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"Hey, Brooke?"

I turn my head toward Alex’s voice, "Yeah?"

"Are you thinking about him? Is that why you couldn’t
sleep?"

Is she asking about Dylan
?
How
could she possibly know?
"Him?"

"Trevor. He told me what happened Thanksgiving night."

Wow, do I have a guilty conscience or what? "It wasn't that
big of a deal. Everything’s fine.”

"I hope so. I guess I understand that you don’t have feelings
for him like that, but I can’t lie and say I wasn’t hoping that maybe you could
try. He and I talked before Thanksgiving, and he admitted that he would like to
try a relationship with you now that you’re both single. He wanted to before,
but he thought you were serious about Will since you two were together so
long.”

"It's never gonna happen, Alex. I just don't see him that
way."

She laughs, "I get it. So can you forgive him and me for
pushing it?”

I smile, "I already have. As long as it never happens again,
I'm good."

“Good. See you in the morning.” After several moments, I can tell
she’s finally fallen asleep. One thing about Alex, it doesn’t take her long to
drop off, and when she drops off it’s nearly impossible to wake her up.

Of course, sleep doesn’t come for me tonight either. By 2, I
pretty much give up and give in to the urge to text Dylan. I don’t expect him
to be awake or text me back, but I feel the need to reach out to him anyway. I
open a new message and send a simple, quick text.

Me:  Merry Christmas, Dylan.

I set the phone on the table and hope getting that off my chest
will let me relax and sleep. That gets blown to hell when seconds later my
phone buzzes with a text.  I pick it up slowly; my hand is actually shaking
with anticipation.
Jesus, get it together, Brooke!

Dylan: Merry Christmas, Brooke
.

Holy shit.
Was he up, or did I
wake him? For him to answer so quickly, he had to have been looking at his
phone at the moment I sent the message. Was he expecting a text from someone?
Maybe he was waiting for a text from me. 
Do guys over think this shit as
much as women do.
Probably not. A woman wouldn't have replied so quickly
for fear of seeming desperate and needy.

Me: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

Dylan: I was up playing Santa.

I smile.

Me: Aw. I'm sure that was fun. I hope you guys have a great
Christmas.

Dylan: You too, Brooke. I'll see you soon.

I wish I were seeing him sooner. When my boss told me we were
moving to bi-weekly meetings, I didn't feel excited at all. All I could feel
was a disappointment, which for someone who’s such a devoted social worker is
just sad.

Me: Goodnight, Dylan. See you on the 5th.

Dylan: Wish it were sooner.

Me: Yeah.

I do finally fall asleep, but it’s restless because now I remember
every delicious moment of the last time I saw him.

The next morning breakfast is a huge affair before we gather around
the tree to open presents. I’m present, but I’m not there though I smile, nod,
and thank everyone in at all the appropriate times. I wish I were in Overland
Park around the Christmas tree with Dylan and the kids.  I would give anything
to see them open their gifts and then go help at the homeless shelter. I smile
at that thought. This being the first Christmas without their parents, I’m
hoping that doing something different will ease the pain some for them.

After the mess from opening, presents is cleaned Alex heads to the
shower.  Her parents head to the kitchen to get everything ready for Christmas
dinner.  This year the theme is going to be seafood to commemorate their first
year in Florida.  That’s another Christmas tradition; each year dinner consists
of a different food theme. It’s because us kids were sick of turkey by the time
Christmas rolled around. While they do that I go to the ever present game
table, this family couldn’t live without one, and start setting up the first
game.  I pick trivial pursuit because Alex always gets her ass kicked.

 Trevor follows me, but I refuse to shy away if he wants to have a
discussion about Thanksgiving.  "Brooke, can we talk a minute?"

I turn to him, "Sure."

He looks nervous, so not Trevor. "I never really apologized
for what happened, and I just want to say I'm sorry. I care about you and don't
want this to hurt our friendship. I don't know what I was thinking acting like
that with you."

I smile and tease him a little, "Yeah, I can’t imagine what
you were thinking either.”

"I was acting out of curiosity. Now, no more curiosity. It’s
all been cleared up.  We’re family.”

I shake my head, but can't help laughing. "Yeah, we are.”

He smiles and reaches in to start helping me set up the game. 
Just like that, just like siblings, everything is back to normal.

After a Christmas dinner of crab, shrimp, oysters, lobster, and
some fish I had no idea even existed we gather around the game table to begin
our first round of Trivial Pursuit.  Alex tries to beg off by saying she needs
a nap, which is to be expected, but there’s no way any of us is letting her
duck out.  Times like this make me grateful that I’m part of this family. It’s
because of them I have some idea of what family interaction is like. I’m not
naive enough to think that all family dynamics work like this, I am a social
worker, but I know how a happy family interacts and lives. Without them it
would have always been just me and my grandmother, who was an awesome woman,
but even when I was a very small I always dreamed of a large family with two
parents and lots of brothers and sisters.

I smile as I think of Dylan and his family. I wish I could say
that everything I’ve done for them or the reason I’m so engrossed in their
lives is because they are everything that I’ve ever wanted, sadly minus the
parents, but I would be lying. I have quite a few families on my client list
who are large, some happy and some not, some rich and some poor, many with far
less baggage than Dylan’s and many with far worse circumstances.  But it’s the
Monroes who I think about, who I dream of, and who I put forth extra time and attention
for. I have no worry of wanting to cross any professional lines with any family,
but them which is no secret has happened quite a few times. I entered this
profession to make sure that every family out there had someone in their corner
fighting for them because I didn’t have that as a young child. And I can
proudly say that I work hard every day for each and every one of my families,
but only one would I could dinner for, do homework with, go shopping with,
share Thanksgiving Day. I should worry, because after this year with them is up
there will be no reason that we stay in each other’s lives, and that thought
slays me because now I can’t imagine them not in my life.

After Trivial Pursuit runs for a couple of hours, we all decide to
stretch out legs with a walk on the beach, because hey it’s Christmas Day in
sunny Florida which I’ve decided beats the hell out of a frigid Kansas
Christmas, although part of me loves a white Christmas.  After watching the
sunset, which alone is worth this trip, we head back in for an active round of
Pictionary. Now this is our best game; everyone’s on equal footing because not
a one of us can draw. There is a lot of cheating going on. That night I happily
succumb to sleep.

The next day Trevor leaves to join his band back on tour.  Alex
and I spend the day with Marjorie taking her shopping, out to dinner, and a long
walk on the beach. We manage to keep her positive despite the fact that her
baby boy flew out again.  Hopefully, this time, he will find time between tour
dates to visit his family without a year going by. The next day, which is mine
and Alex’s last day, we soak up as much beach time as we possibly can. We hit
the tourists’ shops, and I find myself replenishing my summer wardrobe with
some awesome beachwear.

 On Sunday morning, Alex’s parents take us to the airport to catch
our flight. After setting our bags in the Departure area, Marjorie gives each
of us a hug and makes us promise to come back down as soon as we can.  In my ear,
she gives me one last bit of wisdom. “Always choose love, Brooke.”

I smile and hold her tightly, "Thank you, Marge.”

Back in frigid Kansas, we waste no time in falling back into our routine.
That means we dump our luggage and order Chinese food for dinner before
dropping exhaustedly into bed because the next day is back to that awful time
of life also known as ‘adulthood.’.

Falling back into my routine at work is a lot harder than falling
back into being home.  Obviously, the crazies came out to play during the
holiday, which is to be expected based on studies, but really? Most of these
issues are just bullshit. But I chug, chug, chug on, like the little engine
that could.

Finally,
it’s New Year’s Eve, and
unfortunately, being the newbie, which automatically gives me the short end of
the stick, I have to work all day with just Janice and Paige to back me.  Needless
to say, the three of us are swamped with the changes in food stamps, state
insurance, and case standings that will happen after the new year begins. It’s
just before 5 o’clock, just moments until I’m out of here, and I’m ready. I
promised Alex I would go out with her to ring in the New Year, and I’m actually
looking forward to it.  I close the last folder, put it away, and starting
gathering up my stuff to take home.  When I look up, I see Janice making a beeline
to me.
Please, no.

“Brooke, I’m glad I could catch you before you headed out.”

Great.
An emergency, and I’m
the lucky one.
"I, uh..."

Out of the corner of my eye I see Paige heading in this direction.
"What's up Janice? I can help out, and I could use the overtime. Credit
cards and Christmas, you know." Paige winks at me because she knows from a
conversation we had earlier today about my plans for the evening and the fact
that I was looking forward to going.

Janice turns to her, "Great, thanks, Paige." She turns
back to me briefly and tells me to have a good weekend before walking with
Paige back to her desk.

I owe Paige big time for this. Don't get me wrong, I still love my
job. And yes, I know I just got back from a heavenly vacation, but these last
two months have been crazy at work. I'm looking forward to celebrating the New
Year with Alex with drinks and dancing. My girl scored us passes tonight to the
club Trevor played when he first got to town.

I grab my purse and haul ass out of there. When I walk in the door,
Alex is all ready to hand over her pick for tonight’s wardrobe. And Oh. My.
God. It’s perfect.  The dress is short and slinky, and the best part is it’s
all silver and shiny.  Just the kind of dress one should wear for a New Year’s
party.  I especially love how there’s very little back, and the last couple of
days in Florida, when I got to enjoy the beach without having to worry about
Dylan’s little bite marks being exposed, I did manage to get a good tan, which
has always been easy for me. But as hot as the dress is, I’m loving the
stiletto heel, knee-high leather boots. The stiletto heel is silver and just
pops with this dress.

She hands it all over to my waiting arms, “You gonna fight me on
this one?"

I shake my head, "No way, I love it all."

"Good, get dressed."

"Okay, but I have to shower.  Promise I’ll be quick.”

I wash my hair and shave my body to within an inch of my life with
my favorite new body wash I picked up in Florida. Then I slather the body
lotion that came with it all over as well.  It has some shimmery stuff that’s
supposed to make you glow in all of Florida’s sunshine. I thought it would make
me feel all Twilighty, but after I had put it on the first time, it was really
hot how it caused my skin to glow. I’m thinking it’s going to do the same thing
under the lights of the club tonight.  I put the dress on, which is seriously
hugging every curve of my body to perfection, and then I slip on the boots. 
Holy,
hell. I’m falling in lust with my damn self. And that’s without the hair and
makeup.
I am rocking sexy tonight.

I hurry to Alex’s room anxious to see how she’s going to add to
all of my hotness. Of course, she’s dressed flawlessly as always.  She inspects
me closely. “Damn, Brooke. I doubt we’ll have to buy even a single drink
tonight.”

I laugh and sit at her vanity. She leaves my hair down but sweeps
all the mass of loose curls to one shoulder, so you get the full effect of the
back of the dress. Freezing my ass off tonight is going to be worth it with the
way I look tonight.  She leaves my makeup simple because I have color on my face
from the sun, she just makes my eyes pop, and when I see the fully-finished
Brooke, I love it.

"You've done it again."

She laughs, "Well, yes. I'm a miracle worker you know; you
were hideous before.” We laugh at her ridiculous assessment while we gather our
purses and coats. We’re having a quick dinner before heading to the club.