Until Harry (24 page)

I nodded. “I know, but I still feel like I should have known better.”

“Repeat in that beautiful head of yours that you are
not
, and will
never
be, responsible for someone else’s actions. People make their own decisions, no matter what the situation. If they do
something
, it’s because they
choose
to do it. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault.”

I pressed my face into the crook of his neck.

“I’ve got you, Lane,” he breathed into my hair. “I’ve got you.”

I smelled whisky on him, and it was strong. The scent caused my senses to come alive and my body to awaken for the first time in weeks.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I mumbled, trying to force away the urge to let the scent consume me. “Drew will kill me.”

He grunted. “She told me what she said to you, and you better ignore her. She won’t touch you. She was just in a bad mood.”

Uh-huh.

“Have you had much to drink?” I asked, pulling back from
him.

He nodded, his eyes bloodshot. “To celebrate your uncle’s birthday I had some Jack – or a lot of Jack.”

I needed him to leave. “Everyone is asleep, so maybe you should go on home—”

“I love you,” he interrupted.

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I said,” he chuckled, “I
love
you. I love you so much.”

“Stop it.” I frowned at him. “You are
drunk
. You say and do stuff you don’t mean when you’re drunk.”

“No, I don’t,” he slurred.

“Yeah,” I argued. “You do.”

And I have the broken heart to prove it.

“I’ve been thinking a lot tonight,” he said, smiling.

“You thinking?” I questioned. “That’s always a dangerous
thing.”

Kale snorted. “Ha ha ha.”

I shook my head at him, smiling.

“Kale, go home. You need to go to sleep.”

“No,” he stated. “What I need to do is talk to you.”

I couldn’t deal with him when he was like this. “Okay, talk really quick because I don’t want my parents to come down here and see you drunk in the front garden.”

Kale lifted his finger to his mouth and whispered, “I’ll be quiet.”

Why does he have to be so bloody adorable?

I bit down on my lower lip. “Okay, talk, but still be quiet.”

“Okay,” he exhaled, then shook his head like he was trying to stay awake, “what I wanted to talk to you was about us
having sex—”

“Whoa, Kale.” I cut him off, feeling my face flush with heat. “It’s best if we don’t speak about that, okay?”

It was less gut-wrenching not to voice it aloud. Just thinking about it hurt enough.

“Why not?” he asked, tilting his head and almost falling in the same direction, until I grabbed hold of him.

He was wasted.

I grunted in annoyance. “Just because.”

“Okay.” He frowned, blinking very slowly. “I won’t talk about it, but I want to talk about what it meant—”

“Kale,” I groaned. “Please, I can’t do this with you. I really can’t.”

“Will you let me finish?” He scowled, swaying on his feet.

I rolled my eyes and waved him on.

“I’m trying to tell you that” – 
hiccup
 – “I’ve thought hard” – 
hiccup
 – “and long, and I want you to” – 
hiccup
 – “be with me, please and thank you.” He thought about what he’d just said and then laughed at himself, hard.

I stared at him in disbelief. “What, Kale?”

“I love you a lot,” he slurred. “Be with me.”

“Do you
hear
yourself?” I snapped, anger surging through my veins.

He shoved his finger in my face and said, “No, but I know what you’re saying, or what I’m saying.”

He was hurting my head.

“Love you.” He beamed. “Be mine.”

“No,” I snapped, and pushed his hand away. “No, you don’t love me – you love
Drew
.”

Pain and awareness flashed across his face.

“I love both of you.”

I laughed humourlessly. “Aren’t you lucky having two girls on the go?”

Kale scowled at me, stumbling to the left. “Stop that. Don’t be hurtful.”

“You’re being hurtful!” I retorted. “This is evil what you’re doing, I’m
not
doing this with you.”

“I love you,” he repeated as if I’d never spoken. “Be with me.”

He’ll wake up sober tomorrow and regret saying any of this, just like he did after we had sex.

I swallowed. “No, Kale.”

He stared at me, his eyes inflamed. “No?”

I nodded. “No.”

He swallowed, and I saw the muscle in his jaw roll back and forth.

“Okay,” he said, his voice low. “Okay.”

I was doing this to protect my own heart, and to protect him from having to talk his way out of this tomorrow morning, but it didn’t make saying what I did any easier.

“We’re best friends,” I whispered. “I’m like your sister.”

That word was like vinegar in my mouth.

Kale almost glared at me as he nodded. “Okay.” He stretched the word out.

I stepped towards him, but he stumbled away from me.

“I’m going to my parents’ house,” he said. “See you later, Lane.”

He turned and walked away from me then, and with every step he took, my legs threatened to run after him, but I forced myself to turn around and go back into my parents’ house. I halted at the top of the stairs and stared at my bedroom door.

I didn’t want to sleep on my own – not tonight. Not after what had just happened. Without much thought, I walked towards my parents’ room and opened the door.

“Mum?” I whispered.

She shot upright in her bed. “I’m awake – are you okay?”

I hesitated in speaking for a moment and then shook my head.

“Can I sleep with you?” I whispered.

“I’ll go into your room,” my father’s voice said as he got out of bed. “Get in beside your mother, darling.”

He stood out of my way as I walked around to his side of the bed and crawled into it and wrapped my arms around my mother. I hated what I was doing to them. I had slept with my mother a lot after I came home from the hospital, because I was having nightmares, and I knew they both had trouble sleeping because they were so worried about me.

“I feel broken,” I muttered against my mother’s chest.

“It will be okay, baby,” she whispered, and kissed my head. “
I pr
omise.”

My father left the room, and I heard a loud bang seconds later as if he’d hit something.

“Do you want to talk to me, or to someone, about what happened?” she asked.

I blinked in the darkness.

She thought I was in her arms because of what Jensen had tried to do to me, but I wasn’t. I was still in a state of shock over that, but I felt like the only damage from that night was the small physical marks he left, and once they were gone, he had no hold over me. He’d scared me straight; I would never again behave the way I did to get myself into a situation like that.

I swore it to myself.

What my mother didn’t know was that it was the person she considered a son who had me so torn up and vulnerable. She didn’t know that he was the reason I used to drink and got lost in different lads. She didn’t know I gave him my virginity and that he didn’t remember a single thing about it. She didn’t know I had been in love with him since I was ten years old, and she definitely didn’t know I’d give up everything to be his.

My mother didn’t know she had raised a complete idiot, and she wouldn’t if I had anything do with it. I was going to change.
Everything
was going to change.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Day four in York

L
ane, are you ready?”

I jumped with fright when Layton’s voice called my name.

“Sorry,” he said, laughing from behind me. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

I got up from the kitchen table and turned to face him.

“You didn’t scare me.”

My brother grinned. “Aye, that’s why you almost jumped out of your skin then?”

I scrunched up my nose, making him laugh.

“Are we good to go?” I asked.

He nodded. “Nanny is just using the loo, and then we’re
heading out
.”

I nodded. “Come in and close the door then; I want to speak to you.”

Layton eyed me warily. “About what?”

I didn’t exactly know. I just knew I needed to speak to him to make sure we were okay. I was cool with my nanny, Lochlan, my parents, and that left Layton and Kale for me to square away any spot of bother that lingered.

“Sit down, you big girl’s blouse, and I’ll tell you,” I chuckled.

Layton didn’t appreciate the teasing, but he did as I asked and sat across from me at the kitchen table.

“You’re okay, aren’t you?” he asked, his concern for me obvious.

His gaze lingered on my right eyebrow, then my left cheek, a little longer than necessary, and for a split second, I wondered if he thought back to that time that I’d received the faint scars. I hoped not, because I didn’t, and I didn’t want him to either.

I smiled. “Yeah, I just want to make sure we’re okay.”

Layton raised his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Because the only times we have spoken over the last few years were when I called at Christmas and on your and Lochlan’s birthday. I don’t blame you if you hate me.”

“Hold the phone,” he said abruptly. “I have never, and will never, hate you, Lane. You’re my baby sister: I love you to death.”

My throat got tight with emotion. “I guess . . . I guess I just figured you would feel some sort of way towards me because things ended badly with us before I left, and we never spoke.”

“I’m just as much to blame for us not speaking.” Layton sighed. “I just hate the thought of you living so far away. Something awful happened to you just down the road, Lane. What if something bad happened to you over in America, and you were without us? I didn’t accept or agree with your decision and just closed myself off. I hated your decision, not you.”

“I’m sorry, Lay. It was really shitty of me to move so far away.
I j
ust didn’t think about anything like that at the time.”

He nodded. “I know, but I thought about it a lot. So did Dad, Lochlan, Kale and even Uncle Harry, God rest him.”

I swallowed. “I’m so sorry.”

Layton leaned forward. “I know you still have your troubles with Kale, but will you not consider moving home, or somewhere close by?”

The fact that I was definitely considering it spoke volumes about what I had to do.

I nervously nodded to my brother. “It’s become more and more clear that living in New York isn’t helping me. It’s not fixing me, but maybe coming home will in some way.”

Layton’s eyes lit up. “You have made me so bloody happy, sis.”

I laughed as he pulled me into a standing hug and almost squeezed the breath straight out of me. “It’s not decided yet, but it’s an option. Just keep this between us for now. I have to figure out a lot of stuff in my head.”

My brother pulled back and winked. “You got it.”

I relaxed. “I had a talk like this with Lochlan, and he sprung upon me that he was in a relationship with Ally Day. Are you going to tell me you’re dating Anna O’Leary?”

Layton laughed merrily. “No, I’m not dating anyone, but I’m trying my luck with Samantha Wright. You met her, kind of, when you came home on Friday. I like her, and we went on a date just before Uncle Harry died. I’m hoping we can go out on another one soon. She’s pretty great.”

I smiled. “I’m happy for you, Lay. I’ll have to get to know her.”

“You will,” he said, and smiled.

I hugged him again, bursting with joy that things were really okay between us.

“Layton? Lane?” Lochlan called out. “Come on, we’re leaving.”

We were heading to the family solicitor’s office to hear my uncle’s will. We hadn’t been to my uncle’s house yet to start organising it and clearing things out, and we couldn’t until we heard the will. He might have wanted his belongings donated someplace or items sold and the money donated to charity. Our hands were tied until we heard what he wanted for the future of his possessions.

I drove with Lochlan and Layton into town, and we got there the same time as our parents and nanny. We were expected and didn’t have to hang around the waiting room, so we all filed into the solicitor’s main office. My brothers an
d fat
her g
ave us women th
e chairs, and they sat on the windowsill behi
nd us.

“Nice to see you again, Jeffery,” my father said to the solicitor when he entered the office.

We each shook hands and introduced ourselves. He already knew everyone but me.

“Thank you all for coming. In light of recent events, I want to offer my deepest condolences to your family. Harry . . . he was more than a client; he was a friend, and I’ll miss him greatly. I hope that after today you can find a sense of peace.”

Jeffery looked directly at me when he finished speaking, and I couldn’t respond, so my nanny did in my place.

“Thank you, Mr Twomey,” she said, smiling warmly. “We’re still in a state of shock and are somewhat beside ourselves, but we greatly appreciate your kind words.”

Jeffery bowed his head and smiled before he moved around his desk and seated himself behind it. He lifted up a thin brown folder that had my uncle’s name stamped onto the cover in thick bla
ck ink.

“Harry’s will is very simple,” he began. “The simplest will I have ever drawn up for a client.”

I blinked. “That’s good, right? Less paperwork for us to comb through.”

Jeffery chuckled. “I believe he used similar words when we were in talks for his will.”

I grinned. “That’s my Uncle Harry for you.”

Jeffery opened the folder. “I know it was a trip to come into town to see me, but this will be a very quick meeting. The contents of the will for Mr Harry Larson are as follows: his house and all of his belongings, everything in his possession and name, has been left to Miss Lane Edwards, his niece.”

He rattled off my address and other legally accurate information, but my mind stopped working after he said my name. I looked up at Jeffery, my eyebrows raised in shock. “I’m sorry; I think I misheard you. Can you repeat that, please?”

Jeffery clasped his hands together. “Everything that Harry owned has been left in your name, Lane. His money, his house, his entire estate, but only on one condition.”

I blinked my eyes and tried to process the information.

“What is the condition?” I questioned.

Jeffery smiled. “He wrote it in a letter addressed to you.”

I nodded because I didn’t know what else to do or say.

“It is also side-noted in the terms that if any family member contests the will, or Lane fails to keep to the condition, the enti
re c
ontents of the will would be liquidated for a cash sum and then donated to the fan club of the Liverpool Football Club.”

Everyone in the room gasped in horror.

We were a family that bled red for Manchester United, and any mention of Liverpool Football Club was banned in our house. It was punishable by being disowned, or perhaps even death.

Uncle Harry wasn’t messing around.

“The evil bastard!” Nanny suddenly bellowed, breaking the veil of silence that fell upon the room.

I looked at my nanny and saw that steam was practically pouring from her ears. Her hands were clenched into fists, and her lip curled in anger. I stared at her for a few more moments, then laughed. I covered my mouth with my hands and cackled until she whacked my arm.

“This isn’t funny!” she snapped. “What did he think he was playin’ at? He should burn in hell for even thinkin’ of doin’ such a thing for that
disgrace
of a club.”

That was it. My parents and my brothers burst into uncontrollable laughter, and damn it if it didn’t feel good to laugh, and to laugh with them.

“He was ensuring his condition was met.” Jeffery smiled, looking like he could barely contain his own laughter. “That’s all.”

My uncle was a bloody gem.

I shook my head, smiling. “I’m not even surprised that he’s done something like this.”

“He was very careful when we drew it up.” Jeffery nodded,
grinning
. “He got a kick out of the threat when he thought of your reactions.”

My mother grumbled to herself, “The bloody git.”

I chuckled, and so did my brothers.

“We can discuss things in detail before you choose whether or not to abide by the condition, Lane,” Jeffery said. “It is a little complex as Harry said I would have to take your word and trust you when you reply to my question.”

I didn’t even have to think about the next words that left my mouth. “I’ll abide by the condition. My uncle was a smart man, and I know whatever he wants me to do will be the right thing.
I trust
him.”

Jeffery beamed. “Fantastic. I’ll start the paperwork to have you named as the new property owner of Harry’s home, and you can decide what to do with the contents. I will need your bank
information
so I can transfer your inheritance from your uncle t
o you.”

This was surreal.

“I’ll have to email that information to you.”

“No problem,” Jeffery said, and smiled.

I zoned out for a minute or two, enough time to allow myself to comprehend the magnitude of what I’d inherited. I came bac
k t
o the present just as Jeffery, who was speaking to my nanny, s
aid, “. . . had
me draw this up after he found out about his heart
condition
.”

“Wait a second,” I suddenly gasped. “What do you mean by ‘heart condition’?”

I looked from Jeffery to the faces of my family members.

“He didn’t tell you?” My mother seemed surprised.

I stared at her. “You think I would have stayed away if I knew he’d had a heart condition? Really, Mum? Do you think that
little
of me to ever believe I’d be so dismissive of someone I love s
o much?”

My mother shook her head. “No, of course not. I just can’t believe this. How could he
not
have told you?”

She looked at my father as if he had the answer.

We all looked to Lochlan when he spoke. “Isn’t is obvious?”

“Not to me,” I quipped.

“Why didn’t Kale allow anyone to tell you about Kaden when he died?” my brother asked.

I swallowed. “Because he didn’t want me to come unless it was my decision to.”

Lochlan nodded. “Uncle Harry obviously thought the same as Kale. He knew you better than anyone, and he knew that you weren’t ready to come home, so he kept the heart condition away from you.”

I was furious.

“Why does everyone think they know what’s best for me?”
I snapp
ed.

My father sighed. “Because
you
don’t know what’s best for you, darling. If we step on your toes, it’s because we want to hel
p you.”

I knew that was true, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating.

“What was wrong with him?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.

My mother answered me. “He had coronary artery disease.”

I sucked in a pained breath. “Did . . . did you all know he would die?”

If they said yes and still had never contacted me to tell me,
I di
dn’t know what I would do.

“No,” Layton said. “We didn’t. We all only found out about it a few months ago because he had some chest pains here and there. He changed his diet, took on different medication in order to lower t
he r
isk of a heart attack, but none of it worked. He refused a procedure to try and remove some plaque because he didn’t want to be stuck up in a hospital. You know how much he hated them.”

“I can’t believe this,” I murmured. “I had no idea.”

“This is a lot to process for you, Lane. Take a minute,” Layton said.

My nanny placed her hand on mine. “The will is done with. You said you’d abide by the condition to keep everything. You don’t have to stress about that; we can get in and clear everything out at any given time. There’s no rush on it.”

“Unless,” Lochlan murmured, “you plan on selling and moving back to America.”

He wasn’t being rude; he was just stating one of my options.

“Do you all think New York is the best place for me?” I asked, my eyes pleading for honesty. I needed some guidance, and the usual two people I sought it from – my best friend and uncle – were gone from this earth.

“No, I don’t think it is,” my mother answered. “I’m not just saying this because I want you to come home, but you’ve been there for six years, and I saw the moment that you looked at Kale in the parlour the night you came home that nothing had changed for you. Whatever you thought would be solved by moving to America hasn’t changed. You still love him.”

She’s right,
I thought.
I do still love him.

“I’m really confused, and I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “You’re right, Mum: I do still love Kale, but things are even worse than they were before. He lost Kaden and Drew, and in a lot of ways he lost me too. I’ve changed, and so has he. I don’t want to cause any more hurt. What if being here makes everything worse?”

“What if it doesn’t?” Layton questioned.

My shoulders sagged. “That’s a pretty big ‘if’, Lay.”

He nodded. “It is, but what do you have to lose?”

“Nothing,” I replied.

“Exactly,” he stated. “If nothing comes of you and Kale, at least we will all be here for you. You won’t be alone again, and you’ll never have to go to bed questioning if you’ve done the right thing. You tried being away, and it didn’t help. It’s time to be here and see what happens.”