Unmistakable (17 page)

Gunny looks at every single one of us. All of us looking straight at him.

“Do you concur, boys?” He asks, stress evident in his face.

“Unfortunately, yes, Gunny. I saw nothing on her phone,” LT answers.

“Based on our conversation, it seems she’s made up her mind already. It’s as if she’s asking me for permission without exactly telling me. She probably deleted the message even before you called me. She’s lying, and I’m not going to sit here and watch it all implode. I’m out,” I say, with as much conviction as I can, though my heart says something else.

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘you’re out’?” LT’s low menacing voice asks me.

“Give me Summer, and you can have her,” I answer him as calmly as I can.

Gunny’s serious tone translates to no one better challenge me, “Everything stays the same. If we change anything, she’ll know we’re on to her. I know…”

I interrupt Gunny, which I rarely do…rarely anyone does, “I’m sorry, Sir.

Permission to speak?”

He gives me a one nod answer, and I plow through, leaving no stone unturned. At this point, what have I got to lose.

“She already knows we’re on to her! What we need to do is to stop her! I can’t get it out of her, no matter what I do. Tell me what you want me to do, and it’s done. If you want me to take her out of the city, state, or country, I’m on it. Name it; I’ll do it.”

Gunny’s piercing eyes are like a drill, boring holes in mine. His tenacity is overwhelming, yet inspiring. His dedication is true to the bone. His unyielding strength makes people surrender to it. His determination is hard to break or bend. When he has made a decision, there’s no way it can change, not for me….not for Roxy. Not for anyone.

“Once I received word my brother wants to contact her, I knew something like this might happen. No one, I repeat, no one will disengage from the plan. We stick to it with minor adjustments. Cody, buckle your emotions tight, son. It’s going to be a rough ride for you. I’m asking you to suck it up.”

“Should we take this in the garage, Dad? She might hear us,” Jake says.

“I’ve got that covered. I have your mom up there talking to the girls. I’m sure they’re all in Trish’s room. Now, we need to make her believe nothing is wrong, and Cody just over reacted.” Swinging his gaze at me he continues. “Cody, after I leave, go and talk to her. Apologize for losing your shit. I don’t care how you’re gonna do it, just do it. Whoever got to her, I’m sure will give her a set of instructions. If not tomorrow, it’s gonna happen within the next couple of days.” Gunny takes a deep breath and continues on, “Let’s slice it, boys, forms of communication. One, her cell, I want eyes on her at all times. Two, the land line, watch that baby like a newborn sucking her mama’s tit. Three, mail. More than likely, that’s the next form of communication on their part. Who gets the mail?”

Brian raises his pointer finger. “Tami gets it like clockwork, every single day.”

“That’s it. Watch for unusual reactions from Roxy. She’s used to Cody sticking to her like glue, ease on it a bit without actually doing it. Give her a little bit of leverage. Just enough that she has room to move, but not so much they can snatch and grab her. Do you get it?”

I start shaking my head, surprised as hell Gunny is even suggesting this. “So, basically, we are setting her up to be taken. Gunny, no disrespect, but I can’t do that. It goes against everything I know.”

“You don’t have a choice here, son. Make no mistake, I fucking hate this, too. Do you think I want to use her as bait? Based on my intel, if we don’t let her do what they ask of her, their next target is Trish. I’ll bet my ass, they told her that too. They’ll hit us where it hurts.”

Jake’s demeanor changes as soon as Trish’s name was mentioned. He’s clenching his jaw like no one’s business, and the mood in the room skyrockets. Jake, always the planner, asks the question I don’t want to know the answer to.

“What’s the play, Dad? I’m thinking, let’s put Trish in the hospital. It’s more secure and controlled. Call in Marco and Derek as backup. It won’t raise any red flags, because if they had eyes on us today, they would’ve seen us go to the doctor’s office. For the record, I’m not in favor of using Rox as bait. Is there another way?”

Gunny stands up and crosses his arms over his chest. “There’s no other play here, Jake, but that. It’s like a fucking chess game; sometimes, you need to sacrifice your queen to win. Look, it’s impossible they’ll do a snatch and grab without establishing communication one more time. Let’s find out what they want, and once we do, we’ll plan accordingly. One step at a time boys. LT, make sure a tracker is in place tomorrow.”

Standing up, I try my hardest to control the rage that’s starting to make its way up, fueled by my frustration, rams its way out of my mouth.

“That’s exactly it! How the hell are we gonna find out what’s going on if she won’t work with us?”

“I have everything in place, Cody. Relax. This isn’t my first rodeo Cody. Relinquish a little bit of that control, alright?”

Gunny motions for me to follow him outside, so I do. I’m nervous, not knowing what he’s going to tell me. It has to be some form of intervention if he wants to talk to me alone. Can this day get any worse? He’s staring into the darkness with his back to me.

“I’m not gonna waste your time talking about feelings. I know you’re hurting, and everything I’m asking you is going against the grain of how you guys are trained; but trust me, son; everything’s gonna work out. Trust, Cody…I need you to trust me.”

“Gunny, you’re asking me to be okay with putting her life on the line, it’s something that’s hard for me to accept, Sir. My natural instinct tells me to protect her, not to push her toward danger. Give me one last chance, maybe, I can still convince her to come clean. Then, maybe, we can use a decoy? I don’t know, just not her. I don’t want an inch of her body getting hurt. She’s mine to protect. Mine.”

Gunny turns around, takes two steps toward me, and squeezes my shoulder with his right hand. His face a blanket of sadness and concern. This is definitely hurting him, too, but I hope he understands how it’s killing me.

“Cody, I know what I’m asking of you is too much, but this is your job. Don’t let your emotions take over. The sooner we neutralize the problem, the better. You don’t want a surprise attack, do you? This plan has the least amount of risk for everyone. This may not be what you want to hear, but Roxy will do what she wants with or without us. This way, we’ll keep tabs on her and have a plan in place. ”

A disheartened sigh leaves my lips. “Again, exactly how are we going to find out since she’s tight lipped about everything?”

“Don’t worry about that Cody. What you need to focus on, is how to fix this now. Make it convincing, Cody. We need this to work.”

Before he steps away from me, I ask him one question. A question I know any man in my position would ask of another man.

“If it were Patti, would you decide on the same course of action? Would you put her in harm’s way? Would you?”

With tears dancing in his eyes, his answer didn’t surprise me at all. In fact, it made me respect this man even more. He’s so self-sacrificing, he’s willing to gamble the one person that makes his heart feel…

“I would. It would hurt like a bitch, but as a leader, much is expected of me. What would you, or anyone, think of me when I only protect what’s mine, and sacrifice only what’s yours? Life is full of hard choices and gut wrenching battles, but we have to face these challenges. We can’t hide or run from them. We have to face them, and we’ll face them with pride and honor, with strength and conviction, and a whole lot of hope and trust that HE who sends us to do these hard things, knows what HE’s doing. Don’t forget, Roxy’s a fighter. The fight isn’t over, son. Don’t start waving the white flag. The fat lady has yet to sing.”

He walks away, leaving me speechless. I didn’t expect less from him, and now, I’m left thinking less of myself. It’s a reality check when my own selfish reasons are thrown in my face. I’m only thinking what’s good for me…for us. It’s hard to look at the bigger picture when all I see is her…all I feel is her…all I need is her….my everything
is
her. While that realization hits me as a bull seeing a red flag, the selfish nature that exists in each one of us overpowers everything else.

Brian’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “You can’t blame Rox for this, Cody. She doesn’t have a choice, not when Trish is the one who’s going to suffer.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “She has a choice, B. She has a choice to tell me, but she doesn’t. She has a choice to do this with me, but she won’t. We always have a choice. The problem is, my girl always excludes me, because she doesn’t trust me.”

“If she told you what’s up, would you have agreed to the plan?” Brian asks as he leans on the railing with his arms cross over his chest.

“I wouldn’t have, but I would’ve seen the logic soon enough. Her telling me would have made it easier. If we’re fighting this as a team, it’ll ease the load somehow, but her not telling me, it hurts, Brian. I want her to tell me everything, good or bad. I want to be the person she runs to, not runs away from.”

“Sometimes, it’s in the end you realize you’re working together, and not against each other. Give it time, man. How about you go inside and talk to her. Put on your Chris Pine face and pretend all is good. Be convincing, lover boy.” Brian nudges me as we both let out a small smile.

As soon as I open the door, I find her sitting on the bed, knees close to her chest as her head rests on them. How can I pretend my heart’s not hurting? Just the mere sight of her and an imaginary iron hand squeezes my heart.
Suck it up, Cody. Show her your strength. Do your best to lie to her.
How fucked up is this situation? I’m upset at her for lying to me, when right at this moment, I’m about to lie to her. God, give me the strength to do this, because I’m five seconds away from doing the opposite. Telling myself, I need to follow orders moves me to do just that.

Slowly, I sit down on the bed, my back to her. Every time I talk to her, I always face her, my hands somehow touching her, but I find myself doing it less and less. I don’t know if I’m protecting myself from pain, or I’m afraid once I make contact, I’ll just tell her the truth…

“Are you okay, Rox?” I softly ask.

My fingers are itching to touch her. My mouth dying to kiss her.

“Yeah, how about you?”

Taking a deep breath I begin, “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I just…I don’t know what’s got me all worked up. I think, the stress is catching up to me.” I stop, because I can’t lie anymore; my heart won’t let me. So, I say what my heart wants. “I love you, Rox. I hope you don’t forget that.”

I can hear her whimpers, and it breaks my heart even more. The pain I’m feeling is indescribable. I don’t think I can put my fucking heart back to how it was. We’re both hurting, and it kills me I can’t do anything about it, because we’re each other’s reason for it hurting like a bitch. When I’m away from her, I’m consumed with anger, because she won’t be honest with me; but when she’s near me, I’m consumed with pain. Not pain that’s caused by her, but by this damn situation. God, if there’s any other way, please….please, show me.

“You know I love you, that’s never going to change. I know it’s been hard lately, but it’ll get better.” Her shaky voice is so low, I can barely hear her.

“I know. We’re good, right, Roxy?” I ask her still not able to look at her face.

“When are we not okay, love? We always fight our way through, right? As long as we talk it out, we’ll be okay.”

She says it with so much conviction, I almost forget for a second the pain in my chest.

I let out a forced smile. “Yeah, you want to sleep now, love?”

“I’ve been ready.”

I stand up and unbutton my jeans, shucking them off, then I shrug off my shirt, chucking it on the floor. I finally turn around with only my boxers, and seeing her face wet with tears almost brings me to my knees. I suck it up. Right now, I don’t want to understand the whys, the how’s, and the what-the-fucks. For now, I just want to hold her. So, I do.

As I lie down on the bed, she scoots toward me on her own. My arms open up for her as my heart awaits its mate, my body shakes in anticipation of feeling her skin against mine, my lips await the heat only hers can give; but at the same time, my heart bleeds. How can I claw myself out of this hell when the hell I’m living in is the heaven I seek?

I feel our relationship is a hoax. Can this still be the unmistakable love I thought we once had? Can our love that I always want to protect, survive anything? Can our love that I always put all my hopes on, pull us through the darkness? Can our love continue to persevere, through the hurt?

I just don’t know anymore.