently my days of looking like a runaway weren’t over.  I ignored him and headed out the door to begin my long trek—the gas station hadn’t had anyone who’d looked willing enough to give me a ride.  Plus, the clerk would have probably called it in.

I trudged north for an hour, lost in my thoughts of this life and past lives.  Why had the Taupe Lady directed my dreams to Gabby and Michelle’s pasts?  Why in order?  And why couldn’t I recall all the details like I could with other past lives?  Because they weren’t dead yet?  It made sense.  How could I remember everything when everything hadn’t yet occurred?  Why direct my dreams at all, though?  She claimed she couldn’t interfere, but then did just that, hadn’t she?

Something had me lifting my head instead of watching my feet.  The trees around me had lost their leaves, and I could once again see my breath in the air.  I huddled in Luke’s jacket and wondered if he’d figured it out yet.

A twig snapped, and a group of three men stepped from the woods onto the shoulder in front of me.  Steam rose from their skin.  Shorts provided their only covering.  Their smiles froze my insides.  My feet stopped moving, but my mind whirred with possibilities.  Distract and run!

“He went that way,” I called pointing to my left.  They all turned, and I sprinted to the right, crashing into the trees ignoring the bite of the branches as they whipped my face.

I ran.  They toyed with me.  With their speed, I knew they could catch me at any moment. But what fun would that be, I thought bitterly.  The echoes of past lives hit me.  Same game, same chase.  My anger grew, fueling my legs.  I pushed past the pain and kept moving.  Just like my dreams, I sought something.  A place to jump. A way to die cleanly.  They couldn’t have me. The price for the world was too high.

A coughing laugh from behind me signaled their full transformation.  I dodged around trees gasping for air, not slowing.  Was it too much to ask for a random cliff in the woods every now and again?

Fear pooled in my stomach as my leg failed with a cramp.  I fell hard but didn’t lay in a pathetic heap for more than a heartbeat.  Getting my knees under me, my hand darted into my bag still slung across my body as I sprang up and leaned against a sapling.  My quick moves didn’t matter.  They were already upon me, their panting louder than my own as they laughed.

Pulling my hand from the bag, I surprised them with my knife.  My gift from Luke.  I felt a pang thinking of him.  Leaving hadn’t kept me any safer.

One of the men shifted back enough to speak, but his mouth was still too long for the words to come out clearly.  “What do you think to do with that?”

Around us the trees remained quiet. Only the distant chirping of birds reminded me I wasn’t alone.

“What did you hope to accomplish by chasing me?” I countered.

“Blake told us you would know.  You’re the dreamer,” he said further shifting into a man.

“Your new leader?” I asked willing myself to breathe deeply, shoring my determination and trying to quell my fear.

They didn’t answer but it didn’t matter.  Their leader changed each cycle, but their goals did not.

“If I’m the dreamer, then we all know the outcome,” I said.  “Walk away and maybe I’ll live for another day.”

“I don’t think so, little girl,” he said as he eyed my knife.

“I’d hoped history wouldn’t repeat itself this time.  I’m tired of dying.” The fear left me.  Only sorrow remained as I spun the knife deftly and plunged it toward my soft middle.

The man roared and moved before the tip did more than pierce the surface.  I’d underestimated their speed.  But, when he batted it out of my hands, he didn’t realize he furthered my cause.  A thin trail of fire blazed across my middle, superficial at best, but his nostrils flared as he scented my blood.  I shifted my stance, bracing myself.

He growled but didn’t touch me further.  We stood facing each other with me slightly bent holding an arm against the sting on my stomach.  The other two stood several paces behind their spokesperson.

“Come with us on your own and spare yourself some pain.”

Spare myself pain?  He had just acknowledged I remembered my—our—past lives.  “Stupid dog,” I laughed.

He cuffed me upside the head, knocking me to my side.  I staggered but did not fall.  It hurt my cut but brought me closer to my knife.  I didn’t look at the shining blade resting on the decaying leaves.  Instead, I straightened and faced him again.

“Your brain mustn’t have expanded again with that last shift.”

This time he slapped me.  It was hard enough to justify a stumble a few more steps to my right.

“See?” I managed on a pain-filled exhale.  “Pain is all you know how to give.  There won’t be any sparing of anything but kindness and mercy.”

He snorted.  “Mercy is for the weak.”

“No.  Mercy is for anyone with a big enough vocabulary to —”

I didn’t get to finish the insult.  He knocked me hard.  The side of my face exploded in agony as I went down.  This time, right on the knife.  I laughed like a madwoman as I lay there.  No one moved to touch me again. Were they trying to figure out what was so funny?  It didn’t matter.  I’d reached my goal.  They wouldn’t have me this time.

Putting my arms under myself, I palmed the handle and stood, hiding my weapon behind my back, trying to angle the blade for my next fall.

“Stupid,” I taunted.

Before he could move, something big and dark flew toward one of the beasts, knocking it into a tree.  I didn’t take my eyes from the man in front of me, but it looked like another one of them, half transformed.

The attention of the one in front of me didn’t waver either.  As soon as one of his own hit the tree, he immediately grabbed for me.  I slashed out with the knife, taking him by surprise.  The wild swing relieved him of a not quite human digit.  He screamed as behind him another member of his pack flew at the new attacker.

The wolf before me ignored the blood dripping from his hand and crouched slightly, watching me closely.  His injury had wiped his patronizingly amused expression from his face.  Tense, he hesitated, unsure how to come at me.

I grinned at him.  “Stupid and slow.  A bad combination in a fight.”

His lip curled back in a silent snarl a moment before he lunged toward me.  I swung the knife up and over in a diagonal slash that caught his chest and part of his face when he pulled back.  My arm ached from the force I’d used.  I knew I wouldn’t take him by surprise again.  Or could I?

He lunged once more, but this time I did not swing for him. I brought the knife up to my own neck.  Seeing the edge poised at my throat, he suddenly flew backwards, away from me.  The move gave me a clear view of who’d joined the fight.

Luke, shifted to a mix of more wolf than man, held my tormentor by the throat.  The man’s flesh bulged between Luke’s fingers.  The man flailed but didn’t make a sound.  He couldn’t.  Luke spun, putting his back to me at the same time his arm twitched.  A loud popping crack sounded.  The man stilled.

In the silence, I caught a distant sound of drumming feet hitting the ground.  My shoulders slumped and the unfurling hope within me quickly withered.  Too many this time.

Luke tossed the dead man aside and pivoted toward the sound. His strong back shielded me from the horde racing toward us.  For just a moment, I rested my forehead against the solid wall of him.  I breathed deeply smelling his sweat and soap.  He didn’t move.  His focus remained on the oncoming pack.  He would die for me.  My chest tightened, and I struggled with my next inhale.  I didn’t want that.  But I knew he wouldn’t leave.

The drumming grew louder.  Branches snapped as the wolves forced their way toward us.  A howl rent the air.

How had I been so stubbornly stupid?  In a way, I still was.  Too afraid to admit, even to myself, how much I cared for the man standing in front of me.  I’d squandered any chance for happiness—no matter how brief—in this life.  I hoped the memory of Luke and how I felt for him would give me more courage in the next one.  Courage to trust.  Courage to see the truth.  He wasn’t one of them.

“I will hold the memory of you in my heart forever,” I managed to say before a single tear rolled down my cheek.  That’s all I had time for. I hoped he knew what he meant to me.  Straightening, I flipped the knife so the handle was clasped in my hand, but the blade along my forearm angled outward. I hoped it would be harder to knock out of my hand that way.

As the first of them erupted from the underbrush, Luke spun out with his claws, slashing through the wolf’s soft underbelly.  Its sharp cry pierced the air and signaled the start of madness.

I braced myself, ready for anything, but nothing broke through Luke’s guard with the first wave.  He knocked body after body back, eviscerating those he could.  Blood soaked the ground, but he held firm.

A movement away from the main attack caught my attention.  I looked away from the carnage to see several sneaking around us.  Turning, I stood with my back to Luke.

I stood in a bloodied field.  Bodies littered the ground around me, but still more came.  I moved like water, bending and flowing over the mass that would kill me, anger fueling me.  I had no claws, but the knives struck them just as well.

The vision slammed into me, then left me as I blinked at the dogs who’d come several steps closer.  The echo of that epic battle burrowed into my mind and wouldn’t let go.  I could
fight
.  Loosening my stance, I slightly bent my knees, ready on the balls of my feet.  I could do better than a lucky swing that might claim a finger.  I could
kill
.  Adrenaline surged through me.  I looked at the numbers around us and doubted it would be enough.

The first one crept toward me, and I felt Luke shift behind me.

“Focus on your side,” I said as I moved like water once again, but for the first time in this life.  Wide stance...lean to the side and sweep the arm out as you move, I thought
.
  The blade slid through flesh and bumped bone.  I pulled the blade back and shifted my weight to the other side to kick out, knocking the shocked beast to the side.

I grinned. 
I got this!
  Using my muscles in ways they had never been used in this life time, I continued sweeping and slashing my blade.  The sharp edge bit into the fur covered flesh of three of them before they partially shifted.  They didn’t want to kill me so their fangs and claws had less use than opposable thumbs.  Still, I had an advantage for a while.  Then, I noticed some of the cuts I’d made starting to knit together.  I needed to do more than wound.  My mind knew the moves, but my untrained body often fell short on delivery.

Soon their anger over my continued slices had them striking harder.  Aches formed where they’d managed to sneak through my guard and hit me.  Those punishing blows were meant to wear me down.  It worked.  An attacker caught my arm and pulled me forward, off balancing me so I fell toward his chest.

Something bumped into me from behind.  Face planted into the disgustingly wet furred chest of the man holding my arm, I felt a blow vibrate through his body.  He jerked oddly. His grip loosened.  I pulled back and looked up at his face as he let go.  Bile rose to my throat at the sight of the bloody stump of his neck.  He fell to the side. I swallowed heavily and looked for the next attacker. Fewer stood before me than there’d been a moment ago.  And those still around me had shifted their attention from me to Luke.  Risking a quick glance, I saw why.

Several jumped on him at once, weighing him down as they grappled with his swinging arms. The remaining men joined in, knowing as I did, that if they brought Luke down, they would have me. None of them paid me any attention, now.

Luke’s tendons stood out with strain as he continued to struggle.  An attacker bit into Luke’s neck and held on.  Luke didn’t have time to shake the man before another attacker flew at him.  No one noticed that I had shifted my focus to the wolf still attached to him.  I flipped the blade in my hand and threw it.  It sank into the biter’s side.  The man grunted but didn’t loosen his hold. Luke gripped another man’s head, twisted the man’s neck savagely, then turned to the next attacker before the body fell. But Luke’s movements were slow and sluggish because of the man whose teeth still pierced him.

I stepped forward and pulled the handle of my knife, now stuck in the man’s middle, up until the blade resisted.  The man, screaming in pain, let go. Luke continued to fight.  I stepped back, flowing into my ready stance, waiting.  The sounds of Luke’s struggles faded to the background as I maintained my focus.  Rage and retribution filled the man’s gaze.  His claws elongated, his fingers receding to make room for their full length.  With a snarl, he reached for me.  But he didn’t move far.  Luke sent his last attacker flying, then twisted to address the man I faced.  He raked the man, gutting him in a spray of blood, from groin to throat.

Looking away, I scanned the area around us, the trees, the undergrowth, searching for more.  The thud of the man’s body falling to the ground heralded a harsh kind of silence.

Luke’s ragged breaths blended with mine, the only noise filling the air.  Nothing moved.  The animals around us remained silent.  Then, a single bird chirped.  My eyes flew to Luke’s.  He too remained partially crouched.  But nothing happened.

We’d done it.

I slowly straightened, wincing at the various little pains that tingled into my awareness.  My wounds didn’t concern me as much as Luke did.  Blood painted his clothes and dotted his half-transformed face.  I bent and grabbed a shirt from the bag.  With each breath, his features settled back into the man I knew. Except his eyes.  They stayed dilated, overly large and completely focused on me.  I started shaking from too much adrenaline and nothing to use it on.  Or maybe shock.  Who knew?

He took two steps forward, plucked the knife from my hand, and dropped it to the ground.  Anger remained in his eyes.  His jaw muscles twitched rhythmically.  His neck bled from the bite, but he didn’t seem to notice.

I shrugged out of his jacket and stripped out of the hoodie so I could use it to press against the wound.  He jerked slightly at my touch and placed a hand on my waist.

In an unexpected move, he snagged the hem of my shirt with a finger and lifted it high enough to see the slice across my stomach.  I’d forgotten about that.  His attention brought the pain back into focus.  It hurt.  He glanced at the cut and then dropped the hem, his eyes devouring me again.  His hand stayed on my side, warm and comforting. He stepped close.

He still looked mad, and the lingering signs of his shift unnerved me.  Yet, I kept pressure on the bite.  I couldn’t afford a passed out werewolf.  My hand continued to tremble, and he reached up to close his hand around mine.  I wondered how much his bite hurt.  Still staring at his neck, he surprised me when he leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine.  My gaze flew to his, but he had closed his eyes.  He breathed deeply, then released my hand.  Gently, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him.  His mouth brushed my hair.  The hug started out light but grew tighter until I squeaked involuntary in pain.