Unquenched (17 page)

I purposely wore a short black dress to highlight my shape and
legs.  I wore lusty white pearls which hung low from my neck and white pearl
earrings to match.  With black tights and heels, the outfit was complete and I
had achieved the look I had strived for.  He had never seen me in clothes that
were dressy, and not knowing where the future would take us, I wanted to make
sure he did.

"Listen, I know that you must be jet lagged, so we can go
straight back to my apartment if you wish," I offered, partly thinking of
him, but also realizing that it would give us the immediate privacy that I
desired. 

"No, I'm all right, I was actually hoping that I could do
some shopping and pick up some things for a friend," he said, very matter
of factly. 

"Oh, OK, if that's what you'd like to do," I replied,
again, burying my surprise.  "We can do that," I continued, assuming
that he wanted me to join him.  "I've made some plans for us tonight at 9
p.m., so as long as you don't need any time to rest before we go, then I guess,
we can do it all," I explained. 

All but have time alone, I thought. 
What is it that turns him
on and off
, I wondered.  I don't understand it, really!  Sometimes he
seemed as if he was on another planet and at other times, he was almost inside
of me.  I debated whether to talk to him about it, yet I feared the facts I
might uncover. 

As I struggled desperately with my conflicting thoughts, Tristan
asked me casually, and in his British tone, "Do you have a
GAP
nearby?"

Although I was still perturbed at his choice to go shopping, for a
friend no less, rather than to satisfy, what I thought had been a sense of
urgency toward me, the notion of this European man asking for a
GAP
,
somehow struck me as humorous.  Maybe I just needed to laugh. 

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is one, right near my
apartment," I declared, chuckling, suddenly feeling stronger as I decided
that I too, had a right to influence the direction of the afternoon. 

"Oh good," he responded easily, and we headed uptown
together.

By the time we had reached my apartment, we had eased into our old
ways again and were giggling, incessantly, like two little grammar school
children. 

"Come over here
Miss
, I have something I'd like to
tell you," he said with a devilish grin, motioning me with his finger to
join him on the couch. 

"No, not right now, I have some chores to do before we get
ready, so I'll be with you in about twenty minutes," I responded,
provoking him and playing a little hard to get. 

"Chores!" he exclaimed.  "This entire apartment
shouldn't take more than five minutes or so, it's not exactly the Grand
Palace!  It's now or never!" he threatened playfully. 

That was the Tristan that I knew.  The Tristan that I liked.  The Tristan
that had an aura about him that touched me deeply to the core.  But suddenly,
he relented and did not push me further.

As I glanced across the room at him, I noticed that the muscles in
his face looked strained.  He pretended to smile, but despite his facade, I
sensed that there was a heaviness about him.  There was something inside him
that tugged at him deeply.  I had interpreted his coercing as flirtatious
behavior and assumed it would have resulted in intimacy.  But as I sat down
next to him, his eyes told me that I had been wrong. 

"What is it?" I finally had the nerve to ask, since he
had opened the lines of communication.

"But I thought that you had chores to do," he teased,
suddenly looking less tense. 

"Oh, but I'm a very fast worker.  I'm already done," I
replied, playing his little game in order to make myself available to him and
hear what was on his mind. 

"Oh, too bad, you lost your chance," he said playfully.
"Maybe another time." 

But I knew what had really been lost in truth, was his courage to
reveal himself at that moment.  He managed to switch gears with refined expertise,
pretending that his response had been planned.  He tried to make me believe
that it was a missed opportunity for intimacy and fun.  But I knew definitively
that he had almost shared his secret but had lost his nerve to do it.  Had I
just walked over to him when he had asked me to, I believe he was prepared to
expose himself.  But my slight hesitation gave him just enough time to think
about his vulnerability.  I berated myself for not detecting his clues or
reading between the lines.  He needed to tell me whatever it was, and I
desperately wanted to know.  But I couldn't push him, it was obvious to me, and
I would give him the time he needed. 

"Another time is fine," I said indifferently, "I'm
not in the mood anyway," then I smiled at him, flirtatiously, letting him
know that I was.

"Tris, I'm going to jump in the shower because we have to
leave in an hour.  Are you going to shower too?' I asked him. 

"No, I showered before I met you today and I think at the
moment I'm still clean," he said smirking at me. 

"OK, I'll be out in a few minutes, make yourself at home and
there's a beer in the refrigerator if you want one," I said to him. 
"Great," he said.  "By the way, where exactly are we going
tonight?  You tried to explain it over the phone yesterday but I didn't quite
understand it.  People sing, we watch, but then we dance in the aisles?"
he inquired in a confused but interested sort of way. 

"Yeah, that sounds about right" I replied as I laughed,
not knowing how to describe a unique musical revue more explicitly. 
"Being as inquisitive as you are, I know this will be tough for you, but
please just trust me on this one.  I promise, you will love it.  The music is
great and very upbeat.  It is a show but we do dance as well.  I really don't
know how to explain it" I confessed, as we both laughed at my
frustration.  It had become my favorite place in the entire city and I wanted
to share it with him.  It was a special place, magical in a way, because it
left you light hearted and happy.  "We'll also be meeting a bunch of my
friends so please be on your best behavior and try not to embarrass me too much,"
I said jokingly.  "But don't worry," I added, "I haven't
forgotten that for you it's late so we'll only stay for a while, or until I
find you fast asleep on the table," I said, as we both laughed again.  It
was already 7:30 p.m. in the evening, so for him it was 1:30 a.m. 
"Anyway, let me get into the shower before we start running late,, I said,
happy that the air between us felt light again, despite the occurrence from
earlier.

"You look really good," he said to me after I emerged
from the shower completely dressed and ready. 

"Thanks", I responded, satisfied that he thought so
after hoping that he would. 

"You look, well, I'm not sure that "elegant" is the
correct word in English, but you look sophisticated even though you are still
dressed casually," he said, almost intrigued with the style of my
clothing. 

I wore black fitted pants that were tapered to the ankle and a
scooped neck body suit of the same black.  The loose fitted vest hung open in
the front and was stylishly cropped at the waist.  It was sexy but tasteful and
I was happy that he appreciated the look.

"Would you like a beer before we go, we still have a little
time," I asked.

 "That would be great," he agreed. "I was actually
waiting for you to have one together and held out from having one earlier." 

We sat together, comfortably, on what had now become our regular
places on the couch.  As I stared at Tristan, a feeling of need washed over me,
and without even giving it a second thought, I pulled him toward me seeking his
mouth, wanting it to touch my own.  He responded to me willingly as his body
climbed onto mine.  Within seconds, we had fallen from the couch to the teal
covered carpet.  This time he did not hesitate, as he began to unpeel my
layers.  I felt his flesh as he touched my breasts and the warmth of his mouth
upon them.  It seemed so natural, and for once, I set my mind free of all my
thoughts and focused on enjoying the moment.  I lifted his shirt to expose his
chest then took it over his head.  Our bare chests melded and generated warmth
as they rubbed together with passion.  I heard him groan with ecstasy and my
own sounds indicated that his sensual touch was fulfilling my needs as well.  It
was then that I realized I embraced anything he did because I had truly fallen
in love.

"Tris, look at the time," I exclaimed in a little panic,
but laughed in spite of it, feeling delightedly naughty.  We were supposed to
be there five minutes ago and it takes fifteen minutes to get there.  To be
continued...," I said mischievously, wanting to set the stage for later. 

"OK, I'm ready", he said, as he quickly put his shirt
back on.  We were out the door only minutes later and jumped into a cab
downtown.

"Tris, these are my friends," as I introduced him to
them, then we were asked to be seated right away. 

The show started immediately and our attention was drawn to the
stage.  There was a wonderful, funny, and animated comedian that did a pre-show
before the musical performance. 

"Do you understand the jokes?" I whispered to him,
concerned that the English contained a lot of slang. 

"Of course I do," he said with teasing sarcasm.  "Otherwise
I wouldn't be laughing."  We both laughed together at his response to me
and continued to watch the show.

As the evening progressed we all felt the music, but I felt
distant from Tristan again.  He was part of the energy and was enjoying the
show but was not connected to me.  Given our interaction before the show I
thought I might feel his emotion.  Maybe even his touch.  Something that showed
me he cared.  But I sat restrained in confusion again and did not so much as
brush up against him.

But the band that played got us all up dancing and the music was
sexy and electrifying.  It was the kind that made you want to move your body,
seductively and without inhibition.  I was dancing with my friends when he
decided to join me, and when I saw him dance, I melted.  I looked at my friend
who rolled her eyes at me, letting me know that she saw what I did.  She knew
that for me, the way that he moved, would make me yearn him more.

"This place is unbelievable," he said, "I would not
have been able to describe it either," he continued, shouting over the
music while he danced. 

And then, as I watched his hips move gracefully, he began to dance
with me, as one.  Our bodies were in sync, moving together, and I felt his
energy toward me return.  He put his arms around me, and almost predictably, my
level of enthusiasm returned too.

We danced and danced until 3 a.m. and our bodies were drenched
with sweat. 

"So, what did you think?" I later asked Tristan, knowing
from his smile what he thought. 

"It was truly amazing!  The music was wonderful and the band
had so much energy that you couldn't dislike them if you wanted to.  I really
don't think there is any place in Germany that resembles anything like
this
,"
he said. 

His last line made me laugh.  The way he said it, it sounded like
the kind of place that nobody would want to go to.  But I knew what he meant. 
It was a very unique place that made you feel alive and we all had a great time.

"So Tristan, you seem to be holding up pretty well for
someone who has jet lag," one of my girlfriends said to him teasingly. 

"Well actually, the time for me is 9 a.m. and I'm ready to
start my day," he replied cleverly, making us all laugh. 

"I don't know about you
Mr. Engler,
but I am going
home to sleep," I said happily.  "But if you would like to stay out
with my friends, please do, and I will see you tomorrow," I added, knowing
he would get the hint. 

"On second thought," he recounted.  "My eyes are
feeling a little heavy...," he said, as my friends laughed some more and
seemed to like him. 

We spoke a while longer, as I wanted my friends to know him, but
more importantly, I wanted to see how he fit in.  Tristan appeared comfortable
and handled himself well despite his jet lag.  His demeanor was confident yet
easy and fun, and I was proud to show him off to my close friends.

Four of us jumped into a cab uptown, and the others went out for
some coffee.  We all chatted aimlessly on the ride back home, and as we did, I
began to anticipate the remainder of the night.  It was late and I knew it, but
knowing that Tristan and I would be sleeping under the same roof, I wasn't
quite sure what to expect.  I wasn't sure what he expected.  Or for that
matter, what he didn't.  I only hoped that whatever expectations either of us
had, they were the same and no one would get hurt.

"Would you mind if I take a quick shower?  I don't feel quite
as clean as I did earlier," Tristan said to me as he smiled. 

"No, please do," I said, in a suggestive but ribbing
tone.  "And I think I'll take one right after you." 

With the little bit of strength that we both had left, we laughed
out of embarrassment, as we admitted and acknowledged that we were covered with
sweat.  As I heard the sound of the shower, it dawned on me, suddenly, that we
had come a long way since Indonesia.  I thought back to the little engined boat
that had taken us to the island of Menjangan.  When Tristan had only his
bathing suit on and I could not look at his bare chest.  But now it was
different.  There were no promises to keep, no guilt to bear and I looked
forward to exploring together.