Until I Die Again [On The Way To Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) (11 page)

Jamie looked over, catching her staring at him. She was glad the darkness kept her blush a secret. But her smile, now that was hard to miss. It didn’t look like the pleasant smiles on the other people’s faces. No, she was sure hers was frisky.

He leaned over. “What are you grinning about? I don’t see anything funny.”

His whisper tickled her ear, sending a shiver down her neck. She nodded toward a man she’d spotted earlier. “What do you think? A toupee? Or a bush?”

The man’s dark, thick hair abruptly stopped two-thirds down and turned into thin, graying hair.

Jamie grinned. “That’s the most entertaining thing I’ve seen yet.”

Hallie giggled. “What about that couple over there?” Three rows ahead and to the right a young man’s black hair stuck up in points all around his head. His companion’s head looked more like six o’clock shadow, her scalp showing through the tiny hairs struggling to grow back.

He looked at her with a surprised smile, then took a lock of her hair in his hand and whispered, “You’d look great in that hairstyle of hers.” He glanced around. “Anyone got any scissors?”

She laughed and pulled away. “No! Don’t touch my hair.”

The people sitting near them turned to give them looks meant to hush. Hallie didn’t care. She leaned over and quietly said, “Only if you get your ears pierced and wear earrings like his.”

He looked at the punkish man she’d indicated, with three inch handcuff earrings dangling from both ears and a spike through his eyebrow.

“In one ear or both?”

“Both.”

“Hmm.” He looked at her hair again. “It’d be worth it. I’ll find an ear piercing shop, you find a hair dresser. Or a hair undresser, as the case would be.”

As if they were both imagining the other without hair or with funky earrings, they started laughing. Several people turned and
shhhh
’d them. He laughed when she stuck her tongue out at the back of their heads.

He whispered, “Darn, they might never let us in here again.”

She turned to respond and found her nose touching his. Their gazes locked and their smiles faded. Something unravelled inside, freeing her heart to jump around. And words sang to her from a distance, sweet, melodious words.

Find his heart.

The impact of what those words meant sent her backwards, and she stared into the darkness around her while trying to catch her breath. When she looked at Jamie, he seemed stunned, too. And a little annoyed with himself. He stared at the stage, and she knew darn well he wasn’t interested in anything up there.

“I know you hate this stuff as much as I do, so don’t pretend that you’re all of a sudden enjoying it,” she said.

He looked at her, causing her heart to increase its rhythm. “I need an intermission. Let’s get out of here.”

Taking her hand, he pulled her from the seat and headed toward the exit doors. The grumps mumbled their wishes that their departure be permanent. When they reached the fresh air outside, their laughter resounded through the parking lot. He clamped his arm around her shoulder and steered her toward the car. She was almost disappointed when they reached the Porsche and he removed his arm to open the door for her. After getting in, he turned to her.

“I think that’s the most fun I’ve ever had at one of those things.” Then he looked ahead, and an uneasiness passed over his features.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, desperately wanting the mood to continue.

“I’m not used to having fun with you anymore, Hallie. It seems strange.” He backed the car up and pulled to the exit.

“So? What’s wrong with having fun with me?”

He looked at her for the longest time. “There’s been so much between us.”

She ventured to reach out and touch the hand resting on the gear shifter. “Can’t we forget the past?”

His laugh held no humor. “That’s easy for you to say. You
have
forgotten the past. I can’t do that, even if I wanted to.”

He pulled onto the highway, heading in the direction of home. The last threads of their light mood slipped away, but she grasped at one.

“Let’s go to Oceanview.”

He looked at her as if she was crazy. “Don’t tell me you have a sudden urge to visit your mother.”

“God, no. I have another idea.” She grinned provocatively, hoping to pique his curiosity.

“And what might that be?”

“Come on, and you’ll find out.”

“I don’t know if I like your surprises. Let’s just go back home.”

She leaned toward him, needing to close the gap between them, at least physically. “Please, Jamie. I don’t want tonight to end yet.”

Instead of winning him over with her pleading and honesty, he moved away. “Hallie, this is too weird. You’re too different. I don’t know how to act around you anymore or what to expect. We’ve gone along all this time being unhappy and making each other miserable. Then, just when I accept losing you as a wife, you nearly die. No, you do die. Then, when I’m ready to let you go completely, you come back. I was happy about that, I really was. And I figured, back to square three, where we were from before your stroke. But you can’t be predictable, no, we go to square fifty-six, wherever that is.” He dug his fingers through his hair in frustration, and all she could think about was running her own fingers through it, too.

“Jamie, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m a different person now.”

He glanced at her with narrowed eyes. “I’m not so sure about that either. You’re different, but I’m not sure how different and for how long.”

She looked at him intently. “Forever.”

His fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “I’ll be happy if we can part friends. That’s all I want from you, is peace. Maybe that’s what’s different now. Maybe we can do that.”

She slumped in her seat, pushed into silence by the finality of his words.

Find his heart.

The words filtered through the closed atmosphere of the car, filtered through her very being. She crossed her arms.
He doesn’t have one!
But even as she thought it, she knew it wasn’t true. She glanced at him, then away. Total eclipse of the heart.

It was too hard. Easier to just walk away like she planned. Maybe go back to Maven. But the thought of leaving Jamie left an ache in her heart.
Damn, why couldn’t I have just left right away?
But she already knew the answer. Jamie was the reason she was there. To find his heart, to bring him alive again.

She leaned back, feeling tense all over. It was hard enough to win the love of a man who’d been hurt; it was impossible when that man thought you were the one who had hurt him. She, a woman who had had two relationships, both of which hadn’t gone very well, and now she had a marriage to save. How in Heaven’s name was she going to do that?

Hallie looked up to see a sign reading
TO LOS ALMEDA, ESCONDIDO
. They had passed the road going east. They were going to Oceanview. She smiled. She was on a mission from God. That was all she needed to know for now.

She wasnwasn’t going to do or say anything that would change his mind during the rest of the ride. They pulled into the town that only looked familiar from the night before.

“Okay, where to?”

“To a department store.”

“A store? Are we going shopping?”

“No. Just humor me. There, that one will do.”

He pulled into the parking lot. She knew they looked ridiculous, Jamie in his white Tuxedo shirt and black pants, she in her blue dress. A few people actually said hello to her, but she brushed by them with a casual wave. She didn’t have time to renew “old friendships.” Well, except for one.

“What are we buying here?” that exception asked.

“Pillows,” she stated simply, knowing he would still be confused.

They picked up two pillows and headed to the front register. A few minutes later, they loaded them into the trunk.

Jamie asked again, “Okay, what are you up to? Don’t tell me you plan to make out on the beach, because I’m not—”

She placed a finger over his lips, not wanting him to spoil the mood. “Just humor me. Please.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered and walked around to open her door.

She directed him to the planetarium. They still had a few minutes. She tugged his arm to hurry him up, rushing him past the sign announcing the laser light show. Thankfully the show hadn’t started yet, because she wasn’t familiar with the layout of this planetarium. She knew every inch of the one near Maven.

“So we’re seeing the planets tonight, eh?” Jamie said as he let her lead him into the dim room.

“You’ll see.”

Rows of seats curved around one side of the small room, and in front of them was a half-circle area on the floor. She threw the pillows down there and carefully, with her dress pulled up, sat on the carpet.

He looked at her, then up at the rows of empty seats. “You’re kidding, right?”

She shook her head, a big grin on her face. For the first time, she felt at home. Grabbing his hand, she yanked him down beside her.

“Prop your pillow up on this little ledge like this,” she instructed. “It gives you a headrest.”

He arranged his pillow, then stretched out on his back. As soon as he got comfortable next to her, the lights went out and a voice spoke to them on the loudspeaker.

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Oceanview Planetarium. Tonight we’re going retro, featuring the classic rock bands Journey and Boston. I see that a few of you have been here before and know that the best seats are on the floor in front. Enjoy the show!”

Jamie turned to her and whispered, “You’ve obviously been here before.”

“Um, yeah. When I lived here I came all the time.”

“Don’t Stop Believin’” was the first song, and the red laser beam appeared in the darkness and spelled out JOURNEY above them. Then little squares of blue, green and red filled the “sky,” moving around in unison with the music. But nothing was more amazing than Jamie’s face as he watched in complete fascination. So enthralled was he that he didn’t notice her watching him for the entire song and into the next one.

She leaned over and whispered, “Well? Do you like it?”

He nodded, still watching above, and his hair tickled her nose. His cologne was a mixture of musk and masculinity. She closed her eyes and inhaled. When she opened them, she found him staring at her, the blue and green lights playing off his skin.

She instinctively moved back. She was sure, even in the reflection of lights, that he could see the glow of her blush.

He looked back at the laser show. “It’s like Spirograph come to life.”

His arms were above his head, stretching the white material of his shirt tight against his muscles. She forced herself to look up, commanded herself to keep watching the show. Everything brought back warm, wonderful memories of her former life. The smell of the room, the rustle of people as they moved in their seats or slipped down to the floor to join them. But getting lost in the music had never felt like this before, not with Jamie lying beside her. It surrounded her, wrapped itself around her like a hand wrapping around hers, fingers tightening around her own…

She jerked out of her trance and realized that it wasn’t just the music. Jamie
had
taken her hand into his. She didn’t dare look at him, didn’t move. All she could do was concentrate on the tingling feeling that felt like a thousand bubbles moving up her arm, straight to her stomach. She swallowed hard, trying to dispel the sudden dryness in her throat. It was a full five songs later before she realized she’d had her eyes closed.

She had laid on the floor of a planetarium before, next to a man. And he had taken her hand and held it. But it didn’t feel like this. Jamie’s hand tensed then loosened, so subtly that if she hadn’t been concentrating, the movement would have slipped by unnoticed. The power of his touch, the significance of the gesture. And the effect of the purely physical aspect of it. She was lost in it all, wanting to touch him more, afraid to move for fear he might pull away.

When the last song finished, he stood and stretched before she could see his face. Her hand still felt warm and moist, but the cold air started to chill it. Only giving her his profile, he reached down and offered his hand again, this time to help her to her feet. As soon as she got her balance, he let go and started moving toward the door.

Three younger women looked at Jamie with appreciative glances, and speculative glances at her. They managed to situate themselves between him and Hallie, and he held the door open for them to walk through. The three smiled sweetly and thanked him, but Jamie was watching her, waiting for her to walk through the door. In those blue eyes of his, she couldn’t read a thing. Not one emotion seeped to the surface, not one clue to his thoughts and feelings.

He was quiet on the drive back to Los Almeda, and she spent the entire trip weighing whether silence was good or bad. He could, on one hand, be thinking about their future… rethinking his feelings about her. That thought made her soar inside. But she had to take the alternative into consideration, too. Perhaps he was chastising himself for letting the music and different surroundings woo him into an unguarded mood.

The house loomed large and eerie in the clear night, the blue moonlight reflecting off the grey paint. By the time they had parked the car and let the garage door slide noiselessly closed, she was a bundle of tension. He walked a few inches ahead, his face hidden with the distance.

Maybe it was the tension exploding inside her. Maybe it was the full moon. She didn’t know exactly what possessed her, but she took one of the pillows she carried and slammed it into the back of his head. The complete surprise on his face, coupled with the sight of disheveled hair sticking straight up made her start giggling helplessly. She doubled over, leaving herself defenseless when he grabbed the pillow and whipped her across the backside with it.

She let out a scream and giggle, then rushed him with the other pillow. He put his arm up in defense, and she flung the pillow across his stomach. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head in challenge, then started for her. Her laughter, combined with delight at having altered his mood, kept her in a fit of laughter, but she managed to dodge him.