Unmistakeable (5 page)

When the evening was finally over, we went home. I walked her to her door even though I didn’t want our night to end. I had to get up early the next morning but I didn’t care about sleeping—at least if I was sleeping alone.

“Thanks for taking me along,” she whispered.

“You’re my girlfriend. Where I go, you go.”

She averted her gaze and looked at her keys in her hand.

I knew something was bothering her. “Tell me.”

“I guess I’m upset about the Payton thing…”

“I know it was misleading but I was desperate to get you to be with me.”

“Your treatment of my grandmother meant more to me. I think that’s what changed my mind.”

“It didn’t seem like it.” I stared her down. “You were practically in tears when you confronted me about it.”

She finally looked at me. “I never said it didn’t bother me…”

“Bother you? No, it killed you.”

“Cocky much?” A slight smirk came to her lips.

“I know how you feel about me because I feel the exact same way. And I’ve already seen you with someone else so I know how shitty it feels.”

Her eyes softened. “I guess I feel stupid that you played me.”

“I understand. But we’re together now and that’s all that matters.”

“About that…”

What did that mean?

“How do I not know you won’t get tired of me? That the moment you sleep with me you won’t look for someone else?”

Did I need to come out and say it? That I loved her? “Because I won’t. Even if we never had sex, I still wouldn’t look for someone else. You’re the only woman I want.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Absolutely.”
How could she doubt that?

“Because…I more than just like you, Ash.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “And I more than like you.”

Her voice came out quiet. “Really?”

“Yes.” I pressed my face close to hers.

“I know if we’re going to do this I need to trust you. Without trust, there is no relationship.”

I dug my fingers into her hips.

“So…I’m going to do this. I’m going to trust you. And…I’m not going to be scared.”

That’s all I ever wanted
.

“But, Ash…please don’t hurt me. If you don’t want to be with me anymore, just tell me. If this relationship isn’t working, just tell me what I’m doing wrong. All I want is your honesty. I’ll give you my trust if you give me that in return.”

I cupped her face. “Consider it done.”

She released the air in her lungs. “Thank you.”

I pressed my lips to her forehead and held it for a long moment. I didn’t want to say goodnight to her. I didn’t want this to end. “Sleep with me.”

She stilled then locked her eyes to mine.

“I just want to hold you—nothing else.”

Emotion passed in her eyes. It happened so quickly I wasn’t sure if it was real. It seemed like she was thinking of a different time, a different place. Then she came back to me. “Okay.”

I took her hand then guided her to my apartment. Once we were inside, we went into my bedroom. My comforter was dark blue and all my furniture was a dark cherry brown. Black curtains blocked out all the light.

Alaska stood still, eyeing my bed with trepidation.

I knew what she was thinking. “I changed the sheets since the last time I had a guest. And I just washed them too.”

She seemed to relax.

I opened my drawer and pulled out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. “You can wear this.”

She took it then stepped into my bathroom.

While she was gone, I changed into my sweatpants and a t-shirt. The necklace her grandmother gave me still hung around my neck. I never took it off because it seemed important to her. Knowing her husband had carried it for so many years made me understand just how much value it had. She never explained why she wanted me to have it, just that it would bring me luck.

Alaska stepped out, looking sexier than she ever had. Seeing her wear my clothes was a turn on in an indescribable way. Her longs legs were noticeable, and I stared at them for a moment, unable to stop. I was particularly in the mood because of the things she said to me outside her door.

She slipped inside my bed then pulled the covers over her.

I didn’t realize I was just staring until then. Recovering, I slipped under the covers beside her then moved my hands around her waist. I pulled her to me, making sure there was no space between us.

She breathed heavily in the darkness. I could hear her lungs work while she lay next to me. My heart was pumping hard because I felt the tension, the undeniable attraction between us. The last time she was here, she was lying on my bed with her legs wrapped around my waist. I gave into my desire and kissed her like I dreamed of. But then I ended it.

She was thinking about it. I was thinking about it.

My hand gripped her hip, feeling the noticeable curve. She had a gorgeous body. Her legs were long and thin, and she had birthing hips. Her chest was voluptuous in anything she wore. I respected her, but I wasn’t a saint. I noticed all her perfections. And the fact I’d been celibate for three months only made me more desperate for her. She was the only one I wanted, and I knew it would be amazing when I had her.

I grabbed the baggy t-shirt she wore then yanked the neck down. When her bare shoulder was exposed, I placed a hard kiss on her warm skin. I wanted to taste her, feel every inch of her. I pulled away then settled my head back onto the pillow. I didn’t make a move. I said we would just sleep and I kept my word.

“Are you trying to torture me?”

I looked into her eyes, hardly visible in the darkness.

“Finish what you started.”

My skin prickled at her words. My hand tightened around her petite waistline. I wanted to devour her like a piece of candy. “I invited you over to sleep—nothing else.”

“But I don’t want to sleep.” Her hand moved up my shirt slightly, feeling my stomach. Then she leaned in and kissed me.

Oh my fucking god.

My entire body trembled when her lips pressed against mine. The chemistry between us was explosive, electrifying. Her small mouth moved against mine, sucking and nipping at the right time. She sucked my bottom lip gently before she released it, giving me another breathtaking kiss.

Her hand moved up my back, gripping me tightly. Her nails pressed against the skin with just the right amount of pressure. It wasn’t too hard but it wasn’t too soft.

How could she ever think I’d get tired of her?

She pulled me on top of her and wrapped her legs around my waist.

Was she trying to make my head explode?

She cupped my face and kissed me hard, slipping her tongue into my mouth between kisses.

She tasted so good.

I hooked one arm around her waist and pulled her up to me, putting the rest of my weight on the other arm. Her chest was pressed against mine and I could feel her valleys and curves.

A quiet moan escaped her lips and I almost came then and there.

Our kisses were turning passionate and hot. The sexual attraction we felt for one another was igniting us both. I’d never wanted anyone more in my life than the way I wanted her. She was the sexiest, most beautiful thing in the world. I loved her for her personality and her warmth, but I was also hotter for her than I ever thought possible. And my heart loved her more than it loved itself.

We kissed for a few hours, enjoying each other as much as possible. I wanted to do more, to feel the inside of her, but I wasn’t in a hurry. We had the rest of our lives to do that.

And I knew I wanted to spend the remainder of mine with her.

CHAPTER FIVE

Alaska

In the back of my mind, I was a little scared where this relationship with Ash would lead. He could hurt me so easily, and I would be unable to stop it. But I couldn’t say no and I couldn’t walk away. What I felt for Ash was different than what I felt for Jace by a landslide. My heart beat sporadically every time he was around. And I longed for him constantly.

So, I was going to do this and hope for the best. I had to remember that Ash wasn’t the same guy I met four months ago. He used to be a classic jackass but he changed and became something entirely different.

But how did I know he wouldn’t change back?

I was working on my schedule at home when my phone lit up.

Open your front door.
It was Ash.

I smiled. I liked the little gifts he left on my doorstep. I opened the door and found a long-stemmed pink flower along with a note.

Be ready for dinner in an hour. Wear something nice.

I walked back inside then smelled the flower. I melted into a puddle right then and there.

He was at my door an hour later. I wore a black backless dress with black pumps. My hair was styled and curled, and I decorated my face with make up. I hadn’t had a reason to dress up lately, but I wanted to look good for Ash.

I answered it, feeling my knees go weak at the sight of him. He wore a gray V-neck with a black blazer. His dark jeans matched his jacket and he wore dress shoes. His shoulders were broad and noticeable, and the outline of muscle of his chest was noticeable. His eyes stood out, looking deep and blue.

He looked delicious
.

His eyes took me in, examining every curve without shame. “You look lovely.”

Lovely? He used that word again.

“You look handsome.”

“Thanks. But you outshine me—like always.” He stepped into my apartment, coming closer to me. I was taller than usual in my heels but he still towered over me. Then he cupped my face and kissed me, doing it slow and gentle.

My heart raced and my breathing hitched. Every time I touched him, I didn’t want to stop.

One hand gripped my waist, digging his fingers into me. His tongue slipped into my mouth, lightly touching mine. Goosebumps trailed over my skin. I felt a tremor in my hands because the feeling was so explosive.

Ash abruptly pulled away then felt his lips. “We should probably stop—or we won’t make it to dinner.”

I wasn’t hungry anymore.

He stepped back and waited for me to lock the door.

My hand was still shaking slightly, the aftermath of that blinding kiss.

Then he took my hand and guided me to his car. When he opened my door, he glanced at my back, seeing the bare skin. “Wow…”

“What?” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

He moved behind me then gripped me around the waist. Then he placed a kiss between my shoulder blades. His lips burned my skin, leaving an invisible mark only the two of us could see. He moved his mouth to my neck and gave me another kiss. “I really need to stop touching you…” He stepped away and held the door open, waiting for me to get inside.

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” I sat down then looked at him.

His eyes darkened before he shut the door.

When he came to the driver’s seat, he gripped my thigh. “What is the music selection tonight?”

“How about your pick this time?”

“No. I would never step on your toes.” He started the engine then pulled away.

I flipped through his CD’s then picked one out.

He nodded his head while he listened to the music. “
Radiohead
. Excellent choice, darling.”

“Darling?” I liked it when he called me that.

“Yes, you’re my beloved.”

I never pictured Ash as the romantic type. He seemed to prefer getting to the point. I recalled our first conversation vividly.

He parked in front of the restaurant.

I eyed the sign. “The Marine Room? Isn’t this place really expensive?”

“Not expensive enough for my date.” He got out then opened my door. He extended his hand and helped me up. His eyes darted to my naked back again. “Are you trying to make my head explode?”

I smirked then averted my face.

He hooked his arm around my waist and led me inside. “Reservations for James.”

The host looked at the list and nodded. “This way, sir.”

“Thank you.” He held my hand and guided me to a table. Like always, he pulled the chair out and helped me sit down. Then he sat across from me, looking eatable.

“You really are a gentleman.”

“But only to a select few. Believe me, I’m still a dick to a lot of people.”

I smirked. “Lucky me.”

He looked at the menu. “Would you like some wine?”

“Water is fine.” I remembered the last time I was drunk around him. I didn’t want to repeat that. Well, I did. I just wanted to be sober enough to remember it.

He stared at me from across the table, his look hard.

“What?” I asked.

“I like to look at you. You’re mine so I can stare all I want.”

“Do I get that same privilege?”

He smiled slightly. “Yes, darling.”

I looked down at my menu and tried to decide what to get. When I felt his heated stare, I looked up again.

He was staring me down, not being discreet about it at all. “My date is the most beautiful woman in the room—all rooms actually.”

My heart fluttered at his words. Jace never said anything like that to me. I didn’t realize how horribly he treated me until Ash came into my life. I felt special when I was with him. I was important enough for him to change, to commit to me. I was hurt over what Jace did to me, but maybe it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Ash studied my face. “One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure. And you’re the Holy Grail to me.”

My cheeks blushed and I didn’t know what to say.

“Ash?”

I turned to see a middle aged woman wearing pearls. She was standing with a man wearing a suit.

“What a surprise.” She smiled at him, clearly adoring him. Judging her age, she must be a teacher, parent, or family friend.

Ash looked flustered. “Oh. Hi, Mom.” He didn’t seem happy to see her.

His mom glanced at me then turned back to him. “Who’s this?”

“Uh…” Ash stumbled over his words. For the first time, he wasn’t calm and collective. “A friend from school.”

A friend? What?

“Oh.” His mother nodded. “I’m Loraine, Ash’s mother.” She extended her hand to shake mine.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. James.” I felt hollow inside, empty.

“It’s a pleasure.” His father shook my hand.

“Likewise.”

Ash looked annoyed.

“Let us join you,” his mother said. “We’ll have our waiter bring everything over.”

“Actually, we want some privacy,” Ash said.

“Nonsense. We’ll be right back.” She turned away, her husband trailing behind her.

Ash ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I’m sorry about this.”

I said nothing, hurt he introduced me as a friend.

“I didn’t tell them you’re my girlfriend because my parents are snooty assholes. They’ve wanted me to settle down for a while, and if I tell them what you are to me, they’ll rip you apart. I don’t want you to deal with that—at least right now.” He stared at my face, waiting for me to say something. “If it really offends you, I’ll tell them exactly what you mean to me without any regret. I’m just looking out for you. Our relationship is only beginning and I don’t want you to have any more pressure.”

Now I felt slightly guilty for being upset.

“It’s your choice. What do you want?” He glanced at them, seeing them return.

“No, it’s okay. I understand.”

“Are you sure? Because I don’t give a shit what they think. I’m just protecting you.”

“No, it’s fine.”

They came back to the table, ending our conversation.

His mother placed her glass on the table then sat down. “So, how’s school?”

Ash seemed irritated. “It’s fine. Nothing new to report.”

“How’s emergency medicine?” his father asked.

“Exciting, but I missed primary care.” Ash drank half his water then put it down.

I felt like they weren’t having a real conversation, more of an interrogation.

“Really?” His father seemed surprised.

His mother patted his arm and looked at me. “My husband went to medical school at Stanford. He’s a surgeon.”

Oh. Why did that matter?
“That’s impressive.”
What else was I supposed to say?

She seemed to approve of my response.

Ash looked embarrassed. “I like having a relationship with the patient. It makes the job more meaningful.”

“But you don’t make as much money,” his father countered. “Emergency medicine and surgery are where the big bucks are.”

Was that all they cared about?

Ash leaned back in his chair. “It’s too soon to make any concrete decisions.” He was a completely different person around them. It seemed like he didn’t even like them.

“So…how’s your sister?” his mother asked. She looked down as she said it, almost like she was ashamed. Why did she refer to her like that? Not by her name?

“She’s doing well.” Ash drummed his fingers on the table. “Her artwork is only attracting more people. And she’s having a great time living with Scotty.”

His mother rolled her eyes. “The shame…”

Huh?

Ash glared at his mother then averted his gaze. He was holding his tongue, trying not to explode.

His parents didn’t acknowledge me once. Never once was I included in the conversation. Now I understood why he didn’t want to admit his relationship to me. They would interrogate me in the same way.

His mother turned his gaze on me.

Oh no.

“Do you go to school with Ash?” She kept her back perfectly straight and her body poised.

Uh…
I looked at him, asking for direction.

“No, she doesn’t.” Ash answered for me. “She’s actually my next door neighbor.”

“Oh.” His father nodded. “That’s nice…”

“Do you go to the university?” his mom questioned.

Uh…

Ash answered for me again. “She’s a successful photographer. She works with Livia sometimes. Actually, you met Alaska at the showcase a few months ago.”

They did? I didn’t even remember that.

“Oh.” The disapproval came into her eyes. “Well, that’s lovely.”

Was she like this with Livia too?

Ash was fuming from his side of the table. “I just realized I needed to be somewhere. Alaska and I are leaving.”

“What?” His mother looked at him like she was just slapped in the face.

“I’m sick of you judging everyone for not being doctors or lawyers. If you keep ridiculing people like this, your circle is only going to get smaller and smaller.” Ash pulled out my chair for me then helped me stand up. “Goodnight.”

Without looking back, he guided me out of the restaurant. The tension was in his shoulders and his hands were clenched. He opened the door for me, still fuming, and then practically slammed it once I was inside the car.

When he was behind the wheel, he left the parking lot and got onto the road, driving nowhere in particular. “I’m sorry about that. I had no idea they would be there.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“Now do you understand why I didn’t introduce you by your title?”

“Yeah… Do they treat Livia that way too?”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t even get me started. They’ve wanted me to settle down with a wife, so if they found out it was you, my mom would pry into your personal affairs like a private investigator. I’ve never had a girlfriend before, so they would be even more anal about it. And if I did bring someone around, they would know she was it—the woman I would marry.”

My heart moved into my throat.
What did he say?

He grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb over the knuckles. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t care less what they think, but I didn’t want to put you on the spot. The last thing I need right now is to lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Ash.” I looked at our joined hands.

He breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m still hungry. How about you?”

“Starving.”

“Let’s just get McDonald’s and eat it at the apartment.”

I smiled. “McDonald’s?” We were just at a fancy restaurant where his parents basically bragged about how successful they were. And now he wanted fast food?

“They may be fancy, but I’m not. What do you say?”