Until There Was You (17 page)

“A
LL RIGHT
. M
Y
assistant will call you when it’s all drawn up.” Allan Linkletter stood up, offered his hand. Liam shook it, but when it seemed time to let go, Allan hung on a little longer, his grip tightening. “So. Funny that we’re on the same baseball team, isn’t it?”

“I guess,” Liam said. Allan still hadn’t let go of his hand.

“You met my wife at Rosebud’s afterward. I didn’t realize you slept with her in high school.”

Well, shit. What was the appropriate response here? “Um…who’s your wife?”

“Taylor Bennington?”

Liam tried not to wince. He
definitely
remembered Taylor from the old days. Funny, she hadn’t mentioned she was married the other night. “Taylor Bennington. Right.” Should he smile? Congratulate Allan on getting her to the altar? Taylor had been quite…talented, as he recalled. A little scary, but talented.

“It was her first time, she said.” Allan’s grip tightened.

A memory of Taylor unbuckling Liam’s belt—with her teeth—flashed to mind. First time, huh? Somehow, he doubted that. “You sure you want to be my lawyer, Allan?”

The other man shrugged and finally released his hand. “The past is the past. As long as it really is the past, because if the past becomes the present, the future won’t look too good for you.”

The speech reminded Liam of an English class on tense, but he had to give the guy credit for putting it out there. Allan was around five foot six, and it didn’t look like he spent much time in the gym. As if reading Liam’s thoughts, the shorter man said, “I know people.” Then, realizing that a lawyer in New Hampshire wasn’t quite as mobbed up as he’d like to be, he added, “Okay, I don’t know anybody. But I love my wife.”

“I’m not looking for a girlfriend. Or anything.” Especially one who was married, no matter what she used to do with her teeth.

“Great!” Allan said. He smiled, punched Liam on the shoulder and walked him to the door. “I’m definitely interested in that bike, so I’ll drop by this week.”

“Cool.” Apparently Liam’s past with Allan’s wife didn’t prevent the lawyer from wanting a custom-made bike to celebrate middle age.

Liam went to the bank of elevators and pushed the button and sighed.

At least that was done. Last will and testament, updated to include the value of the garage, plus another hefty life-insurance package. Advance directives, updated. Guardianship…well, it had always been the Tates. The only other option would be a stepmother, and Liam didn’t see that happening.

About a year after Emma’s death, he’d had an uneventful relationship with a nice enough woman—Paige, who owned the florist shop down the street from the garage where Liam worked. Uneventful was just what Liam was looking for—they’d had dinner once or twice a month, had sex afterward. It was fine. Emma had been the only one since senior year of high school, and being with someone else…all those differences, the feel of her hair, the way she smelled, the way they fit…it was a little weird. The sex was nice…it was sex, how could it not be nice? It just wasn’t…special.

They broke up amicably enough when Paige told him she was looking for a little more, and Liam couldn’t blame her. She was young, wanted a family…normal enough stuff. It’s just that he couldn’t do that. No hard feelings.

The doors to the elevator opened, and Liam went in. His own elevator was bad enough; the lawyer’s office was on the twenty-third floor, and it was an older building. The ride up had been painfully slow. Swallowing, Liam pressed the button for the lobby and waited. Some sappy song by Neil Diamond, made worse by the Muzak-ization of it. Oh, right, this was the one they played at the Sox game he’d dragged Nicole to last weekend to get her to start speaking to him again.

Suddenly the elevator gave a lurch, and Liam’s hands flew out to the walls. Shit! But the elevator continued on, though Liam thought he detected a lower note to the gears. Did he? Or was that just paranoia? After all, how many elevator cables snapped these days? Not a lot. You hardly ever heard about that kind of accident.

Still, his heart had that uncomfortable flopping feeling, and his chest was tight. He tried to breathe slowly.
Calm down, idiot,
he told himself.
You’re fine. This is no time for a panic attack. Breathe in, hold it, breathe out, stop sucking in air, you’re going to hyperventilate.
He knew the drill. And he had to get past these…events. Not cool to wig out when you were the only parent left.

Maybe he should get off and take the stairs, even if they were only at the eighteenth floor. Better than staying in this casket-waiting-to-happen. Liam swallowed thickly.

The elevator stopped, the doors opened and there stood Cordelia Osterhagen, looking at her phone. She took a step forward, then saw him and stopped. “Oh. Hi,” she said.

“Hi.” The doors pinged. “Getting on?” Liam asked, holding his hand on the door so it couldn’t close. His chest was tight still, but he wasn’t hyperventilating. Not yet, anyway.

“Yeah.” She stuffed her phone in her jeans pocket and came aboard. She wore sturdy-looking jeans and several layers of flannel, that lush mouth of hers the only feminine thing on her. Well, that and the hint of breast coming from under the layers of flannel. Was she humming?

The elevator started moving again. Crap. He’d missed his chance to get off. “You know this song?” he asked, wiping his forehead with his sleeve.

“Everyone knows this song. It’s my favorite song, as a matter of fact, so if you’re gonna make fun of it, don’t.”

“Neil Diamond. Huh.”

She gave him an evil look and hummed more loudly.

See, you can do this,
his brain told him in a confident voice.
You’ve hardly thought at all about the cable snapping, haven’t pictured Nicole sobbing over your casket and then going to live with Tates, who really couldn’t be happier at getting their grandchild all to themselves and turning her into a—

A grinding shudder ripped through the elevator, which screeched, then slammed to a stop.
Shit!
It was happening.

Then the lights went out.

“Oh, bieber,” Cordelia said.

Liam tried to breathe in. Didn’t seem to be working.

Okay, okay, just because he’d pictured this exact moment…nope, couldn’t happen. The cable had not snapped. Not yet, anyway. But the air was definitely being used up.

“Well, this is not good,” Cordelia said. “I have an appointment in twenty minutes.”

“Don’t talk,” Liam choked out. Because that would use air. And if there were no lights, then there was no air in the ventilation system—
Don’t take me away from my baby
—and they’d suffocate up here in the pitch black. Already his lungs were desperate for air, heaving in his chest. His legs were suddenly weak, and he leaned back against the wall, the inky blackness smothering. What about Cordelia? Was she suffocating, too? “Cordelia? You okay?”

“Of course I’m okay. Hang on.” He heard her clothes rustle. Then a light came on. Fantastic. She was the type who carried a keychain flashlight. Good girl. It didn’t alleviate the oxygen problem, but at least he wouldn’t die in the dark.

She shined the little beam onto the panel. “Think I should push the emergency button?” she asked.

“Yes! What are you waiting for?” he croaked, sucking in what felt like the last of the air.

“Chill, Liam. We’re only stuck. It’s not like the cable’s about to snap or something.”

Why would she say that? Was she psychic? Why would she mention the cable snapping? Was it a premonition? The elevator shuddered again, and Liam’s legs gave out. He sank to the floor.

“You don’t look so good,” Posey said, aiming her light at his face. It seared his retinas, and he closed his eyes and held up his hand. “Liam? You’re white as a ghost.”

“Push the damn button,” he ground out, pulling in another breath. His chest felt like it was in a vise, and he couldn’t inhale deeply enough to get sufficient air. A rasping sound came from his throat.

“Holy Elvis! Are you okay?”

“The button, Cordelia, the button!” Finally, she pushed the thing. A bell rang, then went silent. Not reassuring. Not one bit. Cordelia dropped to her knees beside him. “Liam?” she asked, shining that stupid light into his face yet again. Her eyes widened in horror. “You’re all clammy! Does your chest hurt? It does, doesn’t it?”

It did. And apparently he was rubbing it with one fist. She grabbed his wrist and gripped it, the flashlight clattering to the floor. “No, no, no,” she muttered, yanking her phone from her pocket. “Hello? We’re stuck in the elevator in the Mirren Building, and I think a man’s having a heart attack! I can’t tell… No, he’s down…and I— Okay, okay!”

“It’s not…” But what if it was a heart attack and not simple, choking panic? The vise on his chest clamped down harder. “Cordelia, I—”

“Don’t worry, I’m here.” She shoved him to the floor with surprising strength, thunking his head against the floor, and if he’d had the air, he would’ve told her to knock it the hell off, but—

“Oh, please, don’t die, don’t die,” Cordelia chanted, ripping open his shirt. She put her ear against his chest. “Bieber! I can’t hear anything, he’s gasping! I think he’s dying!” Her phone clattered to the floor, and she was suddenly straddling him, her knees pinning his arms.

“Cordelia,” he managed, and— Oof! What little oxygen remained in Liam’s chest was suddenly pushed out as Cordelia began pushing on him.
Hard.
“Cord— Oof!” Crap! That hurt!

“Hang in there, Liam! Think of Nicole! Hey! 911 people! I dropped the phone, hurry up, hurry up!” She pushed down again, and a searing pain lanced through Liam’s right side.

“Stop,” he grunted. She was killing him.

The elevator lurched, then rumbled, then began descending again. “Thank you, God!” Cordelia said, giving him another compression. The pain in his side flashed light behind his eyes, and Liam managed to wrench his arm free grab and her wrist. “Stop fighting, Liam!” she said, wrestling with him. “Help is on the way!” Another chest compression, another white-hot pain down his side.

Then the doors opened, Cordelia barked, “He’s having a heart attack!” and the paramedics descended.

“N
O SIGN OF A HEART
attack,” the doctor said. “Looks like you just cracked a rib.”

That’s right,
Posey thought.
Rub it in.

“
I
didn’t crack a rib,” Liam said, his words running together. “She did. She broke me.”

“It
looked
like a heart attack,” Posey snapped. “Go back to sleep.”

He’d dropped right off after the first shot of painkiller. Men. Such wimps.
She’d
broken two fingers last year trying to move a fountain with Mac, wrapped them with electrical tape and got back to work. “It
wasn’t
a heart attack.” He sounded like a grumpy toddler.

“I know, Liam! But if it had been, maybe I would’ve saved your life, okay?” She turned to the doctor for some female solidarity. “He was clammy, rubbing his chest, couldn’t breathe. Err on the side of caution, I figured.”

“Panic attacks can look a lot like cardiac issues, you’re right,” the obviously brilliant woman said.

“See?” Posey said, looking at Liam. His eyes seemed to be moving in opposite directions.

“You broke me.”

“Oh, sac up and stop whining.”

“Some nurse you make. Why don’t you just stab me?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Are you two married?” the doctor asked.

“No!” they snapped in unison.

“Okay,” she said, holding up her hands in surrender. “Well, Mr. Murphy, we have a consult coming in, and then you’ll be able to go home, okay? Just rest for now.” She looked at Posey. “He’ll need someone to drive him, obviously.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Posey said.

“You should,” Liam said. “You should do a lot more than drive me. You should be my servant.”

“Oh, for the love of Elvis,” she muttered.

“Here are the follow-up instructions,” the doctor said. “Call his primary physician if you have any questions. You’re free to leave after the consultation, okay? Good luck.”

Posey glanced at the sheet, which advised limited activity until he felt better (which she guessed would be never, based on the total wimp he’d been thus far). There was more information on panic attacks than cracked ribs.

A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that develops for no apparent reason and triggers severe physical reactions. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, patients may think they’re having a heart attack or even dying.

“Exactly,” she murmured. Still, she did feel a tiny bit guilty. Okay, a
lot
guilty. Liam had tried to tell her that’s what it was, she could see that now, but being too busy breaking his bones, she hadn’t put two and two together. So much for her seventh-grade CPR class.

But if he’d known it was a panic attack, one could assume he’d had them before.

She glanced over at the patient, who was asleep once more, his head turned slightly to one side. He needed a shave. His hair looked even blacker against the white pillow. Her eyes lingered on his mouth. Hard to believe she’d actually straddled him in the elevator and ripped open his shirt. Too bad she hadn’t enjoyed it more.

Great. She was getting turned on. Apparently CPR was quite the aphrodisiac. Trapped in an elevator with Liam Murphy—it hadn’t exactly been the stuff of erotic fiction, had it? A man clammy with panic, trying to fight off the woman who was cracking his ribs. So, he was claustrophobic, she guessed. Or was afraid of elevators. Or both. Maybe it had something to do with Emma’s death.

The poor guy.

Posey stood up and went to Liam’s side, pulled the blanket a little higher on his chest. He had a tattoo on his shoulder (of course he did, it was required by the Bad Boy Book of Beauty)…a Celtic knot of some kind. Strong, manly, blue-collar hands.

Liam’s eyes opened. “You broke me,” he murmured.

“So, why are you having panic attacks?” she asked gently.

“Mr. Murphy? I’m Brenda Lutz, the social worker on duty.” A stout, gray-haired woman came into the room. “Just wanted to check on how you’re doing.” She looked at Posey. “Hello. Are you the wife?”

“No, just a friend. I’ll step out for a few, how’s that?”

“Stay,” Liam muttered.

“He’s pretty out of it,” Posey explained. “They gave him some painkillers for his rib.”

“Which she broke,” he added, eyes closed.

“Cracked.”

“I see.” The woman turned to Liam and raised her voice, as if he were deaf, not drugged. “Okay, Mr. Murphy, well, the main thing is that even if it feels like you’re dying, even if you can’t breathe or it feels like your heart is going to stop, chances are it’s not. Okay?”

“Okay,” he murmured.

“Panic attacks and anxiety syndrome are very serious problems, Mr. Murphy. They can be very distressing. Sometimes even debilitating. Terrifying. Many times they go away, but some people never stop having them. They can’t work, can’t sleep, can’t eat, they get no joy out of life—”

“Hey, thanks for the pep talk,” Posey said. “He’s had a little stress lately, but he’ll be fine. Thanks. He’ll call if he needs you.”

The social worker took a breath, frowned. “Fine. I’ll leave my card, in case he wants to se me privately.”

“I’ll make sure he has it.”
Nice job, lady. In case he wasn’t freaked enough.

“Thanks for ditching her,” Liam murmured.

“Okay, big boy. Let me get you home. Come on. Put on your shirt.”

He sighed and sat up (groaning, of course, just in case she forgot who broke him), then pulled off the johnny coat, and Posey stopped feeling her legs. Irritation? What irritation?
Mommy.
Body like a Greek god, this guy, complete with washboard abs and thickly muscled arms…?. Jeans were still on, alas—apparently ruling out a heart attack didn’t require a complete strip-down. Pity. She handed him his shirt.

“What’s wrong with these buttons?” he asked, looking down.

“They’re…missing. Come on, you look great.”

An orderly wheeled Liam to the exit (the wheelchair did not staunch the guilt, either) and told Posey he’d wait while she got the truck. Shilo was sprawled across the front seat, sound asleep. “Sorry, pal,” she said, hefting up his front half so she could get in. Starting the truck, she sighed. This had not been a good day. Gretchen had felt the need to cook last night—not a bad thing, but she’d decided to film herself, narrating what she was doing as if she were filming an episode of
The Barefoot Fraulein.
Part of this apparently involved some weird new-agey music that made Shilo whine and tremble, which made Jellybean and Sagwa growl, which made Meatball hiss…so all in all, not restful.

This morning, she’d had a panicked call from the owner of the barn in Chelmsford—the historic district had decided at the last second to be interested, and the owner needed Posey to give a statement to his lawyer, which was why she was at the Mirren Building in the first place.

Then she’d broken God’s Gift, which, despite her intentions of saving his life, was not a happy feeling.

Well. Time to get the poor lad home. She pulled up to the entrance of the ER, and the orderly helped Liam in. Shilo, accustomed to riding (or sleeping) shotgun, whined from the truck’s small backseat.

Liam fell asleep yet again on the way home. His hand was just inches from her thigh…that nice, masculine hand. Dante’s hands had been soft—softer than hers, that was for sure. Dante was a good-looking man, that was certain—but it was a polished, put-together attraction, rather than the raw appeal Liam possessed. She glanced at him again. Sooty lashes. Ridiculous. He was much prettier than she was.

“Stop staring,” Liam muttered, not opening his eyes, and Posey jerked her attention back to the road.

When they reached his place, she got out and opened Liam’s door. “Time for bed, tough guy,” she said, and he got out carefully. He stood there a minute, not quite steadily, and she slid her arm around his waist—his lean, warm waist.

“You doing okay?” she asked, trying not to think dirty thoughts.

“Mmm-hmm,” he said, leaning into her, and those dirty thoughts surged. Even through her layers of flannel, she could feel the heat of his skin. Glancing down, she saw that beautiful torso again. Perfection. Utter masculine perfection. Except for the rib she’d cracked.

“Back in a few, Shilo,” she said, her voice a bit unsteady. Shilo gave a snore in response. Liam seemed to be getting heavier as they rode up in the elevator. “Your hair smells pretty,” he said, and her girl parts gave a warm squeeze.

Mrs. Antonelli’s door remained mercifully closed, though Posey could well imagine her on the other side, watching through the peephole. “Got the keys, Liam?”

“In my pocket,” he said. His eyes were closed.

Feeling quite perverted, she reached into his pocket.
Do not cop a feel,
she warned herself. It was difficult to avoid, but she tried. She unlocked the door. Déjà vu all over again, except this time, Liam was the one who was, er, incapacitated. She steered him down the same hallway he had carried her a few weeks ago, into a different room this time. His room.

The bed was covered with a dark brown comforter, very manly, and you could tell it was a guy’s room because it lacked all those touches a wife would’ve given it. On the night table was a photo of Nicole, a gorgeous black-and-white shot of her on a swing. Another black-and-white photo of Nicole on the beach sat on top of the dresser. Aside from that, the room was pretty stark.

Liam pulled back the covers and collapsed on the bed with a groan. Posey pulled off his shoes and covered him up. She was tucking in Liam Murphy, the stuff of many a teenage fantasy. Maybe she’d go home and write about it in her Hello Kitty diary, then watch Luke Perry movies…or she could remember that she was thirty-three years old and wise up.

“Can I get you anything?” she asked. “Want me to call your daughter or leave her a note or something?” She paused. “Or I could stay and tell her when she gets home.”

“You can go. But don’t tell Nicole.”

“Tell her you cracked a rib? Because I think she’ll be able to see that you’re uncomfortable, Liam. Since you’re such a baby and all.”

He smiled faintly, not opening his eyes. “I’ll tell her about the rib. Maybe. Just not the panic stuff.”

“Have you always been scared of elevators? My brother’s afraid of cats.”

“I’m not scared of elevators,” he said, eyes still closed. “I’m scared I’ll die and she’ll be all alone.”

The words caught her heart by surprise. Posey opened her mouth, closed it, then tried again. “You won’t die, Liam. I mean, you will, of course, we all will…but not for a long time.”

“Except I almost did. I laid down my bike last fall.”

“You… Does that mean you were in an accident?” He nodded. “Were you okay?”

Liam finally looked at her, his eyes bleary. “Yeah. But it was close, you know. The cop said he expected a… What’s that word? When people die?”

“A fatality?”

“Yeah. ’Cause my bike was all…you know. Wrecked.”

“What happened?”

His eyelids were apparently too heavy to keep open. “I was on the freeway. Some guy in a Porsche tried to…” His hand flopped. “You know.”

“Pass?”

“Yeah. That’s it. Pass. And next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground in the breakdown lane, and my bike was all—” he made a twisting motion with his hands “—crushed. But I got…” Another hand gesture.

“Thrown?”

“Yep.”

“Were you wearing a helmet?” she asked.

“I’d be dead without a helmet,” he murmured. “Even so, concussion and stuff. But I’m not gonna tell you that, because I’m not telling anybody about that.”

Posey bit her lip. “Okay. I won’t know about it then.”

“Good. Because it’s a secret.”

Or it would be without the truth serum that had apparently been administered along with the painkillers. He shifted and winced a little.

Crikey. Imagine being in a near-fatal accident and not telling anyone. Maybe—just maybe—he didn’t have anyone to tell.

That thought sat in Posey’s brain for a beat or two, throbbing. Imagine living with the fear that if anything happened to you, your child would have no one. He’d said that’s why they’d moved back to New Hampshire…to be closer to Nicole’s grandparents. He just hadn’t said, “in case I die.”

There was a strange ache in Posey’s chest.

“Can you get me a pillow?” the patient asked.

“There are two right next to you.”

“You have to be nice. You broke me.”

“I’m very nice, Liam, and I didn’t break you, I cracked you. Just one bone, too, so let’s not exaggerate. You have two hundred and five other bones that are perfectly fine.” Nevertheless, she walked over to the other side of the bed and got a pillow.

“Oh, so now you’re a doctor? How come you didn’t know I wasn’t having a heart attack, then?”

“Shush. Here’s the pillow, Princess Precious.”

“Can you tuck it under my rib? The one you broke?”

She sighed loudly and pulled the covers down—there was that beautiful, rippling torso again, hello, gorgeous—and leaned over him, as there really was no avoiding it. Tucked the pillow against his side, trying to channel an angel of mercy and not a lustful reprobate.

“How’s that?” she asked.

Apparently it was pretty good, because his hands were in her hair, and he pulled her face down to his, and he was kissing her—Liam Murphy was kissing her!—and it was so shocking and so warm and so utterly… His lips moved against hers, deepening the kiss. It was like being filled with light and heat and a melting weakness, oh, Elvis, it was amazing. Her hands were on his chest, his bare skin warm and perfect and so… God…it was so…so…

Over. It was over. Lips no longer on hers, hands no longer in hair.

Posey pulled back a little. His eyes were closed, lashes a dark smudge on his cheeks. “Liam?” she whispered.

There was a little smile on his mouth—the mouth that had been kissing hers. Otherwise, he was incommunicado. “Liam?” she said again, more loudly this time.