Until Next Time (20 page)

“I can’t change, Quinn. It doesn’t work like that. Which is why w
e
won’t work. Truly, I knew it from Day One…” Her voice trailed off.

He inched closed, her ever-present floral scent curling around him, making his fingers itch. “Did you, now? How?”

“Like I said, you’re like a Hallmark card. Also saying the right things, asking the right questions…even from that very first day. You make me think—”

“And thinking’s a bad thing?”

She shook her head. “No. Yes…”

“Tell me why.”

Her lashes fluttered, her cheeks growing pink.

“Please, Piper. I need to know so I can fix it.”

Her eyes drifted up, locking in on him. The pain in her gaze was evident. God, he wanted to make her forgot how much she hurt. “Because you make me feel…and feeling is dangerous.”

“Because feeling leads to loving, which leads to pain?”

She nodded, not breaking her stare. “I can’t risk that. Not with you.”

Dropping one hand, he cupped around her back, arching her to him. “It’s not my intention to cause you pain, Piper. Ever. I promised not to love you and I know you’ll never love me. We should spend our time enjoying each other and not worrying about future.” Because he knew better than anyone that the future was uncertain. They had to live each moment to the fullest. “Do you trust me enough for us to try this?” His fingers danced across her cheek, sweeping tendrils back from her face.

Her eyes closed. “Yes. But I don’t trust myself.”

“Let me help you.” His head dipped and swept across her pink lips. A little whimper escaped them.

“Sweet chocolate,” she whispered. “I need you and I think—”

“You don’t need to think right now,” he murmured, drawing her even closer, his tongue sweeping across her lower lip. God, she was magnificent, instantly pressing her breasts against his chest. A sharp bolt of desire tumbled through him.

Her hand clutched his shoulder, her fingers biting into his skin even through the fabric of his white tee. And even as she melted beneath his touch, folded around him like the perfect cloak, she tried to push away.

“Don’t, Piper.” He held her tighter. “Please, don’t.”

A heavy sigh rolled out of her as she pressed her face against his. “Sweet mercy,” she breathed. “What have you done to me?” Her soft voice tickled his ear, but her words held a hint of old wounds.

He nibbled her bottom lip. “I won’t hurt you, Piper.”

There was something that kept her emotions at bay, something that was pushing her away. Hell, he understood that. He’d lived with a woman he’d loved and lost. He knew what it was to suffer like that. But he also knew if he could overcome that, Piper could overcome whatever was stopping her from giving herself to him—fully. Completely. Because suddenly, Quinn didn’t only want Piper in his bed, he wanted her in his heart. He needed her love.

And now, more than anything, he needed Piper in way he couldn’t put into words.

“I want you.” Trailing kisses down her neck, across her collarbone, he bent, pushing up the hem of her skirt. “May I?”

Her knees wobbled as he stroked the skin along her inner thigh.

“Piper?”

Her head rolled back. “Yes.”

Thank God.
In one swift motion, he had Piper’s panties tossed away. Needing to taste every inch of her, he started at her ankle. A quick kiss, a lick, and traces of circles with his fingers, he moved up to her calf. Then her knee. When she slid down the wall, he took hold of her hips, holding her steady. He spent more time on her thighs, making sure to taste each spot—twice—before moving to her cinnamon curls. One last place to taste…

“Oh, Qui—”

His mouth covered her. Heaven. Piper’s sweetness filled his mouth, overwhelming his senses. His own erection was being strangled beneath his jeans, and his flight suit was still tied around his waist. His tongue darted out, wanting to savor, wanting to feast.

Piper bowed back, opening her legs for him even more. Her hand dug into his hair, tugging as she moaned for him. The sting of pain on his scalp made his groin twitch and his mouth devour her even more. This was what he needed: to know she wanted him. That he could make her feel. And that she felt good with him. It might not be love, but it was a hell of a start.

Continuing his assault of her luscious folds, one hand fell from her waist. He tugged the knot from his flight suit and unsnapped his jeans before bringing his hand to join his mouth. One finger dipped inside as he stroked over her nub. She cried out, eliciting a groan from him. Two fingers dove into her wet depths, and her body reared back against the wall.

“Holy mother of—oh!.” Her voice was hoarse, needy.

And his control was at the end. He suckled her, keeping constant pressure against her hot button as his two fingers rubbed inside in the perfect come hither motion.

Good God, her taste was intoxicating, rushing through him like a wild river. His erection throbbed, aching to be inside her. A powerful urged rippled through him, nearly knocking him off his knees when he realized how badly he wanted to claim her to be his. To suddenly hear the words she’d claimed she would never say…or feel.

She was building, cresting around him and he felt the tremors overtake her, burning up his insides even more.

“Quinn!”

Then she erupted, her keening mingling with the scream of his name. Before she could collapse to the floor, he rose, lifting her quickly into his arms. Spinning about, he realized he would never make it to the bedroom and the couch was far too small. His gaze flicked to the rickety kitchen table.

Bingo.

In two seconds flat he had her sprawled out on the top, her body still quaking from her orgasm. With quick movements, he plucked a condom from his pocket and slid it on before letting his jeans drop to the floor. Gripping her hips, he spread her legs wide and yanked her body against his. The thickness of his shaft bobbed atop her glistening curls. He bent over her, pushing her shirt up with his teeth. His hands yanked down her bra and her breasts bounced out, the peaked nipples screaming to be suckled. And so he did. Furiously.

As he continued to kiss and lick the roughened, tight points, Piper’s moans remained constant as she ground against him. In one hasty move, he rolled his hips back and slammed into her.

Her back came off the table and she cried out, locking her eyes on him. He was a goner. He pulled back and rammed into her again, bumping a spot inside of Piper that made her eyes go wide and her mouth drop into the perfect “o” shape. She was scorching and wet and oh-so-ready for him. Just like he needed.

“More,” she crooned. “Now.”

He obliged with rapid, continuous strokes, banging their bodies together. Piper’s breasts sprang to and fro and her body clenched around him with need. The table cracked beneath her each time their bodies met. But Quinn didn’t worry. This would be worth it. To see Piper’s eyes roll back with pleasure. The slickening of her beautiful skin. To watch her arms splay out and try to clutch anything she could reach. She was overcome with his movement, each stroke, each whine that escaped her lips. And with each slide in and out, Quinn could swear he was growing harder, larger. Piper did that to him. She made his body throb and tingle with something strange he felt in the pit of his gut. Something he’d never felt before. And he loved it. Loved the way her body opened up for him. Loved the way her voice echoed through the room when she cried out.

Hell, he just loved
her
.

But this was different than he remembered. Deeper, stronger, and the tightening in his chest from this feeling was enough to bring him to his knees. He slammed into her harder: once, twice, three times until Piper was shuddering from head to toe. With a muted curse, Quinn accelerated his strokes, unable to contain the revelation from his thoughts, and allowed his body to consume her, as she had consumed him—only Piper had consumed his body and heart.

With a final push, Quinn detonated from the inside out, tremors ricocheting through each limb, tearing through his muscles, leaving a trail of precious tingles in their wake.

After gathering his thoughts and breath, he leaned over, still buried to the hilt, but careful to not put any extra weight on the table. “You are breathtaking, Piper. Simply breathtaking.”

Her eyes fluttered open, and her lips parted into a satisfied smile. “I think this beats the couch any day.”

He grinned quickly. “Yes. But can I suggest the bed before the table snaps? It’s not you, baby, but this thing is, like, a hundred years old.”

Her laugh was infectious. “To the bed it is. As soon as I can walk.”

Quinn stepped back, instantly missing the heat of her depths when he slid out of her. “No need to walk.”

In a flash he had her cradled against his chest, her arms draped around him, her head nestled in the crook of his neck. This was perfection at its best. He realized then that he’d never want to be with anyone else, he’d never want to be anywhere else, and he would surely crumble to ash if this woman walked out his life. From this moment on, he would make sure that would never happen. Even if Piper didn’t want or need his love, he still needed her.

His love wasn’t selfish and neither was his undying need to keep Piper safe and warm in his home, in his bed, in his heart. He understood she wouldn’t accept anything from him, too scared that he could be ripped from her arms, but in time, maybe Quinn could make her see how their love could be.

Chapter Sixteen

Darkness surrounded her, save a streetlamp that filtered a dim yellow glow through the slats of the blinds. Piper tucked herself tighter into Quinn’s body, wondering how she’d ended up like this. The question she’d asked him replayed over and over in her mind:
What have you done to me?

The answer was fairly simple; he’d changed her—completely. He’d made her care, want, need something she didn’t deserve, something she didn’t want. That was the problem.

He wasn’t letting her run, wasn’t letting her hide. He was making her face all of her fears head-on. It terrified her. She was right to believe that her mother and father had been selfish by giving birth to her, by loving her endlessly, only to leave her. And Steven, too. He’d been selfish for giving himself to her at such a young age, making her heart flutter with love, only to leave her as well. And Piper herself had been selfish to love each and every person who had loved her. A mistake she vowed never to make again. But with Quinn’s heat so close, his breath a soothing lull to her senses, Piper wondered if she’d been missing something she never knew existed.

Had she blinded herself?

Maybe for a moment she could take those blinders off and see.

Quinn stirred next to her, length of his body pressing tighter against her back, his fingers stroking her bare stomach.

“Hey.” His voice was deep, rumbling through the air like a caress.

“Hey. What time is it?”

The bed dipped as he moved to see the clock. “A little after ten.”

“I should get going.”

His lips found her shoulder. “Stay.”

“Tomorrow is Monday, and I have to work. You have to work. We have to get up early and all that.”

His lips swept across her back before nibbling on the base of her neck. “Stay.”

“I don’t have any clothes here. And what if I get a call in the middle of the night?”

The bed dipped again. Quinn flipped Piper on her back and positioned himself over her. He took her lips in a quick, seeking kiss. His thighs settled between hers. His heat pressed her down into the mattress.

“Stay,” his whispered against her lips.

His erection rubbed against her, and a whimper escaped her. “That’s not fair.”

“I never said I played fair.”

She tested his willpower and rotated her hips, sliding her lower half against him. When he groaned, she went further, sinking her hands between them and taking his length in her grip. She gave a tight squeeze and a tug.

“Piper.”

“Fair is fair.” She stroked him again, adjusting her firm grip to provoke him further. He lifted his hips slightly, giving her more room to work her magic. She alternated between soft and firm, quick and slow.

Quinn’s head fell to her shoulder. “God, Piper.”

What have you done to me, Quinn?

His head rose, their eyes locked, and for a brief moment, everything stood still. Piper didn’t even hitch a breath. Quinn’s gaze, full of desire under the ghostly light, made him look vulnerable yet hungry. With his eyes still honed on her, he rocked back, easing his length into her at a maddening pace. She couldn’t help but close her eyes from the feeling of him filling her with everything she’d never wanted.

“Open your eyes, Piper. I need to see you.”

She obeyed. There was something between them, something heavy and soothing at the same time. As he began to move inside her, Piper felt a pulling deep in her chest and a burn in the back of her mind as Quinn kept his focus on her. Only on her. It was as if he wanted to speak, but he could only blink his eyes and clench his body around her, staking his claim. She felt a need radiate off of him as his breath quickened, his gaze darkened, and his grip around her tightened.

Piper realized, as she tumbled off the edge of a cliff, that some things were better left in action…and not words.

<<<<>>>>>

She stayed. What choice did she have when Quinn pinned her to mattress every time she tried to leave? The clock was rolling past two a.m., and Piper fell next to Quinn on the bed, shocks of another orgasm skittering through her body.

“We should really be sleeping now,” she puffed.

He popped himself up on his elbow, staring down at her, a satisfied grin on his too-handsome face. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Piper said nothing about the visual that caused her. Or the sudden stabbing to her heart.

His fingers danced along her stomach. “Besides, this is far better than sleeping.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll probably end up falling asleep on the embalming table tomorrow, and you’ll…” She blinked, not able to finish her sentence. “I have no idea what you do.”

“You’ve never asked.”

Truly, she hadn’t. The less she knew about him, the better. Less to get attached to. But she’d left the question hanging out there. Now she would be a fool not to follow through. She pulled the rumpled sheet to her chest and rolled to face him, propping herself up on her elbow. “Okay, I’ll bite. What do you do, Quinn?”

“Sure you wouldn’t rather sleep? Or…” His hand fell on the curve of her hip, and his thumb skimmed circles over and over.

“Don’t try to distract me now. You did that every time I tried to leave. Now I’m not leaving, so answer the question.”

His grin was quick and devastating. “If you really want to know…”

“I’m only asking this once, so you better hurry up with it before I change my mind.”

He kissed her forehead. “I thought you’d never ask.”

She frowned, confused, but said nothing.

“I’m a grief counselor at a VA hospital.”

Her mouth went dry. That was why he asked all the right questions and always had the perfect answer…the Hallmark answer. The reason he could see right through her and make her feel things she’d suppressed long ago—he dealt with it every day. He knew how to coax people from their pains and make them feel better about themselves. She didn’t know if she should be relieved or angry. A tight knot formed in her stomach, thinking he’d used his experience to do something no man had ever done to her. And yet, the flutter in her chest said she’d needed it.

“Cat got your tongue?” he asked playfully. “I didn’t say I was an astronaut or anything, so you shouldn’t be frightened.”

“No. No, it…it makes sense now.”

He arched a brow. “What?”

“Why you always know the perfect thing to say.”

“I do?”

“More than you can even imagine.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

She shrugged, suddenly wanting to escape from this conversation. “It would be with someone else.”

“I’m not with someone else, Piper.” He cupped her cheek. “I’m with you.”

She cast her eyes away. It was like he could see in her,
through
her. It was too much, yet she still wanted to wrap herself around him and beg him to never leave her side.

Whoa.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “What made you want to do that? Your mother said you and your brothers were all in the Air Force.”

He rolled onto his back, folding his hands behind his head. “Del serves full-time. KC finished when he was thirty, and now he’s in the reserves. I was in until I was twenty-eight when an accident required me to be honorably discharged, but ineligible to serve in the reserves.”

Her eyes slid to his right eye. The one that was lighter than the left. The one with the skin faded and pale with ragged edges. But it wasn’t ugly; it was the opposite, making this already stunning man more fascinating.

“Your eye?” she asked, reaching out to stroke a finger over the pale skin.

He closed his eyes and nodded. “Chemical burn from working on a plane. I’m color-blind in that eye, which is a no-no in the Air Force. And I love to fly. It crushed me when it happened. When I was recovering, I was so pissed at the world. I had my life ripped from me, my dream, all because someone didn’t tighten a gasket.” His voice stayed calm, despite a twitch at the corner of his mouth. “When I found out I was ineligible to even serve in the reserves, my life was practically over. My parents tried to help, but I didn’t want to listen to them. ‘God has a plan for you, Quinn,’ Dad would always say. And Ma?” He rolled his eyes. “She was happy her baby was alive and could
see.
It wasn’t until I met Dan, another pilot at the VA hospital, that Ma’s words really hit home.”

Piper’s fingers stroked through his hair, wanting to help calm whatever bad feelings he was conjuring up.

“His injury took his eyesight.” Quinn blinked, and Piper saw the flash of emotion he tried to hide. “After talking to him, I became more thankful of the gift I still had—my sight. It might not be perfect anymore, but I can still see and still do the things I love, even if it’s not in the area I’d prefer. I didn’t have anything taken from me, I realized. I had new doors open up. That’s how life works, Piper.”

Her fingers stilled in his hair. Suddenly she felt as if he was talking about more than his accident. “Well, from what I gather,” she said, a little choked up, “you’re probably very good at your job. You’ve managed to turn my insides out.”

A slow smile spread across his face. “Then I’ve accomplished my goal.”

In a flash, his arms were wound around her back, his lips were on hers, dragging her to that sweet place.

“Everyone has a story, Piper. It’s a matter of whether or not you want to tell it…or learn from it. Grandpa taught me that.” He kissed the corner of her lips before releasing her.

“He’s a very smart man.”

“Indeed. He’s taught us all the importance of being the best we can be—in life, love, and when dealing with others.” The streetlamp light caught his eyes, and they glistened. “Like you. If it weren’t for what I’ve been through, I would have never known what to do about you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You make it sound like I was some sort of a conquest.”

A chuckled rolled out him, rattling his chest against hers. “It was nothing like that. You did something to me that I couldn’t shake. Only one person has done that before, and I didn’t want to let it go.”

“Maddie…” Piper let the word hang between them like a question. She was certain that was who he was referring to, but she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to be compared to his dead wife.

Quinn sat up in bed and rolled his shoulders, swinging his legs to the side. His back was to her now, taking away any comfort she’d felt when he was lying next to her.

“Would you like to hear about her?” he asked, his voice still steely calm.

“Only if you want to tell me.” Piper herself had loved someone and lost him, and she didn’t know if her heart could handle listening to Quinn tell a story she could barely tell herself.

“We’d known each other since kindergarten. She lived right next door to Ma and Dad. We hated each other at first, of course. Imagine, three young boys with a house full of sisters next door.” He chuckled. “Recipe for disaster. Frogs in their bicycle baskets, worms in their tea cups. One day when we were in the fifth grade, she was racing home from her friend’s house on her bike. She hit a pothole and flipped over the handlebars. I happened to be playing basketball down by the school with some friends and saw the whole thing. I remember that day like it was yesterday.”

His head tipped back. Piper didn’t know if his eyes were closed or not, if he was looking up toward the heavens or not, but she imagined he was reliving that day over in his head.

“Her arm was broken, and her ankle was sprained. I helped her home…”

“You rescued her,” Piper said, imagining a younger Quinn rushing to anyone’s aide. That was his type of thing to do.

“The boys made fun of me, but I didn’t care. She quickly became my only friend, besides my brothers, and I was the only one who got to sign her arm cast. I didn’t want to be around anyone but her. Even though she was girl, we had a lot in common.

“Enter puberty and high school, and everything changed.” His shoulders rolled back. “Gone were the silly conversations about who could ride their bike faster. Gone were the contests about who could eat ice cream faster. I grew up, she filled out, and everything changed…”

Piper touched a hand to his shoulder. His story was aching familiar to her own story with Steven.

“You loved her,” she said quietly.

He nodded. “The first love is a different kind of love. Innocent, I think. When two people don’t really know who they are, but they find respite in each other.”

Tears stung the back of Piper’s eyes. Quinn was exactly right.

“Our junior year she was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Surgery was not an option. Chemo would only prolong the inevitable, and she refused to have the last days of her life strung out in sickness and hospital visits. She wanted to
live
.”

The tears crested and broke, falling down Piper’s cheek, splashing silently on the covers beneath her. Piper’s first love Steven hadn’t been given that option to live. His life had been taken with no warning. Learning about Maddie, Piper realized she and Quinn had a connection she was not prepared for.

“The day she turned eighteen, we were married.” Quinn’s voice had gone soft, distant. “She passed away less than a month later.”