Until I Die Again [On The Way To Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) (32 page)

Renee changed her shirt, then walked with him to the door. She stopped and looked up. “You’ll be all right?”

“Something tells me I will.”

She sighed, biting her lip. “I’m never going to forget that kiss, Jamie.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I wish you would.”

The door closed behind them, and she walked slowly down the lighted pathway. He was glad for his brother. He hoped it would work out.

As for Hallie, she was dealing with something right now, but he didn’t think it had anything to do with a man. It was something she couldn’t share with him, something more than bridge nightmares, and that hurt. He was her husband, and his place was by her side, no matter what she was facing.

Hadn’t he closed the door himself by suggesting she see a doctor about her dreams and paranoia? Her paranoia had turned out to be valid. But she also seemed abnormally afraid that he would send her to the Sharp Rehabilitation Center. He sighed, and headed in the direction of home. After all, she’d made her decision. And he’d made his. He just wasn’t sure if he could stick to it.

Is this what it would feel like to be returned home after ten years in an alien ship?
Maven was another world, a place she had dreamed about, a distant memory from someone else’s life. Tucked amidst the mountains at over eight thousand feet, thoughts of palm trees and beaches seemed ludicrous.

As they had for generations, the residents of Maven were stringing up Christmas decorations from the lampposts on the very first day of December. Hallie sat in her rented SUV along Main Street, watching them… smiling and crying at the same time. Her entire life had been spent there, growing up, laughing, playing. Dying.

She wrapped the coat she’d purchased on her layover tightly around her and stepped out of the car. The red buildings held the flavor of the old west, some with white columns and wooden porches in front. It seemed so different now. Maybe because she was different. A woman who had died and been reborn, had loved and been loved.

She couldn’t keep the cry from escaping her throat, and she bowed her head into her gloved hands. So recently she had been in Jamie’s arms, making love to him, knowing it could be her last time if he never forgave her for leaving.

“Miss, are you all right?”

She jerked up to see the owner of the store she was standing in front of peering anxiously at her.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Stanford.”

The woman’s soft brown eyes became curious, her mouth curved in a smile. “Do I know you?”

Hallie glanced at the sign. “I, uh, saw the sign. You are the owner, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am.” She laughed. “You just guessed that?”

“Uh hm.”

“It’s awfully cold out here. Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?”

“No, but thank you. I’ve got to get going.”

Hallie walked carefully across the icy sidewalk to her car. She drove down the small strip that constituted the “main drag” of Maven. Cheech’s Pizza Parlor looked cozy and crowded, brightly lit and full of activity. If she thought she could walk in without sobbing, she would. It was strangely disappointing to see life going on without her, yet she knew it must.

Just before the road turned rural, Alan’s auto shop sat at the corner, dimly lit. She slowed down, and with her pace so did the beating of her heart. He was there in the office, alone. A new, black pickup truck sat out front, perched high on extended shocks. She could stop and talk to him right then. The numbness inside her warned that it wasn’t a good idea. Not yet.

Curiously, the sight of his shop didn’t cause a melancholy to settle over her, didn’t make her heart swell. Instead she felt colder than the snowflakes swirling around her car. Not that anyone could cause the response Jamie did. She squeezed her eyes shut. No, she would never feel that way about anyone else. But still, shouldn’t she feel
something
?

She kept driving, wanting to take in everything around her—the sight of the frosty mountains rising around her, covered in misty fog, the snow-laden aspens sagging under the weight, the wooden railing encircling acres of farmland. Everywhere she looked, a memory leaped at her. Tears slid down her face, not for things lost, but for things she had, for a happy childhood and a family who loved her.

Dense branches made the stands of bare trees look as though they were going up in smoke, giving them a hazy appearance. Only when she spotted the cedar house set back from the road a short distance did she realize why she had come this way. Her heart dropped down by the brake pedal she pressed so hard in front of her parents’ house.

Through the huge windows in front, she saw the fireplace’s reflection dancing along the walls, an occasional movement inside. Her parents. Maybe a sister, maybe all three.
Why did I come out here? I knew it would be like this.
She wanted to walk up to the window and watch them all evening, even after they went to sleep.

The sound of a horn jarred her, and she whirled around to see a truck waiting for her to move along. She pulled into her parents’ driveway, hesitating only a moment before backing up again.

Hallie headed back to town, pulling down the side street where the Maven Inn was tucked away. The Inn had been resurrected from the gold rush days, with shutters and red paint specially treated to look almost as old as it really was. Home for now. She pulled out her bag, picked a clump of snow from a tree and pressed it against her eyes to help with the swelling. Hopefully the clerk would think it was just the cold that made her look as if she had been crying for days.

She handed Jake her credit card, suppressing the urge to call him by his first name. If Jamie turned her away when she returned to Caterina, maybe Maven would become her home again. As long as it wasn’t really true that home was where the heart was.

It didn’t take Hallie long to be sharply reminded of her reason for coming back to Maven. The nightmare came back with the force of the train that roared by the outskirts of town. She woke in the night, hearing the distant whistle that echoed mournfully in the distance.

She turned on the light and snuggled into the blankets more, wishing the heater in the old place worked better. Without leaving the bed, she leaned way over and pulled her suitcase from the nearby dresser. She dumped the contents out on the bed. The article and obituary had disappeared. She tried to remember if she had read them on the plane, but she couldn’t recall thinking of anything but Jamie. Could she have left them at Caterina? Possibly. She took only a bit of reassurance in the fact that he would never find them in their hiding place: taped beneath the dresser in their bedroom.

At seven o’clock that morning she was sitting in the saloon-style restaurant drinking her fourth cup of coffee. Downright jittery by eight, she stepped out into a clear day with only a smear of thin clouds to interfere with the deep blue sky.

In a few minutes, she found herself staring at the auto shop again, wondering why the feeling of dread was creeping up her like a shadow. She shook it off and walked inside the cluttered waiting area that smelled of gas and stale smoke. When Alan walked out of the tiny office, she felt the blood drain from her face. It returned when she stepped forward and introduced herself.

“Hello, I’m Hallie DiBarto. I just moved into town.”

His green, deep-set eyes appraised her unashamedly before lazily wandering back to meet her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure I’ve never seen you around here before.” He smiled. “You’re awfully tan for this time of year.”

She glanced down at herself, trying to push away memories of beaches. “I, uh, tanning salons. I like to keep my color.”

He moved a toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other with his tongue. “Won’t find anything like that around here.”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Listen, I was just wondering if you needed anyone to do your books or office stuff.”

He leaned back and stuck oil-tinged fingers into grimy jean pockets, a curious expression on his face. “As a matter of fact, I do need someone to take care of my books. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess?”

She knew he looked much better cleaned up and shaven, but she couldn’t imagine what had drawn her to him so many months ago when he’d first moved to Maven. Out of place was the thick, gold rope hanging around his neck. It was new, and as her eyes lingered on it, his hand moved to twist it around.

“When can you start?” he asked.

“Now. I need the job.”

“This is only part-time.”

“That’s fine.”

He showed her to his large, cluttered desk, and cleared a small place for her.

“Now don’t mess with anything else around here, okay? I know where everything is, so I don’t need anyone tidying up.”

“I understand.”

She sat at the desk where Chris had spent many hours doing his books, talking with him. As she was familiarizing herself with his system again, his presence leaning just above her made her gaze drift to him.

“What brings a sexy lady like yourself to this stinkin’ place anyway?”

“Dreams,” she said. “I always had a dream of living in a small town in the mountains. And I don’t think this town stinks.”

“You’re new. Give it some time.”

He lingered for a moment, as if weighing her answer. Finally, he walked out to the garage where, through the glass window, she saw him glide beneath a car. The nightmarish feeling gripped her insides, and a flash of her last conversation with Alan.
My name is Randy Vittone
.
What does it mean?

When she got off work at three o’clock, she decided to find a place to live. First, she would drive by her old house. That would prove less emotional than her parents’ house. Unless maybe there was a “For Sale” sign out front.

The dreaded sign was there, planted in the dead grass of the front yard. When she took a deep breath to read it, she exhaled and smiled. It said
ROOM FOR RENT
. She walked up the familiar concrete pathway, past the spot where pink honeysuckles and Indian paintbrush grew in the summer, past Phoenix’s favorite shady spot.

When the door opened, Hallie saw belly first. A slightly off-balanced Paula grinned as she leaned against the door frame. A very pregnant Paula with long, light brown fuzzy hair and blue eyes. Hallie’s heart swelled, and she leaned over and touched her niece or nephew before catching herself mid-way.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just can’t resist.”

Paula thrust her stomach out even more than Hallie thought possible. “Go ahead. Everybody does it. Are you here about the room?”

“Yes. I just moved into town and I can already tell the Maven Inn isn’t going to cut it.”

Paula wobbled backward and waved her in. “I can see why. I’ll show you the room, but you’re going to have to bear with me. I go very slowly up these stairs. My husband usually does this, but he’s out right now.”

Kerry. What a goof, Hallie thought with a smile, remembering the 5’7 blond electrician.

“I can find the way on my own, if that’s okay. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Which room is it?”

“It’s the one in the back facing west. It’s got a nice view, with a bathroom of your own down the hall. I’ll warn you, though, it is kind of small. And you’re going to have to put up with…” She patted her belly. “The little one pretty soon.”

“The end of December, right?”

“Yeah, good guess. Most people think I’m due any hour now.”

Hallie walked up alone, wondering if it was such a good idea to live in her own house with her sister. She was ever so grateful to her parents for giving her house to Paula and Kerry, the two who needed it most. The room would be fine, she decided, without even opening the white door. She already knew it—her someday future nursery.

Hallie had lived more than two weeks in a pseudo life, dreaming about Jamie and tubfulsa tubful of M&M’s, having nightmares about bridges and death. Still, she was no closer to finding the answers about her death than when she’d first arrived in Maven. The thought of having these nightmares the rest of her life scared her almost as much as the possibility that she may have lost Jamie for nothing.

Paula brought a steaming bowl of oatmeal to the table and snapped her fingers to draw Hallie out of her thoughts.

“Did you have another one of those nightmares again?” Paula asked. “I didn’t hear you scream last night.”

“I’m really sorry about waking you up.” She forced a laugh. “And you thought the baby was going to keep you up all night.”

Paula sat down after scooping mushy brown stuff into the bowl in front of Hallie. “I don’t mind really. It just scares me out of my wits until I realize someone’s not murdering you. What are they about?”

Hallie looked at Paula’s concerned face, and ventured, “I keep dreaming I’m driving off a bridge.”

Paula’s face went white, and Hallie feared she would faint and fall to the floor.
What a stupid thing to say.

Paula was covered in goosebumps and shaking. “I don’t believe you said that.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—what did I do exactly?”

The sadness that crept over Paula’s features made Hallie feel terribly guilty for bringing it up. But a trill of warmth shot through her, too. Her sister missed her, maybe as much as she missed Paula.

“How long have you been having those dreams?” Paula’s eyes were wide and wild-looking.

“For a few months. Why?”

Paula put her hand to her heart, breathing deeply. “My—my sister died a few months ago. She drove off a bridge. I thought maybe her ghost was in the house and had possessed you. This is her house, you see. I didn’t want anyone to sell it, so Kerry and I took over the payments.”

“No, I don’t think her ghost is around. I’m so sorry to hear about her death. Why did she drive off the bridge?”

Paula pushed her bowl of oatmeal aside. “They
said
she lost control of the car.”

“But you don’t believe that?” Hallie asked, trying to calm her excitement.

“No. And I think that damn boyfriend of hers…” Paula’s eyes widened, and she slapped her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, you work for him. I shouldn’t say anything.”