Authors: Micalea Smeltzer
“Neither of us is perfect, not by a long shot, but somehow, together, we are.”
~***~
“Karlie!” Jared yelled up the steps. “Hurry up! We have to go pick up Rollo!”
Karlie bound down the steps. “Rollo? Who’s Rollo? Do you have a dog?”
I laughed. “No, Rollo’s my best friend, he’s pretty much human, at least most of the time.”
Karlie laughed. “That’s a weird name.”
“His real name is Rolland,” I supplied.
Karlie’s mouth formed a perfect O. “Gotcha
. Now I get it.”
“Have you called him to let him know we’re on our way?” Jared asked me.
“Yep, he’s ready,” I said, heading out the front door.
Karlie was already climbing in the backseat of Jared’s car.
Jared locked the front door and then helped me into the car.
“Ugh, Jared?” I said as he backed out of the driveway. “What happened to my car?”
“It was damaged beyond repair. You’ll have to get a new one,” he said, heading towards the college.
“
Greeeaaat,” I drew out the word. Honestly, it wasn’t that big of a deal. My mom wouldn’t even notice the missing money from the bank account. I would, however, have to make sure and get the same car. She’d notice if I showed up at home driving something different. I chuckled to myself. Not that I planned on showing up there anytime soon.
“What are you laughing about?” Jared asked, eyes on the road.
“Nothing,” I waved his concern away with a flick of my hand.
~***~
Rollo was waiting outside, pacing along the sidewalk in front of his dorm.
Once in the car, Rollo asked, “Where are we going?”
I looked at Jared, who shrugged.
“Is Italian good with everybody?” he asked.
Nobody complained so Jared drove about a mile down the road to a popular local Italian restaurant.
Thankfully, we didn’t have to wait long.
Jared slid into the seat across from me and winked before picking up a menu.
My cast thumped against the wooden table.
Graceful, Katy, real graceful, I scolded myself.
Rollo clucked his tongue and tapped the blue plaster. “I can’t believe you got into a car wreck.”
“I can’t believe I have to wear this stupid thing,” I glared at the offensive cast, covering my arm. In a way, the pain in my ribs was more bearable than the clunky cast.
“You better let me sign it,” Rollo turned to look at me.
“I don’t want anybody to sign it,” I mumbled.
Rollo looked at me like I was insane. “Don’t make me come after you, I’m signing that thing.”
“I want to sign it too!” Karlie put her menu down on the table and leaned towards me. “I have a sharpie in my purse!”
“Who carries sharpies in their purse?”
I asked incredulously.
“Sharpies are man’s best creation. I always have one,” she said, digging around in her leather purse.
I looked across at Jared, pleading with my eyes, for him to save me.
He just chuckled and gave me a look that told me I was on my own.
Karlie pulled out a silver sharpie and handed it to Rollo.
“Give me that arm, baby cakes,” Rollo grabbed my cast.
“Rollo,” I whined, but I knew there was no changing his mind once it was made up. “Fine, at least don’t write anything offensive.”
“Who said anything about
writing
it,” he cackled.
My eyes widened. “Or
draw
anything!”
Jared snorted and hid his face behind a menu. I glared
at the plastic sheet, knowing he could feel the burn of my stare through it.
“I’m so happy you think this is funny,” I said.
Jared chuckled, still hiding behind the menu.
When he continued to laugh, I found my own lips turning up, and pretty soon I was giggling.
“All done,” Rollo grinned, letting go of the cast.
I brought it up to my
eye and read what he’d written:
I gue
ss when you kill Bambi’s mom, you have to wear a stupid cast.
Love ya,
babycakes.
-Your
bestest-est-est friend
Rollo
“Thanks Rollo, I feel the love,” I laughed.
“Just being honest,” he put the cap back on the sharpie
and tossed it across the table to Karlie.
“My turn!” Karlie said, getting ready to stand, but she was interrupted by the appearance of our waiter.
“What can I get ya’ll to eat?” he asked, pen poised against the paper.
During all the ‘let’s sign Katy’s cast’ fuss, I hadn’t decided what I wanted to eat.
When it came to be my turn, I picked some kind of Parmesan chicken thing, and crossed my fingers that I’d like it.
“So,” Rollo said, taking a sip of his Diet Pepsi, “how come you’re staying at Jared’s?”
I blushed, but was saved from answering by Jared.
“That’s my fault, Rollo,” Jared said. “I hated the thought of Katy staying at her condo by herself. She’s still hurt and recuperating. Her ribs are going to be sore for a while and the cast a hindrance, so I thought it would be better if she stayed where someone could look after her.”
“Admit it, you were just chomping at the bit to have Katy in your bed,” Rollo smirked.
Jared spewed Mountain Dew across the table. Luckily, I missed the spray.
“How’d you know she slept in my bed?” He asked Rollo. Then to me, “Did you tell him?”
I shook my head no.
Rollo chuckled and looked like the cat that ate the canary. “I didn’t, but you just gave me the answer. Baby cakes, isn’t one to… kiss and tell.”
Oh, God. This was getting worse by the minute.
I prayed for a divine intervention.
I sunk down in the booth, and wished I could sink completely under the table and hide there until dinner was over. I was officially mortified. I could feel the heat flaming my cheeks and was sure that my temperature had probably been raised a few degrees. I loved Rollo, but sometimes he just went too far.
Karlie, sweetie that she was, changed the subject back to my cast.
I leaned across the table
so that she could sign it.
When she finished,
she handed the Sharpie to Jared.
Jared skimmed his fingers over mine in a barely-there touch.
I shivered at the small contact, the hairs on my back sticking straight up.
He uncapped the pen, and stuck the end in his mouth, thinking. The pink of his tongue swirled around the tip before he finally pressed the marker to my cast.
He totally did that on purpose and I was definitely affected by it.
That fact, scared the bejesus out of me, but excited me at the same time. It meant that something, long dormant inside me, was waking up.
Jared finished, and I pulled my arm back. I didn’t dare peek at what he’d written; for fear that I might spontaneously combust on the spot.
Our dinner came and mine was actually pretty good.
Thankfully, Rollo didn’t make any more embarrassing remarks.
We dropped Rollo back off at the dorm, he gave me a look that told me he’d expect to know every juicy detail of my week with Jared.
It was getting kind of late when we got back to Jared’s house. Karlie went upstairs to take a shower and then said she was going to bed.
Jared collapsed onto the couch and I took the chair.
“There’s plenty of room for you on the couch,” Jared motioned to the empty space at his feet.
I took the spot he had indicated and immediately my heart jumped in my chest at the close proximity.
“You look like you’re deep in thought,” he said, after several minutes of silence.
I guess I was. I had been since he’d told me about his past.
How could someone go through something like that, and be so completely normal? I had let my rape eat away at me, and although my rape certainly wasn’t something to be taken lightly, I felt like Jared had, had it even worse.
I shrugged
when he continued to wait for me to say something.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, Katy. I can see the wheels turning in your head,” he crossed his arms over his chest.
I sighed and tucked my hair behind my ears. “I just don’t understand how you’re so… normal.”
Jared chuckled. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No,” I picked at a piece of lint on my jeans. “But usually people that go through something like what you did… they usually have a lot of baggage.”
Jared chuckled. “I’ve shipped my baggage
away, Katy. There’s no use in holding onto it. I know I have every right to be an angry, bitter person, but I don’t want to be that way. I
want
to go on with my life. I want to smile, and laugh, and love,” he looked at me significantly. “I can’t do that if I hold onto my past. Sometimes, you have to sever the strings of your past, Katy. You have to set yourself free.”
24
Waking up in Jared’s bed was not something I’d grow used to..
.
even if I was already sad at the thought of going back to my condo.
“Hey, beautiful,” Jared grinned, before yawning. He stretched his arms above his head, flexing his impressive
muscles. He rolled over towards me and rested his hand on top of the blanket, but over my hip. Even through the blanket, it felt like I was being seared by his touch. “You didn’t have a nightmare,” he remarked.
I jumped a little.
He was right.
I had suffered from the same nightmare every night since my rape, except for last night.
Even on nights Rollo stayed over, I still had them.
But Jared chased them away.
“You’re right,” I whispered.
He smiled and I itched to reach out and rub the heavy stubble on his cheeks and chin. “I’m glad you didn’t have one, Katy. I hated seeing you so scared.”
“You kept it away,” I said before I could stop myself.
“If there’s
anything
I can do for you, Katy, keeping that nightmare away has to be the best. I
hate
that you’ve been reliving that every night. Our dreams are meant to be an escape.” He reached out and picked up one of my curls, playing with it.
“I’ve grown used to it,” I whispered.
He let go of my hair and cupped my cheek in his large calloused hand. I stiffened at first, but then relaxed.
“It shouldn’t be something you have to deal with, Katy. You’re so
good
. I hate that something like that had to happen to you,” his thumb rubbed circles over my cheek.
I reached up and put my hand over his. “Jared, you shouldn’t have had to deal with what your dad did to you. Every
day, something bad happens to someone, somewhere and they don’t deserve it. You just have to decide if you’re going to let the bad break you… or make you. I hate that I let it break me for so long.”
“Katy, if you let it break you, you would’ve done something drastic,” his hand guided down my cheek to my chin.
I took a deep breath, preparing myself to admit my failure. “But I
did
.”
“
What did you do?” His dark brows furrowed together.
I licked my lips and sat up. The sheet dropped down to my waist. My arms were
bare, the scar easily visible. I held out my arm and Jared studied it. Confused, he sat up and turned on the light. He took my arm in my hand and twisted it in the light.
“You cut yourself,” he stated.
“I did… about a week after-” I swallowed, “-after it happened. I couldn’t deal. My mom didn’t believe me and I couldn’t go to the cops. They wouldn’t have believed me, since I destroyed any evidence in my anger.” I chuckled to myself. “Even if I hadn’t they probably still wouldn’t have. I come from a very small town, Jared, a town where everyone knows everybody and their business. Preston was… is,” I amended, “the local hero. Everybody thinks he’s good as gold and worships the ground he walks on. No one can see that he’s fake. Nothing about him is real; it’s all a show. Underneath it all, he’s sick and disgusting.”
A tear slid down my cheek and Jared immediately wiped it away.
I looked down at the scar on my arm and ran a finger over it. “It used to look different, my scar. My mom made me go to a plastic surgeon to make it less ‘ugly’. She didn’t want people to notice it, and know what I had tried to do. But they knew anyway.”
Jared gently grabbed my arm. Before I knew what was happening, his soft lips were pressed against my scar. A moan of pleasure escaped my lips.
“
Nothing
about you, could ever be ugly,” he said, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of my arm. I shivered, despite the fact that my temperature had spiked a couple of degrees. He pressed another kiss to my scar before pulling away. “I’m going to get a shower,” he said, getting out of bed. His pajama bottoms were low on his hips. He stretched and I watched the muscles in his back ripple. That, combined with his mention of a shower, had me getting all hot and bothered.