Unlovable (20 page)

I didn’t protest the rides again. I
wasn’t too upset really, with all the murders lately and the whole
Funhouse fiasco, it was comforting not to have to walk to and from
school alone.

I was also enjoying my time delivering
lunches to the shut-ins. Since I was now part of the Lunch Swap
team, I had to wear a uniform. It consisted of jeans and a white
tee shirt with the Lunch Swap insignia; a ham sandwich embroidered
on the left breast pocket. Seth said it was okay to wear the jeans
to school if I wanted. I questioned whether the owner would be
angry if I did, but he reassured me the guy was a cuddly old teddy
bear, and I didn’t have a thing to worry about.

“
Mr. McSheehy’s hip is
almost healed,” Seth said as we pulled up in front of the small
house on Front Street. I was relieved to hear he was doing better.
I’d been adding some of the chicken from my lunches into his,
hoping the extra protein would help expedite his healing. “Did you
notice he was using a cane last week?” I nodded as he handed me
McSheehy’s lunch. “And have you also noticed he has a crush on
you?”

“
Seth, Mr. McSheehy is 87, I
doubt he has a crush on me, he’s too old.”

“
Once you reach 87 you no
longer have feelings?” He cocked a quizzical brow at me. “Watch how
he acts while we’re here, it’s as if I don’t exist.” I shook my
head and walked up to his door. “I’ll leave you two alone if you
want.” I playfully smacked him on the chest as the door flew open
before we could knock. There stood Mr. McSheehy with a huge grin on
his face.

“
Hello, Maggie, you look
lovely.” He hugged me gently. I could hear Seth’s quiet laughter as
he closed the door behind us.

“
Hello, Seth, how are you?”
Mr. McSheehy shook Seth’s hand, not nearly as warm a greeting as I
received. “Tell me, son, what took you so long to bring this lovely
lady with you?” He directed us over to some chairs and we sat down.
“She’s easier on the eyes than old Sam.” He patted my hand as Seth
coughed to cover his laugh.

“
My dear, please don’t be
offended, but I’ve noticed the sad state of your shoes. I’d like to
help.”

Shoot! I’d forgotten to tuck them
under my chair. He drew a small worn leather coin purse out of his
pocket and began digging out some money. “Son, please take her
shopping for new shoes after you leave here.”

“
No!” I softly pressed Mr.
McSheehy’s hand and coin purse back. “Thank you anyway. I’ve
planned on getting some new shoes, and just haven’t had time to go
to the mall yet.” I felt terrible for lying, but there was no way I
was taking money from a sweet old man who barely had enough to live
on as it was.

“
Mr. McSheehy, I’ll take her
shopping as soon as we’re done here. Next week you won’t recognize
her feet.”

“
You two had better get
going. It’s supposed to snow six to ten inches tonight and those
shoes will never do. I’d miss you if you became ill and didn’t
come,” he said, patting my hand gently. “You remind me of my
daughter, she was lovely also, and kind, like you. She died of
influenza when she was only sixteen,” he said though teary eyes.
“Be off with you now. Scoot.”

“
I guess this disproves your
crush theory,” I said, climbing back into his car.

“
That was really sweet.” He
made a U-turn, heading in the opposite direction of my
house.

“
I thought he was our last
delivery, where are we going?” I double-checked the list to make
sure.

“
To buy you some shoes.” He
looked at me as if it was obvious.

“
I didn’t bring any money.”
I didn’t have any money.

“
You can pay me back
later.”

“
Seth,” I swallowed hard. “I
can’t…”

He pulled over to the side of the
road. “Maggie, you know I can easily afford this, right?” He cupped
my chin in his hand. “Please let me help, as a friend.”

I thought for a moment. “Okay, but,” I
said, holding up a finger, “only if you’ll let me work them off,
like I am with the jacket. I’ll continue helping you deliver
lunches until you feel like I’ve paid you back, fair and
square.”

“
Deal.” He smiled and slowly
pulled my face close to his, kissing my cheek. My poor heart went
crazy. “Still friends, right?” I nodded, mostly because I couldn’t
speak. “Good, let’s go shopping!” He held my face a moment longer
before letting go.

Seth took me into several
shoe stores in the mall, each one more expensive than the other,
and I refused to try on the shoes. Finally giving up, he asked
which store I wanted to try. I dragged him to a discount shoe store
where I’d once gotten shoes as a child.
The Shoe Horse
.

A huge sign hung above the door of a
black stallion rearing up on his haunches wearing white high-top
sneakers. Several years ago, a neighbor had brought me here while
shopping for her little girl. The store offered a ’Buy one, get one
free’ sale, and she let me have the free pair, even allowing me to
choose the pair I wanted; shiny pink shoes with black bows. I wore
them until the soles clapped when I walked and my toes bled from
being pinched at the end.

“
Maggie, these are not very
good shoes, they’ll hardly last a year.” Shaking his head, he
flipped the shoes over and looked at the soles.

“
But look.” I pointed to an
aged sign in the store window. It looked like the same sign that
hung there all those years ago. I got the impression this ’Buy one,
get one free’ sale happened often.

“
A deal isn’t always a
deal.”

“
I think you want me to buy
expensive shoes so I’ll have to keep helping you deliver the
lunches,” I teased.

“
Hmm, I hadn’t thought of
that. We’re going back to the expensive store for sure.”

“
I’ll help you until college
starts, I promise. Are you sure the people who run the charity
don’t mind?”

“
I can do whatever I want.”
He smiled angelically. With that face, I didn’t doubt
it.

I tried on a pair of heavy-duty brown
shoes. They weren’t exactly attractive, but they’d keep my feet
warm and dry. Neither rain nor snow could possibly get through
these ugly bad boys and they were marked down, a bonus. Seth made a
face when I showed him. He picked out a pair of slick black snow
boots from the window display that were really cute. He gave the
thumbs up after I tried them on.

He wandered off toward a display of
socks as I placed the ugly shoes back in the box. My eyes landed on
a pair of black, strappy pumps on display next to me. Unable to
resist, I quickly slipped them on. They look so pretty. I walked
over to a mirror and pulled up the hem of my jeans a few inches to
get a better view.

“
They look good on you,
Maggie.” I spun around quickly and lost my balance. “Sorry, I
didn’t mean to startle you.” He held my arm to steady
me.

“
I’m fine.” I hurried over
to a stool and slid them off, putting my holey shoes back on.
“They’re not practical. I doubt I’d ever wear them.”

“
Sometimes you need to step
outside your comfort zone. It’s okay to let your hair down and take
a few risks. It’s not as scary as you think and it’s certainly more
fun.” I got the feeling we were no longer talking about
shoes.

“
I’ll just take these two
pair, thanks.”

I gathered both pair and took them to
the register. Outside the store, he led me to a bench in the mall,
and removing the ugly brown shoes from the box, he handed them to
me with a contorted frown. I laughed and gave him my holey
shoes.

“
May I?” he asked, holding
them over a trash can.

“
No, I’ve had them for a
long time. They’ve served me well.”

“
Why do you still need
them?”

“
They’ll make good slippers.
If I come home from school and my shoes are wet, I can slip those
on.” I beamed proudly at my prudent thinking. “And thank you, Seth.
You really didn’t have to do this.”

“
You’re welcome, though I
could’ve gotten you slippers too.”

He gave me the leftover lunches when
we arrived at my house. Tucking the shoeboxes under his arm, he
walked me to the door.

“
Thanks for your help
today.”

“
You’re welcome. Why do you
need my help delivering the lunches anyway?”

“
I like the company.” He ran
his hand through my hair, playfully ruffling it up. “A friend of
mine named Sam used to help deliver the lunches. He’s 92 and had a
stroke a few months back and it became too much for him. You’ve met
his grandson Booker the other night at the festival. He’s the
detective who interviewed us.”

Cute Detective Booker Gatto was a
friend of Seth’s? Small world.

“
Thanks again, for
everything.” I rested my back against the doorframe and watched him
drive away, wishing I didn’t care for him as much as I did. I
didn’t want to get involved with anyone, just friends, that’s all I
wanted, no matter how much my heart screamed at my head for more. I
tossed my silly heart’s ranting out and went inside.

There was blood everywhere.

14

“
MOM!” I followed the blood
trail to the bathroom and found her in a heap next to the toilet,
moaning. “Mom, what’s wrong?” I dropped to the floor and pulled her
frail body into my arms, searching for wounds.

“
What do you think is
wrong?” she hissed. “I’m sick, you stupid child.” A fountain of
blood abruptly gushed from her mouth, spattering my
clothes.

***

We arrived at the hospital via an
ambulance. They immediately rushed my mom away while an aide
abandoned me in a dreary waiting area off to the side. I was left
alone to pick at some loose threads on the sea foam green couch
under the annoying flickering of fluorescent lights for nearly
three hours. If someone didn’t talk to me soon, I was going to go
mad.

“
Hello, I’m Dr. Colter. Are
you here with Barbara Brown?” I jumped at the deep rich voice of
the long-legged doctor as he stepped toward me. I had to tilt my
head back to see his face. He wore brown leather clogs and blue
scrubs that intensified the color of his deep blue eyes. His golden
blond hair softly framed his gentle face, and when he stepped
closer, I noticed a few freckles peppered across the bridge of his
straight nose, giving his handsomely chiseled face a youthful
appearance. He also had a small round bandage on the underside of
his jaw.

“
I’m assuming you’re her
daughter, Maggie, correct?” I nodded again and shook his hand. “I
need to ask you some questions, if that’s alright.” He proceeded
with a few routine questions about her health history, making notes
on her chart as I answered. He then went straight to the root of
the problem. “Does your mother have a drinking problem?” I
whispered a yes and lowered my eyes to the ground. “For how
long?”

When has my mother not had a drinking
problem? “She’s been drinking all my life.”

He led me over to the couch, and I sat
down. “Maggie, your mom has developed several ulcers along the
lining of her stomach and the alcohol is exacerbating them, which
was why she was throwing up blood. I’m afraid she’ll need to stay
here for a few days. We’ll have to give her a blood transfusion,
and I’d like to admit her to our Detox program, though she’s
insisting she doesn’t have a drinking problem.”

In my dreams!
I shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

“
She is also refusing to let
us do any further tests on her. I’d want to check her liver and
pancreatic functions,” he said, sitting down next to me. “Her
coloring is somewhat poor, and I’m afraid she has other health
issues, apart from the ulcers, that should be addressed. Without
running the tests, we can’t treat her properly. Will you speak with
her over the next couple of days and encourage her to let us do the
tests?”

“
Sure, I’ll try.” Although,
I knew she wouldn’t listen to me either. He led me to her room, and
before leaving told me she’d been sedated and probably wouldn’t be
awake until tomorrow. A nurse brought me a pillow and blanket,
along with some clean hospital scrubs to change into. In my rush to
get to the hospital, I’d forgotten about the blood all over my
clothes.

I slept very little in the
lounge chair next to my mother’s bed and rose with the sun the next
morning. I spent the rest of the day wandering around the hospital
thinking about the homework I couldn’t do and watching my mother
sleep. When she was awake, she’d yell at me to “
get her out of this stinking place
.”
Dr. Colter came in to see her shortly before dinner.

“
Hi. I haven’t been able to
speak to my mom about the tests yet. She’s slept most of the
day.”

“
The medication she’s on
tends to cause drowsiness. I’m hoping to take her off it tomorrow.”
He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You
should go home and get some rest, you’re exhausted. Is there a
phone number we can reach you at?” I gave him the phone number of
my neighbor, Mr. Hoffman, and left, taking the bag of soiled
clothes with me.