Untamed (Vampire Awakenings, Book 3) (15 page)

With her gone, he became steadily aware of
the solid thumps of the hearts surrounding him and the spicy
metallic scent of the blood pulsing through the veins so close to
him. He hadn't realized just how much she drowned out the human
odors and sounds when she was near. Even when he was under control,
there was never a time when he was unaware of the walking
temptations surrounding him. When she was with him, it was as if
the rest of the world ceased to exist. He knew that the walking,
talking, bodies of warm blood were still around him, but he didn't
care about their existence.

But now he could feel the darkness creeping
steadily through his system, teasing him with its promised words of
release and satisfaction. If he would give in just once, it would
all go away, but even as he thought it he knew that he was wrong.
It would never go away; it would only claw at his insides until he
was out hunting and killing every night in order to satisfy his
insatiable thirst.

It would go on until he became one of the
monsters confined to the shadows as every death made the sun even
more unbearable for him, and made crossing water increasingly
difficult. Until he reeked of the garbage scent he and his siblings
had detected on the vampires that had tried to kill them. He'd
never be able to hide his dirty secret from his family then; they
would know what he was, what he had become, and they would never
accept him. They would love him for eternity but they would never
condone his actions. He would be on his own, a monster adrift in
the world until someone, or something finally put him out of his
misery.

Ethan's hands fisted, he inhaled a deep
breath and focused on the ocean as he tried to regain control of
himself. Emma shut out the world when she was with him, but it was
now louder than it had ever been before he'd known her. It would be
so easy to stand up, talk to the first person he saw, slip away
somewhere quiet and just give into the bloodlust within him. He may
even be able to do it before Emma returned.

Sweat beaded across his brow as his
fingernails dug into the flesh of his palms. He could feel the
blood welling up from the gouges he had created but even as he
pulled the flesh back it was knitting itself closed again. Right
there
was a man that was so close;
Ethan could have him out of here in seconds. His fangs began to
tingle; his mouth was watering as a ringing began to sound in his
ears. All he could think about was finally giving into the impulses
that he had been denying for so long.

He was getting ready to put his feet down and
go to the man when a small hand settled on his forearm. In an
instant the world went still again, the pounding beat of his heart
eased, and his fangs retracted into his gums. He found himself able
to breathe again as calm settled over him and he turned to face
Emma.

She smiled at him as she sat on the chair
across from him again. She went to remove her hand but he seized
hold of it. After what had just happened, he couldn't lose the
contact with her again. A small trail of his blood smeared the back
of her knuckles; he wiped it hastily away with his thumb before she
could see it. The fact that he had left that trail, that he had
sullied her in even this small way with what was inside of him made
him feel dirty and unworthy, but he still couldn't bring himself to
release her. He was terrified of what he would become if he
did.

Emma waited outside the store for Ethan to
purchase the chess set for his father. From somewhere down the
street the sounds of calypso music being played could be heard. She
couldn't help but hum and tap her foot as she examined some pretty,
hand painted bottles set up in the window of the store. She lifted
her head and spotted Ethan at the cash register, she waved to him
when he looked up and caught her staring.

He smiled at her before turning his attention
back to the cashier. His gaze kept going surreptitiously to Emma as
he waited impatiently for the woman to ring up his items. Knowing
that Emma was right there helped him to keep his cool, but the
world was closing in on him again. He wiped away the sweat that
beaded across his forehead and wrapped his hands around the
counter.

"Is there anything else you would like?" the
woman inquired and touched his arm flirtatiously.

Ethan jerked away from her repulsive touch
and glanced up at Emma again as she wandered a little ways away
from the store.
Stay in sight,
he
pleaded silently. "No," he grated at the saleswoman, hoping that
the tone of his voice would dissuade anymore of her interest and
spur her into action. The woman eyed him uncertainly; Ethan took a
deep breath as she finally turned to complete his purchase.

As the song ended, Emma turned back toward
where the motorcycle was parked. She didn't want this day to end
but she was looking forward to getting back on it with him again.
He appeared in the doorway of the store and held his right hand out
to her as he shifted the bag into his left hand. She took hold of
it and followed him the few steps down the street to the
motorcycle.

He put the chess set into the saddlebag and
helped her with the helmet again before settling onto the seat.
Feeling a little more confident this time, she climbed on behind
him and slid her arms around his waist. Heat encompassed her as she
pressed her breasts against his back. She flattened her hands on
his stomach and felt the ridges of his muscles beneath her hands as
he started the bike and pulled away from the curb.

She rested her cheek on his back as she
watched the water and scenery go by on the narrow, winding roads.
She savored the power beneath her legs and the strength of the man
in front of her. Leaning back in the seat, she could no longer
resist the urge to throw her arms out to the side as they drove
through a less crowded stretch of road.

She laughed as the wind blew over her face,
tickled her skin and plastered her clothes to her. It felt as if
she were flying, as if she were free of herself and could do
anything that she wanted in this world. Her head tilted back as a
gleeful shout escaped her. The last of the lingering tension and
fear she'd been feeling over Tristan vanished like dandelion fluff
in a storm. She was moving on, she was living life in a way that
she never had before and it was the greatest thing she'd ever
experienced.

She was still laughing as she lowered her
arms and wrapped them around him again. "Feel better?" he asked as
he briefly turned his head to look at her.

"I feel wonderful!" she cried. She hugged him
even tighter as they entered an area of the island that she
recognized as being close to where she was staying.

He turned down a couple of side streets
before stopping in front of her house. Emma held onto him for a
second before reluctantly releasing him. Sliding off of the bike,
she reached up to pull the helmet off but he was already taking
hold of the strap. "I had fun today," she told him.

He smiled down at her as he removed the
helmet and placed it on the seat. "Good that means you'll go to
dinner with me tonight."

"I don't know, you might get sick of me," she
teased as she bumped his hip.

"Never." It was the way he said the word with
such conviction, more than the actual word itself that caught her
attention and caused her to flush with pleasure. "But I would like
to change my clothes first."

"So would I."

He wrapped his arms around her waist as he
bent to give her a kiss and lifted her up as he straightened back
up to his full height. She loved the way he made her feel so small
and yet so protected at the same time. He bent her back and kissed
her deeply before setting her on her feet again.

Still more than a little dazed from his kiss
when he released her, she took an unsteady step back. "I'll see you
in a couple of hours?" he asked.

"Ok."

Turning on her heel, she shot a smile over
her shoulder at him when he lightly slapped her behind. She was
practically skipping up the steps to the house when she heard the
bike fire up again and pull away from the curb. Opening the door to
the house she stepped inside to find Mandy reading in the living
room and Jill on the computer. They both focused on her as she shut
the door.

"Did you have fun?" Jill inquired.

"A blast," she admitted as she hurried down
the stairs.

Jill grinned at her as she closed her laptop.
"Well you definitely did something right last night."

Emma froze as she frowned questioningly at
her friend. "What are you talking about?"

Jill pointed into the kitchen. Emma leaned
around the doorway to see what it was her friend was talking about.
Her mouth dropped open when she spotted the massive bouquet of
colorful flowers sitting on the table.

"Those are for me?" she blurted as she
approached the flowers. She recognized a half a dozen birds of
paradise in the bouquet but that was where most of her
identification skills came to an end. There had to be at least
three dozen flowers in the blue vase.

"Our names weren't the ones on the card,"
Mandy said as she approached.

Emma pulled the card from the plastic holder
at the edge of the vase. All it had was her name typed on it. "I
can't believe he did this," she muttered.

"You deserve flowers and that boy knows it,"
Mandy said.

"Or maybe he couldn't believe that
you
did something," Jill
teased.

Emma rolled her eyes at her friend and shook
her head. She was smiling though as she leaned forward to inhale
the heady scent of the flowers. Yes, she could definitely lose her
heart to him, she decided.

***

"Ethan." He had known that Stefan was in the
doorway before he even spoke. "Can we talk?"

Ethan glanced over at him as he tugged a
clean shirt over his head. His hair was still damp from his shower
but it would dry soon enough. "Come in." Stefan glanced behind him
before stepping into the room and closing the door. "Where's
Isabelle?"

"Outside, on the phone with your mom."

"She'll be busy for awhile."

"She will." Stefan agreed as he walked over
and sat in the chair in the corner. "So are you ready to tell me
what's going on?"

"I thought we'd already had this
discussion."

"I'm not talking about Emma being your
possible mate. I'm talking about
you
. Isabelle always thought you were like her,
and were just trying to avoid being mated, but that's not the case,
is it?"

Ethan studied Stefan as he leaned against the
bureau. If anyone would have any understanding about what he was
going through, what was inside of him, it was Stefan. "No, it's
not," he admitted. Stefan's steady gaze was focused upon him as he
steepled his fingers before his face and waited for Ethan to
continue. "It's the blood."

Stefan dropped his hands down. "The
blood?"

"The
humans
.
Even when I was in high school I knew I was different from my
siblings, my parents, and even The Stooges. They were able to be
around humans with far more ease than I was, and even enjoyed them
more than I did. There was always this hunger for them inside of
me, this yearning to
taste
them,
even before I reached maturity."

"And when you reached maturity?" Stefan
prompted.

"And then, unlike the rest of my family, it
became almost unbearable for me to be around humans without wanting
to kill every single one of them."

The subtle rise in Stefan's eyebrows was the
only reaction he had to his blunt statement. "Have you talked to
your brothers about this? They may not have hit maturity yet but
they might be experiencing the same thing as you without you
knowing it."

"No, they're not like me Stefan; you know
that as well as I do. You've been out with Aiden and Ian, they're
more than happy to be in the clubs with humans or at college living
among them. They can feed directly from a human; I've never trusted
myself to do it. Maybe some of my younger siblings might feel this
way, but I've been watching them and I don't think they do."

"You've never fed directly from a human
before?" Stefan inquired.

Ethan took a deep breath as he braced himself
to reveal something he'd never revealed to anyone before. "Until
recently I'd never done
any
thing
with a human before. Blood bags and vampire women were my only
experience. Since high school I've had only minimal contact with
the human race. I've gone to great lengths to keep that fact hidden
from everyone."

"You've done well at it; I never suspected
anything like that." Stefan stared at him before he rose to his
feet and walked over to the balcony doors. "I've always believed
that some of us are just more twisted when we're changed," he said
thoughtfully. "I most certainly was and so was Brian. Your father
and The Stooges weren't though. It would only make sense that
certain purebred vampires would also have that malevolence within
them when they're born. I don't think it makes us evil but I do
believe it makes us more susceptible to becoming murderers that
thrive on human life. You've had to deal with this your whole life
though and you haven't given into it, just because it's in there
doesn't mean that it rules you."

"The thirst, sometimes..." Ethan broke off as
he shook his head. "Sometimes I don't know how I haven't killed
every
human in a room before."
There had been times when the image of it had been so vivid in his
mind that even after he'd shaken it off, and looked around to find
everyone still alive, it had still taken him a few minutes to
convince himself that he wasn't covered in blood and that they all
had their throats intact.