Unscripted (9 page)

“
They took turns… raping me over the course of the afternoon and into the early evening.” Ronan gripped me tighter as the words tumbled out of my mouth. He sighed deeply and his whole body stiffened when he hear the word, “raping.”

“
I was in and out of consciousness at times. I heard them laughing at me, saw them scowling at me while their beer and vodka laced lips covered my body. I cried, and the more I cried, the more they yelled. I said no over and over, and the more I said no the harder they struck me with their fists. They beat me so badly they broke a few of my ribs, busted my lip, and fractured my cheekbone and my nose. At one point two of them took turns kicking me all the way down the hallway to the guest bathroom. Ignoring the pain in my ribs, I reached out and twisted the fingers of one of my attackers. He struck out and slammed me against the wall. The other one punched me in the chest, and I couldn’t catch my breath. Deciding not to fight back anymore, I curled into the fetal position on the tile floor. They took nearly everything from me that day, breaking me slowly, both emotionally and physically. I was tossed around like a rag doll and passed around between the four of them, being used as nothing more than a cum dispenser for their personal gratification.”

Anger washed over Ronan’s face and neck, turning white and then red. I could see he was trying to contain his emotions. He would let out a deep sigh and ball up his fists every time he heard something unpleasant, or maybe it was the vision of what was happening that made him so angry.

“
Eventually each one of them passed out from being so drunk and tired. But they woke up at different times, drinking more beer, sitting on my couch in the living room chastising me and staring at me with icy drunken glares. When the beer ran out they started in on my wine collection. They barely drank any of the bottles. Mostly they just opened all the bottles, inhaling the grapey flavors, taking a swig, saying how disgusting it was and how only little sluts drink wine. Then they would pour it out.”

I started to get a dry mouth. I grabbed my throat, rubbing it gently, and Ronan asked me if I wanted water. I nodded, and he brought me back a bottle of San Pellegrino.

“
The beating continued into the night. Finally when they were done raping me, they joked about killing me. I really thought my life was over. They propped my near lifeless body in one of my kitchen chairs, tying me up and placing grey masking tape over my mouth so I couldn’t scream. My ex took out his pocket knife and sliced a mark on my arm under my shoulder. You’ll see it looks like the letter “D.” He ran the knife down my cheek, threatening to carve his initials into my cheek or slice my neck open from ear to ear. He didn’t,
obviously
. Then each one of them took a lit cigarette and took turns marking my body in various places. They said they were branding me as the whore that I was to them. Once they were done burning me they poured alcohol on me. They mentally tortured me by clicking their lighters over and over in my ears, threatening to set me on fire.”

I took a deep breath and a sip of water. Ronan looked as wiped out as I felt. He had a look of disbelief on his face, and I saw him shake his head more than a few times.

“
My ex’s only flaw in his twisted plan was that I was supposed to be at the event at seven that evening, so when I didn’t show up by eight-thirty my co-worker and friend Brendan came to my house looking for me. Brendan saw me tied up in the chair through my window. He ran in and saved my life. My ex bolted as soon as Brendan rushed through my front door along with the two men I didn’t know. But, his friend Ron stayed and tried to fight. He was no match for him physically because of his inebriated state. Brendan rushed me to the hospital. Before we left my house, he had to dress me because I was indecent, wearing fragments of torn and bloody clothing. I begged him to help me shower and wash the alcohol from my hair. I didn’t think about the rape. I just wanted to be clean. I will never be able to thank Brendan enough. I owe him my life.”

Blowing out a deep breath, Ronan asked, “Are these guys in jail?”

I hung my head and tried to push back the sobs. Ronan would never understand what I was about to share with him. I swallowed hard saying, “No…well yes… Ron and my ex went to jail that night, but it was because they were picked up for drunk driving and drugs. I have no idea about the other two. I heard rumors they fled to Mexico to live with family.”

Confused, Ronan asked, “So what happened next?”

“
They were only in jail a few hours. Ron and my ex were given a year of community service.”

Ronan stood up from the bed, pushing a hand through his hair and saying, “Christ! Community service for rape and domestic abuse! That’s not a punishment. It does
not
fit the crime.”

“
That’s California law. Each case is different, Ronan.”

“
Wait. There is no way that would be the punishment.” He paused, turning away from me. “No, Holliday. There’s something you’re
not
telling me.” He looked back at me, calmly asking, “What are you holding back, Holliday?”

I swallowed hard, muttering, “I didn’t press charges for the rape or the beating. No jail time was served by my attackers for the crime.”

“
What? Why not? Holliday, that’s fucking stupid! Rape, that’s a serious crime!”

Tears started flowing down my cheeks. Ronan dropped to his knees beside the bed. Clutching my hands, he said, “Oh God. Holliday please, I’m sorry. Forgive me, I’m not yelling at you. Please stop crying. My heart can’t take this, seeing you cry.”

Releasing me from his grip, I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand and said, “I
know
it was stupid, but Ronan he threatened me. He said if I told anyone he’d hunt me down and find me.” I stammered a bit and then cleared my throat. “When I got out of the hospital, he paid me a visit at my house. In that moment he told me he would
kill
me. He said he knew of plenty of places in Death Valley to bury a body and no one would ever find me.”

Ronan had become angry. His nostrils flared as he clenched his teeth. Letting out a loud scream of frustration, he attempted to throw the San Pellegrino bottle against the wall, but all he did was wildly wave it through the air.

I went on to explain to Ronan how I told my mom to sell my house and that I wanted to live with Charlotte in New York City. Actually, Charlotte ordered me to come to New York City, and I was all too happy to leave California behind. I covered my face and began crying again. Once he heard my sniffling sobs he placed the bottle on the nightstand, crawled into the bed and held me. He rocked me until I finally fell asleep in his arms.

When I woke up it was a little after eight. Ronan was sitting on the bed next to me in a pair of blue pajama bottoms reading
The Hollywood Reporter
on his iPad.

“
Hey sleepyhead, how was your nap?” he inquired softly, kissing my cheek.

“
I need to get home. I have to go to work tomorrow,” I said half-dazed.

“
No beauty, you’re staying here with me tonight.”

“
Ronan, I can’t. I don’t have anything to wear. No pajamas, no clothes for tomorrow, and I don’t have any of my beauty products or my toothbrush.”

“
I called your sister, Charlotte, nice gal by the way,” he said with a wink. “I persuaded her that you would need a few items, and she packed you a bag. I also called my girl at Saks and had her put together some special items for you. Go into the bathroom. You’ll find all of the things you need to stay the night with me, and if you don’t have something let me know. I will send Dean out for it.”

My mouth dropped open. Ronan sweetly lifted my chin, pressing my lips back together and let out a soft chuckle in doing so. I slipped on a black lace silk chemise that Ronan had neatly laid out for me at the end of the bed and walked into the bathroom. He had purchased all my beauty care products, including my favorite peppermint lotion and shower gel. All the items that Charlotte packed for me were hanging neatly in the closet along with the green Burberry dress that I’d tossed aside like garbage my first night with Ronan. I opened the top drawer to find the loveliest colors of lace, silk and even cotton undies with a few matching bras.

“
Now when you stay with me you don’t have to pack a toiletries bag,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.

“
What makes you think that I would
want
to stay here with you, Mr. Connolly?” I teased.

“
Don’t you
want
to stay with me?” He frowned and gave me a pitiful although adorable pout.

Walking back to the bed I leaned over and kissed him deeply, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. He returned my kiss with the same forcefulness, finding my tongue over and over with sweeping gradual grazes. I’m pretty sure he got the message from the kiss that I wanted to stay with him. He pulled back and stared at me, those green eyes dazzling. I fisted a few of his dark locks in my hand. He must have taken a shower while I slept. His hair was still damp. I climbed onto the bed, straddling my legs over his muscular thighs. He pulled his knees up and I slid down onto his pelvis. Ronan wrapped his arms around my back while he ran his tongue the length of my neck. Soft kisses fluttered along my jawline.

“
Ronan, I need you,” I said. He grabbed my face and pressed his lips against mine, drawing my bottom lip into his mouth. Ronan began gently rubbing the scar that he’d found on my back, tracing his index finger over it again and again, sending a chill up my spine.

“
My beauty, I want to take this pain away from you. I want to rid your body of this scar. I want to rid your body of these scars too,” he said as he moved his hand in between my legs.

“
Ronan, even if we remove the scars physically, that night will still be in my memories.”

“
I hate that I can’t take this pain away from you.”

“
Ronan
please,” I said, my voice barely a whisper.

“
I just want to help you by removing the scars.”

“
Why?” I frowned. “Is it because the scars are too painful for
you
to endure?” I asked. My voice was a bit shaky. “Do I… do I repulse you?”

“
Oh, Christ no, Holliday, that’s not what I meant. I don’t want anyone to hurt you ever again. I
won’t let
anyone hurt you ever again.”

Tears ran down my face. “Why do you want to protect me Ronan? You barely know me.”

He grazed my cheek with his thumb, wiping away the tears. “I know what I feel. I know that for some amazing reason you’re the best thing that’s come into my life in a long time.” The smile faded from his lips and his face became serious. He looked at me and said, “Tell me his name.”

“
Whose name?” I said, tracing my finger along the length of his jawline.

“
Your ex.” He paused for a moment, searching my face for a reaction, and then continued. “Holliday I need to know the name of the man who hurt you.”

“
No, you don’t need to know.” I shook my head. “He won’t bother me, Ronan. He hasn’t come after me in two years, for all I know he’s forgotten all about me.”

Ronan’s dark eyes narrowed as his body stiffened. He ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep sigh. Seeing the frustration in his expression, I could tell he needed to be calmed down. I kissed the temples on his forehead gently, running the tip of my nose down the side of his cheek where his stubble tickled my lips. He gripped my hips as I began to move over him, grinding my pussy up and down the length of him, creating a delicious friction. Tipping my chin to his mouth, he brushed my lips with his. I covered his mouth with mine and began rolling my tongue against his, kissing him— it was slow and wonderful. He trailed his fingers underneath my new lingerie, slightly brushing his thumb against my clit. I let out a low moan and Ronan pulled back; his face was as white as a ghost.

“
What’s wrong Ronan?”