Read Unnatural Calamities Online
Authors: Summer Devon
Buddy, her first boyfriend. Oh God, she was grateful she had outgrown Buddy.
“Fancy that. Old Buddy,” she said without interest.
“Yup. He told me that you were the best lay he’d ever had. I thought you’d like that news.” He beamed at her as if he’d honestly thought she’d be pleased.
“Nice of him to share the news.” She shook her head. “If I was so darned hot, I wonder why he needed to sleep with that stripper I found him in bed with. That Cherchez Le Bateau.”
“Cherry la Booty.”
“Yeah, I remember her.” Actually all Janey remembered was the flaming red hair and lots of piercings—and acres of naked flesh bouncing in her bed on top of her boyfriend. “So was Buddy wasted when you ran into him and he grew all nostalgic?”
“Hell yes, we all were. Spent the whole winter in south Florida, babe. That’s living. Fishing. Drinking. Screwing. Man, you’re a fool. You don’t know what you miss in the boring shit you call a life.”
He had a gun, but she was driving so she figured he wouldn’t use it or even attempt to slap her.
“No, Zack, you’re the fool. You don’t know what you are missing.”
“Huh?”
“Your daughter. Funny that you were the worst thing to happen to Penny and me, but you gave us the best thing in our lives.”
“Hell. Buddy and I weren’t bad. We didn’t kick you out. Can’t say the same thing about that frozen turd Millie.”
Janey had her customary brief spasm of pity at the mention of poor old Mom.
Millie Carmody, the woman who should never have married. She should have taken vows of a different sort. Too bad she hadn’t been born Catholic.
At Zack’s old, familiar label for Millie, Janey could see her mother’s face clearly, puckered up tight as usual. Someone must have told Millie that plump lips were a sure sign of sensuality so she kept that sinful mouth of hers pressed tightly inward. It gave her the appearance of nervousness. As if she constantly chewed on her lower lip in fear or indecision.
Fear, Millie experienced every day of her life, fear of a God that had way too much time on his hands and used all that extra time to judge every one of her thoughts and actions. Not to mention judging Millie’s two dreadful offspring.
Yup, Millie had fear in spades. Indecision, never.
Bad as it was to be Millie’s daughter, Janey had only lately come to understand how much worse it must have been to be the woman herself. All Janey’s old anger had shifted and settled and now she felt pity, and no rage.
She said, “Poor old Mom was as clueless as you jerks. But at least she wasn’t out to screw us over.”
He snickered. “You didn’t mind at the time.”
“Yeah, well, we were fifteen. We didn’t know better.”
He mimicked her. “Yeah, well, and we were some fine teachers, you know it, babe. Fine teachers. I can’t speak for ol’ Buddy’s abilities. But I know Penny had no complaints about our lessons.”
She smacked the steering wheel with her palm, annoyed with herself, not him. Why was she bothering to argue?
“And now your life is so very fine?” he said jeering. “Crap pay with the nine-to-five crap. Trapped in that hole of an apartment in West Deadsville. No sex. I can tell, you know. Just by looking at you.”
She didn’t say anything and beat a little tattoo on the steering wheel with her fingers. She tapped in time to the silent version of “Modern Major General” that played in her head. Next to her, Toph sprawled as much as he could with his hands cuffed to the door. What would a guy like him say about Millie and her girls? She was glad he was asleep so he wouldn’t hear this conversation.
Zack wasn’t finished giving her guff.
“So what the hell, Janey? What is so bad about having a good time? Hell. I feel sorry for you. You forgot how to have fun.”
He was pushing her to get mad. One of his old favorite forms of entertainment, Janey-baiting. Funny thing, though. Since he’d lost that strange mojo over her, he’d lost his power to get under her skin—except maybe with bullets.
“Yeah, but I feel sorrier for you, Zack. You missed far more than fun when you walked away. You missed seeing Rachel grow up. There’s nothing better than that.”
“Kids are a pain in the ass.”
“Yup. No doubt about it. They are major pains.” She smiled at the thought of her sweet niece. “But just when I think I’d like to kill her, Rachel does something or says something or even just looks at me and it’s more than worth the pain-in-the-butt times. It’s like some kind of blessing. Having a kid.”
Zack groaned. “Another word and I’m going to barf all over myself.”
“Be my guest,” said Janey blandly.
She clearly wasn’t entertaining enough, or maybe Zack finally figured out he wasn’t going to annoy her. He grunted and lay back down. After a moment she heard tinkling mechanical beeps as he played the game on the cell phone he’d taken from Toph.
Janey started humming a song from her past. From the past with Buddy and all the other losers? No, never mind, thank you. She switched over to “Modern Major General” again.
Toph enjoyed listening to Janey’s soft humming, but he couldn’t keep quiet.
“Your mother kicked you out when you were fifteen?” He twisted around so he could see her face.
She turned pink. “Oh. I thought you were asleep. When we were sixteen, actually. That’s when Penny got pregnant. Millie, that is, Mom, kicked Penny out then, when I yelled—I mean, really hollered—Millie kicked me out too.”
“But. My God…I can’t imagine.”
She shook her head. “Me neither.”
He meant his own child and knew she did too. He understood now that Rachel was Janey’s child. Penny’s by birth, and maybe even in practice. But in Janey’s heart, Rachel was her child. “A blessing,” she had said. He’d never heard it expressed better.
The beeps had ended and now a quiet snore came from the backseat. Zack shuffled and mumbled something.
“What should we do?” she whispered. “I mean what should I do, since you can’t even budge.”
Toph looked out the window into the next lane and a minivan full of laughing kids. They stared straight ahead at a television screen. No help there.
He was already haunted by the image of Janey’s pale, frightened face after Zack’s shot grazed her arm. And now she wanted to attempt that nonsense again? He answered more angrily than he should have. “No. We’re not going to risk another run-in with him and that gun. That’s a revolver so he may have five more bullets he could pump into you.”
He sucked in a calming breath. Useless anger was not his style.
But she wasn’t offended by his furious tone. “You know about guns?”
“Not really. I can tell a revolver from an automatic, but that’s about it.”
“You know a heck of a lot more than I do. Must be something to do with the male chromosome.”
She glanced out the side window then checked the rearview mirror. “If I had my bag, I could use the lipstick, maybe write on the window. Help, or something.”
“Okay, if we’re going to take stupid chances, we should wait until we’re out of the car. I was thinking we could split up, take off in two different directions. He’d probably go after me since I’m the meal ticket. You could get help.”
“I don’t like that idea.”
Toph shrugged, and the handcuffs rattled. “Let me know if you come up with a better plan.”
“Yeah. Okay. Maybe instead of the gun we should try to sneak your phone from him.” She glanced over at him, and her eyes looked desolate. “Good gosh, I wish I’d shoved that idiot out of the apartment or called the police when he showed up. I’m really, really sorry.”
“Hey, I had nothing much planned for the day,” he said and was glad to see her furrowed brow relax.
Her smile was wry. “A little R and R with a kidnapper? That your idea of fun?”
“It’s something new and I’m always up for new experiences. Okay, almost always. But listen, none of this is your fault. I know a bunch of guys in insurance, and I bet even they’d say that Zack Blair qualifies as an ‘act of God’. Anyway, forget about the genius in the backseat. Tell me. What did your father say when your mother kicked you out?”
Janey passed the minivan and a Honda before answering. “Joey the yes man? He was an office kind of a guy who worked every day until 8 p.m. Didn’t get involved in what he called the ‘girls’ stuff’, as in, our lives. When Millie told us to go, Joey said see ya. I think he was just relieved the scenes with us drama queens would be over at last. To be fair, I was too. Sort of.”
“I’m so sorry.”
She raised her pale eyebrows. “Now you’re the one making apologies for acts of God. What’re you sorry for?”
He wasn’t sure why he’d said it. Maybe because he’d been so lucky in his own parents. “Um. For your rotten adolescence.”
She laughed. “It had its ups too. Wasn’t all downs. And back then…I bet if we’d been the same age? And you said you felt sorry for me? I would have done something sweet like knee you in the balls.”
He grimaced. “It’s hard to picture you doing that.”
“You mean because I’m basically civilized now? I only spent a year or so trying to be hard as nails. Drinking a lot helped make me a-a biker babe from hell. Or at least one in training.”
Janey gave a yelp of laughter, obviously amused by some memory.
“Whoops.” She glanced nervously in the rear view mirror, checking on Zack.
“Still asleep,” Toph reassured her.
In a quieter voice, Janey continued, “You should have seen me back then. I dyed my hair jet black, and then red. Lots of black eye makeup. I looked like a demented skunk crossed with a raccoon. Little leather skirts and tight, ripped tee-shirts.”
The clothes sounded intriguing. He liked the clothes. But not the makeup or hair dye. Janey had wonderful hair, what his Regency-reading British mum would call guinea gold—mixed with dandelion fluff.
She grinned at him. “When I finally woke up and saw myself, and my stupid life, I gave up the role. I’d only tried it all out to annoy my poor mother. The funniest part is that Penny dropped out of high school, but I never missed a day of school even after we moved out of the house. Except when the principal sent me home for wearing obscene clothing, and the day Rachel was born.”
“So you outgrew being mouthy.”
“Nah. More it was that Rachel got old enough to understand me. Well, after that I had no choice, did I? Now I’m the type who apologizes every time I bump into a person or anything else. Even tables. Rachel and I have a curse jar at home. A quarter a curse. I gave up cursing after I starting going broke just about every week. Damn. Too bad Millie isn’t around to see the meek and mild me.”
“Is she dead?”
“Car accident. They both died on their way to an office party.”
Still angry with Millie and Joey Carmody he said, “They don’t sound like they deserved a great daughter like you.”
Janey whistled softly and he heard her quiet amusement. “I don’t think anyone who knew us back then would agree.”
“Listen. I don’t yet know what full-blown adolescence does to daughters. So I could be wrong, but I bet the essential Janey was there the whole time. Your mother should have had faith you’d outgrow the stage and turn back into a sweet person.”
“You’re full of it. But I like a little flattery now and then.”
“I am not trying to flatter you and you know it, dammit.”
“Huh,” she said, clearly unconvinced.
He was annoyed. Didn’t the woman understand he wasn’t yanking her chain?
Maybe she didn’t understand. He’d heard part of her history. Perhaps with a mother like that, Janey truly believed she was not a fine person. The thought startled him. He didn’t understand insecurity, not the deeply ingrained sort. Just the kind that lay on the surface and that could be coaxed away, like a child’s nightmare.
What was he supposed to say to someone who was thoroughly insecure? Never mind, he knew how to deal with people who called him full of it.
“Want me to argue with you?” he challenged her. “I will, you know. I’d be happy to go over the subject point by point.”
“Nah,” she said almost cheerful, and shoved a wisp of hair behind her ear. “It’s okay. When you say something nice, I should just say thanks, right? And then let it go?”
“Mind reader,” he said and settled back down with some clinking and rattling. He twisted, even though that shoved him into an awkward position. He wanted to be able to watch her.
She glanced over at him and gave him a quick smile. She had a contagious smile, a lovely sight on that sweet, full mouth. The kind of mouth that gave a man ideas. God, yes, he wanted that mouth and body.
But the whole woman intrigued him. Janey wasn’t timid and probably wasn’t really insecure. She was the kind of person who’d been through enough not to bother with bull. She’d forgiven her unforgiving mother, learned to be a good aunt-mother in her turn. She’d taken over her own life and responsibilities and her sister’s as well. Even now, kidnapped by a man who sounded like a major loser from her unhappy past, she kept her cool and her sense of humor.
Toph’s friends told him often enough he was a tower of strength. Easy enough to be strong when you’re born into a wealthy, happy family who supported just about every decision you made from your first word. He wondered if he could have been as resilient as Janey Carmody if he’d faced the same obstacles she had.
Janey pointed her chin at an exit for Allentown. “I’ve been there,” she whispered. “And I know exactly where the police station is.”
Toph nodded. “Much better plan.”
But as they pulled from the highway onto the exit ramp, Zack’s bleary voice piped up from the back. “Hey! You’re slowing down. Why are you slowing down?”
Janey flushed and glanced uneasily at Toph who answered at once. “No big deal. I need to use the john.”
Toph wondered if Zack had overheard the plan to split up—he kept one of them handcuffed in the car when he let the other out at the deserted rest stop where he finally agreed to stop.
More driving, then beeping from the backseat, followed by some muttered cursing. Zack opened the window and threw out the phone.
“Fucking stupid game,” he growled. So much for any escape plan involving the cell phone. And so much for any hope the police would use Toph’s phone’s GPS to find them.