Until We Break (19 page)

Ev felt his breaking point fast approaching.

* * *

In the aftermath of the attack, the vice president of Morovia, Sterm Ganz—who had been sick with Morovian Flu as of late—ascended to the office of president. Unlike Joe Lambda, he took the opinion of General Haig and vowed to fight any and all gods who threatened their country. Ganz blamed both Zero Grade and the Academy for the attack, and made it perfectly clear there would be no more talk of peace. Exodus Squad would solve this problem once and for all, or die trying.

Carnaval had gotten exactly what they wanted. Whether anyone liked it or not, the war would continue until one side emerged victorious.

* * *

After the events in Dokiu, Ev, Maya and Bethos returned to the Academy where an emergency meeting was called. The faculty assembled in the conference room, which, tragically, was not as cramped now that several of their own had been killed.

“And now you know everything that happened,” Bethos said.

“No way,” Brandon said, dumbfounded.

“It can’t be,” Freya added. “The
Midgard
was lost with all hands following the destruction of the previous universe. We assumed they hadn’t been able to get to Gehenna in time.

“Well, obviously they did,” Atlas said.

“Was that really Commander Loki?” Freya said.

Bethos shrugged. “Set seemed to think so. I never met the guy, so I don’t know.”

A shocked Aphrodite replied, “How long do you think they were trapped in that dark void?”

“Long enough to lose their damn minds,” Bethos said sharply.

They looked to Dian Cecht, who nodded. “Prolonged exposure to such an environment would have a profoundly negative effect on the psyche. The crew of the
Midgard
could have easily gone insane if trapped there long enough.

“But we were there for a long time, and
we
didn’t go insane,” Freya said. “Didn’t they go into stasis like the rest of us?”

The Academy physician shrugged. “It is impossible to say. Perhaps their stasis pods failed at some point, forcing them to be conscious for a detrimentally long period of time. In any event, there is no denying what they have become. They are clearly broken, unstable and dangerous.”

“All that work,” Bethos said. “We were this close to peace, and those pooslickers came along and destroyed everything! They don’t even care; this is all just a game to them. Human, god, lives mean nothing to these people. They just want death and destruction for their own amusement.”

A sympathetic Freya said, “This must be very hard for you. Please understand that as a goddess of love, it’s my job to empathize with people.” Aphrodite nodded at this. She, too, understood. “You stuck your neck out to get all three sides to come together and talk things out, and in the end, several mortals lost their lives. I know that look in your eyes; I’ve seen it countless times. You blame yourself for what happened. You think if you had just done things differently, you would have succeeded. You can’t think like that. This Carnaval would have destroyed the peace talks no matter what you did. Even if you hadn’t stepped in, President Lambda would still have forged ahead and, most likely, would have gotten killed anyway. What matters now is how we respond to their challenge.”

“You mean the God Games,” Bethos said.

Brandon said, “If we don’t participate, they’ll come here and blow this place to hell along with everyone here. Seems to me we don’t have a choice. We have to send five representatives.”

“But who will we send?” Aphrodite said.

“Us, obviously,” Atlas said, puffing out his massive chest. “Hell, I’ll take them all down myself.”

But Bethos replied, “It’s not that simple. We can’t just send faculty members. Who will guard this place in case of an attack? Now, this is going to sound crazy, but I think we should send a group of students.”

“Crazy? Sounds damn foolish to me,” Atlas said. “You want to send students to battle full-fledged gods? I mean, yeah, I’m usually the first to sing these kids’ praises. But they
are
just kids.”

Bethos put up his hands in a reasoning gesture. “Now, just hear me out. I don’t think you’re giving them enough credit. Some of them have proven themselves capable of pulling off the impossible, and they’re pretty athletic to begin with.

“But more than that, these kids are the future. They’re the ones who will be responsible for protecting this world, so I think it’s only right they be the ones defend it now. We’re simply ghosts of the past, shepherding the next generation.”

The room became silent as they mulled it over. Finally, Freya said, “He might have a point. Our students are the best and brightest this world has to offer. If anyone can win the God Games and save the day, it’s them.”

“All right, all right,” Atlas said, clearly still annoyed. “Let’s say I believe you. Which students do we send? Not like it’s an easy decision.”

Freya gave a sly smile. “Easier than you might think.”

* * *

Ev sat alone on the couch in his dorm room in the dark. Jaysin had gone to the cafeteria for dinner after hearing the story of what happened in Dokiu. Ev, however, wasn’t hungry. Food just didn’t matter right now. It was a tiny afterthought, his hunger an insignificant nothing that wouldn’t even show up under microscope if it had physical form.

There was a knock at the door. He opened it to reveal Maya. “Hi,” she said casually.

“Hey,” he replied weakly. Normally he would have been excited to see her, but his situation now was far from normal.

“Can I come in?”

He gestured half-heartedly. “Sure.”

She entered the dorm, and he dropped listlessly back onto the couch. She fell in beside him. “How are you doing?”

Shrugging, he said, “For a while, I was doing all right. I was excited to have come out of the coma or whatever it was and see you again. Everything that happened on the plane and in Dokiu helped me take my mind off of things. In a sick way, even the attack on the church helped with that. It let me focus on something besides…” His voice trailed off. It was too painful to finish that thought.

She finished it for him. “Your mother’s death.” He gave her a sad, pitiful look. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, it’s all right,” he said. “
Someone
had to say it, and I just couldn’t. My mom… she’s gone. She’s gone and I couldn’t even say goodbye. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been natural causes. But it wasn’t. They…” The very thought was agonizing beyond belief, so his only option was to just blurt it out. “They killed her! My mother was murdered.” His voice cracked as what little control he had bled away. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t do a damn thing to save her!”

His composure shattered like a glass pitcher falling onto the hard floor. The tears came first, followed by intense sobbing. It shamed him for her to see him like this; men weren’t supposed to cry. But the immensity of his situation had come upon him, and there was no stopping it now. He needed to grieve, and he didn’t have a better way of doing it.

Maya put her arms around him and held him as he let it all out. She didn’t tell him everything would be OK, because none of them knew that. Instead, she said, “You’re not alone, Ev. I’m with you. Whatever you’re feeling, you can share with me. All your pain, your suffering, let me take some of that burden. Anni was so proud of you, and I know she would have been proud of the way you’ve marched on since her death. Never forget you’re only human underneath it all. Don’t be ashamed of that.”

When he regained some semblance of control, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom and wiped his salt-soaked face. “Thanks, Maya,” he said when he sat back down. “Without you, I never would have made it this far.  That’s probably because you understand me better than anyone. You’ve kept me in this world, and I’ll never forget that.”

She nodded. “We both had to watch our parents die. We know each other’s pain. I will
never, ever
abandon you, Ev Bannen. We’re in this until the end.”

He felt his soul fill with resolve once again, the kind of resolve he hadn’t experienced since his battle with Arcturus Reich. “Good to know, Maya Brünhart. Now, then, about the God Games…”

Chapter XV

That night Ev slept peacefully for the first time in weeks. He attributed it to his emotional release with Maya. There were vague specters in the background of his dream, but, overall, it didn’t bother him.

The next morning, he, Maya and Jaysin got called into Bethos’ office where Freya and Brandon were waiting for them.

Ev’s first sentence upon entering: “Is this about the God Games?”

“Indeed it is,” Bethos replied.

“Good,” Ev said. “Because we’ve been talking and—”

Jaysin interrupted him. “We want in, mate.” He and Ev exchanged looks. “Sorry, Ev. Got a little carried away.”

Bethos replied, “Not a problem. Yes, this is about the God Games. Tell them, Brandon.”

Brandon rolled his eyes. “I’m starting to think you brought us in here just to save your own breath.”

“Maybe,” Bethos said coyly.

Brandon ignored him and proceeded to the business at hand. “We’ve been talking it over, and the president agrees this battle should be fought by students since this is your world and we have no claim to it. We had our world and we destroyed it.”

“So who all’s going to be participating? That masked man said to choose five people,” Maya said.

Freya said, “The five of you have distinguished yourselves in several battles, so we think you’re the best team to send.”

“Five?” Maya said, confused.

Behind them, a sweet, energetic voice said, “Yes, five.” And in walked the last person they expected to see.

“CiCi!” Maya said happily. She ran over and embraced her best friend.

“It’s good to see you, too,” CiCi said. Although her tone was not quite as cheerful as it had been when she was hooked on Fruit Punch, she still seemed energetic and looked as if nothing had happened.

“Are you clean?” Maya asked her. The two hadn’t seen each other much lately, as Maya had been busy.

CiCi nodded. “Yep. It wasn’t easy, but I’m back. Doctor Cecht just cleared me to go on missions again.”

“That’s great,” Ev said. He, too, gave her a hug. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you while you were going through rehab.”

She didn’t seem bothered in the least. “That’s OK. You were going through something even worse than I was. I’m so sorry about your mother.”

“Thank you, CiCi. Your sympathy means a lot to me.”

“Not that anyone asked,” Jaysin said, “but I’m also glad to see ya, CiCi.”

She hugged him as well. “Thank you, Jaysin.”

Ev then said, “But that still only makes four of us. Who’s the final member of the team?”

“Me.”

“Daryn?” Ev said, stunned. Daryn Anders strode into the office with a lackadaisical attitude.

“Why are you here, mate?”

Daryn shrugged. “Apparently, we make a good team, an assertion I disagree with.”

“Now, now,” Brandon said. “You five
do
make a good team, when you’re on the same page. And we feel this is important enough that you can get on the same page for it.”

Freya added, “That’s right. Individually, you’re each exceptionally talented students with great physicality. Together, we believe you can become an unstoppable force and defeat Zero Grade in the God Games.”

Ev was far from convinced. “Why would you agree to be on the same team as us, Daryn? I’m pretty sure you hate us.”

“No, I hate Maya. You three, I simply dislike for being friends with her.”

“Isn’t it about time you got over it? Grudges are nasty business,” Jaysin said.

Rolling his eyes, the ginger replied, “Oh, I’m sorry. Does time erase past betrayals? No? That’s right, it doesn’t. Maya’s sins are still as fresh now as they were when she first committed them.”

Ev got right up in his face. “I’m so sick of you!”

Brandon stepped between them and pulled them apart. Ev wasn’t sure what would have happened if he hadn’t done that, but odds were it wouldn’t have been good. “That’s enough. We need you all to bury the hatchet, and getting into a brawl’s not going to accomplish that. Now, as far as I’m concerned, this is between Maya and Daryn, so let’s let them talk it out. Do you both agree to that?”

“Yes,” Maya said. Ev could see the pain in her eyes, the sorrow in her voice, and knew she carried a heavy heart. Hell, they all knew it. Well, everyone except for Daryn, that pig-headed bastard.

Daryn stood silent in contemplation. Finally, he said, “Fine. But I get to go first.”

“I insist,” Maya said.

The ginger took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts. Ev was glad for that; it meant Daryn wasn’t going to simply engage in some hateful tirade.

He then opened his eyes and stared her down. “When I first came to this school, I didn’t have any friends. Several months into my first semester, I still didn’t have any. My Ashbury Syndrome made it almost impossible to get along with people. I would occasionally explode at others, and nobody wanted to be around me.

“Eventually, though, I met Ev, and, of course, I exploded on him, too. But when that happened, I decided I was going to start taking responsibility for my actions. I apologized to him, and he took it well. Before I knew it, I had made friends with him, followed by Jaysin, CiCi and you. I couldn’t believe my luck; I was actually making friends! I sent an email to my father in the Tru Republic, telling him all about it. For once in my life, I was happy.

“But then came the trip to Stiftung. You three invited me to come to Victory Square, and I said yes. Of course, we ended up getting attacked by refghasts, but even that was exciting because I got to fight them as part of a team. In the midst of battle, I was actually having fun.

“Natually, that ended as soon as you put an arrow in me. I don’t know if I can even describe the emotional pain you put me through. It was as if it was all some cruel joke. I had finally achieved happiness, only to have
you
take it away from me.

“But you were just one person, right? I still had Ev, Jaysin and CiCi. They were my friends, and they still considered you a friend as well. They wanted to go save you, and even though I was against it, I went along with it. My friends were putting their lives on the line; how could I not risk
mine
for them?

“But throughout our struggles, I still wanted you to be punished for what you did. I was sure you would be as soon as we got back to the Academy. But all you got was a slap on the wrist. Bethos—sorry,
President
Bethos—gave into Ev and let you return to class as if nothing had happened. But the worst part, the thing that hurt me more than anything else, was that Ev, Jaysin and CiCi still considered you a friend and defended you to everyone who would attack your good name.

“So, without even realizing it, I came to a decision. I would dump you four and go back to the way things were before I had friends. That way, I could never be hurt again. Loneliness is a hell of a lot better than getting shot by a so-called friend.

“Well, I think that about covers it. Now you know why I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Now it was Maya’s turn to compose her thoughts. She took a deep breath and then exhaled. When she opened her eyes, she was ready to answer him. “Daryn, I’m so sorry for what I put you through. I had no idea of the difficulties you’ve faced at this school. Please understand, I didn’t betray you because I wanted to. I was terrified of what Belial would do to me if I disobeyed him. I know that’s no excuse, and it doesn’t make things right, but if I hadn’t done it, Belial would have just killed you all and been done with it. What would you have done?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“Please answer the question,” Maya said.

“I,” he said, his voice trailing off. Finally, he said, “I don’t know. Honestly, up until now, I only thought about what Maya Brünhart
shouldn’t
have done. She
shouldn’t
have shot me with that arrow; she
shouldn’t
have gone off with Belial and helped him summon the Tower of Babel. I hate to say it, but thinking about it now, if it was me, I probably would have stood up to him and gotten myself killed. He was a lot stronger than me; hell, he was a full-fledged god. I guess… I don’t have all the answers I thought I did.”

“Well,” Freya said, “Daryn, do you think you might have been wrong about Maya?”

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s a hard thing to admit, even to yourself. I was so sure I hated her and those who stood by her, but maybe I was just being petty. Maybe I just wanted to make sure that by pushing everyone away no one would ever hurt me again.

“But I’m not apologizing. I still think Maya could have found a better way to handle that situation.”

“Fair enough,” Bethos said. “At least now, we understand one another. Are you five ready to be a team?”

Daryn was the first to reply. “Yes. I’m willing to work with them.”

“As am I,” Maya said, locking eyes with him. They exchanged a look of understanding and a grudging camaraderie.