Authors: Chantal Fernando
Hope that I soon dash. “No.”
How fucked-up is that? My first instinct after hearing this news isn't even to go after her, to tell her everything will be okay, because I don't know if it will be. I've never trusted another woman when she said she was on the pill, I always wore condoms anyway, but with Shay, I trusted her completely. I guess that's not exactly fair, because shit does happen and nothing is foolproof, but fuck, I only just heard the news and my head is fuckin' spinning.
This can't be happening.
I run my fingers over the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath.
Shay.
Pregnant.
A fuckin' baby.
I picture a small baby with her dark hair. A baby of mixed nationalities, raised by two people whose own parents didn't even want them.
I don't know anything about being a good father.
Nothing. I never had one, I never had a good childhood, I never had anything, and that's all I know to give back to a child.
Nothing.
I wouldn't know how to be there emotionally. I wouldn't know how to calm a crying baby, or how to bond with one. What the fuck do you even do with them all day long? A baby would just hog Shay, and I'd be there on the outside, wondering
what the fuck happened to my life. Sure, Faye and Sin make it work, but they're different. I'm a different man than Sin is. I'd have to move out of the clubhouse, because that's not exactly a place you can raise a child for its entire life, and live the exact life I always said I never wanted. I'd be living a life I might grow to hate, or maybe I wouldn't, I won't know until it happens.
Maybe Shay was right in leaving. Maybe she knows, just as well as I do, that this child would be better off without me.
“He's not going after her,” I hear Faye tell Sin. “You need to make him. You're the president!”
“I can't make him do anything,” Sin replies, sounding exasperated with her.
“Then give him a male pep talk, you've been in this situation. Imagine if you'd treated me like this when you found out I was pregnant. I would've thrown it in your face for the rest of your life.”
“Well hopefully Shay is a more kind and forgiving woman than you are,” Sin says in a dry tone. “Their situation is different than ours, and I can't make Vinnie fix it, it's his decision.”
“The longer he waits the harder it's going to be to fix.”
“He only just heard she's pregnant, let the man digest it. You can't solve everyone's problems.”
“The hell I can't,” Faye mutters, and I can just imagine her giving Sin her narrow-eyed, stubborn look. “I love Vinnie, and I really like Shay. Vinnie's kid will be my niece or nephew. This affects us all.”
“Well us standing in front of him discussing it isn't really going to help now, is it?” Sin says. “You need to give him time. He's a man. He will do what he wants, when he wants, not because there's a stubborn-ass woman waiting at his door,
a woman who's not even his, talking about him where he can hear her.”
“Fine,” she says, then calls out, “Vinnie, if you don't go and get Shay right now, you're a dumb-ass. That's all I'm going to say about it. Men become fathers the second they hold their baby, women become mothers the second they become pregnant. Don't be a dick and realize too late what you're going to miss out on.” She squeals, then yells, “Sin, put me down! I'm not finished yet.”
I hear her yelling down the hallway.
Thank fuck he took her away.
Still, her words play in my mind.
The thing about Fayeâshe's usually right.
T
ALON
gets me settled in his house, then leaves and tells me someone will be dropping off groceries and lunch. He says he'll be back in the evening to take me out to dinner. So basically, I'm alone in a new house with nothing else to do but overthink my life and everything that's happened in the last few days, which is the last thing I want to do right now. I wish Colt was here. I put on the TV and try to distract myself. I'm watching
Supernatural
when there's a knock at the door. I open it, coming face-to-face with Ranger.
“Shayla,” he says, smiling, his hands full of bags.
“Hey, Ranger,” I say, opening the door wider for him. “Do you want some help?”
“Do I need any help from the knocked-up baby cousin of my president? No, thank you,” he teases, stepping inside and placing the bags on the kitchen counter.
“News travels fast, then,” I grumble, smiling when I see he brought some carrots, celery, and dip.
“Talon told only me,” Ranger explains, helping to unload
the food. “Probably 'cause I was being an asshole asking why you can't go to the damn store yourself.”
“I could've,” I say, opening the fridge to put the juice inside it. “But Talon said he'd sort it out.”
He mutters something unintelligible under his breath, then looks at the TV. “
Supernatural
, fuck yeah.”
He walks to the couch and makes himself comfortable. I peel and cut some carrots, put them on a plate with the dip, and bring it to the table.
“Thanks,” he says, scooping a big dollop onto his piece. I take in his features. Dark, thick hair tied at his nape. The beard he had is now gone, but I think he looks good either way, and he's tall. I mean really tall. He must be at least six foot five. He's just one giant winner-of-the-gene-pool biker. Oh, and he's also very intelligent, just like Talon. Three degrees under his belt, and I won't be surprised if he goes back for more. I remember he once said to me that knowledge is power, and he likes to keep his mind occupied.
“Did Talon tell you to babysit me too?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Nah,” he says, chewing thoughtfully. “Talon normally doesn't let me be around you for too long, but now you're knocked up and Wind Dragons' property, so I don't think he'll care if we hang out.”
“Property? Nice,” I say in a dry tone. “And I wonder why you're still single, Ranger?”
“I'm single because no woman has caught my eye yet.”
Talon once told me that Ranger is one of the most complicated men he's ever met. He's laid-back but can be intensely competitive. Usually he never takes anything personally, and nothing can offend him, but sometimes he loses his shit over the
most random things, and he can struggle with reading people's emotions. Like if you're sad, he probably won't pick up on that unless you tell him. He's an interesting guy.
“I know a girlâ” I start, but he cuts me off with a look.
“One of the crazy Wind Dragon women? No, thank you, I'm going to have to pass.”
The look on his face is priceless, almost like he'd rather be doing anything else.
“Hey now,” I say, getting a little defensive. “Those women are amazing. And I'm kind of one of them.”
Well, I
was
.
It hits me then that I might not be hanging with the women again, and it really sucks. I'll miss them all, especially Faye. I'll miss Rake and Tracker, and our gun practices; I'll miss Sin and his disapproving glares every time Colt does something bad; I'll miss Lanaâasking her all about her books and trying to figure out how her amazing mind works. I'll miss Anna and her self-defense lessons. Fuck. I'll miss everyone and everything about being a part of the Wind Dragon family. Most of all, I'll miss Vinnie.
I fell in love with him so quickly, so deeply, and to have to push him away now kills me like nothing else. I just don't see a positive outcome for this situation. There's no quick fix. He can't change who he is and what he wants in life, and if he tries, he'll probably end up resenting me and the baby. It's a disaster waiting to happen, but damn, am I going to miss him.
“Bailey's friend Tia isn't one of the Wind Dragon women,” I add, pushing away those thoughts. “She's just guilty by association. Bailey has told me stories and she sounds hilarious.” She also mentioned that Tia thinks Talon is hot.
“Tia?” Ranger asks, looking amused. He throws his head
back and laughs. “No, she definitely isn't a Wind Dragon chick, she's now sole property of the Wild Men.”
My brow furrows in confusion. “First, women aren't property, asshole, and second, what?”
“You didn't know about her and Talon?”
I open my mouth, then close it. Then, a big smile spreads on my face. “About time he settled down.”
I can't wait to hear that story.
“I told Talon he should've let you hang around us more. Maybe we could've kept a good one for ourselves,” he says, lifting his feet up on the coffee table.
I roll my eyes, resting my chin on my hand. “I feel like the Wild Men live a more bachelor lifestyle. I've never even met any of their old ladies. To be honest, I've only ever seen a few women there and I'm pretty sure they were groupies.”
Maybe things will change now that Tia and Talon are together.
“Groupies? That's a nice name for them.”
“I'm a nice person.”
“Exactly,” he says, studying me. “You are, and Talon didn't tell me why you're here and not with your man, but obviously something is going on. I know you're a Wind Dragon, but you'll always have a place here with us too.”
“I thought it didn't work like that,” I tease, my eyes gentling as the kind words pour from his mouth.
“Special circumstances,” he says, grinning. “You're Talon's family, which means you're ours. It's simple. Plus, you apparently have good taste in TV shows.”
I pick up a carrot and dip it. “And you apparently have good taste in snacks and dips.”
He chuckles and glances over at me before returning to the TV. “You'll be fine, Shayla. Whatever is it, whatever this asshole has done, you will be fine.”
“How do you know?” I ask him, resting my hand on my flat stomach. It won't be flat for much longer.
“Because you're strong,” he says simply, like it's a fact.
“You don't know me well enough to make that statement,” I say, arching my brow. “You probably only know what Talon has told you.”
“I know,” he states.
I look into his beautiful, captivating eyes and see that he believes what he's saying. “How long can you hang out?”
“I have nothing better to do today, if that's what you're asking. Why? Is that a hint to leave or to stay?”
“Well, I wouldn't be opposed to some company,” I say, shrugging. “It keeps my mind off things, and like you, I have nothing better to do today.”
“
Supernatural
marathon is it,” he says, stretching his arms above his head. “Let me guess, you're a Dean fan.”
“Naturally,” I say, smirking.
He stands up and says, “Want some ice cream?”
I nod.
Yeah, Ranger isn't a bad guy at all.
*Â Â *Â Â *
“Are you sure you're okay?” he calls through the door. “I'd love to hold your hair back, but the sounds you're making are making me want to gag too.”
I stand up from the toilet, feeling like utter shit, and Ranger is not helping. “I'm fine!”
I wash my face, brush my teeth again, and then sit on the bathtub, just in case I feel like throwing up again. After a few minutes of being okay, I leave the bathroom and sit back down in my chair.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I say, leaning my head back. “If this is what it's going to be like for the next few months, my life is going to be hell.”
And it was only my first time getting morning sickness. It wasn't even morning anymore, so that title is obviously false advertising.
“Eat some crackers or toast,” he advises, typing on his phone. “Let me search what you need to do to handle the nausea.”
He's researching for me? Now that is cute.
“Imagine going through all this while having another child to look after, or having to work or study as well. It would seriously suck.”
I have a new respect for Faye and other mothers all over the world. This stuff is no walk in the park, although I know it's going to be worth it, and I know that it's going to make me a stronger person.
“Whatever you do,” he murmurs, cringing. “Do
not
look up childbirth.”
Great, just great.
“Why are you looking at that? Getting a little far ahead there.”
“I just wanted to see what I'd have to do in case in eight months from now you went into labor at the clubhouse or something,” he says, eyes still on his phone. “But all I'll be doing is calling the motherfucking ambulance.”
“Ranger!” I growl. “You aren't helping right now.”
“They should show a childbirth video in high schools. Best contraception ever,” he continues, making me want to strangle him.
“You're getting off course now,” I say, yawning.
“Take a nap if you're tired,” he says, putting his phone away. “I'll stay here until Talon gets back. I don't think you should be alone right now.”