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It was the largest courtroom available, and the bench seating was packed with nearly one-hundred spectators. There were no seats available, but the bailiff inside motioned for her to stand against the back wall. Even from the back, she recognized Chuck Thomas leaning back defiantly in his chair, Skip Huseman impeccably dressed by his side. She didn’t recognize the female judge sitting at the bench. She did recognize the witness, who was seated below the judge in the witness stand—Judge Matthew Bach. Hard to know what to make of that.

Barb Cloud and Jacob were seated at the prosecuting attorney’s table. Jake was questioning Judge Bach.

“How long have you been a judge?” Jake asked, still seated at the table.

“Three years.” Judge Bach was wearing a dark jacket, white shirt and dark tie. He looked distinguished, somber … different than Amanda was used to seeing him in her dreams.

“And are you still on the bench?” Jake’s voice waivered, and he cleared his throat. Jake’s voice always cracked when he was nervous. It had to be intimidating to question a judge, more so with the crowd.

“No.” There was shuffling as people reacted to this news. The former Judge Bach glanced down and clenched his jaw. As he looked back up, pain and anger seemed to have washed over his face, and Amanda was surprised how sad she felt for him.

“Could you explain how you know the defendant?” Amanda wanted an answer to why he was no longer a judge, but she sensed that would come soon enough.

“Mr. Thomas and I were teammates in high school. Hockey and baseball. We were co-captains of the hockey team. After high school, he and I had little contact until a few days ago.”

“What was the nature of the contact a few days ago, and to which day are you referring?”

Bach looked up briefly. “Actually, I ran into him about two weeks ago at the Y. He asked several questions about my personal life, and I was uncomfortable with that so I ended the conversation quickly.”

Chuck Thomas shook his head and leaned over to his attorney at that. Almost imperceptibly, Skip Huseman put a hand up motioning him to stop.

“Why were you uncomfortable?” Jake asked.

“I would say that Mr. Thomas and I were not on the best terms in high school, and he and I had … we had words when we were in school about … uh … my personal life. I didn’t know why he would ask, and I didn’t want to have that conversation with him again.”

“When you say ‘you had words in high school,’ would you say that you argued?”

“Objection. Relevance.” Skip Huseman’s voice echoed so loudly in the cavernous courtroom that Amanda jumped. “It’s also leading on top of being irrelevant.” Skip’s voice dripped with condescension and disgust.

The judge turned toward Skip. Her voice was soft but held admonishment. “Mr. Huseman. I have already established for the purpose of this hearing that there will be latitude. I have also established that if you keep interrupting, I will set maximum bail of $500,000 and that will be that.” Amanda was impressed with any judge who wasn’t afraid of Skip Huseman.

“I’ll ask again,” Jake said, his voice growing in confidence from that small victory. “Would you say that you argued in high school?”

“It was more than an argument. As co-captains of the hockey team we had to work together, but we tended to disagree frequently. Mr. Thomas wanted the team to be together on the ice and off. We were a very talented team, and we had a great chance of making it to state.” So strange to hear a man in his forties talk about his high school team like they were still a team. Amanda’s team won the state tournament, but she couldn’t imagine referring to her team like they were still a unit. She wondered who was more typical, but in this small town knew that he was.

“So what was the argument about?” Jake asked.

“In essence, he didn’t like my girlfriend.” Judge Bach shook his head and shrugged. “Mr. Thomas wanted the guys on the team to … date only certain girls. He didn’t think my girlfriend measured up. The first time he said something to me, I didn’t think he could be serious. He told me that I shouldn’t be with a girl ‘like that.’” He crossed and uncrossed his hands in front of him. “My girlfriend was like me. We were both poor, and our families didn’t have … status … for lack of a better word. Mr. Thomas thought I should be with someone with ‘status.’”

“So was that the extent of the argument?” Jake asked, quickly glancing to his right in anticipation of an objection. None came.

Matthew Bach hesitated and appeared to be composing his words carefully. “He had a party at his house after a playoff game that we had won. Chuck, er, Mr. Thomas had a lot of parties. Mr. Thomas had a girl that he wanted me to spend time with at the party, and he was angry when he realized that I had brought my girlfriend. When my back was turned, he told my girlfriend to get out of his house, but he told me that she left because she was mad at me. I knew that wasn’t true, and I knew that she didn’t have a car and wouldn’t just leave. I tried to follow her but she was long gone. I got in his face and told him I was going to be with my girlfriend no matter what. And he said …” Matthew paused, and the room grew still. “He said that I was not going to be with her, and that he was going to get rid of her.”

The room reacted with shuffling and whispers. That Chuck Thomas would make a threat like that didn’t surprise Amanda a bit. Chuck shook his head almost violently. Skip Huseman didn’t move.

“How did you take that statement?” Jake almost braced for the objection that never came.

“It was a threat. At that time I thought he meant he would start a rumor or harass her in class.”

“Did those things happen?” Jake spoke quickly, building toward something he knew was coming next. Amanda was holding her breath in anticipation.

“There was never any opportunity,” Matthew said, his face growing dark and angry. “Her house burned to the ground that night.” There was an audible gasp from someone in the room.

“Your honor!” Skip Huseman was on his feet, clearly surprised at this revelation. “This is highly prejudicial, not to mention libelous—”

“This historical information is a necessary part of the argument of why bail cannot be granted—” Jake also rose to his feet matching Skip’s volume and tone.

The judge lifted her hands and glared at both attorneys hard enough that they both stopped mid-sentence. “I will allow it in this context.” Her words were clipped, her anger apparent. Skip Huseman opened his mouth to argue again, but stopped when the judge put her hand on her gavel. Both attorneys sat back down with visible efforts to recompose. Amanda looked back at Judge Bach to see that his anger had morphed into visible sadness and regret.

“So Ju … Mr. Bach,” Jake said, rearranging his papers and seeming momentarily lost. “What happened to your girlfriend?”

“No one was hurt, but she dropped out of school and left town. That was the last time I saw her.” Matthew looked at Chuck when he said it.

“Your girlfriend’s house burned to the ground, and you never saw her again.” Amanda knew Jake repeated the words for effect. “Are you aware if there was ever any cause determined for the fire?”

Skip spoke quickly but with restraint. “Objection. Mr. Bach is not an expert on house fires and could only offer hearsay.” Jake started to reply, but she lifted her hand.

“The objection is sustained.” She offered no further explanation, and Jake looked slightly flustered but moved on.

“So now, Mr. Bach, please bring us back to the present. What did Mr. Thomas say to you a few days ago?” Jake turned around quickly to scan the room, and his eyes flickered when he saw Amanda. Now he clearly looked flustered, and Amanda wondered if she should leave.

Matthew held his hands together in front of his chin, and he also looked clearly uncomfortable. “Last Friday, Mr. Thomas was arrested for criminal sexual conduct. I signed the criminal complaint. A few hours later the County Attorney’s office dropped the charges and Mr. Thomas was released.” Amanda’s face grew hot with shame at the news that the charges had been dropped. The feeling grew as she realized that everyone in the room might soon learn that it was her fault.

Jake nodded and seemed to want to move on quickly. “Then what happened?”

“Mr. Thomas met me at my car as I was leaving my office that evening. He told me that he held me responsible for the arrest, and he was going to sue the entire county. I kept walking.” Matthew held his hands together and rested his chin on his hands. “He followed me.”

Chuck Thomas was shifting in his seat. He tried again to talk to Skip Huseman, but he raised his hand and Chuck sat back again. Jake was sitting up straight in his chair. “Then what happened,” Jake asked.

Matthew shifted in the witness stand. “He told me that the arrest ruined his reputation. He told me that I needed to make sure that everything ‘went away’ with the child protection case. I told him that I couldn’t dismiss it and I wouldn’t. Then he, uh, he just lost it.”

Jacob looked pointedly at Chuck Thomas. “Please describe what you mean when you say, ‘he lost it.’”

“Mr. Thomas got very close to me and started yelling and pointing. He said he would take care of the case by himself, but I wouldn’t like that.” Matthew was talking quickly now. He looked agitated and seemed to just want to get his words out and get this testimony over with. “Then he threatened me personally. He said that he knew about me, and why I shouldn’t be on this case. He said that he would report me to the Board of Judicial Review because I didn’t excuse myself. I told him that I hadn’t done anything wrong, but actually he was right. I should have excused myself. I told him that he needed to stop talking to me about the case or it could be considered ex parte communication.”

“Which means what exactly?” Jake asked.

“Communicating with a judge without the other parties present. But he just kept talking. He said that all of this needed to end today, and he had already taken care of a big part of the evidence.” Matthew had been talking quickly, and he slowed down again. Chuck Thomas had been surprisingly quiet and was actually looking away from the judge, staring blankly at the back wall. “He just kept saying that he knew about me. Then he said, ‘you know what I’m capable of. You need to take care of this.’ I wasn’t sure what he meant. I hadn’t thought about that fire for a long time.”

“The fire at your girlfriend’s house?” Jake glanced back around at Amanda again. At that moment, something tickled in the back of Amanda’s mind and her heart started to beat faster.

“Yes. She left town after the fire, and I graduated a few months later. I went to Alaska right after graduation to start working before I started at the university that fall. I never knew …” Matthew looked around the room and suddenly made eye contact with Amanda. He looked apologetic. “I never knew,” he said more quietly this time.

“Knew what?” Jake’s tone matched Matthew’s.

“What Chuck knew. He figured it out. He told me that he took care of the evidence this time just like he took care of my girlfriend in high school. And he said it wouldn’t stop there, and if I wanted to protect my family I needed to make everything go away.” Matthew was clenching his jaw.

“Did he specifically say how he took care of the evidence?”

“Not exactly.”

“But his exact words were, “If you want to protect your family you need to make everything go away.” Jake’s voice was louder as he made the point that Chuck Thomas had threatened the judge.

“Yes.” The former Judge Bach looked straight at Jacob. “He was very clear.”

“Then what happened?” Jake asked more quietly.

“He told me there were all kinds of ways he could get me. He knew I had a wife and young children.” Matthew’s voice grew steely. “He knew about my older daughter too.” He paused. “And then he said, “Isn’t it ironic that I got your daughter the same way I got her mom.”

Amanda’s breathing quickened before her brain could comprehend.

“Could you explain what you think he meant by that?” Jake asked quietly, glancing over his shoulder again.

Daughter?

“He knew I have a twenty-three-year-old daughter.” Matthew’s voice got quiet as he looked at Amanda with apology. “And he figured out … that she is the social worker on this case.”

The room swayed under Amanda’s feet.

Jake’s voice was faint. “Your daughter is Amanda Danscher?”

Matthew nodded and looked at Amanda, his eyes brimming with grief and pride. “Amanda Danscher is my daughter.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

Somehow the intensity of blue sky and golden warmth of the sun were soothing. Water almost poured down the boulevards the snow was melting so quickly, and the sounds of rushing mini rivers of snow melt combined with the optimistic chirp of robins. Spring brought universal relief.

All Amanda could do was drive and wipe away bewildered tears. Huge pieces of her life had suddenly dropped into place. The woman she had been remembering for months was her paternal grandmother, and she was flooded with memories of playing knee hockey in her house, “just like daddy plays.” She had given Amanda blue-and-gold pompoms because those were daddy’s colors, and Amanda could actually remember that pompom in her toybox before she and her mother moved to their trailer and got rid of all of her old toys. There had been arguments between her mom and her grandmother, and all memories of her grandmother seemed to stop by the time Amanda must have been about five.

I have a dad
. She tried to reach for some type of emotion, but everything felt muffled and confused. Amanda felt desperate for some normalcy, something to grab on to and help her feel grounded and sane. But she was homeless and possibly jobless. Even if she didn’t get fired, it would take more than she had in her right now to sort out her job. She just kept driving.

Amanda passed Dairy Queen and thought of her summer with Jake almost six years ago. Had it really been six years since her mom died? Jacob’s house was one of the first places she had ever felt safe and sane. She knew that the Mann family had saved her that summer, but she also realized now that they inexplicably loved her too. Somehow they were family. But the feelings were too much at the time for Amanda, so she ran away and started college. After two years of partying and goofing off, Amanda met Lucy. That feeling of family returned, and she hadn’t really felt lost since. It wasn’t biological, but it was still unmistakable. Lucy was family.