Untangle My Heart (Tangled Hearts) (28 page)

She acknowledged this with tears running down her face, and despised her weakness for wanting a family of her own…and love. The kind of love that was stronger than what she had felt for her husband.

Mario was her high school sweetheart. They’d been together since the summer before junior year, and were each other’s first lovers. While the sex had been good, she’d had nothing to compare it to.

More experienced now, she could say without a doubt her sexual liaisons to date paled in comparison to her time with Edward. He could arouse her with just one look or a slight touch on her arm. Their lovemaking was never dull. Sometimes it was rough and desperate, other times slow and tender until Kate thought she’d lose her mind.

Last night, their passion was every girlhood fantasy come true. She’d never felt so cherished and, dare she say, loved. Edward had never spoken the words, but she felt his love with every kiss and stroke of his hands.

Now he was gone. And while he claimed he’d be returning, Kate didn’t think he’d be coming back to her. No, she was certain once he separated himself from their fantasy world, he’d come to his senses and realize that being with her and Lucas wasn’t what he wanted.

Like Clara, Kate had awakened from the dream…and found herself alone.

****

Kate’s first conscious thought the next morning was of being shaken.

“Kate, wake up,” Meghan whispered.

With reluctance, Kate opened her eyes and stared into the concerned pair of her best friend.

“I’m awake,” Kate said, and stretched along the couch.

“I was worried when I came down and saw the tree lights on. Then I saw you sleeping here. What’s wrong? Did Edward and you have a fight?”

Kate sat up higher on the couch but didn’t attempt to get up. She flinched at his name being spoken.

“Not exactly a fight. He’s gone.”

“Please tell me he went to the bakery down the street. I’m starving and would kill for a cinnamon roll,” Meghan said, rubbing her stomach.

Kate gave a half-hearted smile. Meghan’s face exuded radiance, and Kate didn’t think it had anything to do with her friend’s pregnancy.

“If you’re like me, you’re always extra hungry after morning sex, especially in your condition, little mommy,” Kate said. She folded her legs up so Meghan could sit on the couch beside her.

“You’re changing the subject. Edward didn’t go to the bakery, did he?”

Kate studied her knees before looking into Meghan’s eyes. “No. He left town.”

“What? Where did he go?”

“Vegas. He found out about the adoption and needs some space to think things over. Translation, he can’t handle me adopting Lucas and is dumping me.”

“Oh, Kate, I don’t believe that. He’s probably confused and needs some time. Did he end things between you?”

“Not in so many words. But come on, Meg, this is Edward we’re talking about. He’s not exactly Mr. Commitment.”

Meghan absentmindedly rubbed her stomach. “While that may have been true in the past, he’s been completely different since moving to New York, especially in the weeks since you’ve been together.”

“Yeah, well, I guess he got it all out of his system.” Kate stood, walked over to the fireplace, and pressed the button to ignite the gas flame.

“You know that’s not true,” Meghan replied.

Kate grabbed a pillow and dropped back onto the couch, hugging it to her chest. “No, I don’t. I didn’t ask him for anything. I was very clear that I plan on raising Lucas as a single parent. There was never any pressure for him to be worried about me expecting a marriage proposal.”

“Maybe that’s not what he wants.”

“What man doesn’t want no-commitment sex?”

Kate felt a hand on her arm and looked up at her friend.

“A man who wants to be loved and is afraid of being rejected. You do love him, don’t you?”

Kate sighed. “Against my better judgment, yes. I love him.”

Saying it out loud made it all the more real. She brushed away the fresh tears that slid down her cheeks.

Meghan hugged her. “I knew it. Now we just have to think of a way to get him to realize he loves you too.”

Kate pulled away and shook her head. “I’m not going to force him to love me. He either does or he doesn’t.”

“What if he does and he can’t tell you, or is afraid to?”

“Then he’s an idiot and I’m better off without him.” Kate wiped at her eyes and jumped to her feet. “I’m sorry, Meg, but I can’t be optimistic like you. I have more than just myself to consider. There’s Lucas.”

It was one thing to have her heart broken, but she’d be damned if she’d allow Edward to get Lucas to love and trust him, and then take off. The urge to protect her son from more heartbreak than he’d already known overwhelmed her.

“Of course you want what’s best for Lucas. I’ve seen the two of them together and Edward is wonderful with him. For a man who didn’t have a close family life, Edward’s very patient and loving with the boy.”

“He is, but it’s completely different when you’re responsible for a child. Everything you say and do has an influence on the kind of person that child will become.”

“Which must be very scary for a man like Edward, who had such poor role models in his life.”

“I agree. That’s why I can’t…I won’t pressure Edward. It needs to come from him if this is going to work.” Kate stood. “And honestly, Meg, I don’t see that happening.”

“What can I do?” Meghan asked, rising.

“Let me know if you hear of any two-bedroom apartments that are available to rent. While Edward pisses away his life doing God knows what in Vegas, I need to move forward with mine, and that includes finding a bigger place to live.”

A new place would be a fresh start to her life with Lucas, Kate thought later as she climbed the stairs to get dressed. A place free from her memories of Edward and one where she could focus on her family and not what would never be.

****

Edward saw Charles’s name flash across the screen of his phone and sighed. His brother had been calling incessantly for the past two hours. Edward figured it was past time to deal with him.

“Yes,” he snapped into the phone.

“It’s about bloody well time,” Charles said with noticeable impatience.

“Sod off,” Edward said.

“Someone needs to talk some sense into you,” Charles said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know damn well I’m referring to you running off to Vegas to avoid Kate.”

“I didn’t run off. I need some time alone to get perspective, and coming to Vegas allows me to monitor the Morrison account.”

“That’s bollocks. I know what kind of perspective is available in Vegas. I hope you’re not going to do something foolish,” Charles said.

Edward could hear the condescending tone in his brother’s voice and hated that everyone always assumed he would do something reckless.

“Glad to see you have some confidence in me,” Edward replied and poured himself a whiskey from the hotel mini-bar.

“Tell me what’s going on. Why did you leave?”

Edward considered telling his brother to piss off, but felt a pang of guilt. He knew Charles was only trying to be there for him.

“I’m presuming you’re aware Kate plans to adopt Lucas.”

“I just heard. It’s really bothering you?”

“Of course it is. I mean, we just started dating and now she’s going to be a mother. That’s a pretty huge change in our relationship.”

“Lots of other single mothers date. What makes you think Kate can’t too? She’s not pressuring you to marry her, is she?”

“No. She made it very clear she’s not looking for or expecting a proposal.”

“And that bothers you, doesn’t it?” Charles asked.

Sometimes having a twin who could read him so well was frustrating. Even with thousands of miles between them, they had always been able to sense what was wrong with the other.

“You know how we were raised. Our parents might have had a cold and unfeeling marriage, but they remained together for our sake.”

“Right. And you recall how wonderfully that served us all. Regardless of how our parents chose to live, things are different today. Kate is more than capable of raising Lucas on her own. So what’s the problem, unless…” Charles paused. “Do you
want
to marry Kate?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you love her?” Charles asked.

Edward was silent. His palms were clammy and he yanked at the collar of his shirt that now felt as though it were strangling him. He desired Kate. That’s about the only thing of which he was sure.

“I’m certainly in lust with her, but love…that’s a big step. Did you know you were in love with Meghan immediately?”

“I was undoubtedly attracted to her, but since she convinced me we could only be friends, I spent the early time getting to know her. As I did, I realized no one had ever made me as happy, and that was before we became lovers.”

“Well, that doesn’t apply to Kate and me as you’ll recall. I picked her up in a club. I had only planned on a one-night stand.”

“That lasted for three weeks before you returned to London. Why was that?”

“She was fun and great in bed,” Edward replied, knowing he wasn’t completely being honest with his brother.

“So you didn’t have any regrets when you returned to London?” Charles asked.

“I wouldn’t say regrets, as much as I was going to miss the regular sex.”

“You’re such an insensitive prat. Sometimes I don’t know how we could have shared the womb together.”

Edward rubbed the back of his neck, now tight with tension. “Fine. I might have missed Kate when I returned to London.”

“Did you sleep with anyone between the time you returned to London and moved to the States?”

“No, but things were really busy with the drama of Mother’s financial solvency.”

“Did you have any expectations of resuming your relationship with Kate once you decided to move to the States permanently?”

“I certainly wanted to resume our sexual relationship. I spent the entire first month I was here trying to get her to go out with me. If it wasn’t for her family’s new restaurant, we probably never would have gotten together.”

The conversation had given Edward a headache. He scowled into the whiskey.

“Answer me this, how would you feel if Kate wasn’t in your life anymore, if you couldn’t see her face every day?”

“I don’t know.” Now he was lying not only to Charles but also to himself.

“When you figure that out, you’ll know if you love her.”

Edward hated that his brother could be so logical about everything. Charles had been open to loving someone, which made it easier for him to give and accept being in love. But it was different for Edward—he’d never thought much of getting married...until now.

****

“This one has possibilities, don’t you think, Meg?” Kate asked as they looked at the third apartment that morning.

Meghan sat on one of the chairs, a weary look on her face. “It’s not bad, but what about the school district? It’s not the best.”

Kate frowned. “I know. The problem is I can’t afford a place in those neighborhoods. I guess I could bus or train Lucas to one of the better schools, but that may be a pain.”

“I wish you would at least look at the brownstone down the street from me. The owner needs to sell quickly and may be willing to cut you a deal.”

“It would have to be quite a huge deal for me to afford to live in your neighborhood. Thanks, Meg, but that’s never going to happen.”

“Well, we’ll just have to keep looking, then.”

“You look exhausted. I think this is it for you today. Let’s grab lunch and you can go home and take a nap,” Kate said.

“I’m fine, really.”

“Do you think I want Charles on my ass if I tire you out?”

Meghan sighed. “You’re right. I really could use a nap, but I feel guilty every time I take one. I’m not used to lounging around.”

“You’re carrying not only one, but two precious cargo. Don’t feel bad about resting, because once they’re born, you can kiss all forms of rest goodbye.”

“Charles wants us to get a baby nurse, but I’m not sure. My mother never had any help. If she could do it with half the conveniences we have today, then I should be able to as well,” Meghan replied.

“My mom did, too, but Charles grew up with servants and governesses. He’s used to that.”

“I know. It just doesn’t feel right.”

“Maybe you don’t need to get a live-in nanny, just someone who comes by each day and helps with the wash, and the diaper changing. You will be exhausted, especially with two kids screaming for you to feed and change them.”

Kate remembered the round-the-clock feedings and never-ending laundry. She wouldn’t have changed anything, but it was tiring. Sometimes she could barely stay awake during dinner.

Just then Meghan’s cell phone rang.

“It’s Mark,” she told Kate. “Hi Mark…What!...She’s in labor…now!...Oh my God… Yes, Kate and I will be right there.” She disconnected.

Kate had already jumped to her feet and was heading toward the door. “I know twins often are born early, but isn’t this a little too early?”

“I sure hope not after all Karen has been through with the miscarriages before this pregnancy,” Meghan replied. “I need to let Charles know.”

“You can call him from the cab,” Kate said. “Guess you’re not getting that nap.”

Chapter Twenty-One

“Oh, they’re so beautiful,” Meghan crooned to a breast-feeding Karen.

“Congratulations, Kar. They’re gorgeous,” Kate said.

Despite the early delivery, the twins were bigger than anyone expected, around four pounds each. Lord knows how large they would have been if they went full-term. And based on the louds cries they’d heard when they walked into the room, both pairs of lungs were fully developed.

“Thanks. They are pretty amazing. The nurses weren’t sure if I would even be able to breastfeed them, but Colin here doesn’t seem to be having any trouble,” Karen said.

Mark caressed his son’s head. “Only a couple hours old and already an expert at the breast; makes a dad proud.”

A wail came from the matching crib.

“I’ll get her.” Meghan lifted Abby and cradled her close. She walked over to Charles, who stood on the other side of the room, avoiding the whole breastfeeding scene.